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It is also possible he told her it was someone else and she turned it into him saying it was your child? He might have been trying to tell her that someone was doing this and depending on her reaction he probably just blurted out the first person that came to mind type of thing.
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Although uncomfortable and a bit odd, its only not normal to the logical mind.
Its normal at the preschool age just like biting for toddlers. Not acceptable but not not normal.
I have a 3.7 yr old DCB thatwatches and plays some pretty awful tv/video games with his dad (who doesn't do much "adulting") and some of the statments and comments he makes are very similar.
Most of what he says is for shock value and/or to get a rise out of others but still not okay language and not at all true stories.... last week his other dad let him get a tattoo on his butt
- he doesnt have another dad nor does he have a tattoo on his butt....not even a temporary one.
I think the need to out-do, out-shine and/or be more shocking or more outrageous than others has become a cultural normfor many.
Normally, if something is a liability I would term but Id have to reconsider or really think about it if I knew the family well and if I knew the parents were honestly trying to work with me...kwim?Comment
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I agree with everyone else. I wouldn't be able to deal with the liability. I would have mom sign something saying we discussed it and then write up a term for later.Comment
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I personally disagree and although you may think it is normal I personally have never heard a preschooler say anything even remotely close to what the OP is saying this child has said in all of my 10+ years of working with kids. I mean a tattoo on a butt is vastly different than saying someone pulled down their pants and licked them. Unless the kid is being exposed to **** at home...which is also child abuse.Although uncomfortable and a bit odd, its only not normal to the logical mind. Its normal at the preschool age just like biting for toddlers. Not acceptable but not not normalComment
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I don't mean "normal" as in okay or acceptable.
I mean normal as in it's normal for kids to say things that are odd, shocking and/or really out there in left field.
I have worked with kids for a little over 25 years and although I haven't heard a lot of kids say that type of thing I have had a child say someone licked a private area or touched or something similar. It's not always meant in the same context as our adult minds think it is or interpreted the way the child meant it but I have heard similar things.
Im not saying the OP should disregard the thought that he may very well be being abused in some way or exposed to something inappropriate but I still say that ALL signs do not point to just that conclusion.
I learned a long time ago that not only are there 3 sides to every story (mine, yours and the truth) but when dealing with kids there are often times more than one definition of every word/fact in every story.
That was my point.Comment
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Ok, I get this explanation on your thought process a little better.
IMHO, any part of describing an act of oral sex is not "normal" for a toddler, preschooler, or early elementary age child.
Specifically in the OP situation: associating licking and naked skin in the genital region would not be considered developmentally appropriate conversation and should be examined further. Hopefully by someone other than the business owner (again, in my own opinion).
The content of what this child is describing is just too complex to be considered grandstanding for shock value.Comment
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I would approach dcm and express concerns over the context of his statements. That you are worried that he's seen/heard something somewhere.
Was he accusing your son or another dck?
My child = gone immediately
Another dck = I would approach as laundrymom suggested, giving a time frame for it to stop and refusal to continue care if it continues
Although I'd be really tempted to get the signed note of acknowledgement and term.Comment
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This sounds vaguely familiar. I can't get into detail but it has happened at one of the centers I worked a few years ago .Comment
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I've seen this quite a few times in centers. Each time it happens, I write a behavioral incident report about it for the child. Parent signs it at pickup. IF it ends up being an abuse investigation, the investigators may end up using those reports to try to figure things out. Also, (at least here) it can show licensing that you were aware of the situation and handled it if any parents send in complaints.
Then the child becomes my shadow. I don't shadow them; they shadow me. I do my job as I normally would and they have to stay close to me. They can play, but only near me. I work in a center and if I get bumped to another classroom, I will even take them with me if there's room in the other room.
If there are continued incidents after they get a written behavioral plan (which usually happens after the second incident), then they get sent home.
I'm with BC. That doesn't make me automatically assume abuse. I've seen and heard worse from preschool children before. Does DCB have any other behavior issues or anything else that could point toward abuse?Fast forward to story time. I am cleaning up the table from lunch and overhear dck say to dcg "Pull your pants down so I can see your underwear." and dcg say "NO GROSS! Miss ___________!"Comment
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I have decided to term effective immediately.
The child wont back down. The mother has confirmed via text and email that she knows he is lying. He is acting quite smug as he sits smiling at me telling me (without prompting) that his mother thinks I am lying and (dck's he is accusing) will be in so much trouble. Not to mention the steps I had to take to ensure the safety of the other children in my program are well beyond what I am willing to do long term. I will NEVER again trust this child.Comment
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I think you did the only thing you could do.Comment
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:hug
aycarediva, I would terminate as well. I had a child accuse me of locking them in the bathroom and we have no lock on the bathroom:confused: Anyway, she came the next day but when I called licensing she told me to document the child came back but then terminate immediately which I did. She said since the parent brought the child back that would benefit me. The parent never turned me in but it does still scare me sometimes to think about it! Good luck! 
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