Daycare and Religion

[Starburst]

Why would you expect more out of me?

I am not the playroom monitor.

I am a moderator, not the opinion police.

I often ignore many ignorant or uneducated posts simply to NOT add fuel to the fire.

The sister wives thread was closed due to the fact that it was started by a member of this forum with the SOLE intention of stirring the pot and creating unnecessary drama.

Also WHY a thread is closed, really isn't discussed openly among all the forum members as sometimes it really isn't any of anyone's business other than the moderators and Michael.

What gives you the impression that it is my job to make sure rumors aren't being spread? That is an odd comment.

The members of this forum are grown women who ALL have opinions. Where the word rumor came from, or the fact that I am suppose to do something about them is confusing.

If someone makes a comment that offends you, either report the post to any of the moderators Michael or use the red/yellow flags on the top right of the posting box.

This lets mods and admin know you are offended by something.

Other than that, you are on your own as far as whether you are insulted or offended by something someone posts. Either ignore, their comment, report it or say something to them.

I don't read every single post that is posted on the forum. I also know for a fact that the member who made the turtle comment was being sarcastic and wasn't being serious at all. I take that into consideration too.

How is saying Muslims kill turtles an opinion? That's offensive to both Muslims and animal lovers. I didn't say it was your job to prevent rumors but I get jumped on when I say something I think is a state rule and yet its okay to make false racist remarks? And she admitted that she likes to say things just to make people mad, its one thing to just wonder what people would think but that comment was just a little too far. and I have put them on my ignore list them that's why I am not even responding to them anymore.

[daycare]

I am Muslim. And all of this is complete nonsense and exactly why I never make time for this form.

I intended to come here to return a favor to someone. Yes I didn't need to read this I could have ingnored it. But this really blew my mind.

What ever happened to good threads with good information. ??
Ugh who cares. It seems this form should be called debate.com.

Does not sound like anything to do with care at all.

But what do I know?????

[spud912]

WOW!!!!



Well since all of the silliness has already been added to this topic (and by the way, thank you for nap time entertainment ).....

As a parent, I just wanted to add that I personally would most likely enroll my child somewhere where the provider(s) have similar beliefs to us because children in daycare spend almost equivalent awake time in the daycare setting as they do at home. That's not to say that this woman would not be fine or even successful in what she does!

As a daycare provider, it sounds bad but I usually end up with children in my care whose parents either are more lax with religion or they are Christians. Not that I wouldn't enroll other children...it would add to the diversity! But I'm pretty sure prospective families are turned off by all the holidays I celebrate (which is essentially everything....with having the same routine everyday, I love making as many days as different as possible with celebrations of one kind or another!). I even try to add celebrations for different cultures, although they usually don't end up very big since I don't know enough about what they do.

[Lyss]

nm... not worth it

[Blackcat31]

How is saying Muslims kill turtles an opinion? That's offensive to both Muslims and animal lovers.

Then please report the post by using the red/yellow flags in the top right corner.

I didn't make a big deal out of what she said because quite frankly, I read it in context to the whole thread and KNEW she was simply being sarcastic.

It may very well be offensive to both Muslims and animal lovers (which I am one of those things) but rather than continue arguing and debating back and forth, I chose to walk away and move on.

I didn't say it was your job to prevent rumors but I get jumped on when I say something I think is a state rule and yet its okay to make false racist remarks?

You didn't say it was my job but you did say "Isn't she supposed to make sure that everyone is not spreading rumors? But it seems like she is just egging it on." to which I replied that no, I am not suppose to making sure that everyone is not spreading rumors. That isn't my responsibility. We are all grown ups here.

I am also NOT egging it on..... I am simply choosing to not make an argument about everything others think, say and feel. I am being an adult

As for you getting jumped on for making statements about what is and isn't a state rule in California....I had nothing to do with that thread. I don't live in California and don't know anything about California state rules....not sure what that part has to do with me.

