Is There Anything I Can Say - or Just Keep Ignoring It

[missnikki]

I haven't said anything yet, just reading this...
Nannyde, I can appreciate the thoughtfulness with which you speak on this forum, you are well-spoken despite your lack of popularity. That is commendable.
With all due respect, not to throw another wrench in it... I respectfully decline to see the draw in sending my kid to your robot farm. It seems like you have total domination and control over there, and I was wondering...who's got the kids while you type, or are you THAT good?

[Blackcat31]

I have been reading these posts and learning from all, but I do have a question for you Nannyde...what happens to the kids when they leave your care? It seems as though you have changed the world (environment) for them and "trained" them to abide by your rules and theories, but what happens when they go off to school and find out that the real world works nothing like the environment they just spent the last 5 or 6 years in? What happens when they interact with kids who are behaving as most normal kids do? What happens when you do not come quickly and "right the world" for them? They have no social skills....they may have all the correct social skills to survive in your environment, but what about skills for the real world with real kids? I respect your methods and ways you do things because it has obviously been a VERY successful thing for you...you have the enrollment and past years experience as proof....However, I am just wondering how these practices apply in the real world for the kids...do they go through a type of de-programming so they can function outside of your care?
Honestly, if your methods work, you should seriously consider becoming a childcare mentor and tour the country teaching providers how to make this happen in their childcares...because I have been doing childcare for over 17 years and if I had one day, just one day where there wasn't some type of conflict between kids or between kids and their parents I would consider that a good day...heck, even a miracle!

[DCMom]

How do the kids you watch adjust once they leave your care and start school and are suddenly surrounded by kids their own age? They aren't rotated out, they are with the same kids all the day through! Also suddenly they are seeing all sorts of new behaviors, vocab and things you refer to as violence and didn't put up with, just wondering how they all adjust?

This is what I was wondering. It all works great within the confines of your daycare, but what about out in the great melting pot called kindergarten where they are going to interact with kids who were raised differently? Do they have the skills to cope?

[BentleysBands]

wow!

i dont buy any of it BUT if it works in your head i say go for it!

sounds like you must have THE only perfect parents as well. I have NEVER in my 24yrs EVER had a child not bit, hit, push, throw tantrums, etc....its normal child behavior.

Nor do i understand why you do not let children be children with their OWN ages. That just baffles me. thats how they learn.

[DBug]

Well, just to make things interesting, from what I've heard of Nannyde's philosophy, I would love to send my kids to her . I don't agree with everything she's said, but I do like the "no violence" philosophy. And if she can make it work, more power to her! I would love to know that my kids were being watched that carefully, and that the chances of other kids attacking them were close to none. And, I would love for them to be learning the verbal skills that I'm assuming she probably teaches them as well (ie. using words instead of hands to get someone to stop bugging you).

In our school, these are characteristics that the school board insists on in children. The anti-bullying curriculum is all about using your words and getting help from a grown-up, instead of fighting back physically. I've tried to teach my kids the same ideals since they were born, and if I had to send them to daycare, I would much rather have a provider with a similar method!

[marniewon]

Well, just to make things interesting, from what I've heard of Nannyde's philosophy, I would love to send my kids to her . I don't agree with everything she's said, but I do like the "no violence" philosophy. And if she can make it work, more power to her! I would love to know that my kids were being watched that carefully, and that the chances of other kids attacking them were close to none. And, I would love for them to be learning the verbal skills that I'm assuming she probably teaches them as well (ie. using words instead of hands to get someone to stop bugging you).

In our school, these are characteristics that the school board insists on in children. The anti-bullying curriculum is all about using your words and getting help from a grown-up, instead of fighting back physically. I've tried to teach my kids the same ideals since they were born, and if I had to send them to daycare, I would much rather have a provider with a similar method!

I completely agree. Just this morning I had a 1yo smack the 2yo for absolutely no other reason than he was "there". And then a 3 1/2yo usually non-violent dcb used a plastic toy to hit the 2yo in the face. I was right there both times! And it didn't even phase either of these children! At this point I would do about anything for a harmonious, violence-free daycare!

So...Nannyde - what do you do about screamers/whiners and non-nappers?

[DancingQueen]

In our school, these are characteristics that the school board insists on in children. The anti-bullying curriculum is all about using your words and getting help from a grown-up, instead of fighting back physically. I've tried to teach my kids the same ideals since they were born, and if I had to send them to daycare, I would much rather have a provider with a similar method!

I use the same philosophy. I don't allow hitting, pushing or any of those things. They are not only discouraged but the children in my care will receive a consquence for them and I discuss with parents. I encourage using words over actions always. I help them find the words they need. When they grunt or push I help them use their words - they don't get things by yelling or crying or grunting. I teach manners and expect them to be used. I encourage respect for everyone and everything in my home and out of my home. I teach sharing and understanding. I help the older kids to understand that the younger kids are little kids but not to relinquish anything to them just because they are little. We share and take turns. But in everything that I teach and expect there are always situations during the learning process where a child makes the wrong choice. My job is to help them learn the right way to express themselves. I don't like the implications made that anything other than nans way is teaching or allowing violence.
I find it idiotic.

