Daycare Mom Breastfeeding At Your Daycare Home?

[MamaG]

OK I KNOW I am going to get blasted for this however before responding take a deep breath and understand this is just my opinion..........

I have 2 kids and didn't bf it just wasn't for me. I am all for the rights of woman to bf but I personally would feel uncomfortable for a Mother to be sitting in my home doing this. I don't want someone wandering into one of my personal rooms doing this so really their only option is on the couch in the middle of the playroom. Now that being said I have been put in this situation a few times with a prior Mom. She NEVER wanted to cover herself cause she liked making eye contact with her baby while this was going on. Which TOTALLY made me feel uncomfortable cause I felt like I needed to hold a conversation with this mother who's boob was just hanging out. Now obviously the other kids noticed and wanted to watch so not only and I freaking out and trying to keep myself composed but I am also trying to pry kids away from her and once a 2-3yr is focused it's impossible to get them to focus on something else! The 2nd time she did this in my home I had another Mother (who bf'ed) show up to pick up her child and was furious! Not that the mother was bf'ing but that she was doing it exposed to the kids, she didn't say anything at the time, her expression was worth enough. It was a disaster and all the med's in the world couldn't control my anxiety! After talking with the angry Mother later that night I decided to talk to the other parents that didn't know yet and they too were not happy. I too was not comfortable with the situation. Everyone said to have her cover-up, so the next day when I had a conversation with the bf'ing Mom she was furious that I told her she needed to cover up.............she told me about all the laws that protect her rights etc........... But the bottom line is this is MY house and in my personal house I am the law! I ended up letter her go cause in the end she refused to cover up, I couldn't pry the booby watchers away and I had 5 other families that were ready to walk!

You did the right thing. It's a novel idea that our bodies aren't 'sexual' why not show your vagina? It's for peeing or birthing babies after all right? And your butt? Is it not for bowel movements and sitting on? Get real people! Their are private areas, including boobs on a female, that should remain covered and seen only by her husband and kids. I would prefer my son see his first live boob as an adult. Not some chick flashing him in my house, or the mall. Cover yourself and find some other issue to fulfill your need for attention and drama.

[Play Care]

Do they swim in a tshirt? If not, you are still saying that women's breasts are a sexual object and not men's. it is really amazing to see how many day cares I would NOT send my children to based on these responses. I don't think people need to stay after hours but breasts are meant for food, not s*x. It is only within the last hundred years or so that our society has twisted and warped this view.

I just wanted to point out that yes, my husband does wear a shirt for swimming. As do most men/boys I know. Not because of their breasts, but because we take skin cancer prevention very seriously in our area.

[AnneCordelia]

You did the right thing. It's a novel idea that our bodies aren't 'sexual' why not show your vagina? It's for peeing or birthing babies after all right? And your butt? Is it not for bowel movements and sitting on? Get real people! Their are private areas, including boobs on a female, that should remain covered and seen only by her husband and kids. I would prefer my son see his first live boob as an adult. Not some chick flashing him in my house, or the mall. Cover yourself and find some other issue to fulfill your need for attention and drama.

Unless you know someone who eats sh*t, this is a poor analogy. I am all for covering up when in someone's private home, if that makes the home owner more comfortable, but that mother nursing in the mall? She's not flashing you, she is feeding her baby. And if you don't want your son to see that then keep him inside rather than infringe on that mothers right to feed her baby and the baby's right to be fed.

Its a self indulgent society indeed when someone's trivial sensibilities are put before feeding a baby. My babies didn't like to eat covered up...I don't like to eat with a blanket on my head either because food is a social function for humans too.

I love that people think a woman who nurses without a blanket over her baby's head is doing so for attention and drama. I'm sorry but those are your own insecurities coming out, not drama-seeking by the nursing mama. IME, women who nurse with a blanket draw more attention than women who nurse without a bulky cover. I'm sure all those nursing mamas are hoping for a big dramatic scene! Give me a break. This is nonsense.