If you are thinking that I should have stepped in when you "got jumped on" (your words), then you should have PM'ed me or reported those posters you felt "jumped on" you.

fwiw~ You didn't say you "think" it was a rule, you said it as if it were factual and true. Whether it was or wasn't is neither here nor there, just that the person who disagreed with you thought differently....I wouldn't really classify that as being "jumped on" though.

[Starburst]

fwiw~ You didn't say you "think" it was a rule, you said it as if it were factual and true. Whether it was or wasn't is neither here nor there, just that the person who disagreed with you thought differently....I wouldn't really classify that as being "jumped on" though.

At the time I didn't say "I think this is a rule" because I thought it was a rule. If I thought it was a legal rule, why would I need to say "I think its a rule" if I thought it was a fact? Would you say "I think its against the law to drink and drive"? No, you would just say "Drinking and driving is illegal" KWIM?

And yes I do feel I was being jumped on to an extent because there was comments that had nothing to do with the main point where someone was just trying to find something unimportant to make an issues out of (as stated in my previous post on this thread).

But I guess people will believe what they want to believe. Sometimes I just feel there is a favoritism where certain members cannot do anything wrong and they get special treatment or consideration.

[Blackcat31]

At the time I didn't say "I think this is a rule" because I thought it was a rule. If I thought it was a legal rule, why would I need to say "I think its a rule" if I thought it was a fact? Would you say "I think its against the law to drink and drive"? No, you would just say "Drinking and driving is illegal" KWIM?

And yes I do feel I was being jumped on to an extent because there was comments that had nothing to do with the main point where someone was just trying to find something unimportant to make an issues out of (as stated in my previous post on this thread)..

...again, this is not my argument. I had no dog in that fight.

I am sorry you felt jumped on. I am not really sure what I am suppose to do about that though. fwiw, I AM sorry but I didn't "jump" all over you.

But I guess people will believe what they want to believe. Sometimes I just feel there is a favoritism where certain members cannot do anything wrong and they get special treatment or consideration.

Yes, you are right....some people will continue to believe what they believe and no amount of explanation or added information will change their minds. and I cannot change that.

You are also probably very correct in feeling that some posters get special treatment verses others but there is a pretty good reason for that.

It's called reputation.

Some members have been on this board for years. They have contributed their 2 cents, their opinions, thoughts and comments for many years.
They have formed relationships with others and have connected with others through common interests and personality types.

They have built a reputation among the members of the board. Often times one they deserve and shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed about.

If you plan on hanging around here for a long time, you will see how that happens.
Long term members get respect for the time and effort they have put into building this forum into what it is.

New members have to work at it a bit more. Is that fair? I don't know but most things in life work the same way.

Everyone starts somewhere and where they wish to go or end up is completely up to them. If they want to stick around here and continue commenting, supporting and connecting to others, they WILL earn respect and a little more lea way compared to newbies simply because they have earned it.

The 11,000+ posts I have made on this forum aren't just me making off handed remarks and snarky comments () but are representative of my time spent here contributing, supporting and helping other members on this board for the last 2.5 years.

So yes, some members probably DO get by with a little more than others but that is just the way it works sometimes.....

I hope that makes sense as I really don't know how else to explain it.

[Starbust]

I am at a public computer right now so I don't feel like signing in because I am going to leave in a minute but I understand that overtime people earn a certain reputation, but I don't think that should exclude them from the rules of the forum.

And because I am not signed in I can see youretoolounds and willows comment:
Youretooloud: I don't have anything against jokes but its about comments that sound like general assumptions about a group of people I had a problem with. I was born in 1991 and never heard of an event you are discribing and maybe I did take it out of context because I wasn't aware of that happening but you didn't say anything about a praticular group of people who happened to be muslims it was: "I heard Muslims kill turtles and make them repeat satanic chants" like all muslims do that. If it was one particular group that is one thing but if your outing a whole entire religion like that that I have an issue with. That comes off as stereotyping to me. And when I said that comment about I would want to take a kid to a place I heard a teacher talking like that I meant when they are talking badly about a group of people based on random things that not all people in that group do- I wouldn't want a kid to have a preconsived notion on any group of people based on something they heard that may or may not be true. Its like saying "I hear white people are cannibals" because they saw on the news someone who was a cannibal and they happened to be white, KWIM?

