How Long Should 4 Year Old Nap

[Unregistered]

lazy parent syndrome

Ok, you're right about the contract thing. It was not explained well in this provider's contract.

She stated that "Naps vary depending on daily activities, but usually last 2-3 hours and children are allowed to stay awake but must remain quiet if they cannot sleep" This is very vague and I should've addressed this at first, but I understood "children are allowed to stay awake but must remain quiet" as - my child will be allowed to play quietly with other children his age while the younger ones sleep. When actually, it was "your child will lay there and do nothing for 2-3 hours while I take care of personal things". My son was allowed to "read a book" while laying there. He cannot read, and no book you give him will entertain him and keep him quiet for 2-3 hours, he is going to get bored, and he will want to get up, but you will lay him back down and tell him to hush and he will eventually fall asleep out of boredom.

I was angry at this provider because she was disrupting my son's normal sleep schedule so that she could take her break. I do not get this. Why are you expecting us to pay you when you are taking such a large break? This is just unacceptable. & yes, technically, the parents are your boss. We write your paychecks, so make sure you make your nap policy very clear, and make sure that it caters to children who are old enough to stay awake. Make sure you are making the parents happy, the children happy, and if you are not happy then maybe this isn't a good line of work for you.

You do not need such a large break, nobody needs a break like that. You do not need to make a child lay there so that you can accomplish things that every other parent/person-who-has-a-job makes time to accomplish on the weekends, or after work. That is just ridiculous, and I refuse to pay someone to take a break like that while my son is laying there.

This is hysterical, you lie in this post and completely contradict yourself. Ok so if your son just laid there for 3 hours, that would mean he didn't sleep meaning he would go to bed a normal time. You say he doesn't need a nap and won't take one, but then you say he would be so bord he would fall asleep, LOL. You go back and forth!

The real story is it was quiet time, and after a busy day he went to sleep like any other normal child. Meaning he wanted to stay up a normal time at night, and you wanted him down early so you wouldn't have to deal with him. If he stays up later at night, you let him sleep in till the last minute....so you also don't have to deal with him in the morning, so you can get ready for work. LOL.

Yep we have all had parents just like you!

[lil angels]

Question:

Family daycare providers, who really gets a 3 hour break? I mean when I have infants I have no break ( for the last 6 years actually, this is the first time in a long time that ALL my kids are sleeping at one time, and in a few months another newborn starts, so there goes that "break")

And when I am not taking care of infants, or checking on the kids, changing poop that happens while they sleep ( a big one this month!?) I am getting art set up for next art, preparing snack and dinner. I also email parents, upload pictures to website from morning FOR parents, and then maybe I can go pee by myself, put my feet up and relax for 30 minutes of a 12 hour day.

Now I know parents work, lets say 8 hour days with 30 minute lunch. After work for these parents, who preps for the next days work, cleans up their work station, and does work related things at night? MOST leave after 8 hours, go pee during day whenever they want, eat lunch in silence, maybe even go out to eat, then work a few more hours, and head home. They DO NOT however, stay after work, not getting paid to clean their desk, get things ready for next day, etc. If these are things us as providers should do after work, then really I would work 13-14 hour days.

Just a thought.

Don't forget to add in the groc shopping, shopping for the kids birthday presents,Christmas presents and such add that to the time you are talking about.

This is not something we will ever win with these parents on here so why bother.

[laundrymom]

So your whole issue is that although you love the home environment, the bonds and friendships formed, the smaller numbers, limited illness exposure and all around family type feel,.... You felt him napping at family childcare was disrupting his sleep pattern? So because he got two to three hours sleep at providers he didn't go to bed until 10ish? I understand that your son is a great kid and many parents feel the same as you.
They truly would stay with their kids at least part time if their jobs allowed for it and could swing is money wise. I have the perfect solution for you! You could keep him in a family childcare and take advantage of the family vibe, smaller numbers, and general things you loved, and keep his 8/9ish bedtime!!! Just wake him 3 hours before you do now, plus that would give you even MORE quality time with him each day.

