How Long Should 4 Year Old Nap

[Cat Herder]

If you e-mail her at anytime of the day, she'll respond within minutes.

Me, too..

My computer says "You've got mail". The children then chant "You got mail, You got mail, You got mail" to the music of Nany-nany-boo-boo..

Once I was even told "MS. ***, your chair wants you."

So I walk over to my desk to see what it is. Usually it is a parent, but occasionally it is a toy or curriculum sale...

[Unregistered]

Im sorry and Im gonna get everyone crazy again, but when I first read Frustrated's post, I didnt believe it! There, I said it.

[Unregistered]

Seriously?

Thanks for all the comments. Just another bit of info here. She has been sleeping in her parents bed since birth and just about a month ago, they tried to get her in her own room. Needless to say, the child told me on Monday, that her mom just moved her bed into her parents room. I am just going to do as I always have and have her take a nap with the other kids. She very clearly runs her household, but I will not allow her to run my daycare. I do need that break every day, and actually look forward to catching up on the laundry and cleaning at nap time. It is the only way, I can get my own chores done.

"She very clearly runs her household, but I will not allow her to run my daycare."???

I thought it was the parents to blame and not the child?
You Miss, are the very reason why I am a stay at home Mom. I can only imagine how you treat that little girl during the time in which she is at your house and Im sure if her parents knew that you were in need of some sort of assistance from a forum they most certainly wouldnt have their child in your care.

As for the others who run daycares out of their homes, I agree with the your house your rules policy.

[Unregistered]

I too have children that will sleep till 4. But they didn't fall asleep till 2:30 or so. So, my point is, maybe she didn't fall asleep till towards the end of nap time, and I WON"T wake a sleeping child unless it is getting close to pick up time. At age 4, taking a 2/3 hour nap is common at my house. These kids get up early in the morning and their days are very busy.

As far as your child not wanting to go to bed at night. It has nothing to do with the nap at childcare, I would say it has more to do with how it is simply done at home. Kids have a way to get what they want at home.

I too have went thru the "Please don't let them sleep for more than 1 hour" because they won't go to sleep at home. Hmm, take out the tv and dvd player from their bedroom. Put them to bed at a descent time, shut out the light, and discipline them when they disobey. This is what is frustrating, the provider gets the blame for a child not wanting to sleep, yet the parent lets the kid lay in bed and watch tv.....this was the situation with me.

I have a kindergartener in my care, goes in the morning, and he gets back at 12:30, eats, and takes a 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap everyday. His days are very busy. I also have a first grader in my care, no school days, she lays down also, her choice to look at books or do something queitly, and 99% of the time she rolls over and goes to sleep.

I am a mother of 3 children ages 15, 5 and 4. I also ran a day care in my home for a while. I believe it is a joint effort by the parents and the providors to do what is best for the children. I see providors on this thread blasting parents. Maybe these are issues that should be talked about among the parents and the providors. After all, isnt that why many people choose a home day care instead of a larger center. That being said....my 4 year old has always been a good sleeper and was always in bed by 8 pm. There is NO tv and NO video games in his room which he has shared since birth with his brother that is one year older. Lately he has been having trouble falling asleep, he is simply not tired enough and we ARE a highly active family. He does nap at daycare but on weekends he doesnt. He naps at daycare because it is a routine he is used to. I feel he is ready to either stop napping or have shorter naps now. Due to him not being able to fall asleep until later, we have trouble getting him up in the morning. We are a dual career family and have to be up and out early in the morning. I know there is no definitive answer to this issue but I think it is a case by case basis. I was actually uncomfortable after reading some of these responses with the tone in what some providors are saying. I believe as a providor you have a responsiblity not to complain about the people who pay you to take care of their children in a public forum, bring those issues to the parent and you never know, it MAY just be a misunderstanding that can be cleared up really easily. Communication helps in so many ways.

[Nellie]

OMG. That is all I can say. I know that there has been tons of posts on nap problem issues so indstead of asking I thought I'd search...........and this is what I ended up reading untill 1 in the morning.::

[dave4him]

I would say two hours is a healthy amount of time for a four year old

[Unregistered]

I am a parent of a 4 year old and to be honest, I am appalled at the comments made by some daycare providers on this message board. Wow. Ms. Sue: "It's not the child with the issue- it's the parents - as usual". How presumptuous and wrong you are. I am a teacher, and we are taught that the parents are the first and most important "teachers" of their children.

