2.9 Year Old Problem Child Ran Away

[NightOwl]

As some of you know, I had a misunderstanding here on the forum last year. I was very much a newbie to the forum, but I was hung out to dry and was made an example of. I had been here all of 4 months and was basically ostracized as a liar and banned from this forum for a week because of a simple "newbie" mistake I made. Yet this woman can LOSE A HUMAN BEING and she's getting pats on the back for comfort? I find that to utterly unbelievable.

Two corrections: this was not the child's first escape attempt. Op said that she had made it as far as the driveway in the past. The driveway where cars drive. Also, the op is no newbie in this business. She never said how long she'd been working with kids. She's new to this forum, but that's it. I wish I would've been given the same consideration as this poster, especially considering that my mistake was trivial compared to hers. So if the veterans are going to offer sage advice and kind words of wisdom to help fix mistakes made by the newbies here, I'm wondering why that doesn't apply to everyone. But I digress....

And sugar and playcare, I'm behind you 100%. This op needs a serious wake up call about the shortcomings at her center, not a gentle pat on the back. She's lucky she wasn't reported and shut down, at least not yet anyway.

[Blackcat31]

As some of you know, I had a misunderstanding here on the forum last year. I was very much a newbie to the forum, but I was hung out to dry and was made an example of. I had been here all of 4 months and was basically ostracized as a liar and banned from this forum for a week because of a simple "newbie" mistake I made. Yet this woman can LOSE A HUMAN BEING and she's getting pats on the back for comfort? I find that to utterly unbelievable.

Two corrections: this was not the child's first escape attempt. Op said that she had made it as far as the driveway in the past. The driveway where cars drive. Also, the op is no newbie in this business. She never said how long she'd been working with kids. She's new to this forum, but that's it. I wish I would've been given the same consideration as this poster, especially considering that my mistake was trivial compared to hers. So if the veterans are going to offer sage advice and kind words of wisdom to help fix mistakes made by the newbies here, I'm wondering why that doesn't apply to everyone. But I digress....

And sugar and playcare, I'm behind you 100%. This op needs a serious wake up call about the shortcomings at her center, not a gentle pat on the back. She's lucky she wasn't reported and shut down, at least not yet anyway.

I would hardly classify the two situations as being even remotely similar

[Blackcat31]

Also, the op is no newbie in this business. She never said how long she'd been working with kids. She's new to this forum, but that's it.

How do you know that?

I did a little looking back BEFORE I jumped to conclusions and saw that yes, she IS new to managing a child care.

[Sugar Magnolia]

But I think as a veteran provider, it's our responsibility to get as many details as we can before passing judgment.

Saying it wouldn't have happened at your center isn't at all helpful as I bet MV thought the same thing. I think that's a pretty bold statement to make and one that "says" to those it has or almost has happened to that they are somehow less than or not good providers. I think those kinds of statements can be very hurtful.

I think as veteran providers our first instinct is should be to help and support newish providers before we pass down judgment or opinions.

We've all been new at this. We've all learned things the hard way. Some lessons harder than others and some A LOT more important than others but we were still all NEW and unexperienced at one point.

Also, if you click on OPs profile you can see she has NOT logged in since 7/27...5 hours after she posted so again, we don't know if she read or didn't read anything beyond that.

Yep, it's a bold statement, and I stand by it. I have alarmed doors.I have a keypad entry. I have motion detectors on windows with sills below 3 feet. I have a secured latch on my gate that can only be opened from the outside, by an adult. My play yard is fully fenced and inspected daily. I even have a mirror mounted behind my shed so I can see back there at all times. I paid a lot of money for security upgrades. We are in a city center, so we take safety seriously. A child getting out a door would be on a ciry street, where there are buses, traffic from a major high school, a Ford dealership, a grocery store, a city park..... so yes, VERY serious business securing the facility properly.

Most importantly, my husband and I provide direct supervision. There are always two of us, 100 percent of the time. Sure, I prepare the lunches, we take bathroom breaks, he empties the trash. But nobody leaves a direct supervisory role without the other being aware and all children are accounted for and are within direct eyesight. We are the operators, the owners, the everything, so of course we protect our livelihood by making sure we follow ALL rules concerning direct supervision.

Am I saying all this to make some providers who had a close call feel bad? No. Am I saying this because I'm smug I've never "lost" a child? No. Hardly. I say these things in hopes it reaches someone who googles "safety precautions for daycare centers ". I didn't set out to hurt the OP's feelings. I cared about the safety of the child, not about my popularity here.

[Sugar Magnolia]

You are correct but in some cases, stating things as unregistered can be MORE beneficial than posting under a user name as many of us already have preconceived notions or experiences with certain members and I would hate to have something I said be taken out of context or my point missed simply because I was the one that said it. kwim?

There are many times on this forum that I see advice given and no one pays much attention but then a veteran provider comes along and says the same thing and everyone suddenly takes what "veteran provider" said as the best advice ever..... as if no one else mentioned it at all.

