My Husband Was Arrested-OMG I Need Help!

[melilley]

I'm sure it must be difficult to put on a smile and go about your day as if nothing is wrong. You are a trooper!
A bit of advice. ....I would call the facility that DH is in to see what is going on. It seems like a very long time to be held for a dui. He may need more assistance from you but is ashamed and not want to involve you any more. Best of luck. He is lucky to have such a caring wife behind him.

I was thinking of the same thing, just didn't want to say it. It more than likely has to be for something else or maybe it's not his first one?

[hope]

I don't think it is right for any of us to speculate as to what happened. I only gave advice bc he really may need some help right now and OP may not realize it. It is her business to question, not ours. Hope I didn't come off as judgmental. I only wanted to help.

[sleepinghart]

I agree. Maybe it depends on the state but here you are not held overnight for a DUI. Your given an appearance ticket unless there was more going on at the time of arrest that he's ashamed to tell you or scared to let you down?

(unregistered quote) "..but they held him for 24 hours for misorderly conduct"(end quote)


~This is probably why he is being held longer...the disorderly conduct charge I'm thinking.

[Unregistered]

owner

OK, so we live a very normal, "straight" life. No criminal records for us AT ALL. My husband was away on business and I got a call from him from JAIL this morning. So, first of all he flew out yesterday and called me when he landed and he was arrested about an hour after I spoke to him. He said he wasn't drunk, but apparently he had an open container in his car (I've never seen him with an open container in his car ever and he wouldn't talk about it on the jail phone since it was recorded). He had a very important meeting to go to today at work. He is an executive at his company, so I called up his assistant and told her what was going on so she could let his boss know after trying to call his boss.

He said that he actually thinks they will drop all of the charges and said that the officer was acting "unreasonably" but they held him for 24 hours for misorderly conduct. I'm not sure if they got him on a DUI, but I am thinking so. He did mention he had a couple drinks on the plane.

I'm freaking out about a lot of things right now. Do you guys think this will affect my license? I feel like my great life that I thought I knew just got turned upside down.

I'm a regular member, but I logged out for privacy.

Bothing will happen..I was charged in 2008 for a DUI and a rollover and I killed a tree. Since it was my first offense I paid the fine, did the class, lost my Drivers license for 30 days and got the charged expunged..I'm in Pennsylvania

[Unregistered]

owner

Nothing will happen..I was charged in 2008 for a DUI and a rollover and I killed a tree. Since it was my first offense I paid the fine, did the class, lost my Drivers license for 30 days and got the charged expunged..I'm in Pennsylvania..

Just make sure he pays the fine and talk to a lawyer

[crazydaycarelady]

First off - deep breath! You can't change what is done so try and be calm.

I don't think it will affect your license. YOU didn't do anything wrong. Maybe he won't be able to drive with kids or be a sub caregiver but I am sure that is all.

[hgonzalez]

I actually knew of someone who was a licensed provider with the same issue. They just had to guarantee that the husband would never transport children.
Hopefully that is the only way it will affect your license. Sorry that this happened to you and your family....

[Mister Sir Husband]

I'm thinking the dui would be only if he took a breathalyzer and didn't pass. The open container itself should just be a fine, and the disorderly conduct is a separate deal as he prolly didn't feel it was necessary to actually be arrested and the cop felt he was being difficult. I also highly doubt your license is in any danger.

I also wouldn't worry about the circumstances behind the open container until you talk to him again. I don't do this either, but .. well.. there was one time. I lived 5 miles up a long curvy back road with no traffic. I had a rotten day at work, so I grabbed a 12 pack, got in my truck and drove home.. opening 1 before I got there. 2 curves from my house a front right tire blew out, spinning me into a ditch. I put it in 4wd, dumped the clutch and drove the 100 yards or so home. Now if a cop had been around.. well.. I would have been screwed as upon impact with the ditch, my mostly full beer sprayed the entire inside of my truck and myself, so even though I really wasn't drunk I would have had a hard time explaining it.