My son, even though he does not need a nap would always nap given the opportunity-- placed in a quiet dark room...of course he would. So would I. And this was the case at his in-home daycare. I spoke with the provider, whom he loved, and she was as stubborn as you all, and said all kids must rest for those two hours. Since he was the oldest child at daycare, she was UNWILLING to make an exception for him. And since he regularly fell asleep, she did not listen to me, and ASSUMED that I was WRONG and she was RIGHT.

When he was at home, he never napped and was fine. He would go to bed at a reasonable hour (8:00) and wake up around 7:00. When he would go to daycare and had a nap, he consistently said "I'm not tired! I'm not tired!" at night and would be up until 10:30. This was not due to my LACK of parenting skills or ability. He was TRULY not tired.

Turns out, I pulled him from his daycare which he loved for this VERY reason. He is now at Montessori preschool and flourishing. They do not require a nap and he is doing lovely, on a regular schedule and learning/playing for two extra hours instead of being forced to nap. I am so happy I made this decision.

Parents know best. And if you are unwilling to meet a reasonable request in the best interest of the child then you shouldn't be practicing daycare.

Thank you!!!!!! Some people just aren't fit to be providers.

[Unregistered]

very funny, my laugh for the day! and thankyou too!

Some people really should not work with children or families. Nap time is not Breaktime- for providers to play on the computer! Some children are more active than others-my daughter is up all night on school nights, but when she is kept home, or is home on weekends has a beautiful sleep routine. It is clear to me what the problem is-She is awake for-what 4 hours of her day-why would she want to sleep at night. Not all parents have the liberty of staying home and caring for their own children-most of us put our children there because we have to! Get another job-if you can't put children's health before your break time!

Furious in MA!

For one you CANNOT force a child to nap, its merely a quiet time for those that need to nap or wind down. I'm CERTAIN the 4yr old in question is sleeping because he/she is exhausted because they are getting a lot of activity compared to being at home. For the children that don't nap most daycares have the child read on their mat ect. and fyi all providers use this time wisely to pick up, clean or plan activities.

The parents that complain about naps are always the ones that put them to bed early at night because they don't want to deal with them. And I hope when your child naps on the weekend your not on the computer, ...

[Unregistered]

We, THE PARENTS, Are Paying You!!

Hello, I was having problems with my son's daycare provider requiring my son to take long naps, or lay on a cot quietly for 2-3 hours each day.

My son is 4.5 yrs old, his bedtime is 8:30pm every day, and we wake up at 7:30am every day. He would get dropped off at daycare around 8:30am every weekday. This was an in-home daycare, and she cared for about 6 other children during the day, too. Age ranged from 2 yrs-5yrs. As soon as I began bringing my son there, he began having sleeping problems at night. Before, he was always OUT at 8:30pm, when I put him in bed. But with this new daycare and the naps, he wasn't falling asleep until 10pm, but we still had to wake up at 7:30 each day, so this wasn't working. I went to the provider, explained that my son did not need a 2 hour nap and I questioned her and asked why he wasn't allowed to play or watch a movie, or SOMETHING, she told me that she needed 2-3 hours for her "break" and all the kids were required to lay quietly. I took my son out of this daycare, and got him into another one where he does not have to take naps because he is FOUR YEARS OLD and no longer needs one. Sure, he fell asleep, if you were forced to lay on a cot for 2-3 hours, would you not fall asleep???? How freaking boring is that??

What I do not understand is why do you need a 2-3 hour break? I work 8+ hours a day, too, and I get a 30-min lunch @ work, I do not get 2-3 hours to do whatever I please! I clean, do laundry, get on the computer, enjoy free time, etc, on the WEEKENDS or nights after my child falls asleep. I don't take a big honkin' break right in the middle of my work day, who does that!!? I was paying this lady to care for my son, if I tell you he does not need a nap, then he doesn't. I pay you! I have to do what my boss @ work tells me, what is the difference here? I expect the providers to do what is best for my child, & I will be the one to tell you what is best for my child, thank you very much.

[Unregistered]

Hello, I was having problems with my son's daycare provider requiring my son to take long naps, or lay on a cot quietly for 2-3 hours each day.