[snips&snails]

The lives of nearly 900 babies would be saved each year, along with billions of dollars, if 90% of U.S. mothers breast-fed their babies for the first six months of life, a cost analysis says.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationwo...,2405524.story

This study came out 2 years ago - I remebered it because my son was still nursing at the time. The societal stigma is one of the biggest reason women do not breastfeed & feel uncomfortable about it. My child would never nurse with a blanket over his head when he was little - also we are told to keep blankets away from small babies faces but we are supposed to cover their heads when they eat? And should women be forced to stay inside until the child is weaned? As for pumping, I dont know how anyone does it, it's awful.
I understand that many people do feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding, but I also feel it is extremely selfish & childish to let one's own feelings of discomfort stand in the way of an infant's well being...
Seeing someone breastfeeding wont hurt children - maybe if they are exposed at a young age they wont have such a big issue about it as so many people seem to Maybe someday feeding a child the way nature intended instead of some processed crap will no longer be looked down on

[renodeb]

I have only ever had one mom who came around lunch time to bf. She just sat in the family room in one of the recliners. I just went on with the day. I would never let them go into my bedroom. I would say that if she wants to do it she needs to sit somewhere else (not in your bedroom). As long as the baby takes a bottle for me I dont really mind they come to bf as long as it doesnt run into nap time!
Deb

[Jessie]

I've offered my guest room to a nursing mom who had a very colicky baby who would start screaming as soon as she saw mom at pick up time. When I was nursing, my daughter wanted to eat NOW, and would be miserable and create a huge amount of stress until we could get set up to nurse. I figured, it mom could sit down and nurse for a few minutes, then we could have a normal conversation afterwards about how her baby's day had gone.

That being said, as the mother of an older child, I'd rather pack them up and nurse at home. Older babies and toddlers who aren't relying on breastmilk for nutrition, more for comfort, could probably wait until they get home. I'd still offer a space to nurse for a mom who wanted to though. If you're not comfortable offering up your room and the mom wants privacy, she could go in the kitchen while you're with the kids in another part of the house? Doesn't matter to me if she wants to sit and nurse while we chat, I just know some nursing moms want the private spaces.

[cheerfuldom]

OK I KNOW I am going to get blasted for this however before responding take a deep breath and understand this is just my opinion..........

I have 2 kids and didn't bf it just wasn't for me. I am all for the rights of woman to bf but I personally would feel uncomfortable for a Mother to be sitting in my home doing this. I don't want someone wandering into one of my personal rooms doing this so really their only option is on the couch in the middle of the playroom. Now that being said I have been put in this situation a few times with a prior Mom. She NEVER wanted to cover herself cause she liked making eye contact with her baby while this was going on. Which TOTALLY made me feel uncomfortable cause I felt like I needed to hold a conversation with this mother who's boob was just hanging out. Now obviously the other kids noticed and wanted to watch so not only and I freaking out and trying to keep myself composed but I am also trying to pry kids away from her and once a 2-3yr is focused it's impossible to get them to focus on something else! The 2nd time she did this in my home I had another Mother (who bf'ed) show up to pick up her child and was furious! Not that the mother was bf'ing but that she was doing it exposed to the kids, she didn't say anything at the time, her expression was worth enough. It was a disaster and all the med's in the world couldn't control my anxiety! After talking with the angry Mother later that night I decided to talk to the other parents that didn't know yet and they too were not happy. I too was not comfortable with the situation. Everyone said to have her cover-up, so the next day when I had a conversation with the bf'ing Mom she was furious that I told her she needed to cover up.............she told me about all the laws that protect her rights etc........... But the bottom line is this is MY house and in my personal house I am the law! I ended up letter her go cause in the end she refused to cover up, I couldn't pry the booby watchers away and I had 5 other families that were ready to walk!

