2.9 Year Old Problem Child Ran Away

[Ambrocia]

I need advice. I've a 2 year 9 month girl in care who is giving my staff and me lots of concerns. First of all this child runs off any chance she can get. She figured out how to open the gate in the yard and runs away. She has never gotten beyond the driveway because my staff is very alert to her behavior. However, Friday she got out when a mom dropped off kids and left the gate open. I had 4 staff in the yard and no one saw her escape. She was gone for 20 mins before I found her in a neighbors yard playing with a dog. I almost had a heart attack. We've NEVER lost a kid. We've never had a kid try to run away. Our playground is awesome and fun but this kid loves to run.

When we told mom she just laughed and told us that she does this at home all the time. Once went in to a neighbors house and was playing in the neighbors kids rooms. No one was home only way they found her was because front door was open. She just didn't seem concerned her kid was missing for 20 mins.

We've thought about locking the gate but feel this is unsafe to lock everyone in basically a cage with a padlock. I'm not sure what else to do to assure she never escapes again. Short of just leashing her to a staff member.

Also, recently she's started freaking, hysterical every time we change her diaper and have to wipe her bottom. She screams, "owie owie" and it basically takes two of us to hold her down to get poo out. She also won't let us use an ear thermometer to check her temp.

She's only been in our care 2 months so we thought things would get better and she would clue into the routine. She's pretty non-verbal and just doesn't listen at all. She runs around the room all day. She never just sits and plays with toys. She's such a sweetie and loves hugs and snuggles. We don't want to give up on her but at what point do you? We've worked on learning the word STOP but she still isn't getting it. I just am afraid she's going to get lose again.

[Blackcat31]

I need advice. I've a 2 year 9 month girl in care who is giving my staff and me lots of concerns. First of all this child runs off any chance she can get. She figured out how to open the gate in the yard and runs away. She has never gotten beyond the driveway because my staff is very alert to her behavior. However, Friday she got out when a mom dropped off kids and left the gate open. I had 4 staff in the yard and no one saw her escape. She was gone for 20 mins before I found her in a neighbors yard playing with a dog. I almost had a heart attack. We've NEVER lost a kid. We've never had a kid try to run away. Our playground is awesome and fun but this kid loves to run.

When we told mom she just laughed and told us that she does this at home all the time. Once went in to a neighbors house and was playing in the neighbors kids rooms. No one was home only way they found her was because front door was open. She just didn't seem concerned her kid was missing for 20 mins.

We've thought about locking the gate but feel this is unsafe to lock everyone in basically a cage with a padlock. I'm not sure what else to do to assure she never escapes again. Short of just leashing her to a staff member.

Also, recently she's started freaking, hysterical every time we change her diaper and have to wipe her bottom. She screams, "owie owie" and it basically takes two of us to hold her down to get poo out. She also won't let us use an ear thermometer to check her temp.

She's only been in our care 2 months so we thought things would get better and she would clue into the routine. She's pretty non-verbal and just doesn't listen at all. She runs around the room all day. She never just sits and plays with toys. She's such a sweetie and loves hugs and snuggles. We don't want to give up on her but at what point do you? We've worked on learning the word STOP but she still isn't getting it. I just am afraid she's going to get lose again.

I'm sorry but I have no other advice other than to terminate services for this child.

WAY too many risks involved in caring for her and the fact that mom laughs about it.. No way. I simply would not be willing to put that much time and effort into a child when the parent isn't willing to do anything to support or advise you in regards to her child.

[Thriftylady]

I would term also. WAY to much liability. Mom will not be laughing when she gets out and gets hit by a car, bit by a dog, etc. Mom will be suing you and the state will shut you down. Terminate NOW. The money you are making on her is not worth what it will cost you.

[Heidi]

I'm sorry but I have no other advice other than to terminate services for this child.

WAY too many risks involved in caring for her and the fact that mom laughs about it.. No way. I simply would not be willing to put that much time and effort into a child when the parent isn't willing to do anything to support or advise you in regards to her child.

agreed!

Unfortunately, this child is a huge liability for your business. Please be sure to document, document.

I WOULD put a padlock on the gate, though. Parents should come in through the building, not through the gate. It's not a "jail", it's a playground full of toys.

As for the "owie, owie", she should be seen by a doctor, perhaps. Maybe she has an infection? I'd insist on a doctor's visit if you do keep her.

[Crystal]

When she was missing for so long, how did you handle it? Did you call 911? Has this been reported to your licensing analyst if you are licensed?

20 minutes is a LONG time to be missing without calling emergency services, IMO.

You say Mom laughed it off, but I can almost guarantee that when/if you decide to term services, she won't be laughing anymore and will likely contact the appropriate authorities to report it (licensing or whomever oversees child care services). Best to be one step ahead and self-report it.

[CraftyMom]

When she was missing for so long, how did you handle it? Did you call 911? Has this been reported to your licensing analyst if you are licensed?

20 minutes is a LONG time to be missing without calling emergency services, IMO.

You say Mom laughed it off, but I can almost guarantee that when/if you decide to term services, she won't be laughing anymore and will likely contact the appropriate authorities to report it (licensing or whomever oversees child care services). Best to be one step ahead and self-report it.

