Something Flipped The Bitc# Switch!! HELP!

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • PitterPatter
    Advanced Daycare.com Member
    • Mar 2011
    • 1507

    Something Flipped The Bitc# Switch!! HELP!

    I have been doing so well after almost 9 years of daycare but a new child (4 yrs old) has my head spinning! Literally getting a migrane over this and I need some help please.

    So he is a new child enrolled just this week. Upon interview Mom said he had ADHD and ODD and was been kicked out of a large daycare for unruly behavior and the examples she gave me sounded usual and something I was able to cope with. First 2 days were fine. He had the usual push to a child here and there nothing abnormal. Had good manners, did as I asked basically. Today was good until I was cooking lunch. He smacked a 2 yr old in the face when I asked why he said because he didn't like him. I asked why he said because he's a baby. I sat him for time out and got the plates ready. uring lunch he was having some attitude and I ignored it. the more i ignored it the worse it got. He tore his food apart and threw it in the garbage. I warned him if he did that I would not give any more until snack. He was quiet and went to the living room. He tried to watch TV I said no TV today (sometimes I allow nickJR at nap time for kids who dont nap) He got mad and threw his cot. I told him to stop and he spit on me. I told him he is going to have to go home if he does it again so he did it again. He ran upstairs wouldnt get on the phone with his Mom. I told her we would try to work things out. I figured he would calm down and come down but instead I hear spitting. I look up and he is spitting down over the railing to the 1st floor. I ran up he shut the bathroom door. I pushed my way in and he kicked my heater across the room. I got him out but he is such a large child I couldnt get him down the stairs. I call DCM and shes on her way. I told him get his coat he has to leave. He yelled no bitch and threw my tree down the stairs. he started spitting over the railing again on to my picture frames and lamp etc. I have to get him down so I go up and try to pull him by his hand. He spit in my face and said shut up bitch! I yelled at him told him to STOP! he then said "Do you want me to smack you bitch?" I am almost in tears by this point I dont understand what the heck got into this kid. I get him downstairs and he goes spitting around the room on my sofa, on my dog, on the other child. I grab him to hold him and he spits down my arms and pinches my breast so I had to let go. Again he runs and spits on the sofa and the dog I get the dog out and guard the kids. I dont know what to do I am in shock and this kid is in control of my house! I want to put a bag over his head but know I cant. Finally his Mom comes and I think thank God. She tries to talk to him like a therapist no sorry to me. I told her everything that happened and she just said "Really Joseph lets go now" She pulled him out the door said she would call me later. What the hell happened here? What am I supposed to do with an extreme spitter??

    I have NEVER had a child flip a switch like this!! This isn't normal ADHD ODD issues this is like bipolar, devil possesion!
  • KSDC
    Daycare.com Member
    • Apr 2013
    • 382

    #2
    Personally, I would term. No way is DCM paying enough for me to deal with that kind of abuse.
    :hug:

    Comment

    • DaveA
      Daycare.com Member and Bladesmith
      • Jul 2014
      • 4245

      #3
      HOLY CRAP!!!!

      My phone call would be really short- "Find care somewhere else. He's not coming back here." If he does that right out of the gate it's not going to get better. I hate to think what his home behaviors are like or what he's modeling. The fact that you didn't even get a sorry from DCM makes me pretty sure this will repeat itself. Disconnect yourself from them ASAP.

      Comment

      • PitterPatter
        Advanced Daycare.com Member
        • Mar 2011
        • 1507

        #4
        She and her husband said they don't understand why he does this because he does not do these behaviors at home with them or his teenage siblings. My guess is he doesn't want them to leave him anywhere. I'm still in shock. DCM text said she would bring check but didnt ask if he was allowed back or anything just she will bring the weeks check. he's not scheduled again until next week so I don't know what's on her mind. I would be calling not texting and apologising abundantly! I dont know who shocks me more.

        Comment

        • melilley
          Daycare.com Member
          • Oct 2012
          • 5155

          #5
          OH MY!!!
          It takes a lot for me to term (well I haven't done it yet) and this would make me run! I would not do another day with that child, I don't care if mom apologizes or not. I am in shock that a 4 year old did all that.

          :hug:

          Comment

          • Play Care
            Daycare.com Member
            • Dec 2012
            • 6642

            #6
            Term. The writing is on the wall. Clearly mom downplayed the behavior so you would take him.

            But the day a child spits at me would be their last day here. They wouldn't even finish out the day.

            Comment

            • daycarediva
              Daycare.com Member
              • Jul 2012
              • 11698

              #7
              BUH BYE! I wouldn't even entertain working with that. It's obviously an ongoing concern. Mom needs a nanny, and a psych eval.

              Comment

              • melilley
                Daycare.com Member
                • Oct 2012
                • 5155

                #8
                Originally posted by PitterPatter
                She and her husband said they don't understand why he does this because he does not do these behaviors at home with them or his teenage siblings. My guess is he doesn't want them to leave him anywhere. I'm still in shock. DCM text said she would bring check but didnt ask if he was allowed back or anything just she will bring the weeks check. he's not scheduled again until next week so I don't know what's on her mind. I would be calling not texting and apologising abundantly! I dont know who shocks me more.
                Yeah right! If he doesn't do it at home, she would be apologizing profusely! It sounds like they are used to it.