I know I know great idea isn't it?? Win win. More time for mom and son, bedtimes stay the same and you get the environment you wanted for him to begin with

I was willing to pay for good care. I was actually paying the previous provider well above the average rate. I am not looking for "cheap" ways to keep my son up all day. You guys are STILL not getting it. I am not asking that you keep him awake while I am at work, so that when I get home, I can just put him straight to bed. I spend time with my son in the evenings, and I thoroughly enjoy it. I hate that I even have to work; I love my job, but I love my little boy wayyy more. I am not wanting an in-home daycare provider so that I can save money. I will pay what I paid at the center, or actually even more, because I LOVE the personalization you get at the in-home daycare, and the stability. I love that I know that Ms. Sally will be there like she always is and will care for my son, and not a 20 year old girl who was just fired from her waitress job so she thought she'd work at a center and see how that is.
I am willing to pay for that kind of thing. I just couldn't find one who could meet the needs of my very normal son. He didn't fight, he didn't scream, he gets along well with others, he doesn't get cranky. He just didn't need the nap. It messed up his sleeping habits at home, and I worked so hard to get him on a great schedule. Being told to lie on a cot for 3 hours will mean that he will eventually fall asleep, therefore not fall asleep at home until 10pm or later.

[nannyde]

That is EXACTLY what I am asking. Why is this so difficult? I think they need break from all the kids, yes. But why is it not possible to turn on a movie for the older kiddos, or give them a quiet activity, while you take your break? I sincerely DO NOT want my child to lie on a cot for that long. It is boring, and it disrupts his already established sleep patterns at home. He can watch a movie or play quietly while others sleep. He knows what it means to be quiet, because others are sleeping. As far as the landscaping example goes, your analogy is incorrect. If I were paying you to care for my son for nine hours, then you are being paid to care for him for nine hours. You are saying that I would pay you for nine hours, however my son would actually be in your home for 12 hours. (9+3=12). But no, he is in your home for 9 hours and you are taking a 3 hour break during this 9 hours. Meaning that you really are only caring for my son for 6 hours, because you have told him to lie quietly on his cot for 3 hours. (9-3=6).
& Mandy Jane, I don't think it is necessary to attempt to insult me with your sarcastic remarks. "I assume you DO know how to read? " What is up with that? If you want me to edit your grammar on that post, I can and will. Just let me know. I will be all over that.
I am not trying to insult anyone here, and I would like it very much if you did not insult me.
I appreciate that you all care enough for children to open your home up to them. But you are running a business, you are providing a service. You need to stop being so selfish and look at what your clients need, and compare that to what you need. There needs to be a good balance. And with most of the providers I looked at, the needs of the provider were put well above the clients. They wanted a break, no exceptions. They would try to explain to me that my child DOES need a nap. They would try to tell me that yes, they are negotiable. But when I questioned them in detail what my child would be doing during "nap time", they failed to prove that my child would not be lying down doing nothing at all.

I am obviously not finding any answers here. I had to put my son in a center, when I preferred the "home-setting" and the personalization you get with a home provider. I was not able to find any provider willing to actually budge on this nap time/break time thing. That is a very large break. And yes, your job is quite different then mine. But why did you choose this kind of work if you cannot keep up with children for a full 8 hours, even? I could not do that, so I chose to NOT open a daycare in my home. If I thought that I could handle 6-8 kids (homes that I looked at had this # of kids, I definitely do NOT want my son in a home with more children than that. That is a chaotic mess) in my home then I would consider the fact that I would need to actually care for them for at least 9 hours. Meaning, that I would need to tend to children who were old enough to stay awake during the day. I would require that children who get cranky have naps. I would consult with the parent about their child's crankiness and there would be a solution. I would not "drop" the family because a child functions well w/out a nap. That IS bad business. That is cruel to the child. If they get used to a daycare, love the kids they play with, love the providers, why would you drop them because they do not need a nap?
Like I said, I am getting no answers here.
Based on the info you HAVE provided, this is my conclusion:

My son will stay in a center. In-home providers are unable to fully care for my child because they cannot handle children who do not require a nap. They would much rather disrupt his sleeping habits rather than disrupt their break.

We are giving you the answer but you are saying no to it. Your solutions are not workable for us. A kid up is a kid up. Doesn't matter to me whether they are watching TV, doing a "quiet" activity, or table craft. They are UP and one being up to me is the same as the entire house being up and being in full play.