I understand your situation, that must have been really hard. The thing that parents have to remember is that a good number of us here are legally unlicensed daycares, meaning this is a private residence and we are not required by law to follow breastfeeding legislation like an actually public place or business would have to. Anyone that is a licensed daycare, should double check with their licensing office to see what they are required by law to provide but again, the rules are different or non existent because a daycare is in a home. Everyone should double check but if there is no regulation you have to follow then it is well within your right to say, "hey this situation does not work for my daycare setup". That doesnt mean you are anti BFing. you didnt ask her to not BF. You asked her to cover and feed discreetly.

[cheerfuldom]

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationwo...,2405524.story

This study came out 2 years ago - I remebered it because my son was still nursing at the time. The societal stigma is one of the biggest reason women do not breastfeed & feel uncomfortable about it. My child would never nurse with a blanket over his head when he was little - also we are told to keep blankets away from small babies faces but we are supposed to cover their heads when they eat? And should women be forced to stay inside until the child is weaned? As for pumping, I dont know how anyone does it, it's awful.
I understand that many people do feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding, but I also feel it is extremely selfish & childish to let one's own feelings of discomfort stand in the way of an infant's well being...
Seeing someone breastfeeding wont hurt children - maybe if they are exposed at a young age they wont have such a big issue about it as so many people seem to Maybe someday feeding a child the way nature intended instead of some processed crap will no longer be looked down on

There are plenty of nursing cover options that do not require placing a blanket over your babies face....just a thought.....

[nannyde]

I understand that many people do feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding, but I also feel it is extremely selfish & childish to let one's own feelings of discomfort stand in the way of an infant's well being...
Seeing someone breastfeeding wont hurt children - maybe if they are exposed at a young age they wont have such a big issue about it as so many people seem to Maybe someday feeding a child the way nature intended instead of some processed crap will no longer be looked down on

I have a good story for you.

My son is 12.5 and in 7th grade. He was adopted at birth and has been raised in a home child care. He has no knowledge of breast feeding. He doesn't know anything about moms producing milk. In the last five years nearly all of the infants I care for are breast milk babies. He's not a part of my business and has never been in his whole life so he doesn't know anything at all about any of the babies milk, food, formula... nothing.

He has also never seen a womans breast in person. He knows nothing of it. He hasn't gotten to the age where he has interest in girls. We've never discussed breast feeding. We are modest at home. I'm a single mom to a preteen boy so we are fully dressed around the house.

This Thanksgiving I went to my cousins house. She just lost her husband in March to a horrible accident. Thanksgiving was the first major holiday since his passing so we decided between the two families to spend time together. My son and I got up at the crack on Thursday and flew from Des Moines to Denver.

Joining us at our Thanksgiving meal was my cousins deceased husbands X Step Father and his daughter. She brought her two year old and one year old.

We sat down to eat just a few hours after we had been there. The extended relatives joined us about an hour before the meal. The little kids free ranged the house until it was time to sit down.

My son was directly across a three foot span table from the Mom of the one year old. As soon as she had her plate loaded she brought the one year old up to the table and pulled her shirt up to feed him. Her breast was in FULL view of my son. The baby wasn't having it so he latched and unlatched multiple times. Each time he bucked away from her her breast was fully exposed.

We have never met this woman. She was a complete stranger to me and my son. It's obvious he's a preteen or teen as he is 5 foot 7 already.

She wasn't feeding a hungry baby. She was putting him at the breast so she could manage him with one hand while she fed herself off of her plate with the other. It was easier for HER to have him at her breast then to have him up and free ranging the house. He just wanted to run the house so the feeding didn't even happen.

What she did accomplish was blindsiding me and my son and not even giving a heads up that she was going to feed at the Thanksgiving table. She didn't care. She didn't ask. We would have been more than happy to step away and have our meal in another room or not even eat at all. She didn't give us a chance to decide.

My son had no idea what was even happening. As I said before, he knows nothing of breast feeding. All it was to him was a complete stranger exposing fully and completely her entire breast. He was very uncomfortable and looked to me for what to even do.