Absolutely! A LOT can happen in 20 minutes. I would not even hesitate at this point to put a lock on that gate if you keep her. Me personally I would be DONE. This could cost you your career. One child is not worth losing everything for. It WILL happen again, the second you take your eyes off her, and the next time could be worse

[daycare]

what i can see that really bothers me is the mothers response.

NO way would I be ok with a parent having that reaction and i would have termed on the spot.

I once had a child spit on one of my staff face. Child was 4. I called immediately for pick up an when the dad came, dad thought it was no big deal and dck does it all the time.

NO FREAKING WAY! if you and a parent are not on the same page no matter what the issue is, it's never going to work out.

Mom should have taken this seriously and it should have been reported to the mother that it is so serious that you have to report it to licensing.

The pure fact that the child has this issue is one thing, but the fact that the mom is not on the same page about keeping her child safe while in your care is just the final straw.

I would term now before this child hurts herself or brings a friend along with her for one of her disappearing acts.

[Rockgirl]

I'd definitely term this one. I would also install a latch that is out of children's reach on the gate. It shouldn't be easy enough for a child to operate so quickly that no one notices.

[daycare]

I'd definitely term this one. I would also install a latch that is out of children's reach on the gate. It shouldn't be easy enough for a child to operate so quickly that no one notices.

I agree, but what about your fire clearance? Here in my state I would not be able to do that. Can't trap kids into any area. They must be able to get out on their own.. Scary thought, but that's why you need parents to support the rules in your program.

[spedmommy4]

I rarely term, but I'm in agreement with the majority here. The biggest red flag for me here is that the parent is not concerned. The parent SHOULD be up in arms about this. Her child was missing for 20 minutes. So much could have happened.

It concerns me a lot that parent was so lax about it. My last parent that was so lax about her "runaway" turned out to be an accomplice. When I worked for a center, I had a parent who was coaching her child to run away from school. The short version of the very sad story is that mom was hoping the child would get injured so she could sue. Her plan was discovered by staff and the mom was turned in to protective services.

I would not keep a runner unless parents were concerned and 100% on board with working on it. There is so much risk involved. There are strategies for prevention, and eliminating the behavior. If parents agree to work on it, you can message me for more information.

[Rockgirl]

I agree, but what about your fire clearance? Here in my state I would not be able to do that. Can't trap kids into any area. They must be able to get out on their own.. Scary thought, but that's why you need parents to support the rules in your program.

Yes, I can see that, in states that have that rule.

[daycare]

this reminds me of MV's post about her missing child....Oh dear old that is a scary thought.

Maybe OP you should read that so you too can really understand the seriousness of this matter. I am sure you already understand, but this might get you to light that fire to term. Let me find it so I can share with you the thread of another member that had a child go missing from her daycare.

[Sugar Magnolia]

this reminds me of MV's post about her missing child....Oh dear old that is a scary thought.

Maybe OP you should read that so you too can really understand the seriousness of this matter. I am sure you already understand, but this might get you to light that fire to term. Let me find it so I can share with you the thread of another member that had a child go missing from her daycare.

Yes this. OP, you really should pm MV for advice on the s@@t storm that is likely coming your way from licensing. I'm sorry this happened to you.

20 minutes is an insanely LONG TIME to not notice a child is missing.
Fix your gate immediately. Not tomorrow, right now. Install a new latch. Get a contact alarm on the gate and all doors.

I'm not so sure I'd rush to terminate the child. Yes, she is a liability, but honestly, your staff's failure to notice she was gone and your lack of security is a bigger liability. I'd be inclined to terminare the staff involved as well.

[Unregistered]

I am more concerned with the fact that a child was able to get away and for 20 MINUTES!! That’s ridiculous and a huge fail on the daycare’s part! I just do not quite believe that was the mother’s reaction, however, it very well could’ve been. Most certainly would not have been mine. I would’ve termed myself right then, called licensing, and put a review about it on any site that asks for a review on that daycare. Again, that is just ridiculous! -It is coming off (to me) as if it is being made the parent’s or child’s fault that she ran away, it is 100% the staff’s fault. If a child can get away like that and for that long then OBVIOUSLY no one is watching her as they should be.
There are lots of child proof latches, door knobs, etc out there that can and should be used, for reasons such as this.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I rarely term, but I'm in agreement with the majority here. The biggest red flag for me here is that the parent is not concerned. The parent SHOULD be up in arms about this. Her child was missing for 20 minutes. So much could have happened.

It concerns me a lot that parent was so lax about it. My last parent that was so lax about her "runaway" turned out to be an accomplice. When I worked for a center, I had a parent who was coaching her child to run away from school. The short version of the very sad story is that mom was hoping the child would get injured so she could sue. Her plan was discovered by staff and the mom was turned in to protective services.

I would not keep a runner unless parents were concerned and 100% on board with working on it. There is so much risk involved. There are strategies for prevention, and eliminating the behavior. If parents agree to work on it, you can message me for more information.

I'm not really buying that the mom "laughed it off". I'd flip out. Who wouldn't? Seriously! "Oh your child was lost for 20 minutes"........I can't envision inserting a casual motherly laugh here. Doesn't compute.