What is Wrong with Kids These Days!!?

[Hunni Bee]

I logged out because I KNOW that what I am about to say is controversial. I believe the biggest problem is that we, as parents, no longer spank our children. By no means am I suggesting a beating or anything, but a quick swat on the bum or slap on the hand would definitely show the child who is boss. I have 2 of my own children, who are very well behaved because they know what the consequences will be if they don't. To be clear, they barely ever get a spank or anything, but I personally feel that because we did this in their early years, it helped to clarify who is the authority figure and to respect their elders.

From a daycare stand point, obviously I would NEVER to this (as I would never allow anyone else to do it to my kids), but I think that it would definitely help with the behaviours and attitudes of kids these days. My dc parents who do spank or slap hands have children that are very well behaved, happy and listen to adults. The ones who don't, well, they are the children that we are always complaining about on here.

This is just my opinion and I know exactly what is coming (ie/ hitting a child for hitting doesn't make sense, you are scaring a child into complying, etc). But these issues weren't AS common 30+ years ago. Just thought I would put it out there.

I agree, and you said it very well.

[renlenfel]

Having cinform me from that generation, "logged out", I understand what you are saying, and I'm not going to go into the spanking discussion ::

But I think it went downhill FROM there, if you know what I mean. Went frombelievepanking' to 'never saying no'.
It's the 'never saying no' and never setting any kind of boundary that is the problem, in my (honestly humble) opinion.

And I do think that the parents who cannot ever allow their child to ever cry for any reason, also comes from progression.

I have had two sets of parents inform me this year that they do not want their child to be told no. It has been a challenge for me to constantly find ways to avoid those "no-no" situations with toddlers. I'm constantly moving furniture around. I do believe the atmosphere should be as positive as possible but i think its healthy for little ones to know there are boundries and learn to respect them.

[SignMeUp]

Originally Posted by SignMeUp View Post
Having cinform me from that generation, "logged out", I understand what you are saying, and I'm not going to go into the spanking discussion

But I think it went downhill FROM there, if you know what I mean. Went frombelievepanking' to 'never saying no'.
It's the 'never saying no' and never setting any kind of boundary that is the problem, in my (honestly humble) opinion.

And I do think that the parents who cannot ever allow their child to ever cry for any reason, also comes from progression. I have had two sets of parents inform me this year that they do not want their child to be told no. It has been a challenge for me to constantly find ways to avoid those "no-no" situations with toddlers. I'm constantly moving furniture around. I do believe the atmosphere should be as positive as possible but i think its healthy for little ones to know there are boundries and learn to respect them.

What happened to what I said:confused: Because I don't type like that ::

[Bookworm]

I was talking about this three to another coworker this morning and she said something that I never thought about. She used to teach Elem. school (1st and 2nd grade) and she noticed their of the parents were older. She said around mid 30's-mid 40's. She noticed that most of the behavior problems were the children of these older parents. The term she uses was "Grandparent Parenting". She described it as people who waited late in life to have children, for whatever reason, and parent them by being over-indulgent and permissive because this is their super extra-special miracle baby. They spoil and cater to every whim to make their baby happy and expect you to do the same. No discipline is allowed in the classroom. She said meetings with these parents were the most frustrating for her because she couldn't get them to understand that Timmy can't read/write because he can't do what he wants to do first. And because he can't do what he wants, he won't do anything. Of course this is all her fault for not letting him do whatever he wants.

I found this interesting and thought I'd share her thoughts, with her permission.

[Josiegirl]

I find this whole thread appalling. They are KIDS. Not mini adults. I think y'all need to relax a bit and remember when you were kids. Not to mention how young some of these kids are. They don't have impulse control. Sure you can beat them into submission with spanking and shaming but the world doesn't need more angry people. Seriously this thread makes me sad for every single child that's in your care. Kids need more love, compassion and empathy. That's what's missing.

Wow, now *that's* harsh. Providers come to this forum and speak from frustration within the job they do, thanklessly, day after day, trying to meet the challenges of each and every child in just the right way. We are underpaid, overworked, unappreciated, spend so much of our off-time living and breathing childcare. Most times we have no other place to go and vent, beg for advice, commiserate. It's an exhausting and draining job in which we re-invest a lot of our income, lose personal family time, tolerate dcps who don't respect what we do, all while trying to guide their challenging children towards growing into a loving, kind and respectable child, sometimes with no help from the parent. Many times we come here and say things or 'let it all out' so the teapot doesn't overflow.
Why do so many of us stick it out? Because we actually care about the children and what we're doing, we want to see better for these kids than spitting on people, hitting their peers, using terrible language, etc.
We are not an abusive bunch. Being honest here, I form a bond with 95% of the kids here but having been in this biz 30+ years there were a few during that time that I couldn't wait for them to leave due to their behavior. I've termed twice for a child's bad behavior. BUT if I didn't have a forum such as this to VENT on, I A) would've pulled all my hair out B) quit years ago C) been a terrible provider. Please let people come here to share their feelings and do NOT judge them.