I would NEVER try to convince you he needs a nap. He doesn't and I believe you. I also believe the legions of parents with infants to five year old who say their kid doesn't need a nap. I'm not in the business of telling you that you are wrong about it. Of course he doesn't need a nap.

I'm just not in the business of providing a no nap service. I know their are millions of children from birth to five who don't need any naps. I get that ... and I'm good with it. They just can't come to my house.

I think what you might be missing is that it IS possible to provide an amazing day care for birth to five and ONLY cater to children who NEED a full afternon nap. You are saying it comes with the territory and I'm telling you I've done this for 18 years and it IS possible to ONLY provide the service where children NEED a full afternoon nap. You ran into one after another when you did your search.

[Unregistered]

probably not even a nap issue.

That is EXACTLY what I am asking. Why is this so difficult? I think they need break from all the kids, yes. But why is it not possible to turn on a movie for the older kiddos, or give them a quiet activity, while you take your break? I sincerely DO NOT want my child to lie on a cot for that long. It is boring, and it disrupts his already established sleep patterns at home. He can watch a movie or play quietly while others sleep. He knows what it means to be quiet, because others are sleeping. As far as the landscaping example goes, your analogy is incorrect. If I were paying you to care for my son for nine hours, then you are being paid to care for him for nine hours. You are saying that I would pay you for nine hours, however my son would actually be in your home for 12 hours. (9+3=12). But no, he is in your home for 9 hours and you are taking a 3 hour break during this 9 hours. Meaning that you really are only caring for my son for 6 hours, because you have told him to lie quietly on his cot for 3 hours. (9-3=6).
& Mandy Jane, I don't think it is necessary to attempt to insult me with your sarcastic remarks. "I assume you DO know how to read? " What is up with that? If you want me to edit your grammar on that post, I can and will. Just let me know. I will be all over that.
I am not trying to insult anyone here, and I would like it very much if you did not insult me.
I appreciate that you all care enough for children to open your home up to them. But you are running a business, you are providing a service. You need to stop being so selfish and look at what your clients need, and compare that to what you need. There needs to be a good balance. And with most of the providers I looked at, the needs of the provider were put well above the clients. They wanted a break, no exceptions. They would try to explain to me that my child DOES need a nap. They would try to tell me that yes, they are negotiable. But when I questioned them in detail what my child would be doing during "nap time", they failed to prove that my child would not be lying down doing nothing at all.

I am obviously not finding any answers here. I had to put my son in a center, when I preferred the "home-setting" and the personalization you get with a home provider. I was not able to find any provider willing to actually budge on this nap time/break time thing. That is a very large break. And yes, your job is quite different then mine. But why did you choose this kind of work if you cannot keep up with children for a full 8 hours, even? I could not do that, so I chose to NOT open a daycare in my home. If I thought that I could handle 6-8 kids (homes that I looked at had this # of kids, I definitely do NOT want my son in a home with more children than that. That is a chaotic mess) in my home then I would consider the fact that I would need to actually care for them for at least 9 hours. Meaning, that I would need to tend to children who were old enough to stay awake during the day. I would require that children who get cranky have naps. I would consult with the parent about their child's crankiness and there would be a solution. I would not "drop" the family because a child functions well w/out a nap. That IS bad business. That is cruel to the child. If they get used to a daycare, love the kids they play with, love the providers, why would you drop them because they do not need a nap?
Like I said, I am getting no answers here.
Based on the info you HAVE provided, this is my conclusion:

My son will stay in a center. In-home providers are unable to fully care for my child because they cannot handle children who do not require a nap. They would much rather disrupt his sleeping habits rather than disrupt their break.

I have a feeling there is much more going on here, and probably the center is not as honest with you as in a home daycare. Maybe your child is disruptive and they felt he needed to quiet down, or they saw he needed a nap.

Most 4 years old I've had need a nap because we have a very active day. If your child has trouble keeping still at that age there might be other things going on with him; why you've been through various daycares. As providers we see this all the time, and often they end up at the chain type centers.

Currently I have a 4 year old and he needs a 2 hr nap every day, otherwise he is a terror. And he would not play quietly. I suspect you're embellishing the 3 hrs on the mat too. If he is taking a nap at any daycare it means he needs that nap no matter what age.

I think it comes down to your schedule being disrupted, not his.

