Daycare Mom Breastfeeding At Your Daycare Home?

[nannyde]

Do you cover up a bottle fed baby's face?

No I don't.

[cheerfuldom]

Do you cover up a bottle fed baby's face?

No I dont.

But I still stand by my statement that it is okay for a particular provider to set some boundaries about breastfeeding in their home. What works for my home and what I allow may be different than someone else's daycare and that is okay. I dont personally believe that bottle feeding and breast feeding are the exact same thing or affect others the same way. That is what I believe. While I do feel that this thread is an important discussion, I also feel that we providers need to support one other and refrain from bulling others online to feel the exact same way as that is not cool. I am not saying necessarily that Twin is bullying, but I am feeling that this is yet another thread where a few strong minded people take over the thread and cannot agree to disagree.

[nannyde]

I am sorry, but this story is just rediculous. I pity your son because he doesn't understand what breasts are for. Did you hide his face and bottle under a blanket when ou fed him? No? Then you are discriminating against breastfeeding women and making them out to be doing something wrong. Are you also going to avoid discussions about sex, birth control, drugs and alcohol? This would have been the perfect time to talk about how and why people feed their babies in particular manners and to encourage him to support breastfeeding. And why the heck should she have asked if it was ok to nurse or alerted you to it? Did you ask if you could eat from your plate of food?

Well we agree that it was just rediculous. I thank you for having pity on my son because he doesn't understand what breasts are for. It shows you have a bit more feeling towards him than she did. I would have been very grateful for her to show the pity a total stranger on the internet shows when she was with my total stranger twelve year old son in real life.

Are you also going to avoid discussions about sex, birth control, drugs and alcohol?

No I won't avoid these discussions but I will get into these discussions when I feel he is ready. I'm his mother and I know him really well. I know the right time to have serious talks about life, death, education, community, personal rights, freedom etc. I feel very comfortable with how I have managed it so far. When something is relevant to his life or our life then we discuss it with age appropriate consideration and with full understanding that he is being raised to be an upstanding, caring, compasionate, and balanced adult.

This would have been the perfect time to talk about how and why people feed their babies in particular manners and to encourage him to support breastfeeding.

Naw. Breastfeeding isn't an issue I would want to educate him on unless he showed an interest in it. It's not an issue that is relevant in any aspect of his life. It doesn't matter if he grows to support it, not support it, or has indiference to it all together. There are many causes in life that he may decide are valuable to his own life but the chances of this one being one of them is highly unlikely. Possibly when he's a full grown adult and has his own children he may show an interest in the issue. Who knows. As a pre-teen it isn't important to his life. He's interested in legos, battery operated cars, minecraft, and sleepovers with his friends on his Christmas break. Right now he's fashioned a grappling hook from his playmobil set and is going around the house picking up stuff like my tv remote and my can of pop.

What WAS important to discuss was how some people will blindside him, take advantage of their position, and will pursue their own agenda despite how it makes him feel and without consideration of what he needs or wants. Discussing how THAT feels is relevant to his life.

And why the heck should she have asked if it was ok to nurse or alerted you to it

I didn't suggest she should have asked if it was ok to nurse. What I said was that she should have forewarned me that she was about to pull her shirt up and expose her entire breast three feet away from my twelve year old son a couple of minutes into eating Thanksgiving dinner. She should have given us the option to opt out BEFORE she lifted her shirt. She should have taken into consideration that there was a twelve year old boy sitting three feet from her who might be uncomfortable seeing a forty year old womans breast close up and in full view.

I don't care why she was going to lift her shirt and expose her breast. It wouldn't have mattered to me or my son that she was going to "feed" her child or she wanted some fresh air. Her reason for doing it didn't affect my child. Exposing her naked breast to him did.

She didn't have her "rights" threatened. She got to do exactly what she wanted to do exactly when she wanted to. Nothing was said to her. Nothing happened. She could have had whatever real estate in the house she wanted.. the Thanksgiving table.. the dining room...... the living room... whatever she wanted. A few words in advance would have solved the entire thing. A quick "I'm going to breast feed my son" would have completely solved the entire thing. Seven words said in three seconds and I would have had the chance to make my own mind up of whether to stay or go.

If I would have even THOUGHT that an adult woman at the table was going to lift up her shirt and expose her breast three feet from my kid I wouldn't have even attended the dinner. I would have flown into town in the evening and started our visit when she was done exercising her rights.

What she did was so inapropriate and selfish. Her toddlers rights and her rights don't supercede my rights or my kids rights. It was indecent, rude, and selfish. A few words to communicate her intent and a little consideration would have met everyones needs so the holiday meal could be enjoyed by everyone and her rights remain intact.

There's going to come a day and it will be soon enough that the in your face public breast feeding cause is going to backfire. The shock value of exposing the breast to the public while feeding is going to wear off. When it does it's going to be an open invitation to have the public PARTICIPATE by not allowing a moments peace during the public feedings. It will start with the teenagers and work it's way up to young adults and eventually by adults who have nefarious interests. Breast feeding in public without cover is going to be an open invitation to the public to come see about little johnny while his mama is feeding. The issue won't be "public awareness" for too much longer. Nearly everyone over the age of twelve has a cell phone camera, the internet, and an opinion.

They will "see" your fully exposed breast and "raise" you a good.... long look..... real..... close..... up...... in your personal eighteen inches of space. They will bombard you with questions and give their opinion while your baby is feeding. They will video tape you and put you up on youtube and facebook. They will use the zoom on the camera when they tape. They will come up with their own captions and comentary and do their own editing. They will use your baby's image however they want whenever they want. The possibilities are endless. If you are going to go public know the public is going to go public too. They will be able to exercise their rights when you are exercising yours. Be careful what you wish for for you shall surely get it.

