How Do I Leave a Group?

[Michelle]

I'm a mod. I saw it and I commented on that thread about it.

Honestly I don't even do much anymore as a mod now that Michael has changed the format for unregistered to post.

Before I used to maintain spam control, but now it does not exists.
I for one have never and would never even think about trying to play investigation to try and find out who's posting unregistered

I post unregistered at times because I want "some" privacy, so I feel that I should owe that same respect to others as well and leave them be

To my knowledge if any of the mods on here were abusing their mod privileges I know Michael would remove their status.

[Lyss]

If I was seeing Mods post on "anonymous" thread calling out the poster I can understand being upset, but I haven't seen that so I don't understand the tangent this thread has taken.

I'm curious as to who all the moderators are, and exactly what member information they have access to?

It seems like there are quite a few moderators here.

I don't really see what the big deal is. Its not like we enter a SSN or bank account # to register. Anyone can see what you're doing when you click on someone's profile (It tells you what thread they are viewing, what thread they are posting, when they are modifying a post...) or can search your name and find all your posts.

(PS No snarky tone going on here ^ just adding my 2cents)

That is so not true ::. My DH participates on a couple of forums and those guys are worse than any group of women ::.

:::: My DH just got into it on some Facebook forum with a few other guys over one thing that led to another and another... I swear it took like 45 minutes of back and forth before DH said I'm over this. Of course the next day he was back responding to some of the things posted after he was "done" ::

I'm a mod. I saw it and I commented on that thread about it.

Honestly I don't even do much anymore as a mod now that Michael has changed the format for unregistered to post.

Before I used to maintain spam control, but now it does not exists.
I for one have never and would never even think about trying to play investigation to try and find out who's posting unregistered

I post unregistered at times because I want "some" privacy, so I feel that I should owe that same respect to others as well and leave them be

To my knowledge if any of the mods on here were abusing their mod privileges I know Michael would remove their status.

[MyAngels]

I don't really see what the big deal is. Its not like we enter a SSN or bank account # to register. Anyone can see what you're doing when you click on someone's profile (It tells you what thread they are viewing, what thread they are posting, when they are modifying a post...) or can search your name and find all your posts.

(PS No snarky tone going on here ^ just adding my 2cents)

I really am just curious. I don't even remember what info I gave when I signed up, but given my private nature it probably wasn't my "real" info anyway ::.

There has been talk here at times that moderators "know" who's really posting and I'm just curious as to what that actually means.

[Blackcat31]

I completely believe you when you say you would never reveal someone's identity. The following is not necessarily directed at Blackcat, as I can't remember who the mod was that I'm about to talk about, and it doesn't matter. Actually, I couldn't even tell you offhand who the mods even are!

Ok, while I wouldn't use the words "rude" and "condescending", necessarily, it did strike me as a tad bit cringe-worthy on a past thread (sorry, cannot for the life of me remember the topic, but it was within the last couple weeks... I think?) when a mod went on and on (in MY opinion it was on and on... I'm sure the mod didn't feel like it was) about how, with research and some sleuthing, they can figure out who an anonymous poster is.

I was almost embarrassed for "Anonymous" by it all. Who cares??!!?? Congratulations that you have that power, but it really shined a bright light in Anonymous's face and, I bet, made the majority of readers very curious as to who she was. Probably to the point of PM'ing a mod to ask if she'd spill the beans.

We shouldn't focus on trying to see behind their mask. That isn't why they asked a question or brought up a subject. If I posted something anonymously, it would really embarrass me to know that the mods were checking me out trying to discover my hidden identity. Give them the privacy they are clearly asking for.

I didn't want to say anything at the time, but since someone brought it up here, I know I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

Off the soapbox. Just wanted to say what I felt, that's all.

Lucy~ That WAS me you are referring to. It was NOT posted in the context in which you are referring to though. I was NOT condescending, rude or going on and on.....
I replied IN RESPONSE to another poster who asked:

I signed in just for funsies...that unreg you quoted was me...I do wonder though how it shows up to the mods...IP's wouldn't be really easy to match...neither would location...Tell us mods...how does it show for you?

My response back was this:

Well, it isn't like a flashing neon sign or anything but when a topic is posted by an unregistered user and the topic has the potential to be controversial or dramatic, we (mods) take clues and cues from the post.

We pay attention to words they normally misspell or use incorrectly, to speech patterns and tempo as well as tone.

Those are VERY identifiable details sometimes.

9 out of 10 times we (mods) simply suspect but if the suspicion is strong enough, we can do a little cross referencing and a little more cross referencing and after a little research and a little bit of guessing, it usually becomes obvious.

So just to clarify, that is the method in which I personally use to figure out who someone is. My point in that post was that there is no big flashing sign that just says "Hey! this unregistered poster is so and so". It's NOT as black and white as you think.