[Unregistered]

I have the perfect solution for you! You could keep him in a family childcare and take advantage of the family vibe, smaller numbers, and general things you loved, and keep his 8/9ish bedtime!!! Just wake him 3 hours before you do now, plus that would give you even MORE quality time with him each day.

I know I know great idea isn't it?? Win win. More time for mom and son, bedtimes stay the same and you get the environment you wanted for him to begin with

Really?? When I pay someone for a service I don't expect to have to edit my families daily life for this service. I do not feel that waking up at 4am is a good solution. But good try.
That would STILL be disrupting my son's sleeping schedule. The big problem is that I want an in-home daycare that will allow my four year old to stay awake during your break time. When I was searching for an in-home daycare that would allow this, I did find providers that were willing to let my son go without the unnecessary nap. But there were other things I did not like. (Food provided, dirty home, too many kids, etc). I could never find one that I liked that didn't have the nap policy for older kids. I've settled on a center due to this, I'm happy with it. I would've been happier with a great in-home provider that met all of my/my child's needs, but was unable to find one. I came to this forum because I wanted to really question the nap thing. I really wanted to know why providers take these long breaks. I really wanted to know why I had to resort to putting my son in a center.

[daycare]

That is EXACTLY what I am asking. Why is this so difficult? I think they need break from all the kids, yes. But why is it not possible to turn on a movie for the older kiddos, or give them a quiet activity, while you take your break? I sincerely DO NOT want my child to lie on a cot for that long. It is boring, and it disrupts his already established sleep patterns at home. He can watch a movie or play quietly while others sleep. He knows what it means to be quiet, because others are sleeping. As far as the landscaping example goes, your analogy is incorrect. If I were paying you to care for my son for nine hours, then you are being paid to care for him for nine hours. You are saying that I would pay you for nine hours, however my son would actually be in your home for 12 hours. (9+3=12). But no, he is in your home for 9 hours and you are taking a 3 hour break during this 9 hours. Meaning that you really are only caring for my son for 6 hours, because you have told him to lie quietly on his cot for 3 hours. (9-3=6).
& Mandy Jane, I don't think it is necessary to attempt to insult me with your sarcastic remarks. "I assume you DO know how to read? " What is up with that? If you want me to edit your grammar on that post, I can and will. Just let me know. I will be all over that.
I am not trying to insult anyone here, and I would like it very much if you did not insult me.
I appreciate that you all care enough for children to open your home up to them. But you are running a business, you are providing a service. You need to stop being so selfish and look at what your clients need, and compare that to what you need. There needs to be a good balance. And with most of the providers I looked at, the needs of the provider were put well above the clients. They wanted a break, no exceptions. They would try to explain to me that my child DOES need a nap. They would try to tell me that yes, they are negotiable. But when I questioned them in detail what my child would be doing during "nap time", they failed to prove that my child would not be lying down doing nothing at all.

I am obviously not finding any answers here. I had to put my son in a center, when I preferred the "home-setting" and the personalization you get with a home provider. I was not able to find any provider willing to actually budge on this nap time/break time thing. That is a very large break. And yes, your job is quite different then mine. But why did you choose this kind of work if you cannot keep up with children for a full 8 hours, even? I could not do that, so I chose to NOT open a daycare in my home. If I thought that I could handle 6-8 kids (homes that I looked at had this # of kids, I definitely do NOT want my son in a home with more children than that. That is a chaotic mess) in my home then I would consider the fact that I would need to actually care for them for at least 9 hours. Meaning, that I would need to tend to children who were old enough to stay awake during the day. I would require that children who get cranky have naps. I would consult with the parent about their child's crankiness and there would be a solution. I would not "drop" the family because a child functions well w/out a nap. That IS bad business. That is cruel to the child. If they get used to a daycare, love the kids they play with, love the providers, why would you drop them because they do not need a nap?
Like I said, I am getting no answers here.
Based on the info you HAVE provided, this is my conclusion:

My son will stay in a center. In-home providers are unable to fully care for my child because they cannot handle children who do not require a nap. They would much rather disrupt his sleeping habits rather than disrupt their break.

The one part of this post that bothers me is that you think because they are sleeping we are not caring for them?

when your child in signed into DC and on my premises, I am 100% responsible for them, until you sign them out and take them home.

