Misdirected Email

[midaycare]

This board is a GREAT resource for providers and for parents.

I encourage my parents to use this forum as a resource.

My encouragement to use it has nothing to do with their happiness or unhappiness... not sure what that means. :confused:

I think when people are unhappy with something, they tend to do research on whatever they are unhappy about. I don't do research about when I feel good, but I do when I feel bad. I don't research a restaurant when I had good service, but I do when I've had bad.

When I was happy with DS's daycare, I never researched anything. But when I was concerned, I was all over the Internet!

I don't think I would ever guide a parent here. This is my "go to" place to connect and vent with others like me. But if everyone is promoting it to parents, I will stop posting. Then it's no longer a "safe" space for me. And I would not want my dcf's to see dcp's venting, honestly. It's unprofessional. It's something you do to a coworker. In our business, most of us don't have that luxury.

[Tasha]

Wow, what a story!

OP, I think you did the perfect thing, emailing back that you didn't think that was meant for you. It gives her the chance to apologize, which is what is totally in order. IMO, this would not have to ruin the business relationship...I see it as DCM just venting and projecting her own inadequacies onto you. It is up to her if SHE can get over it or not and move on.

What I want to know, OP, is why in the world are your DCFs hanging around this forum? I can't imagine having so much time on my hands that I would want to read forums about, say, my dog groomer venting about the ins and outs of her job. :confused:

My DCFs aren't hanging around here (as far as I know).
It just happened one time - last summer, a DCM's kid had an issue, so she Googled it, and came upon my thread discussing it. (At least, that's how she said she found it.) I wasn't nasty about her or her child in the thread, thank goodness. But it was very uncomfortable.
I think I have very good relationships with the rest of my families, but now I'm second-guessing everybody. I understand completely that people need to vent to their friends, but in this particular case it just chaps my hide that I was doing her a favor, yet this woman called me smug, and said that I acted like I enjoyed charging her the late fee. I did not enjoy it a bit. I dreaded it, and didn't want to say anything, but I knew I had to or she would keep showing up late.
I don't know what she will say to me this afternoon, but I have already printed out my termination letter, and will get her child's stuff together, along with a check for the money I owe her.

[Blackcat31]

I think when people are unhappy with something, they tend to do research on whatever they are unhappy about. I don't do research about when I feel good, but I do when I feel bad. I don't research a restaurant when I had good service, but I do when I've had bad.

When I was happy with DS's daycare, I never researched anything. But when I was concerned, I was all over the Internet!

I understand doing research if you want info about something you are unhappy with but that was not at all what I was referring to when I said I have parents that come to this board often.

fwiw~ I research everything. NOT based on my happiness or unhappiness though.... I research because information is power.

I don't think I would ever guide a parent here. This is my "go to" place to connect and vent with others like me. But if everyone is promoting it to parents, I will stop posting. Then it's no longer a "safe" space for me. And I would not want my dcf's to see dcp's venting, honestly. It's unprofessional. It's something you do to a coworker. In our business, most of us don't have that luxury.

You might want to stop posting then.... ::
We have an entire section of this board FOR parents/guardians so they ARE here.

This is a free forum that doesn't even require registration to read or post so at any time 1,000,000's of readers could be reading anything posted and you (general you) would never know.

Personally, I would ever in a million years post or put anything on the internet that I wouldn't stand behind in real life.

What I post, print, say and do is the same in real life and in my virtual life.... which is probably why I don't care if parents read every post on this forum.

In my honest opinion, venting is NOT unprofessional.
HOW you vent can be unprofessional but I do not think venting is unprofessional.

Before I vent about a problem on the internet, I've more than likely already discussed it with the person I have the issue with (because I personally believe that is my professional obligation) so I don't stress about someone reading my words/vents/posts.

But for those that do, there is a private section (for only long time members), an off-topic section (where only members have access) and the option to post as an unregistered user but in no way is this forum a place that can guarantee anyone privacy.

It's the internet. Privacy is really just a farce.

[Unregistered]

I think it was a term of endearment. It is a celebratory song...

OP, This is from a business website I love called business balls.