However, YOU better than anyone knows full well that a member of this board does not have to be a moderator to do the same thing and figure out who someone is.

I also want to point out that the only reason the moderator conversation happened in that thread is because someone posted a controversial topic that had the potential to be super dramatic (prescription drug use etc) and everyone thought it was a troll. You said you were almost embarrassed for the anonymous poster.....and I would have been too, had I believed the OP of that thread was for real and NOT a troll....kwim?

We all know how trolls operate on forums..... I think that being a moderator is fun sometimes but other times, it isn't so fun because we take a lot of flack from others that don't really understand everything we do to keep things running smooth behind on the board.

Every unregistered poster is NOT simply a member in disguise looking for privacy. A lot of times, they are simply trolls looking to stir up drama and as a moderator it is my job to intercept that so that we don't have a free for all.

I am sorry if you all feel that is unfair in some way but I can't change how public forums work/operate but I do know that all of them have moderators for similar purposes.

I hope that answers your questions.

I have always made a point of trying to be as helpful and as neutral as possible as a member and as a moderator of this board. I try to be accommodating, supportive, friendly and welcoming. I try to do what moderators are suppose to do WHILE trying to maintain a place on this board as a regular member as well.

That is why my title, doesn't say moderator under my user name. Originally, I wanted posters to know I was just like them and didn't want replies or responses to me to be different or weird just because I am a moderator. Sometimes that has a tendency to make people treat me different and not be open or forthright.

The other moderators are:
SilverSabre25
FormerTeacher
Daycare
Breezy


As far as respect to unregistered posters goes....I feel that I have always gone out of my way to be supportive of unregistered posters because most members here tend to go off on them as if they are all trolls. The only unregistered posters that are treated with immediate respect are those that say "I am a regular member but logged out for privacy". Otherwise, it seems "troll!" is immediately thrown out into the thread.

I also made some comments to the unregistered poster in the prescription drug thread within the thread because as an unregistered poster, I couldn't very well send them a PM since they are unregistered.... kwim?

Anyways.....I don't really know what else to say beside no one knows who anyone is other than their IP address, which isn't always accurate or identifiable and other than your user name.....there is NO other information about you (as a member here) that moderators have access to.

Moderators do NOT know your real name, your daycare name, address or anything similar to that. Depending on whether or not you clicked the box in your UserCP, your e-mail address and birth date MAY be available too but ONLY if YOU put the info out there.

I really hope this clear up any confusion that has been going on.

If anyone has any other questions, I would be happy to answer them, within this thread or in a PM if you don't feel comfortable asking publically.


(Lucy~ this entire post/reply was not directed at you....I just wanted to clarify some things you mentioned)

[Former Teacher]

I, too, need to throw my 2 cents in as a moderator.

The purpose of my asking to become a moderator was to help weed out the spam that I was constantly seeing. Plus I thought it was cool that I could tell my friends etc.. "hey I am a moderator of a daycare forum!"

Now to be honest: when I became a moderator (I think 3-4 years ago I think) I have only TWICE now actually looked up who an unregistered person is. This thread was one of them. I honestly thought this was a pure troll "stirring up the pot". I honestly also don't believe most unregistered. Even if they do start out by saying "I am a member blah blah" Any "troll" can say that.

That being said: I do not respond to unregistered. As we on the forum say- I don't feed the troll. I only responded to this one because I wanted to tell everyone that I thought it was a person who wanted to get all of us riled up. Which apparently it has! ::

[Country Kids]

I thought mods knew the state/area we lived in though because of the IP address or something like that?

Even in that thread, a poster asked the mods not to ever give the information out on them so I think thats why members became concerned with what had been said by the mods.

[Crystal]

Good Grief :confused:

[Former Teacher]

I thought mods knew the state/area we lived in though because of the IP address or something like that?

Even in that thread, a poster asked the mods not to ever give the information out on them so I think that put members on high alert with what had been said by the mods.

Like I said I have only looked up an unregistered twice. Both times it smelled troll all the way.

Like BC said we can only identify you by your IP address-which isn't always reliable. Your IP address is shown and then matches to the user name.

For the record: I have never have and never will reveal an unregistered poster. I myself have posted several times. I may not respond to unregistered but I have posted by unregistered happyface

[Blackcat31]

I thought mods knew the state/area we lived in though because of the IP address or something like that?

Even in that thread, a poster asked the mods not to ever give the information out on them so I think that put members on high alert with what had been said by the mods.

High alert for what?? Do you have some deep dark secret that you are worried about? Some secret identity? Are you in the witness protection program? Just curious why it is such a big deal?

Your IP address doesn't accurately tell anyone anything. Depending on what site you use to check someone's IP address, it can be really close or r e a l l y f a r o f f .

The poster you are referring to was My3cents and what she said was

BlackCat and any other Mod- I know that you know my personal information but if you ever used that against me or made that public information. I would be done with these boards for good.