I was shell shocked. We ate a bit more off of our plates and then both of us just got up and went in to do dishes. For the rest of their visit whenever she brought the kid into her lap my son left the room.

To this day I haven't discussed breast feeding with him. This mom forced us into that situation but I refuse to allow her to force me into having this conversation with him. I will do that when I'm ready and when I feel he is ready. He wasn't ready then and he's not now.

What I DID discuss with him is that some people have belief systems they feel that everyone else SHOULD have and they don't give a flip what others think. They don't care. They do what is best for them with NO regard to the feelings of others. They blindside you and force you into their mindset at a time when you are vulnerable and unsuspecting.

We talked about that a lot and continue to to this day.

I didn't discuss it with my cousin. In the scheme of life... her life as it is now... it wasn't worth a mention. But... I will remember this for the rest of my life. I will remember the day when a full grown adult woman exposed herself to my son under the guise of what her RIGHTS are. I'll remember her disregard. I'll remember my immediate thought that ALL she had to do was just tell us she was going to expose herself and we would have accomodated our own sense of modesty and made our own choice. She could have had everything her way without having to involve my son.

In the end... that what it was about. This woman having HER way and interjecting HER rights above my kids right to have a Thanksgiving meal with his family without seeing her breasts.

Her behavior was selfish. She should have thought about my kid. She should have understood he is nearly a teenager and a male child and that there was a high liklihood he has never seen a womans breast in full view very close up. She should have offered us an opportunity to placate HER rights by opting out.

I'm over the breast feeding moms rights. I hate the "in your face" Time magazine cover approach. That's what I had for my Thanksgiving dinner under someone else's roof. I promise you that wouldn't happen under mine.

[clep]

If the baby needed to eat so be it. If the mother was to put a receiving blanket over her or something I wouldn't care one bit if it was in the same room as the day home. If other parents were offended by another parent nurturing their child at my home, they are more than welcome to find another place that won't support that parent.

[cheerfuldom]

I have a good story for you.

My son is 12.5 and in 7th grade. He was adopted at birth and has been raised in a home child care. He has no knowledge of breast feeding. He doesn't know anything about moms producing milk. In the last five years nearly all of the infants I care for are breast milk babies. He's not a part of my business and has never been in his whole life so he doesn't know anything at all about any of the babies milk, food, formula... nothing.

He has also never seen a womans breast in person. He knows nothing of it. He hasn't gotten to the age where he has interest in girls. We've never discussed breast feeding. We are modest at home. I'm a single mom to a preteen boy so we are fully dressed around the house.

This Thanksgiving I went to my cousins house. She just lost her husband in March to a horrible accident. Thanksgiving was the first major holiday since his passing so we decided between the two families to spend time together. My son and I got up at the crack on Thursday and flew from Des Moines to Denver.

Joining us at our Thanksgiving meal was my cousins deceased husbands X Step Father and his daughter. She brought her two year old and one year old.

We sat down to eat just a few hours after we had been there. The extended relatives joined us about an hour before the meal. The little kids free ranged the house until it was time to sit down.

My son was directly across a three foot span table from the Mom of the one year old. As soon as she had her plate loaded she brought the one year old up to the table and pulled her shirt up to feed him. Her breast was in FULL view of my son. The baby wasn't having it so he latched and unlatched multiple times. Each time he bucked away from her her breast was fully exposed.

We have never met this woman. She was a complete stranger to me and my son. It's obvious he's a preteen or teen as he is 5 foot 7 already.

She wasn't feeding a hungry baby. She was putting him at the breast so she could manage him with one hand while she fed herself off of her plate with the other. It was easier for HER to have him at her breast then to have him up and free ranging the house. He just wanted to run the house so the feeding didn't even happen.

What she did accomplish was blindsiding me and my son and not even giving a heads up that she was going to feed at the Thanksgiving table. She didn't care. She didn't ask. We would have been more than happy to step away and have our meal in another room or not even eat at all. She didn't give us a chance to decide.

