Question From a DCM

[Margarete]

I'm in CA also.

.....

Also if any adult (18+) is to be around the children at any time (other than legal guardians and parents etc) then those adults must be background checked and tested for TB, otherwise the adult shouldn't be in the home when the daycare children are present. If the boyfriend isn't around when the daycare children are in the home then nothing is needed of him. If he moves in then he must be TB tested and fingerprinted even if he won't be anywhere near the daycare children.
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This part isn't quite right in California, you can legally have people come in for specific tasks like repair work, or even a specific activity with the kids without being background checked as long as the time is limited, and they are NEVER left alone with the children.
If he is going to be there regularly, or over a certain number of hours a week, then yes, he needs to be background checked. I would think that it's reasonable to ask how much he is there, if he ever has a chance to be alone with the children, and if he has been background checked. This would give your provider a chance to respond, and hopefully put your mind at ease.

[Laurel]

I agree with most of what Moppetland said. It doesn't seem highly professional of this woman to be doing this so often and if she wants personal time maybe she should close for a day or so or wait until after work/weekends like others do. (I'll probably get blasted for my opinion)
I admit, I don't know your state laws. *IF* she's following all the rules, then go with your gut I guess. Does the assistant seem qualified? You said you like her. If I had my baby someplace else, I'd want to be as close to 100% sure as I could be. I would've made a horrible dcm. I probably would've questioned every single thing.

I never go on errands or to 'get a break'. I only go to a doctor's appointment and luckily I don't have many. Even then, my husband watches them (he is my legal sub) and I make my appointments at naptime so the children are sleeping. If the doctor is running late then he gives them snack and watches them but I try to make it as easy as possible for him. If I can make an appointment on Saturday I do. I have found a dentist who has some evening appointments and go then.

I know another provider who has no problem leaving a qualified sub with hers while she goes and has her hair done, etc. I just would never feel right doing that.

We do work longer hours than most but still....I just wouldn't feel right.

Laurel

[Play Care]

Admittedly, I use my sub so I can *occasionally* run errands or make appointments - however this is clearly spelled out in my contract, and the parent always knows what days my sub will be scheduled. That said, I am careful about what type of appointments and errands I make while the sub is here as I have had kids come to me when their provider overused their sub and was always at the Y working out during business hours (there were other issues with injuries happening while the sub was in charge) but something I keep in the back of my mind.

I see nothing wrong with the occasional errand/appt. so long as everyone knows what the deal is. It sounds as though this provider was not clear with the parent that she would not be there. There also seems to be some question if the person left with the children is legally allowed to be. That needs to be cleared up ASAP.

I realize that the provider is entitled to their own life, however I am uncomfortable that her boyfriend is "visiting" during dc. Why can't they visit/date after hours? I guess I've always felt that I needed to view what I do as a career/job and want others to view it the same way. I quickly nipped in the bud any family member who felt I could be their "bored at work" call or could stop by to visit/hand because I was "home" anyway...The only time I would welcome a visitor is if they were here to assist with the child care (legally) by giving a talk, helping with a special project, etc. I can't think of any job where one can have friends come to hang out.

I do think the OP is well within her right to ask for clarification on the providers policies. I think she needs to be prepared to find other care if she is unhappy with the answers.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I'm in CA also.

If your daycare provider has a large license and she has 8 children or less at that time then only one caregiver is required. If there are 9 children or more then two caregivers are required. The caregivers must all be fingerprinted, tested for TB. If the licensed caregiver (your childcare provider) leaves the children with an employee (her assistant) then the assistant also has to be CPR certified (at least one adult with CPR certification must be present at all times that children are present). If you ever arrive to the daycare and only one caregiver is present make sure that they have all of their qualifications and that there are no more than 8 children.

Also if any adult (18+) is to be around the children at any time (other than legal guardians and parents etc) then those adults must be background checked and tested for TB, otherwise the adult shouldn't be in the home when the daycare children are present. If the boyfriend isn't around when the daycare children are in the home then nothing is needed of him. If he moves in then he must be TB tested and fingerprinted even if he won't be anywhere near the daycare children.

Also the licensed provider can be away from the home and leave an assistant for 20% of the time as long as she meets all ratio requirements (if she has more than 8 children she leaves 2 assistants etc). You can break it down by 20% of the day, 20% of the week and 20% of a month etc. So for example if your provider is opened from 7am-6pm monday-friday then she can be away from the daycare home about two and a half hours a day, a day and a half in one week, a week in a month etc. as long as she leaves an assistant that has been fingerprinted and cleared by licensing, CPR certified TB tested.

If you feel that you are not comfortable with the childcare provider leaving at all or more than a certain amount of time or her having her boyfriend around your child and you feel you want to talk to her about it then you should definitely talk to her about it. If she decides that she doesn't want to change the behavior and but follows all licensing regulations then she has every right to make that decision. At that point then you have every right to choose to change daycare arrangements (but still according to your contract so make sure you give appropriate notice of termination if you decide to terminate).

I am glad someone in her state had the answer! In Ohio I must give parents written notice if I am not going to be here (unless it is an emergency and then as quickly as possible) and it must be my substitute provider. Sub must have CPR, first aid and the state childcare course.

[daycarediva]

I think you are being a little harsh. You really mean to tell me that you would feel comfortable leaving your baby in a house knowing there is some random man there that she has only been dating for a few weeks? I like her, I'm thankful I found someone that I feel comfortable dropping my first baby off with (even though I would love to stay home with) but just feel a little uncomfortable with the situation. I have not said anything to her because I know it's a fine line and don't want her reacting like some of you. Im not trying to tell her how to run her business. I simply just wanted some advice/opinions and boy did I get them. I guess I will not say anything and watch the situation. If I continue to feel uncomfortable, I will pull my baby. I was just thinking it might be better to address my concerns as adults, but since some of you got defensive (and u aren't even her) it's probably best not to.