So that means if during nap time an earthquake should hit, or a gas leak rupture in my home, I will need to remove your awake or sleeping child from my home. I must continue to watch and care for your child 100% of the time they are in my care. AWAKE or ALSEEP. My insurance company does not give me a discount when your child is sleeping. Therefore, I will still need money to cover this cost and I am still working, I am just not up having to continue to entertain your child, because they need to rest their over thinking minds and I do too.

Yes, some children can be quiet during nap time, most can't. Then it leads to a stressful environment for those children that are awake. The provider is constantly having to quiet the children that are awake. Who wants to hear please be quiet or lower your voice a million times? Not me, not you, not a child.

I know its been said a million times, but if a daycare does not offer a service your child needs, then you need to find a different daycare for your child..

It's like your going to jiffy lube asking for your brakes to be changed and they don't offer that service.....

[BigMama]

No one is ever satisfied!!!

I am in NYS. Our regulations for home-based child care state that children must be provided with a rest period. They also state that children who are unable to rest be given alternate activities and that children must not be forced to rest for "excessive" periods.
All children under the age of five are required to rest here. For the first thirty minutes of nap time they are required to lay on their cots quietly. This allows anyone who is going to fall asleep a chance to do so and it gives me time to put the two babies down for their nap. After the initial 30 min. anyone who is awake is given a "nap box" - a shoe box with quiet activities such as books, crayons and a scribble pad, finger puppets, a magna-doodle, cards, puzzles etc. I have several boxes so the kids don't get bored with the same stuff over and over again. Anyone over the age of five is allowed to play in the playroom. If they have a nap box they are expected to play independently and quietly. If they are in the playroom they are expected to play quietly. All of this is spelled out in my contract.
Even though all of the parents return a signed contract signifying that they have read and understand my policies, I cannot tell you how many parents STILL do not accept the nap time rules:
Parent: "Why does my child have to play up here if other kids get to go in the playroom?"
Me: Because it is against the law for the toddlers and preschoolers to be out of my sight. Tiffany can play quietly right here.
Parent:"He doesn't want to nap."
Me: "?!" (There is a huge difference between a child outgrowing and not needing their nap and just not wanting to take one!)
Parent: "Why can't she play with you during nap?"
Me: Because I am not your child's playmate! We spend 4-5 hours (depending on when they are dropped off) a morning doing activities: art, playing outside, preschool stuff, story time, etc. etc. I am here to help facilitate Jack's learning and socialization, not to be his friend. And yes, I need a break in my 10 hour day! I am sorry if that makes me a bad person! I do not understand why only child care providers are expected to go without a break?!
On one occasion I had only one school-ager, and instead of having her play in the playroom by herself while the little ones napped, I let her watch a movie. Well, parents complained about that! I have no problem meeting individual needs and accommodating non-nappers, but sometimes I get so frustrated because it seems as though no one is ever satisfied with what I do.

[CheekyChick]

In response to the parent who feels we don't deserve a break...

I am an in-home facility and don't require my 4 and 5 year olds to nap. I (personally) think it would be cruel to have an older child lay on his/her cot for 2+ hours quietly. I wouldn't be happy if my children were forced to that. So... I allow my older "non-nappers" to sit at a table and play quiet games, read, draw, etc.

With that said, anyone working with small children from 7:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. DESERVES and NEEDS a break. I also don't consider a parent paying $3.00 per hour "good" money. You probably pay your gardner $25.00 per hour, but you pay the person who loves and nurtures your son most of his waking hours approximately $3.00 an hour? Hmmm.... That hardly seems fair. Lastly, I'm sure when you're with your son on a Saturday, you do not play with him for 10 hours straight. Do you never sit down to pay bills, return calls, hop on the Internet, watch a TV show, read a magazine? I'm sure you do...

[kimsdaycare]

Please remember that in your center, the staff is getting a break, they just rotate them in and out of rooms as necessary for the supervision of non-nappers.

Most home daycares don't have that luxury. A non-napper actually often requires more supervision as they will do all they can to wake some friends to play with. Not to mention the younger nappers that now fight nap because they see others not having to

Today I have had no breakfast, no lunch, no drinks and no potty break.

I still have one awake. It doesn't make any difference. I'm still "on the clock" so my needs will have to wait.