[sariejohnston]

You are right they are kids, they don't have i plus control but at the same time when parents allow their child to misbehave without consequences they will treat other adults the same way! I love all students that walk in my classroom, but when other students are in danger because another child is acting in a dangerous manner, or they are purposely disobeying then there needs to be consequences taking place. Not just in the classroom, but I do expect parents to reinforce consequences at home for their behaviour at school, when parents do not the child will believe its okay to behave in such a manner. On aside note I am a firm believer in spanking I can tell a huge difference in children who are spanked and those who are not, if I were a parent you better believe I would spank my child if he or she treated his/her teacher like that! I am offended by you saying you feel sorry for our children in our classroom. no one said they didn't love their students and want to provided the best care possible, they simply said parents need to be consistent in punishment rather it be spanking or whatever. -Sariejohnston

[Cat Herder]

Wow, now *that's* harsh. Providers come to this forum and speak from frustration within the job they do, thanklessly, day after day, trying to meet the challenges of each and every child in just the right way. We are underpaid, overworked, unappreciated, spend so much of our off-time living and breathing childcare. Most times we have no other place to go and vent, beg for advice, commiserate. It's an exhausting and draining job in which we re-invest a lot of our income, lose personal family time, tolerate dcps who don't respect what we do, all while trying to guide their challenging children towards growing into a loving, kind and respectable child, sometimes with no help from the parent. Many times we come here and say things or 'let it all out' so the teapot doesn't overflow.
Why do so many of us stick it out? Because we actually care about the children and what we're doing, we want to see better for these kids than spitting on people, hitting their peers, using terrible language, etc.
We are not an abusive bunch. Being honest here, I form a bond with 95% of the kids here but having been in this biz 30+ years there were a few during that time that I couldn't wait for them to leave due to their behavior. I've termed twice for a child's bad behavior. BUT if I didn't have a forum such as this to VENT on, I A) would've pulled all my hair out B) quit years ago C) been a terrible provider. Please let people come here to share their feelings and do NOT judge them.

No worries. Just put her on your ignore list...

You know who she is, now...

[Josiegirl]

Haha Catherder, I can't put anyone on ignore. I'm afraid I might miss something.

[Blackcat31]

Haha Catherder, I can't put anyone on ignore. I'm afraid I might miss something.

LOL! :: ::

[AngelsMommy]

I think parents these days raise their kids to be happy, not respectful. They want to be liked by their children and don't discipline the way we were disciplined. They give in to the children because its easier and don't realize they are creating a disaster, especially for care providers!!

[SignMeUp]

I think parents these days raise their kids to be happy, not respectful. They want to be liked by their children and don't discipline the way we were disciplined. They give in to the children because its easier and don't realize they are creating a disaster, especially for care providers!!

Especially for their children, IMO. The world is tough enough once you are an adult, without having never been told "no" before

[AngelsMommy]

Especially for their children, IMO. The world is tough enough once you are an adult, without having never been told "no" before

Amen!!

[Unregistered]

I have had the worst behaviors so far this year....I had seriously considered not opening this year due to last year being so hard but after a long summer off, I was looking forward to the kids returning in the fall.

BUT, every year gets worse. Every year the behavior is more atrocious, most shocking, more intense.

Years ago when I spoke kids listened. They were afraid of being disciplined by an adult...now they think they are our equals. They laugh when I correct them and think that time out is a hilarious game.

I am at a loss. None of the methods I have always used in the past seem to affect kids anymore.

This morning I forgot to put away the box of cheese nip crackers that DH was eating on the couch last night. DCG asked if she could have some and I told her that she could not since they did not belong to us, they belonged to DH.
She proceeded to tell me how much she really likes them and I told her that maybe if she asked DH, he would let her have a few when he arrives. The box was about half full.

Anyway, I should have picked the box up and put it away but I had a potty run and dealt with that. Then I forgot about it. Throughout the morning I was running around trying to reorganize the toys and deal with a very cranky, miserable 3 year old.

When I finally picked up the box of crackers, there were 2 left!!! DCG had somehow eaten crackers throughout the whole morning without me even noticing!! When I scolded her, she laughed. She thought it was hilarious.

Kids just don't care what adults think anymore.....am I the only one noticing this trend?

Well, at least it was only crackers.

You're right though, kids don't care what adults think. It isn't a new phenomenon. I have an adult child -- kids in his daycare would have reacted the same way, and then informed you that you CAN'T spank because the police would give you trouble.

[nannyde]

I have had two sets of parents inform me this year that they do not want their child to be told no. It has been a challenge for me to constantly find ways to avoid those "no-no" situations with toddlers. I'm constantly moving furniture around. I do believe the atmosphere should be as positive as possible but i think its healthy for little ones to know there are boundries and learn to respect them.

When a parent requests you to not say "no" say "no" to them.

They may leave but they will get the message that in real life a human is going to be told "no". They will walk out alive and well and figure out what to do after the "no" but they WILL have received a "no".