I am going against everyone else here.

I would be ok with the backup provider as long as I had met her, the day care remained in ratio and the provider had gone through all of the background checks, etc that the state requires.

I would NOT be ok with random boyfriend being in the home during daycare hours. IMHO- this is highly unprofessional.

I am allowed per the state to have visitors, they must sign in and remain in my sight at all times, never alone with the kids, etc but they must also have a VALID reason for being in the program. A visiting BF does not constitute VALID, imo. During her free time, of course she is free to see/do/have over whomever she likes but while children are in care her focus should be ON the children.

I don't even allow my mother to come over during DC hours. Yes parents trust me and my judgment but I see it as; would it be acceptable for my mother to come visit me at work and stay to chat for a while, during my work hours? Of course not.

[daycarediva]

I realize that the provider is entitled to their own life, however I am uncomfortable that her boyfriend is "visiting" during dc. Why can't they visit/date after hours? I guess I've always felt that I needed to view what I do as a career/job and want others to view it the same way. I quickly nipped in the bud any family member who felt I could be their "bored at work" call or could stop by to visit/hand because I was "home" anyway...The only time I would welcome a visitor is if they were here to assist with the child care (legally) by giving a talk, helping with a special project, etc. I can't think of any job where one can have friends come to hang out.

I do think the OP is well within her right to ask for clarification on the providers policies. I think she needs to be prepared to find other care if she is unhappy with the answers.

[countrymom]

first, if you made the contract with the provider than the provider should be there not the helper. I do understand that things do come up and the provider may not be there but the helper should not be there all day everyday taking care of these children all by herself when the contract was signed with someone else.

second, I know someone who is a provider and does this all the time. She goes shopping, getting her nails done, her hair done, things that can be done on the weekend or after work (she works till 5pm) instead, she leaves all day and the helper is in charge of the kids.

she goes thru alot of helpers, this is a big red flag for me. did you ask how long her helper has been with her.

well, one time she wasn't home and the inspector showed up at her door and only her helper was home. She was so over the limit it was crazy. The provider showed up 2 hours later from shopping, but the inspector waited. She also got lectured on not leaving her helper all day by herself.

like I said, some times you need to leave during the day for an appointment or to do something, but if the provider is gone all day and you are not informed then i would look elsewhere.

[blandino]

I want to clarify my responses, in light of the recent direction of this thread. In my state, the assistant caregiver requires MUCH more qualifications than any substitute caregiver.

[Willow]

As someone who did date while providing licensed care - ABSOLUTELY it was my daycare families business.

I didn't need to be prompted, he was background checked and I shared the results with my families without hesitation even though at best he'd be around outside with MY kids an hour or so before close on Fridays if he arrived early. Everyone requested to meet him and we accommodated that.

I didn't take the skepticism as some sort of dig on the trust we had built because I myself would have had the same concerns. They grew to think he was an awesome addition to our family, supported our relationship, and ultimately most attended our wedding (the others didn't only because of the distance) but I would have NEVER taken that for granted or as a given.


Bottom line is, parents hear all kinds of garbage on the evening news about other people's children getting hurt. The good ones WILL NOT just take someone's word when it comes to the safety of the own. As a provider I think there needs to be some respect and understanding for that.

I wouldn't have been offended, I have no idea why anyone else is in these situations either.

[Play Care]

I want to clarify my responses, in light of the recent direction of this thread. In my state, the assistant caregiver requires MUCH more qualifications than any substitute caregiver.

I think this touches on an important distinction - in my state a sub has to have their background checked,be fingerprinted, and have current First Aid/CPR. They are only allowed so many hours per year to be in charge of the kids.
An assistant has almost the same qualifications as the day care provider. The rules for their use/ hours are not as restricted. I could have an assistant cover say, a maternity leave, a sub could not (too many hours) In our state they want to stress the sub as *very* occasional.

[renodeb]

With all the bad press daycares are getting in the press you have a perfect right to know who is around your baby. Is he a live in bf? If you were told that the asst and her work together and that's not the case then I would bring up the concern. It is her responsibility to comply with all state regs. I would talk to her about these concerns. Just approach it as a concerned parent. I personally don't have an asst (except for my hubby who is all printed and everything) but if you are feeling red flags, don't let it fester to long!
Deb

[Meeko]

I want to clarify my responses, in light of the recent direction of this thread. In my state, the assistant caregiver requires MUCH more qualifications than any substitute caregiver.

Here too. The assistant has exactly the same clearances and same amount of yearly training as the licensee.

An assistant and a sub are two completely different things.

[Unregistered]

I would bring to her attention... that within the last two weeks she was gone at least three times and ask her if everything is ok. I would be ok with my parents doing that. Maybe she has had some doctor visits or dentist.

She did tell you she would be the main person, BUT she does have an assistant that will care for the children in her absence. I think that will ease your mind, and you should be able to have good communication with your provider. As for her friend or bf, that is strictly her business imo. Since it's a home, I would assume there will be visitors from friends, and relatives. Hence deciding a home daycare versus a public one. Sorry but her personal life is off limits, unless this person is watching the children.

If a provider makes it clear in the beginning that they have an assistant for backup, and you agree...well 3 times in two weeks is not a whole lot.