My son had no idea what was even happening. As I said before, he knows nothing of breast feeding. All it was to him was a complete stranger exposing fully and completely her entire breast. He was very uncomfortable and looked to me for what to even do.

I was shell shocked. We ate a bit more off of our plates and then both of us just got up and went in to do dishes. For the rest of their visit whenever she brought the kid into her lap my son left the room.

To this day I haven't discussed breast feeding with him. This mom forced us into that situation but I refuse to allow her to force me into having this conversation with him. I will do that when I'm ready and when I feel he is ready. He wasn't ready then and he's not now.

What I DID discuss with him is that some people have belief systems they feel that everyone else SHOULD have and they don't give a flip what others think. They don't care. They do what is best for them with NO regard to the feelings of others. They blindside you and force you into their mindset at a time when you are vulnerable and unsuspecting.

We talked about that a lot and continue to to this day.

I didn't discuss it with my cousin. In the scheme of life... her life as it is now... it wasn't worth a mention. But... I will remember this for the rest of my life. I will remember the day when a full grown adult woman exposed herself to my son under the guise of what her RIGHTS are. I'll remember her disregard. I'll remember my immediate thought that ALL she had to do was just tell us she was going to expose herself and we would have accomodated our own sense of modesty and made our own choice. She could have had everything her way without having to involve my son.

In the end... that what it was about. This woman having HER way and interjecting HER rights above my kids right to have a Thanksgiving meal with his family without seeing her breasts.

Her behavior was selfish. She should have thought about my kid. She should have understood he is nearly a teenager and a male child and that there was a high liklihood he has never seen a womans breast in full view very close up. She should have offered us an opportunity to placate HER rights by opting out.

I'm over the breast feeding moms rights. I hate the "in your face" Time magazine cover approach. That's what I had for my Thanksgiving dinner under someone else's roof. I promise you that wouldn't happen under mine.

Thank you for sharing. It is important to note that many of the providers here take school age children....up 10 or even 12 year olds.

[Twinvillageiowa]

I have a good story for you.

My son is 12.5 and in 7th grade. He was adopted at birth and has been raised in a home child care. He has no knowledge of breast feeding. He doesn't know anything about moms producing milk. In the last five years nearly all of the infants I care for are breast milk babies. He's not a part of my business and has never been in his whole life so he doesn't know anything at all about any of the babies milk, food, formula... nothing.

He has also never seen a womans breast in person. He knows nothing of it. He hasn't gotten to the age where he has interest in girls. We've never discussed breast feeding. We are modest at home. I'm a single mom to a preteen boy so we are fully dressed around the house.

This Thanksgiving I went to my cousins house. She just lost her husband in March to a horrible accident. Thanksgiving was the first major holiday since his passing so we decided between the two families to spend time together. My son and I got up at the crack on Thursday and flew from Des Moines to Denver.

Joining us at our Thanksgiving meal was my cousins deceased husbands X Step Father and his daughter. She brought her two year old and one year old.

We sat down to eat just a few hours after we had been there. The extended relatives joined us about an hour before the meal. The little kids free ranged the house until it was time to sit down.

My son was directly across a three foot span table from the Mom of the one year old. As soon as she had her plate loaded she brought the one year old up to the table and pulled her shirt up to feed him. Her breast was in FULL view of my son. The baby wasn't having it so he latched and unlatched multiple times. Each time he bucked away from her her breast was fully exposed.

We have never met this woman. She was a complete stranger to me and my son. It's obvious he's a preteen or teen as he is 5 foot 7 already.

She wasn't feeding a hungry baby. She was putting him at the breast so she could manage him with one hand while she fed herself off of her plate with the other. It was easier for HER to have him at her breast then to have him up and free ranging the house. He just wanted to run the house so the feeding didn't even happen.

What she did accomplish was blindsiding me and my son and not even giving a heads up that she was going to feed at the Thanksgiving table. She didn't care. She didn't ask. We would have been more than happy to step away and have our meal in another room or not even eat at all. She didn't give us a chance to decide.

