Would You Be Offended?

[Happily_wed]

I provide care for a cop and his family and have for 4 years and three kids now. He is by far the best daycare parent I have ever had! I was very nervous at first that he would be on my case about every little bump, etc. but he is very laid back, always thanking me for all that I do, etc.

I would be a little upset that they are now sending angry texts because you refused to take them on. You have to go with your instinct and do what you feel is right for your program.

I am going to throw this out just because I do have some experience with this. Remember that being a police officer is a hard job. They see the worst of and in people. They are on scene of child abuse, murders of children, sexual abuse of children, car accidents where children die, etc. Then they go home and look at their kids and thank God that they are ok. Daycare dad had to attend a training a few months back about child abuse. They showed some horrible slides, etc and it affected him. Before he even got home he sent me a message thanking me for all I do for his family and for always taking care of his kids.

Grilling someone in a mean way is not right. BUT maybe, just maybe he has been the responding officer where a small child was hurt or died due to being left in the care of a 12 year old. Maybe as a police officer he knows the importance of having an emergency plan and being able to get out of a fire or handle an emergency at the drop of a hat because he responded to a house fire where a child died due to no smoke detectors. I don't agree with him being abusive in his tone with you, etc but that is possibly the reason that he asks so many questions and seems to want reassurance of so many things.

I would not have been offended by the questions themselves. I am more put off when I get a parent who doesn't want to know anything or even come by my house before dropping the kids off for their first day. BUT his tone and just the general vibe you got from him would have probably put me off and made me turn them down.

[Blackcat31]

That's a deal breaker for me. I don't care what they call me, but not thinking what I do is an actual "job" or "work"? That's just disrespect and signs of bad things to come.

But to each their own! I like working with parents I get along with. Call me picky

I agree.....
For a working relationship to start off on the right foot, feel respect has to be a part of it, not just respect for $

Meh... what difference does it make?

I mean I don't necessarily have to respect a profession in order for me to be respectful.

The parent is purchasing my services. I have no right to dictate how they feel about the profession.... or whether or not they think it is a profession or not.

I have issues with a couple of my parent's professions but we can still have a productive and respectful relationship.

For example, I have a parent that works in a field that I do NOT believe in, support or think is a necessary profession in this world but that in NO WAY alters my role and what this parent is purchasing from me as a service provider.

I would never allow my personal feelings to affect the services I offer/sell.

There are several kinds of "get along with" as far as definitions go .
I can get along with most people pretty easily but it doesn't mean I agree with their thoughts and feelings or view the world in the same way they do.

In order for me to have a good working relationship with a client, all that I require is CLEAR communication about our expectations from each other and for each of us to fulfill those agreed upon expectations.

I am not in this field to educate clients about my "work" or to garner any type of respect from them about what I do.
I am in this business to make money and make a difference in a child's life.

My definition of respect via a parent is them abiding by the agreed upon policies and rules.

Call me a babysitter, child minder, child care provider, daycare lady, teacher, etc....I don't care.

I am far more concerned about a parent's child rearing philosophy than their opinions about professions.
I like to work with clients that share the same views as I do in regards to raising a child verses their views on careers.

I am far MORE picky about that aspect than anything else.

[Play Care]

I see the big problem as him not thinking she "works".

Exactly! Call me a babysitter, day care lady, teacher, whatever.
But telling someone that what they do ISN'T working is a whole different ball game, IMO.
Clearly the OP dodged a bullet here!

[Blackcat31]

Exactly! Call me a babysitter, day care lady, teacher, whatever.
But telling someone that what they do ISN'T working is a whole different ball game, IMO.
Clearly the OP dodged a bullet here!

Unless I missed it, I didn't see where the DCD said that.

He asked OP why she didn't go back to work after her kids went to school.

I don't see anything wrong with that.

We see/read posts here ALL the time from providers that say things like "going back to work" after my youngest goes to Kindy etc...

[renodeb]

I would Run!!!!!!!

[daycarediva]

ONE final text:

"Dcd, the space has been filled. Thank you for your interest in my program. Best of luck to you in your search for child care."

If he responds, I would reply with "I would appreciate that you not contact me again."

If he continues to contact you, I would call the POLICE. He's a cop, he should know better.