If I have an 18 month old that hits another child (even a 4 year old <gasp>) I try to figure out what caused the hitting to begin with. Generally it is a lack of ability to communicate. I help them find the words they need in order to avoid hitting in the future.. but it takes time and understanding.

I think if I separated my kids in groups of say 1 18 month old with 1 four year old. I'd still end up with squabbles because the 18 month old is looking for instant gratification and I don't believe the 4 year old should give in to the 18 month old every time. I think if they did there would never be hitting - but I think that 18 month old is old enough to learn about waiting their turn. While learning to wait their turn they get frustrated and can occasionally hit or yell or shove or try to simply TAKE from the 4 year old. That doesn't make them violent! That makes them a 18 month old that hasn't yet learned or is still in the process of learning their words and the concept of sharing.

[DancingQueen]

I wanted to add that on your website there is clearly a little girl wearing a barret and a little boy wearing TIE shoes

[BentleysBands]

I wanted to add that on your website there is clearly a little girl wearing a barret and a little boy wearing TIE shoes

oooo i wanna see , what is it?::

[Lucy]

I use the same philosophy. I don't allow hitting, pushing or any of those things. They are not only discouraged but the children in my care will receive a consquence for them and I discuss with parents. I encourage using words over actions always. I help them find the words they need. When they grunt or push I help them use their words - they don't get things by yelling or crying or grunting. I teach manners and expect them to be used. I encourage respect for everyone and everything in my home and out of my home. I teach sharing and understanding. I help the older kids to understand that the younger kids are little kids but not to relinquish anything to them just because they are little. We share and take turns. But in everything that I teach and expect there are always situations during the learning process where a child makes the wrong choice. My job is to help them learn the right way to express themselves. I don't like the implications made that anything other than nans way is teaching or allowing violence.
I find it idiotic.

If I have an 18 month old that hits another child (even a 4 year old <gasp>) I try to figure out what caused the hitting to begin with. Generally it is a lack of ability to communicate. I help them find the words they need in order to avoid hitting in the future.. but it takes time and understanding.

I think if I separated my kids in groups of say 1 18 month old with 1 four year old. I'd still end up with squabbles because the 18 month old is looking for instant gratification and I don't believe the 4 year old should give in to the 18 month old every time. I think if they did there would never be hitting - but I think that 18 month old is old enough to learn about waiting their turn. While learning to wait their turn they get frustrated and can occasionally hit or yell or shove or try to simply TAKE from the 4 year old. That doesn't make them violent! That makes them a 18 month old that hasn't yet learned or is still in the process of learning their words and the concept of sharing.

Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lucy]

oooo i wanna see , what is it?::

I won't flat out give out the website, but copy & paste (into your search window) a portion of her policies she had in a post on page 1, and it will come up.

I'm sorry. I wasn't going to make comments, but you say you keep parents away from other children and they are not allowed to observe your daycare in action. How, then, can they be "guaranteed to feel good about their day care choice." ? And how can they be sure that "Leaving your child with Nan ensures your child will spend their day in a safe, loving, and fun filled environment." ? How do they know what goes on if they don't witness it?

Also, identity is so secret, and parents can't even lay eyes on any of the other children, but yet their pictures are on the World Wide Web.

Again, you've taken this so well and I commend you, but I just cannot fathom your philosophies. Sorry!

[nannyde]

I wanted to add that on your website there is clearly a little girl wearing a barret and a little boy wearing TIE shoes

little girl wearing a barret: barbie accessory

little boy wearing TIE shoes: Outdoors ties are fine.

[nannyde]

oooo i wanna see , what is it?::

https://www.nanshouse.com

[nannyde]

I won't flat out give out the website, but copy & paste (into your search window) a portion of her policies she had in a post on page 1, and it will come up.

I'm sorry. I wasn't going to make comments, but you say you keep parents away from other children and they are not allowed to observe your daycare in action. How, then, can they be "guaranteed to feel good about their day care choice." ? And how can they be sure that "Leaving your child with Nan ensures your child will spend their day in a safe, loving, and fun filled environment." ? How do they know what goes on if they don't witness it?

Also, identity is so secret, and parents can't even lay eyes on any of the other children, but yet their pictures are on the World Wide Web.

Again, you've taken this so well and I commend you, but I just cannot fathom your philosophies. Sorry!

identity is so secret what does that mean? Where did you see me say that?

parents can't even lay eyes on any of the other children You made that up. I didn't say that anywhere.

Again, you've taken this so well and I commend you, but I just cannot fathom your philosophies. Taken WHAT so well? I don't know what you mean.

[nannyde]

I haven't said anything yet, just reading this...
Nannyde, I can appreciate the thoughtfulness with which you speak on this forum, you are well-spoken despite your lack of popularity. That is commendable.
With all due respect, not to throw another wrench in it... I respectfully decline to see the draw in sending my kid to your robot farm. It seems like you have total domination and control over there, and I was wondering...who's got the kids while you type, or are you THAT good?

robot farm ::

Now that is funny