My son is 4.5 yrs old, his bedtime is 8:30pm every day, and we wake up at 7:30am every day. He would get dropped off at daycare around 8:30am every weekday. This was an in-home daycare, and she cared for about 6 other children during the day, too. Age ranged from 2 yrs-5yrs. As soon as I began bringing my son there, he began having sleeping problems at night. Before, he was always OUT at 8:30pm, when I put him in bed. But with this new daycare and the naps, he wasn't falling asleep until 10pm, but we still had to wake up at 7:30 each day, so this wasn't working. I went to the provider, explained that my son did not need a 2 hour nap and I questioned her and asked why he wasn't allowed to play or watch a movie, or SOMETHING, she told me that she needed 2-3 hours for her "break" and all the kids were required to lay quietly. I took my son out of this daycare, and got him into another one where he does not have to take naps because he is FOUR YEARS OLD and no longer needs one. Sure, he fell asleep, if you were forced to lay on a cot for 2-3 hours, would you not fall asleep???? How freaking boring is that??

What I do not understand is why do you need a 2-3 hour break? I work 8+ hours a day, too, and I get a 30-min lunch @ work, I do not get 2-3 hours to do whatever I please! I clean, do laundry, get on the computer, enjoy free time, etc, on the WEEKENDS or nights after my child falls asleep. I don't take a big honkin' break right in the middle of my work day, who does that!!? I was paying this lady to care for my son, if I tell you he does not need a nap, then he doesn't. I pay you! I have to do what my boss @ work tells me, what is the difference here? I expect the providers to do what is best for my child, & I will be the one to tell you what is best for my child, thank you very much.

Be prepared...they will tell you that you are NOT the boss. You are paying for their service. If the program doesn't fit your needs, you need to find one that does. I hadn't ever realized quite how hot of a topic napping was until I started coming here.

[Mandy_Jane]

I was paying this lady to care for my son, if I tell you he does not need a nap, then he doesn't. I pay you! I have to do what my boss @ work tells me, what is the difference here? I expect the providers to do what is best for my child, & I will be the one to tell you what is best for my child, thank you very much.

If you were my at MY daycare, I would tell you to take your precious money & hit the road. YOU ARE NOT MY BOSS. "THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" I can very easily fill your position with a parent who knows how to read my handbook and follow my policies. No one puts a gun to your head and forces you to sign a contract for your daycare. It's up to YOU to determine where YOU want to put your child. Don't sign a contract and enroll your child if YOU are not happy with the rules. You WILL NEVER find a good daycare provider for your child if you keep up the attitude that you are their boss and they will do as they're told. If you want that, then you need to hire a nanny and shell out 4 times as much as you are paying for daycare right now. Parents like you are the ones we providers have nightmares over.

[Unregistered]

Still Not Understanding This Big "Break"

Ok, you're right about the contract thing. It was not explained well in this provider's contract.

She stated that "Naps vary depending on daily activities, but usually last 2-3 hours and children are allowed to stay awake but must remain quiet if they cannot sleep" This is very vague and I should've addressed this at first, but I understood "children are allowed to stay awake but must remain quiet" as - my child will be allowed to play quietly with other children his age while the younger ones sleep. When actually, it was "your child will lay there and do nothing for 2-3 hours while I take care of personal things". My son was allowed to "read a book" while laying there. He cannot read, and no book you give him will entertain him and keep him quiet for 2-3 hours, he is going to get bored, and he will want to get up, but you will lay him back down and tell him to hush and he will eventually fall asleep out of boredom.

I was angry at this provider because she was disrupting my son's normal sleep schedule so that she could take her break. I do not get this. Why are you expecting us to pay you when you are taking such a large break? This is just unacceptable. & yes, technically, the parents are your boss. We write your paychecks, so make sure you make your nap policy very clear, and make sure that it caters to children who are old enough to stay awake. Make sure you are making the parents happy, the children happy, and if you are not happy then maybe this isn't a good line of work for you.

You do not need such a large break, nobody needs a break like that. You do not need to make a child lay there so that you can accomplish things that every other parent/person-who-has-a-job makes time to accomplish on the weekends, or after work. That is just ridiculous, and I refuse to pay someone to take a break like that while my son is laying there.

[Meyou]

Ok, you're right about the contract thing. It was not explained well in this provider's contract.

She stated that "Naps vary depending on daily activities, but usually last 2-3 hours and children are allowed to stay awake but must remain quiet if they cannot sleep" This is very vague and I should've addressed this at first, but I understood "children are allowed to stay awake but must remain quiet" as - my child will be allowed to play quietly with other children his age while the younger ones sleep. When actually, it was "your child will lay there and do nothing for 2-3 hours while I take care of personal things". My son was allowed to "read a book" while laying there. He cannot read, and no book you give him will entertain him and keep him quiet for 2-3 hours, he is going to get bored, and he will want to get up, but you will lay him back down and tell him to hush and he will eventually fall asleep out of boredom.