I am just about to enroll a cop's child in my program (state trooper, actually). I met him when another daycare provider stole my copyright information and called the cops on me. He has been on my waiting list since the night he came to 'warn' me. :: Very laid back guy but a no-nonsense type, which I like. No interrogation. ::

[christine19720]

Pass....

I don't even want to imagine what drop off and pick up would be like with this family everyday....

[midaycare]

Meh... what difference does it make?

I mean I don't necessarily have to respect a profession in order for me to be respectful.

The parent is purchasing my services. I have no right to dictate how they feel about the profession.... or whether or not they think it is a profession or not.

I have issues with a couple of my parent's professions but we can still have a productive and respectful relationship.

For example, I have a parent that works in a field that I do NOT believe in, support or think is a necessary profession in this world but that in NO WAY alters my role and what this parent is purchasing from me as a service provider.

I would never allow my personal feelings to affect the services I offer/sell.

There are several kinds of "get along with" as far as definitions go .
I can get along with most people pretty easily but it doesn't mean I agree with their thoughts and feelings or view the world in the same way they do.

In order for me to have a good working relationship with a client, all that I require is CLEAR communication about our expectations from each other and for each of us to fulfill those agreed upon expectations.

I am not in this field to educate clients about my "work" or to garner any type of respect from them about what I do.
I am in this business to make money and make a difference in a child's life.

My definition of respect via a parent is them abiding by the agreed upon policies and rules.

Call me a babysitter, child minder, child care provider, daycare lady, teacher, etc....I don't care.

I am far more concerned about a parent's child rearing philosophy than their opinions about professions.
I like to work with clients that share the same views as I do in regards to raising a child verses their views on careers.

I am far MORE picky about that aspect than anything else.

Exactly! Call me a babysitter, day care lady, teacher, whatever.
But telling someone that what they do ISN'T working is a whole different ball game, IMO.
Clearly the OP dodged a bullet here!

Eh ... I don't care what they think about my profession. Or if it's a profession. But I don't like the, "Why didn't you go back to work?" I do work. If a man, this man is particular, is acting in an interrogating manner, and is re-questioning me about the same things and THEN throws out that question? I'll pass.

If a nice couple asks me why I didn't go back to teaching or if I intend to go back to teaching (I've been asked this), no problem.

I take everything into consideration. I wouldn't throw a family out of consideration for that one comment, but the fact that he was interrogating her, too? That raises my red flags. I wasn't there, obviously.

I'm very picky about who "I" let attend here. I do the choosing, not the parents. And that is why (with the exception of my friend that I let her DS attend for the summer - never again) I have great parents. Always pay on time, pick up early a lot. Call and text all the time. Never bring sick kids. Have respect for me and I for them. But that is what I want in my daycare - a connection with families. More than someone handing over cash every week. They are a big part of the reason why I lovethis this job.

But I absolutely agree with you on what they call me and what they think of my profession - I could care less. I just ask for respect as a person.

[midaycare]

Pass....

I don't even want to imagine what drop off and pick up would be like with this family everyday....

Oh my word! I just had awful visions pass before my eyes... "What time did he eat? 9:45? Are you sure it wasn't 9:50? How do you know for sure? Can I see the dirty diapers? I want to know that you really changed him 5 times."

[Blackcat31]

Eh ... I don't care what they think about my profession. Or if it's a profession. But I don't like the, "Why didn't you go back to work?" I do work. If a man, this man is particular, is acting in an interrogating manner, and is re-questioning me about the same things and THEN throws out that question? I'll pass.

If a nice couple asks me why I didn't go back to teaching or if I intend to go back to teaching (I've been asked this), no problem.

I take everything into consideration. I wouldn't throw a family out of consideration for that one comment, but the fact that he was interrogating her, too? That raises my red flags. I wasn't there, obviously.

I'm very picky about who "I" let attend here. I do the choosing, not the parents. And that is why (with the exception of my friend that I let her DS attend for the summer - never again) I have great parents. Always pay on time, pick up early a lot. Call and text all the time. Never bring sick kids. Have respect for me and I for them. But that is what I want in my daycare - a connection with families. More than someone handing over cash every week. They are a big part of the reason why I lovethis this job.

But I absolutely agree with you on what they call me and what they think of my profession - I could care less. I just ask for respect as a person.

Let me preface this by saying I am NOT arguing with you...just carrying on a conversation due to differences in perception or interpretation.