[Hunni Bee]

While I do feel that this thread is an important discussion, I also feel that we providers need to support one other and refrain from bulling others online to feel the exact same way as that is not cool. I am not saying necessarily that Twin is bullying, but I am feeling that this is yet another thread where a few strong minded people take over the thread and cannot agree to disagree.

I agree. And to me, it is bullying. Many threads lately have gone down this same road, and honestly, its off-putting. This is a board where people supported each other, although not necessarily agreeing on everything. But to go into every other thread and see people (many who are new members) berating and dressing down other members because they feel differently about something....really ****s.

[snips&snails]

They will "see" your fully exposed breast and "raise" you a good.... long look..... real..... close..... up...... in your personal eighteen inches of space. They will bombard you with questions and give their opinion while your baby is feeding. They will video tape you and put you up on youtube and facebook. They will use the zoom on the camera when they tape. They will come up with their own captions and comentary and do their own editing. They will use your baby's image however they want whenever they want. The possibilities are endless. If you are going to go public know the public is going to go public too. They will be able to exercise their rights when you are exercising yours. Be careful what you wish for for you shall surely get it.

I disagree - public breastfeeding is much more accepted in many countries & does not face these issues.

I will say that I would never have nursed my child in that situation with a child of that age next to me, as the teen years are a touchy age developmentally, I imagine it would be very uncomfortable for a child of that age. I can understand that in a mixed, up close & personal group of strangers/semi strangers that it could have been handled more diplomatically Of course if I sensed people were uncomfortable I probably would have launched into an informational chat too .
However I do think that it was a GREAT opportunity to discuss non-sexual uses of private parts of the body - a calm brief discussion can be very beneficial in such situations in removing the awkwardness. Our society soves breasts & sexuality in our children's faces non-stop - we can't always choose the event but we can seize those teachable moments!Also I feel it is not unreasonable that a male might hold an opinion about how his children are nourished - I hope we all encourage our boys to be involved fathers

[Patches]

Ok, here's my two cents. (or three or four)
First of all, I think we cal ALL agree that breasfeeding = good. We, as adults, understand what is going on when we see a baby nursing. HOWEVER, a lot of children don't understand what's happening when they see that and in my opinion, it is not appropriate to openly nurse your baby(as in not covered) in a room of children that are not yours while the parents are not there to have a chance to remove the child from the situation(should they wish to do so) or even explain to them what is going on (if that's what they wanted).

Second, I personally would be very incomfortable with a mom going into my bedroom to breastfeed. My bedroom is my personal space. I would let her nurse in the playroom as long as she was covered if there were other kids around.

Third, I exclusively breast fed both my kids until they were 6 months old and there were VERY FEW times I found the NEED arise to nurse in public. But, when I did, I covered up. One time I did have to breast feed my son at the home daycare he went to. I can't remember the exact circumstances of the situation but I would feed hom every morning before we left the house except that morning, for some reason, I couldn't or he wouldn't or something. So when I got to his daycare (at 6:30 am- no other kids besides the providers) I asked her if it was ok if I fed him. She said yes, went to kitchen to make breakfast. I was in the room by myself (except for my son) and I STILL covered up out of courtesy to her kids just in case they walked in the room. Even in my own home, if I had visitors over, I would go to my bedroom to nurse/pump. Why? That leads me to my #4....

My husband, my kids, and I are the only ones who need to see these things. I'm sorry but no matter how much you say "They are made to feed babies. That's what they're there for" Yes, that's right, but they're there for other reasons, too::

I know I went into a rant and I apologize for that. My point is, I think breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful thing and I believe in a mother's right to breastfeed in public but I also believe in a parent's right to choose when, how or if they expose their children to such a thing.

Also, as for covering a baby while bottle feeding. I get where you're coming from but, of course no one covers a baby while bottle feeding. Because unlike breasts, bottles only serve ONE purpose and are not viewed in any way, shape, or form as sexual.

Agree to disagree

[TheGoodLife]

Breastfeeding in Public

I stumbled upon this thread, which I know is old, but I also want to add my two cents I'm actually nursing my DD as I type, and I have gotten comfortable nursing in public as needed. It's the best thing, since I don't have to worry about trying to warm a bottle or so forth when out.
Nursing is natural and beautiful for family bonding. However, I also think it is a respect thing. If a person is discreet then they should be able to breastfeed anywhere. But it is just a matter of respect to try to find the most private place (NOT a bathroom or any other unsanitary place!!!) A breast can be for nutrition, can be sexual, but it is most definitely PRIVATE. I do not see a breast as "sexual," if I saw one flashed while someone was nursing I would be uncomfortable b/c that is a private body part. Just my opinion!

[wonderfullisa]

I, too, know that this is a very old thread, but it was recently linked.
I am extremely pro-breastfeeding. My nearly three year old still BFs to sleep for nap and bed, and usually first thing and the morning. If she injures herself, then she drinks more milk.
So far all of my dck's have been from breastfeeding mothers. I make it clear that I will be breastfeeding my daughter in front of their children. I've donated my milk to a couple different friends over the year.
Regarding putting up a video of me breastfeeding.. BTDT. It was called the evening news when my husband and I opened our own shop back when my daughter was first born. I've breastfed pretty much any place I've been. Restaurants, church service, funerals, weddings, wal-mart, the mall, the zoo, the park, MLB games, ... I think you get the picture. IfI've been there with my children, I've breastfed there.
I do not feed for shock value, despite what some think. I feed because it is what my child needs right then.
Some of the attitudes are ridiculous and I am left just shaking my head. Oh well.. can't please everyone.

[AmyKidsCo]

I'm very supportive of BFing mamas too and would definitely find a private place for someone to BF if they wanted to.

But it's YOUR business and YOUR house so you get to decide what you're comfortable with. That's the beauty of family child care!