And Willow just because I am not currently married (for the record my bf and I are waiting until we both finish college to get married) and don't have kids doesn't mean I am not entitled to my own opinions about how I would ideally raise my future kids- I understand that the world is not perfect and not everything goes according to plan but there are some things that I would be able to control. Sorry if you don't like the fact that I want to make sure I get my schooling done and start my business before I have kids because I know what its like to grow up in a broke family where no one has their stuff together. So your whole point about not juding just completely lost any credibility in my eyes because it seems like you always judge me because I do not have kids- yes I may not no what its like to be a parent of a child but I know what its like to be the kid that has to grow up too fast and take care of a younger sibling so they can have a chance to be a kid and sometimes having to act like my own mother's parent. Not everyone who has kids is responsible and not everyone who doesn't have kids is irresponsible.

[youretooloud]

Youretooloud: I was born in 1991 and never heard of an event you are discribing and maybe I did take it out of context because I wasn't aware of that happening but you didn't say anything about a praticular group of people who happened to be muslims it was: "I heard Muslims kill turtles and make them repeat satanic chants" like all muslims do that. If it was one particular group that is one thing but if your outing a whole entire religion like that that I have an issue with. That comes off as stereotyping to me.

O.K... I agree. You are WAY too young to know about the 80s daycare nightmare. I highly doubt they even teach that in college. I DID write that comment assuming everybody in the entire world is my age. So, I completely apologize for thinking people would remember it or know about it.

BUT, it never, ever had anything at all to do with the Muslim faith. I was being sarcastic because someone else said "So, you are saying Muslims are Satan worshipers?" Which, obviously, I know they are not. So, I was being facetious when I said "We are just one horror story away from calling them Evil". (or something to that effect)

As I said in my first response up there, almost my entire group of families is Muslim. A large majority of my town is Muslim. There is a huge Mosque on the hill near my house. It's gold and shiny...can't miss it. I know, like and respect all of my Muslim neighbors. I do not think they are evil, or worship Satan.

But, I did unfairly get ugly at you, not realizing your age, and assuming you would understand something that happened when your parents were probably barely out of high school.

FYI, the McMartin trials, and others like it are one reason some daycare centers prefer not to hire men, and why we can't wipe kid's bottoms without being afraid of how it will look to someone else. It's why a lot of privately owned daycare centers closed their doors, or sold to larger chain daycares.

It was at the time, the longest, most expensive trial in America's history.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McMartin_preschool_trial

[Lyss]

That's great! Someday if or when you finally have a child you sure will be able to make those sorts of decisions!!!

Just like any other parent does regarding things like the philosophies, beliefs and core values of the people they choose to leave their children in the care of!!!!!

And Willow just because I am not currently married (for the record my bf and I are waiting until we both finish college to get married) and don't have kids doesn't mean I am not entitled to my own opinions about how I would ideally raise my future kids- I understand that the world is not perfect and not everything goes according to plan but there are some things that I would be able to control. Sorry if you don't like the fact that I want to make sure I get my schooling done and start my business before I have kids because I know what its like to grow up in a broke family where no one has their stuff together. So your whole point about not juding just completely lost any credibility in my eyes because it seems like you always judge me because I do not have kids- yes I may not no what its like to be a parent of a child but I know what its like to be the kid that has to grow up too fast and take care of a younger sibling so they can have a chance to be a kid and sometimes having to act like my own mother's parent. Not everyone who has kids is responsible and not everyone who doesn't have kids is irresponsible.

Holy bananas, I see nothing judging your personal situation (upbringing, education, economical status, marital status) or that you were irresponsible.

Willow made a comment about why she wouldn't place her kids in OP situation and it turned into her being a bigot and comparing Muslims to Satanists.

What I read from her comment quoted above was that you can use your beliefs and ideas to choose what things you want to expose your children too down the line when you have them, just as she posted about her choice for her kids. Its your right, just as it is her right to decided what she wants for her kids. Each family make their own choices.