[Mister Sir Husband]

I know also in NY anyways, you don't actually have to be driving to get a dwi or dui. If your simply sitting in your car with the keys in sight you can be arrested. Happened to me as well one time I was going to my car to get a pack of cigarettes, beer in hand, and the cop in the parking lot was insistent that I had intended to drive and was going to take me in.

[melilley]

I know also in NY anyways, you don't actually have to be driving to get a dwi or dui. If your simply sitting in your car with the keys in sight you can be arrested. Happened to me as well one time I was going to my car to get a pack of cigarettes, beer in hand, and the cop in the parking lot was insistent that I had intended to drive and was going to take me in.

Happened an old co-workers son. He was drinking at his apt. and decided to sit in his truck to smoke and got arrested because he was sitting in the truck and had been drinking-from what he said anyways.

[Blackcat31]

I know also in NY anyways, you don't actually have to be driving to get a dwi or dui. If your simply sitting in your car with the keys in sight you can be arrested. Happened to me as well one time I was going to my car to get a pack of cigarettes, beer in hand, and the cop in the parking lot was insistent that I had intended to drive and was going to take me in.

Happened to my dad. He was sitting in the car. Keys in his pocket. He was actually just sleeping it off BEFORE he was going anywhere (don't ask...my dad is a different kind of fella...live kinda like a nomad since retiring) and a police officer noticed him and then ticketed him for DWI.

He was parked in the parking lot of a strip mall (the restaurant where he was drinking was part of the strip mall).

[TwinKristi]

Yeah an open container is only a ticket, it's the same type of moving violation as a speeding ticket. And even if no one could come get him, there's always bail bondsmen who can get you out ASAP. Like within hours. Disorderly conduct I don't know though... Maybe if they got him for assaulting a police officer or resisting arrest? But even disorderly conduct isn't something they hold you for days on.

[Unregistered]

Well, it seems that we have a bigger issue on our hands. He lied about the DUI and the open container. He was arrested for answering an ad for a prostitute. It was a police sting. Yup. My husband was trying to pick up a prostitute. I am besides myself. I feel numb, in a fog, like I will soon wake up from this nightmare. I actually called the jail myself to find out what the actual charge was for. When he got out and called me, I pressured him to tell me what really happened and he told me. He said he did it before about a year ago as well. I couldn't even ask him anymore questions. Do I have more questions? Yes. Do I want the answers? I have no idea. What do I do? Besides being tested, obviously. He was crying and said this is so humiliating and he will never ever do it again, ever and he will do anything and that it isnt me, its him and now all of the sudden he tells me he was molested when he was a kid and in that moment. I didn't care what happened to him when he was a kid. It wasn't a good enough excuse for me. He is always so sentimental with me and so sensitive and this is not something I expected from him AT ALL. We have a very good life and are intimate very regularly, probably more so than the majority of married spouses. I know for sure this does not have to do with me. I don't mean that to sound caulky, but I am a really good wife. I am younger than him, I take care of myself, I'm attractive, I am very kind and caring, I did not deserve this.

I can't even believe that I don't feel the instant need to divorce him. Am I crazy? I don't know what to think. I had my on call employee come over today and told her that I wasn't feeling well so I could have her watch the kids and I can relax in my room for a while. I just couldn't feel happy and cheerful for the kids today. I have nobody to talk to in my real life. I don't feel like I can tell anyone.

[blessed mom]

I am so sorry. If you do not feel the immediate need to divorce him...DON'T! If he wants to fight for your marriage, make him prove it. How? Give you ALL his passwords to all emails and devices. Put a filter on your computer to track websites he visits. When he is out of town...call him...random...and he needs to happily accept that. Marriage is worth fighting for when both are fighting for it.

[Unregistered]

I honestly was going to guess that the minute you said he didn't want to discuss it and didn't go into more detail.So sorry,you should probably go get yourself tested for a disease. I guarantee this was not a once or twice kind of deal.My thoughts-disgusting! Move on! I believe in saving marriages but I would be too humiliated to continue and you are right-it has nothing to do with you personally.Even if you were fat and didn't take care of yourself and only had sex once a month.That is not an excuse to pick up a prostitute!