Before I did daycare I had visions of my provider watching soaps and cleaning her house during naptime.

You know what? I just realized that I havent even seen a soap since I worked outside the home (13 years now) and and watched them during my lunch break. I never appreciated those freedoms. I believed I earned them and would have quit my job if they were denied to me.

Home vs center are so different I cannot believe people even compare the two when it comes to stuff like this.

I know I sound cranky. I'd give anything for a cracker or something right now.

And I really need to pee

[Unregistered]

How am I a lazy parent?

This is hysterical, you lie in this post and completely contradict yourself. Ok so if your son just laid there for 3 hours, that would mean he didn't sleep meaning he would go to bed a normal time. You say he doesn't need a nap and won't take one, but then you say he would be so bord he would fall asleep, LOL. You go back and forth!

The real story is it was quiet time, and after a busy day he went to sleep like any other normal child. Meaning he wanted to stay up a normal time at night, and you wanted him down early so you wouldn't have to deal with him. If he stays up later at night, you let him sleep in till the last minute....so you also don't have to deal with him in the morning, so you can get ready for work. LOL.

Yep we have all had parents just like you!

I did not contradict myself at all. My son does not need a nap. He starts school next year and he will not nap then. He is able to stay awake from 7:30am to 8:30pm each and every day without having any cranky issues. This provider required that my son lay still on a cot for 2-3 hours. Yes, after a period of time HE WOULD FALL ASLEEP. If I went to my bed, RIGHT NOW, and laid there looking at a ten-page picture book for 2-3 hours, I WOULD FALL ASLEEP. BECAUSE IT IS BORING. I then would not be able to fall asleep at my normal bedtime. I am NOT trying to pay someone to keep my child awake all day so that he passes out right when he gets home. That is ridiculous. I enjoy spending time with my child in the evenings, I really, truly do. I can see where parents would be tired and they wouldn't want to "deal" with their own kids. But they need to realize that this is all the "little kid" time your going to get with this child. They are going to grow up, and you are going to miss it. I do not want to miss it. I want my son to really enjoy being four years old. I want him to really love his mom because she plays with him as often as she can. We have plans EVERY weekend. We go do something fun. I can have my "free time" when my child is 16 and wants to go hang out with his friends. Right now he wants to hang out with his mommy, and I am not about to give that up. However, I have really worked hard on establishing a great sleep schedule, and I have found that 8:30pm is good for him. He started sleeping less and less when he first turned four. I decided to stop putting him down for naps, because it was getting difficult to try and make him sleep. I learned that he was fine without the naps. My mother was his babysitter at this time, she had been for quite some time. She agreed that he was fine without the naps, and he still went to sleep at 8:30pm just fine. Then my wonderful mother decided that she was going to take a job offer. That meant my little guy needed to go to daycare. & thus, all of this mess that I am throwing a big fit about. For now, I will leave him in the in center. He seems to enjoy it, I get a daily report with all the stuff he did that day. And he isn't required to lay quietly or fall asleep out of boredom. I really liked the idea of an in-home daycare, but I couldn't find the right one.

[Unregistered]

Maybe you need to look into having a stay at home mom watch him. We don't tend to make our kids nap forever for the same reason you don't want yours to nap forever. The environment is home-like and the group would be very small. You may not get all the bells and whistles these ladies offer, but let me tell you, your child will be fine without all that a "daycare provider" thinks kids need to be doing every day. When we need a little break, Sesame Street is still a wonderful show for kids. While your child is with us, he probably won't be told to GO PLAY TOYS because he'll be too busy learning to count while we bake, learn his colors while we sort clean socks, learn to be a helper while he puts toilet paper rolls in the cupboard, learn about plants when we water them, learn about the different kinds of birds after we've filled the bird feeder together. I'm happy to earn some money and offer a safe place for a little friend while I'm home. It's worked great for the families I've had so far.

[Unregistered]

Maybe you need to look into having a stay at home mom watch him. We don't tend to make our kids nap forever for the same reason you don't want yours to nap forever. The environment is home-like and the group would be very small. You may not get all the bells and whistles these ladies offer, but let me tell you, your child will be fine without all that a "daycare provider" thinks kids need to be doing every day. When we need a little break, Sesame Street is still a wonderful show for kids. While your child is with us, he probably won't be told to GO PLAY TOYS because he'll be too busy learning to count while we bake, learn his colors while we sort clean socks, learn to be a helper while he puts toilet paper rolls in the cupboard, learn about plants when we water them, learn about the different kinds of birds after we've filled the bird feeder together. I'm happy to earn some money and offer a safe place for a little friend while I'm home. It's worked great for the families I've had so far.