I was angry at this provider because she was disrupting my son's normal sleep schedule so that she could take her break. I do not get this. Why are you expecting us to pay you when you are taking such a large break? This is just unacceptable. & yes, technically, the parents are your boss. We write your paychecks, so make sure you make your nap policy very clear, and make sure that it caters to children who are old enough to stay awake. Make sure you are making the parents happy, the children happy, and if you are not happy then maybe this isn't a good line of work for you.

You do not need such a large break, nobody needs a break like that. You do not need to make a child lay there so that you can accomplish things that every other parent/person-who-has-a-job makes time to accomplish on the weekends, or after work. That is just ridiculous, and I refuse to pay someone to take a break like that while my son is laying there.

During my HUGE "break" I normally do the following:

Dishes from lunch and the morning.
Clean the dining room. Wipe down table, chairs, sweep and mop.
Prep snack for the PM.
Sweep hallways and front entrance.
Clean DC bathroom.
Paperwork
Eat lunch
Sterilize any toys that were mouthed that morning.
Prep any craft materials for the next day.
Lay out jackets, hats, mitts and boots for pm walk.

Lots of time left there to eat bon bons and watch soap operas.

We also work 10+ hour days NOT 8 hour days like the majority of the Monday to Friday workforce. Some of us work 12+ hour days...something I couldn't do. We also work very long stretches with no break at all. How often at your job do you need to "hold it" until you nearly burst because you can't leave your desk. It happens daily in our profession.

I DO NOT work for you. I provide a service and you pay for that service under my terms. The onus is on you to make sure you understand those terms and ask questions. If you don't like the terms you need to look elsewhere for service that fits your needs.

I totally understand that you want your child to go to bed easily for you but your child needs a rest and your DCP deserves a break. With all due respect if your child is falling asleep then they're tired and need a nap. I've had true non-nappers and they don't fall asleep.

[nannyde]

HeI expect the providers to do what is best for my child, & I will be the one to tell you what is best for my child, thank you very much.

You say: I know my baby best and I know what's best for my baby.

I say: I know my business best and I know what's best for my business.

What's best for my business is a LONG full afternoon break. It wouldn't work for your baby that you know best but it does work for my business that I know best.

[Unregistered]

Sorry this is so long. If you take the time to read all of this, I'm impressed!

That IS really all it comes down to, that I need to find a provider who fits the needs of my child. But a lot of providers have these nap requirements, or "lay there for up to 3 hours" requirement. It made it difficult to find one that really didn't require that she take a long break. I understand that this is your business and you make the rules, I just don't understand how you expect to have happy customers, happy people that are willing to pay you and keep paying you, when you do not offer any services for children who do not need naps. No, my son does not need a nap. He will eventually fall asleep if he is made to lie quietly for such a long time. I would even do that, I guess I should make time at work for my three hour nap. I know you need time to clean up, do your paperwork, etc. But that should not take 2-3 hours, and you do not require that children sleep so that you can have that time. You make time as you go along.

I actually have hired a nanny to care for my son while I am at work, I ended that because I realized that I wanted my son to be around other kids, and get used to playing with kids his age. I completely understand that you need to take care of other things, but sometimes (all of the time, for me) these things need to be taken care of after work, or on the weekends. I take my work home with me every day; I work on it after I'd had time with my son, after he goes to sleep. On the weekends, I can stay up later after he falls asleep, because I do not have work the next day. I have worked 12 hour shifts. Before my son was born, I was at my office until 9pm sometimes. (I am an attorney and sometimes extensive research is required). I DID NOT take a 2-3 hour break. That is absurd. How would it be a 12 hour shift if I am taking a 3 hour break? That makes this a four hour shift, a long break, and then a five hour shift.

It is not required in my state that every child under a certain age have this quiet time. It is truly very difficult to find a provider that does not need this large break. I liked the "home-setting" and wanted an in-home daycare for him. This is not an option for us due to the nap thing, I refuse to change my son's great sleep schedule to accommodate a daycare. It is hard work to get a child on a sleep schedule, I will not be ruining that for the sake of someone's break. I am your client, you are not mine. I have my son in enrolled in a center now, as you know, this was not my first choice, but I am happy about it now. This center has a four year old class where the children do not have to rest quietly if they do not need to. My son does not get cranky and irritable due to the lack of a nap. He truly does not need a nap.

I don't appreciate anyone telling me that my child needs a nap after I have told them that he doesn't. I just want providers to PROVIDE what a child needs. This is the job you choose, you need to do that job. If you are unable to do that, your services are useless to me and I do not need you. Meaning, you will lose a client and lose money.