You said you are VERY picky about who you allow to attend your care...

How do you know who is or isn't a good fit or worthy of attending your program?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I need some perspective. I just had an interview with a teacher and a state trooper and their six-week-old baby. (My first interview in five years.) Basically, I was just interrogated by a policeman for an hour. I was asked if my 12-year-old DD ever watched the kids. When I told him absolutely not, he kept rephrasing the question, "Let's say you had a really bad day...." He rephrased it three times. I was also asked why I didn't "go back to work" after my kids went to school. I said that I "work" fifty hours a week. (That one really struck a nerve.) Also, "Who comes through your house during the day?" "If a dck busts their head, what are you going to do with our baby, while you're helping the other kid?" Umm...is this a minor laceration or a near-decapitation scenario? Yell for my 12-year-old, of course. I dunno. I understand he's in that line of work, but I felt like a criminal the entire interview. All you recent interview experts, am I being too sensitive about this interview?

I am finding that those who work in criminal field are crazy psycho nuts when they interview. I just had a CPS worker and her husband who GRILLED ME for 90 minutes and I was a nervous wreck after feeling like I did something bad. I run a preschool with a pretty big group of kids and have a great reputation in my community for my program. Plus, I have never had ANY deficiencies. But, they interrogated me about everything...even things that didn't pertain to their child at all. My husband was sad that I let it go on for so long and honestly, so am I! Next time I will say, "This is CLEARLY not a good fit so I wish you the best of luck in your search."

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

The rescheduling 2 times is a red flag already. I have a family in care where dad is private investigator, but he didn't switch to that job until 6 months after starting here even though he had the degree. My main problem with that family is the unpredictable scheduling... I understand some of it because I use to work a similar career for years before I started in childcare, and thankfully he doesn't interrogate me, his wife though... OMG, talk about being overprotective

Yes, all rescheduled clients have been HUGE PITA's for me.

[midaycare]

Let me preface this by saying I am NOT arguing with you...just carrying on a conversation due to differences in perception or interpretation.

You said you are VERY picky about who you allow to attend your care...

How do you know who is or isn't a good fit or worthy of attending your program?

I know you are not arguing

I wasn't given many gifts here on this planet, but one of them is "reading" people. Nothing weird or psychic. But I get bad feelings off of some people, and the warm fuzzies from others. In a different life before daycare and teaching, I was a hr consultant and interviewed people for companies. I did really well and everyone was always happy with the people I picked. It's a gift. Now I have many things that are not gifts ... Autoimmune issues, terrible at directions, horrible at math, and the list goes on and on ...

My protocol for interviewing is simply to show the parent around and tell them about the program. I lead the interview and they can ask questions when I am done. I'm not rude and I don't say that, I just take control of the situation.

I listen to what the parents say very carefully. What are their concerns? Only money? I'll pass. Do they ask about naptime, what we eat, do they have concerns about their LO? Are they concerned about silly things? Are they asking me if they come 30 minutes late will I still feed their child breakfast? As we are talking I read all body language. I ask where they work, to hear about their schedule, any concerns about previous daycares.

I can usually get a great idea from talking and body language. It's nothing fancy. My gut just gives me a "heck yes" or a "run Forrest, run!"

[KidGrind]

We all have an opportunity to do what is right for us.

I find it extremely hilarious that a potential client would pay me not to work. If I were asked why I didn’t go back to work. I am not privy to the details of the interview. I will share if a client asked me that I would say, “I decided to shift gears, start a daycare and be the boss of me.”



I am in this business for the MOOLAH!
I care about the kids.
They are actually one of my passions in my life.
I am still in it for the MOOLAH!

[christine19720]

I am finding that those who work in criminal field are crazy psycho nuts when they interview. I just had a CPS worker and her husband who GRILLED ME for 90 minutes and I was a nervous wreck after feeling like I did something bad. I run a preschool with a pretty big group of kids and have a great reputation in my community for my program. Plus, I have never had ANY deficiencies. But, they interrogated me about everything...even things that didn't pertain to their child at all. My husband was sad that I let it go on for so long and honestly, so am I! Next time I will say, "This is CLEARLY not a good fit so I wish you the best of luck in your search."

Call it what they will, but I seem to think if it makes you uncomfortable the interrogating turns to bullying very quickly. I won't have that.....