                Comment

                • DaveA
                  Daycare.com Member and Bladesmith
                  • Jul 2014
                  • 4245

                  #9
                  Originally posted by PitterPatter
                  She and her husband said they don't understand why he does this because he does not do these behaviors at home with them or his teenage siblings. My guess is he doesn't want them to leave him anywhere. I'm still in shock. DCM text said she would bring check but didnt ask if he was allowed back or anything just she will bring the weeks check. he's not scheduled again until next week so I don't know what's on her mind. I would be calling not texting and apologising abundantly! I dont know who shocks me more.
                  I call BS on DCP- they've seen that crap before and don't want to admit it. She didn't ask because she doesn't want to bring it up & hopes you'll let it slide. If you're going to term, make sure are clear about it. If they're that much in denial they might take anything less as a "suggestion" and try to keep bringing him.

                  Comment

                  • daycarediva
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Jul 2012
                    • 11698

                    #10
                    Originally posted by PitterPatter
                    She and her husband said they don't understand why he does this because he does not do these behaviors at home with them or his teenage siblings. My guess is he doesn't want them to leave him anywhere. I'm still in shock. DCM text said she would bring check but didnt ask if he was allowed back or anything just she will bring the weeks check. he's not scheduled again until next week so I don't know what's on her mind. I would be calling not texting and apologising abundantly! I dont know who shocks me more.
                    Bologna.

                    They either downplay his behavior BIG TIME OR they cater to his every whim to prevent him from behaving like a demon possessed little monster.

                    Comment

                    • NightOwl
                      Advanced Daycare.com Member
                      • Mar 2014
                      • 2722

                      #11
                      Oohhhhhhh no, no, no, no, no. He has serious mental health issues that cannot be tolerated in group care. Buh bye. The only group care he needs is the one he'll get in a psychiatric facility. I feel terrible for the parents who are trying to deal with this little devil, but it is not appropriate to expose the other children to this kind of behavior and language. Send them packing.

                      Comment

                      • hope
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Feb 2013
                        • 1513

                        #12
                        Term. For the safety of the other children, for the safety of your dog, for this child's safety. He needs way more help than you can offer.

                        Comment

                        • Leigh
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Apr 2013
                          • 3814

                          #13
                          Originally posted by PitterPatter
                          I have been doing so well after almost 9 years of daycare but a new child (4 yrs old) has my head spinning! Literally getting a migrane over this and I need some help please.

                          So he is a new child enrolled just this week. Upon interview Mom said he had ADHD and ODD and was been kicked out of a large daycare for unruly behavior and the examples she gave me sounded usual and something I was able to cope with. First 2 days were fine. He had the usual push to a child here and there nothing abnormal. Had good manners, did as I asked basically. Today was good until I was cooking lunch. He smacked a 2 yr old in the face when I asked why he said because he didn't like him. I asked why he said because he's a baby. I sat him for time out and got the plates ready. uring lunch he was having some attitude and I ignored it. the more i ignored it the worse it got. He tore his food apart and threw it in the garbage. I warned him if he did that I would not give any more until snack. He was quiet and went to the living room. He tried to watch TV I said no TV today (sometimes I allow nickJR at nap time for kids who dont nap) He got mad and threw his cot. I told him to stop and he spit on me. I told him he is going to have to go home if he does it again so he did it again. He ran upstairs wouldnt get on the phone with his Mom. I told her we would try to work things out. I figured he would calm down and come down but instead I hear spitting. I look up and he is spitting down over the railing to the 1st floor. I ran up he shut the bathroom door. I pushed my way in and he kicked my heater across the room. I got him out but he is such a large child I couldnt get him down the stairs. I call DCM and shes on her way. I told him get his coat he has to leave. He yelled no bitch and threw my tree down the stairs. he started spitting over the railing again on to my picture frames and lamp etc. I have to get him down so I go up and try to pull him by his hand. He spit in my face and said shut up bitch! I yelled at him told him to STOP! he then said "Do you want me to smack you bitch?" I am almost in tears by this point I dont understand what the heck got into this kid. I get him downstairs and he goes spitting around the room on my sofa, on my dog, on the other child. I grab him to hold him and he spits down my arms and pinches my breast so I had to let go. Again he runs and spits on the sofa and the dog I get the dog out and guard the kids. I dont know what to do I am in shock and this kid is in control of my house! I want to put a bag over his head but know I cant. Finally his Mom comes and I think thank God. She tries to talk to him like a therapist no sorry to me. I told her everything that happened and she just said "Really Joseph lets go now" She pulled him out the door said she would call me later. What the hell happened here? What am I supposed to do with an extreme spitter??

                          I have NEVER had a child flip a switch like this!! This isn't normal ADHD ODD issues this is like bipolar, devil possesion!
                          Sounds exactly like the ADHD/ODD kids that I had. I'll NEVER, EVER, EVER take another ODD child. EEEEEEVER. Not at all worth it. Not even a little. Not for ANY amount of money.

                          Comment

                          • KiddieCahoots
                            FCC Educator
                            • Mar 2014
                            • 1349

                            #14
                            I'm sorry this happened to you.

                            Be done with that child today!

                            He is going to hurt somebody. And I say somebody instead of just children, cause he has targeted you too! If you are having difficulty getting him to stop hurting you, how are you going to get him to stop hurting the other children? With this kind of aggression, I don't think I would even want to incorporate an assistant to try and make it work, just an instant termination notice.

                            Comment

                            • NightOwl
                              Advanced Daycare.com Member
                              • Mar 2014
                              • 2722

                              #15
                              ODD is particularly hard because the usual treatment is behavior therapy, so basically counseling. There isn't a med for it, even though some add meds help to an extent. These children usually have no respect for authority, truly believe everything they request should be immediately given, and see themselves as being equal or superior to adults. So they lash out at anyone having the audacity to discipline them. This has been my experience, anyway, with 2 children with ODD. Their parents continue to struggle with them and they are now teenagers. It's been a constant, lifelong battle for them.

                              Comment

                              Working...