No, I do not know what you mean. No disrespect, I value your opinions and hard work as an admin and advisor here. I simply don't agree. And I agree with you a vast majority of the time. I see little value in posting unregistered. My opinion.

[NightOwl]

How do you know that?

I did a little looking back BEFORE I jumped to conclusions and saw that yes, she IS new to managing a child care.

Nowhere in her post did she indicate that she was new to childcare. But even being new doesn't excuse a lack of supervision. That's the backbone of this business, keeping the kids safe.

[NightOwl]

No, I do not know what you mean. No disrespect, I value your opinions and hard work as an admin and advisor here. I simply don't agree. And I agree with you a vast majority of the time. I see little value in posting unregistered. My opinion.

Posting unregistered, if you are a registered member and just don't want your name attached to your statement, is a cowardly thing to do. If you're gonna say it, you should claim it, imho. Even if your statement is an unpopular one.

[Thriftylady]

Posting unregistered, if you are a registered member and just don't want your name attached to your statement, is a cowardly thing to do. If you're gonna say it, you should claim it, imho. Even if your statement is an unpopular one.

I agree with you and yet I don't. Some things are sensitive so people want to remain anon. I get that. I myself put more weight on a post when someone says "registered poster but want to be anon for privacy". My main issue is that many of the unregistered seem to just want to stir up trouble and watch the pot boil. That I find cowardly.

[Blackcat31]

Yep, it's a bold statement, and I stand by it. I have alarmed doors.I have a keypad entry. I have motion detectors on windows with sills below 3 feet. I have a secured latch on my gate that can only be opened from the outside, by an adult. My play yard is fully fenced and inspected daily. I even have a mirror mounted behind my shed so I can see back there at all times. I paid a lot of money for security upgrades. We are in a city center, so we take safety seriously. A child getting out a door would be on a ciry street, where there are buses, traffic from a major high school, a Ford dealership, a grocery store, a city park..... so yes, VERY serious business securing the facility properly.

Most importantly, my husband and I provide direct supervision. There are always two of us, 100 percent of the time. Sure, I prepare the lunches, we take bathroom breaks, he empties the trash. But nobody leaves a direct supervisory role without the other being aware and all children are accounted for and are within direct eyesight. We are the operators, the owners, the everything, so of course we protect our livelihood by making sure we follow ALL rules concerning direct supervision.

Am I saying all this to make some providers who had a close call feel bad? No. Am I saying this because I'm smug I've never "lost" a child? No. Hardly. I say these things in hopes it reaches someone who googles "safety precautions for daycare centers ". I didn't set out to hurt the OP's feelings. I cared about the safety of the child, not about my popularity here.

Im glad you have that confidence.
Its not common in my experience and I tend to be hyper aware of the possibility that things can happen no matter how safe I think I am. I am human and therefore dont feel its my right to gurantee something like that. I do the best I can and learn as the years go on and I gain experience, hindsight and knowledge. But I wont guarantee anything 100% other than to give and do my best.

No, I do not know what you mean. No disrespect, I value your opinions and hard work as an admin and advisor here. I simply don't agree. And I agree with you a vast majority of the time. I see little value in posting unregistered. My opinion.

I wasn't asking you to agree. I was sharing a different viewpoint
Different perspectives are what make the world go round.

I dont take it personal.

As for posting as unregistered?
The same comments above apply.

Sugar~ I sincerely do not mean any of my comments as snarky or rude.
That is not my intention at all. We all feel strongly about things and I respect your/my/everyone's right to do so.

[NightOwl]

I agree with you and yet I don't. Some things are sensitive so people want to remain anon. I get that. I myself put more weight on a post when someone says "registered poster but want to be anon for privacy". My main issue is that many of the unregistered seem to just want to stir up trouble and watch the pot boil. That I find cowardly.

That's what I mean thrifty. The pot stirrers. The ones who post unregistered so they can say hateful things without the backlash.

[Missqjulie]

The mother responded like that because she's not surprised. The child almost sounds Autistic from your description...

[Unregistered]

I rarely term, but I'm in agreement with the majority here. The biggest red flag for me here is that the parent is not concerned. The parent SHOULD be up in arms about this. Her child was missing for 20 minutes. So much could have happened.

It concerns me a lot that parent was so lax about it. My last parent that was so lax about her "runaway" turned out to be an accomplice. When I worked for a center, I had a parent who was coaching her child to run away from school. The short version of the very sad story is that mom was hoping the child would get injured so she could sue. Her plan was discovered by staff and the mom was turned in to protective services.

I would not keep a runner unless parents were concerned and 100% on board with working on it. There is so much risk involved. There are strategies for prevention, and eliminating the behavior. If parents agree to work on it, you can message me for more information.

Some parents only see dollar signs. Something like that happened when I used to work at a hs. The mom also told the child to run into the kitchen, because her mother (the grandmother of the child) worked there. The child was moved to another hs and the grandmother was fired.