[Blackcat31]

I am at a public computer right now so I don't feel like signing in because I am going to leave in a minute but I understand that overtime people earn a certain reputation, but I don't think that should exclude them from the rules of the forum.

I hear and understand what you are saying but no one has broken any forum rules that I am aware of.

The "special treatment I was talking about was a wider acceptance and deeper understanding of each other's thoughts, opinions, comments, personalities and quirks.

When someone like Yourtooloud for example posts a single sentence, those of us who know her are more apt to understand what her point or meaning was where as you could post the same sentence and I'd have no clue in what conrtext you meant it because I don't know if you are a serious person who gets offended easily or if you are a light hearted person that is quick to let things roll off your back.

That's the only "special" I know of that some members get away with.

If you feel that anyone has out right broken a forum rule, then report it to one of the mods, Michael or use the red/yellow flags. Nothing can get addressed or fixed if you dont follow the forum rules yourself and report things according to those rules.

[bunnyslippers]

Of course. That's exactly what I am saying because I am THAT level of stupid.

I hate everyone who is not Christian even though I don't adhere to those beliefs myself......I am completely convinced everyone else worships the devil but me

This just made me laugh, literally, out loud.

[My3cents]

Children are going to be more influenced by how you act and live then what you say and tell them.

I don't know about this-

I think they both go hand and hand or the opposite ways.

Have mixed feelings on this one and can't seem to articulate my point either at this point.

[My3cents]

I take no offense when people discover I am not a woman running my daycare Though I am sure I would have more kids by now if I were.

I don't think you being a male has much to do with how many kids you have or don't have. I have seen many males that run a wonderful program and are very successful at it and sought out after. Mary Applebaum's son is one of them.

I think if you have issues getting kids it is your lack of experience/confidence and maybe your program and daycare space that is not attracting clients. I am guessing this but I don't think it has as much to do with you being a male.

Dave you know I say this with heart and not tone-

[My3cents]

I read it all. I just find it interesting that she was the one saying: "You are comparing apple's to green beans..." and then jumped to this. How do you jump from Muslims to Satanists (especially after a comment like that)? How would you know someone is a Satanist? It's not always that obvious because not all of them have horns, wear dark robes, and have pentagrams drawn on their living room floors. But if someone wore a cross or a hijab its easier to know what their faith is.

Willow has done the same exact thing to me, I just mentioned aspirin once in a HYPOTHETICAL situation as an example of needing parental permission to give medication to a child (the sunscreen thread) and she went on about it saying "you should never give aspirin to a child" or "why did you mention aspirin? why not Tylenol?" on that post and once it was settled she found something else I said to start up another issue with. And BC you did the same thing to me on the thread about providers on prescription pills when you asked me "are you saying that people in wheelchairs cannot be good providers?" when I was talking about my main issue being that the provider had chronic back problems and I was trying to make a point that overtime caring for young children will hurt your back even more. She did not say that she was in a wheelchair, and not everyone in wheelchairs have back problems-that's a stereotype. How come it's okay for you guys to do that but not me? I just want to make sure you are being clear and that I am not misinterpreting your comments.

and yourtooloud I am not trying to start an "Absurd" argument; as Willow said to me once on here "you have to be careful what you say on here, people take things you say as life or death" (same sunscreen thread). Don't people take religion as life or death? I am not trying to start up drama, I just want to know what she meant by her comment. And why should I have to hide as an unregistered guest when I am just speaking my mind? I am not just someone who is bored and decided to start a fake thread (or trolling) just to get a rise out of people. Am I not entitled to my own opinions? If I want to leave myself open for ridicule by standing up for something then that is my choice. Willow is sharing her opinions I am just trying to make sure I fully understand the point she is making.

If your going to stand up and open yourself up for ridicule then be ready to take the heat. That is how society works. Take the heat with out bashing and be able to say your piece with out having to stir up a pot that causes all of this....... own it and move on and be nice along the way