You are right! This is exactly what I need. My mother was EXACTLY like this before she started working again. This was perfect! I just wanted to have him be around other kids. His cousin was with him at my mother's house and they are around the same age so it was so perfect. But when she started working again, my sister moved her son into a center and I wanted to keep that home environment going when it came to my son's care. I do not know a stay at home mom that could care for my son. I first hired a nanny. Except I really wanted my son to play with other children daily. I wanted him to make some little friendships because he starts school soon. I ended the nanny thing and then started the in-home daycare/nap policy fiasco.

[Unregistered]

You are right! This is exactly what I need. My mother was EXACTLY like this before she started working again. This was perfect! I just wanted to have him be around other kids. His cousin was with him at my mother's house and they are around the same age so it was so perfect. But when she started working again, my sister moved her son into a center and I wanted to keep that home environment going when it came to my son's care. I do not know a stay at home mom that could care for my son. I first hired a nanny. Except I really wanted my son to play with other children daily. I wanted him to make some little friendships because he starts school soon. I ended the nanny thing and then started the in-home daycare/nap policy fiasco.

Probably the best place to find a willing stay at home mom is through the school your child will attend. Call and ask if they know of any stay at home moms who watch a couple kids. You could also check with your local story time librarian. She'll usually know who the stay at home moms are that bring an extra or two along. We're around, we just don't advertise because someone is always recommending us. ;~)

[nannyde]

I did not contradict myself at all. My son does not need a nap. He starts school next year and he will not nap then. He is able to stay awake from 7:30am to 8:30pm each and every day without having any cranky issues. This provider required that my son lay still on a cot for 2-3 hours. Yes, after a period of time HE WOULD FALL ASLEEP. If I went to my bed, RIGHT NOW, and laid there looking at a ten-page picture book for 2-3 hours, I WOULD FALL ASLEEP. BECAUSE IT IS BORING. I then would not be able to fall asleep at my normal bedtime. I am NOT trying to pay someone to keep my child awake all day so that he passes out right when he gets home. That is ridiculous. I enjoy spending time with my child in the evenings, I really, truly do. I can see where parents would be tired and they wouldn't want to "deal" with their own kids. But they need to realize that this is all the "little kid" time your going to get with this child. They are going to grow up, and you are going to miss it. I do not want to miss it. I want my son to really enjoy being four years old. I want him to really love his mom because she plays with him as often as she can. We have plans EVERY weekend. We go do something fun. I can have my "free time" when my child is 16 and wants to go hang out with his friends. Right now he wants to hang out with his mommy, and I am not about to give that up. However, I have really worked hard on establishing a great sleep schedule, and I have found that 8:30pm is good for him. He started sleeping less and less when he first turned four. I decided to stop putting him down for naps, because it was getting difficult to try and make him sleep. I learned that he was fine without the naps. My mother was his babysitter at this time, she had been for quite some time. She agreed that he was fine without the naps, and he still went to sleep at 8:30pm just fine. Then my wonderful mother decided that she was going to take a job offer. That meant my little guy needed to go to daycare. & thus, all of this mess that I am throwing a big fit about. For now, I will leave him in the in center. He seems to enjoy it, I get a daily report with all the stuff he did that day. And he isn't required to lay quietly or fall asleep out of boredom. I really liked the idea of an in-home daycare, but I couldn't find the right one.

You sound like a great Mom. I would love to work for you minus the nap deal. Just keep looking for the right placement if you are still interested.

I hope your experience here has taught you that it's not personal. It's not about what you need or your kid needs. Deciding to limit the business to only children who NEED a full afternoon nap is just ONE of the decisions we make in this business. It's not made for the benefit of one family or one kid. For me, it's based on YEARS of doing this and wanting happiness, LONGEVITY, and being around really rested kids. I love the nappers... they are my fave.

Don't take it personally... cuz it's not personal. It's just business.