My son had no idea what was even happening. As I said before, he knows nothing of breast feeding. All it was to him was a complete stranger exposing fully and completely her entire breast. He was very uncomfortable and looked to me for what to even do.

I was shell shocked. We ate a bit more off of our plates and then both of us just got up and went in to do dishes. For the rest of their visit whenever she brought the kid into her lap my son left the room.

To this day I haven't discussed breast feeding with him. This mom forced us into that situation but I refuse to allow her to force me into having this conversation with him. I will do that when I'm ready and when I feel he is ready. He wasn't ready then and he's not now.

What I DID discuss with him is that some people have belief systems they feel that everyone else SHOULD have and they don't give a flip what others think. They don't care. They do what is best for them with NO regard to the feelings of others. They blindside you and force you into their mindset at a time when you are vulnerable and unsuspecting.

We talked about that a lot and continue to to this day.

I didn't discuss it with my cousin. In the scheme of life... her life as it is now... it wasn't worth a mention. But... I will remember this for the rest of my life. I will remember the day when a full grown adult woman exposed herself to my son under the guise of what her RIGHTS are. I'll remember her disregard. I'll remember my immediate thought that ALL she had to do was just tell us she was going to expose herself and we would have accomodated our own sense of modesty and made our own choice. She could have had everything her way without having to involve my son.

In the end... that what it was about. This woman having HER way and interjecting HER rights above my kids right to have a Thanksgiving meal with his family without seeing her breasts.

Her behavior was selfish. She should have thought about my kid. She should have understood he is nearly a teenager and a male child and that there was a high liklihood he has never seen a womans breast in full view very close up. She should have offered us an opportunity to placate HER rights by opting out.

I'm over the breast feeding moms rights. I hate the "in your face" Time magazine cover approach. That's what I had for my Thanksgiving dinner under someone else's roof. I promise you that wouldn't happen under mine.

I am sorry, but this story is just rediculous. I pity your son because he doesn't understand what breasts are for. Did you hide his face and bottle under a blanket when ou fed him? No? Then you are discriminating against breastfeeding women and making them out to be doing something wrong. Are you also going to avoid discussions about sex, birth control, drugs and alcohol? This would have been the perfect time to talk about how and why people feed their babies in particular manners and to encourage him to support breastfeeding. And why the heck should she have asked if it was ok to nurse or alerted you to it? Did you ask if you could eat from your plate of food?

[Twinvillageiowa]

There are plenty of nursing cover options that do not require placing a blanket over your babies face....just a thought.....

Do you cover up a bottle fed baby's face?

[snips&snails]

I am sorry, but this story is just rediculous. I pity your son because he doesn't understand what breasts are for. Did you hide his face and bottle under a blanket when ou fed him? No? Then you are discriminating against breastfeeding women and making them out to be doing something wrong. Are you also going to avoid discussions about sex, birth control, drugs and alcohol? This would have been the perfect time to talk about how and why people feed their babies in particular manners and to encourage him to support breastfeeding. And why the heck should she have asked if it was ok to nurse or alerted you to it? Did you ask if you could eat from your plate of food?

- at 12 years old if you think he doesn't know anything because you haven't "had this discussion" I think you have your head in the sand - unless he is homeschooled and no tv/internet AND highly isolated .

[nannyde]

- at 12 years old if you think he doesn't know anything because you haven't "had this discussion" I think you have your head in the sand - unless he is homeschooled and no tv/internet AND highly isolated .

See the thing is this breast feeding mom didn't know that. She couldn't have known whether or not my son has tv, internet, or is isolated. She didn't know if his Mama has her head in the sand. She didn't know if he had "had this discussion". She was a total stranger to us.

She was okay with exposing her breast to my twelve year old son not knowing a single thing about HIS life.... where HE was developmentally. She did what was best for HER and what SHE thought was right. She didn't consider the obvious that you picked up on in one post on the internet or a day care forum.