Yes it is. Snoop dogg song
Embrace the BOW, you aren't obviously, you are just enforcing rules and running a business - who cares what she thinks, you know you're in the right ☺

[midaycare]

[B[/B]You might want to stop posting then.... ::

Agreed.

[Cat Herder]

My inspector (she prefers the term mentor ) is a registered member here, too.

Sometimes we agree, sometimes we don't (mentors can't take your money ). ::

Much love to her. lovethis

Public forums are not safe space.

[NoMoreJuice!]

I have one incidence where I was 100% sure the parent had read my vent about them on here. She didn't tell me, and I didn't ask, but she specifically referenced terms I used and others had used to reply. I am glad for the experience, because it has made me more aware of what I type. You guys have no idea how many posts I've written and then closed the window without posting.

Seriously, I am dying to hear what happens next. Good luck Tasha! I guess I'll see everyone back here this evening!

[Annalee]

I have one incidence where I was 100% sure the parent had read my vent about them on here. She didn't tell me, and I didn't ask, but she specifically referenced terms I used and others had used to reply. I am glad for the experience, because it has made me more aware of what I type. You guys have no idea how many posts I've written and then closed the window without posting.

Seriously, I am dying to hear what happens next. Good luck Tasha! I guess I'll see everyone back here this evening!

I am waiting to hear what happens as well! I have text someone before by mistake and I was venting as well....definitely makes for an awkward first meeting....while I didn't use BOW in the text but I was venting about the way I didn't like how they handled something::

[MunchkinWrangler]

I leave for one day!!
I'm interested to hear what happens tonight, I'll have to tune in. I love how the tag says b**** on wheels. LOL!

I don't even know how I would feel in this situation and I feel for you Tasha. It's so confusing when someone is sweeter than pie to your face but is so vicious behind your back. It definitely causes a lack of trust. I think everyone has had amazing advice and I think you are handling it well. Lesson learned, I think it is just solidifies to all of us to be professional with everyone and treat this as a business and not to invest into friendships with the families we serve, no matter how nice they are to our face.

[lovemykidstoo]

Well? What happened? The curiosity is killing me!

[Tasha]

Update

She just left, and I will write more in a little bit because I have got to cook dinner and it's already so late. But I will say that tears were shed (hers) and that I wound up terminating her. And I feel such tremendous relief right now. I'll come back later with the details if you're interested!

[sharlan]

definitely interested

[lovemykidstoo]

She just left, and I will write more in a little bit because I have got to cook dinner and it's already so late. But I will say that tears were shed (hers) and that I wound up terminating her. And I feel such tremendous relief right now. I'll come back later with the details if you're interested!

Oh my gosh that is quite a cliffhanger!! Please come back

[Thriftylady]

Oh my gosh that is quite a cliffhanger!! Please come back

Yes, sounds like you had to stand your ground. I always love good stand your ground stories because I struggle with it so.

[Tasha]

I'm sorry for the delay! They're having dinner without me because after this experience I have no appetite at all.
Basically, she just came in and I asked her what she wanted to talk about. So she says, I'm sorry I sent you that email.
I just looked at her, and she says, well, do you accept my apology? So I told her that of course I believe that she's sorry she sent that email, it's embarrassing, who wouldn't be sorry for that screwup? But that I don't hear her apologizing for calling me a bitch, or for saying that I have a smug face, or for saying that I enjoyed charging her a late fee. She says, well, that's what I meant. I'm sorry for writing that stuff because I didn't really mean it.
I told her I appreciated her coming over and saying it to my face, but that I think our professional relationship was now untenable. You can't un-ring that bell. She burst into tears, and asked me if I was letting them go. I told her yes because I didn't think I could get past the disrespect shown in that letter. That I understood that people need to let off steam, but that she knew full well that I had been patient with her showing up late, and that I didn't deserve to be called a bitch on wheels, especially after keeping her child on a day I already had off. She started trying to play on my affection for her kid, asking me if I was even going to miss him... I just said it had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with the deterioration of our relationship.
She just kept talking about how much she appreciated me, how upset DCB was going to be, how annoyed her husband is with her, and to please give her another chance, blah blah. She was really upset.