She also said:

Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure me out, I am queen of the run on sentence, and repeat of the same information. When I am in a hurry everything is just the way it comes out. I often type so fast that I skip a letter and then often times I am interrupted with this and that, so I start a response and don't finish it until later in the day. My kiddo's come first. I guess I am saying I don't know what the ruckus is about with mods saying they know who everyone is...... I am not the original poster. Anyway back to work for me.....ugh....

so I am confused as to what your point is Country Kids?

I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR YOUR ADDRESS OR YOUR BIRTHDAY OR ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD PEOPLE OR POSTED ON THE FORUM YOURSELF.

Sheesh~ I don't think I can be any clearer.

[Play Care]

I completely believe you when you say you would never reveal someone's identity. The following is not necessarily directed at Blackcat, as I can't remember who the mod was that I'm about to talk about, and it doesn't matter. Actually, I couldn't even tell you offhand who the mods even are!

Ok, while I wouldn't use the words "rude" and "condescending", necessarily, it did strike me as a tad bit cringe-worthy on a past thread (sorry, cannot for the life of me remember the topic, but it was within the last couple weeks... I think?) when a mod went on and on (in MY opinion it was on and on... I'm sure the mod didn't feel like it was) about how, with research and some sleuthing, they can figure out who an anonymous poster is.

I was almost embarrassed for "Anonymous" by it all. Who cares??!!?? Congratulations that you have that power, but it really shined a bright light in Anonymous's face and, I bet, made the majority of readers very curious as to who she was. Probably to the point of PM'ing a mod to ask if she'd spill the beans.

We shouldn't focus on trying to see behind their mask. That isn't why they asked a question or brought up a subject. If I posted something anonymously, it would really embarrass me to know that the mods were checking me out trying to discover my hidden identity. Give them the privacy they are clearly asking for.

I didn't want to say anything at the time, but since someone brought it up here, I know I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

Off the soapbox. Just wanted to say what I felt, that's all.

[Lyss]

Your IP address doesn't accurately tell anyone anything. Depending on what site you use to check someone's IP address, it can be really close or r e a l l y f a r o f f

Mine is often very far off I've noticed. It usually puts me in a totally different state! :: That said it's often the same one, but if I was that concerned I know how to change it and would do it.


I just think this is a waste of time, debating about the moderators that is. Complain/question now but then send out the PMs when "you" (in the general sense, not directed at anyone) want a thread locked or a title changed.

Plus it's our personal responsibly to monitor what information we post online when we register somewhere or post something. I'm sure most of us know way more about other users than what they entered when registering because its been posted in a public post on a public forum.

[Blackcat31]

Mine is often very far off I've noticed. It usually puts me in a totally different state! ::


I just think this is a waste of time, debating about the moderators that is. Complain/question now but then send out the PMs when "you" (in the general sense, not directed at anyone) want a thread locked or a title changed.

Plus it's our personal responsibly to monitor what information we post online when we register somewhere or post something. I'm sure most of us know way more about other users than what they entered when registering because its been posted in a public post on a public forum.

This^^

If anyone is worried about what personal info is "known" to others then be careful what YOU write. (general YOU)

Be careful of YOUR words and what YOU put out there.

Many members here have shared their web-sites, daycare names, links to news articles in their areas, stated their locations, identified members they know in real life, etc etc etc etc....

If ANYONE was really bored, all they would have to do is read the archives of this forum, read someone's past posts and they can see ALL sorts of stuff people have randomly posted about themselves.

I am NOT saying everyone posts personal stuff but some people do (and then act surprised when others know where/who they are)

If YOU want to remain 100% anonymous at ALL times, then get off the internet.

Personally I don't feel I ever post anything that would make me nervous that someone else "might" find out.
I never say anything about daycare families or kids that I haven't already said to a parent.

I post about my licensor and KNOW she visits this site sometimes because I told her about it. I don't post derogatory things about anyone. If I offend anyone, well I will apologize if it was unintentional and stand by it if I meant it.

Who I am as Blackcat is who I am in real life.

[Country Kids]

I have changed the wording from "High Alert" to "concerned" in my post. Sorry for the wrong wording.

My point: The posts saying mods know unregistered posters is where the concern came from for members to be concerned. In My3cents posts she started with addressing to the mods that she would be done if anything was given out-sounds like a concern. She then went on to say not hard to figure her out but to me the first part sound like a concern.

Bc and Silver had posted earlier in that particular thread that mods could tell who unregistered posters were and then the longer thread on it. Once again that probably caused some concern.

Several posters on this thread have put they didn't like how mods let unregisters know who they are-sounds like a concern. It must have been something they have seen possibly more then once to have that feeling but maybe it just took the one time.

Yes, we are on a public forum and nothing is a secret but if someone is posting unregistered why even say mods know who people are. Just let them post anon and go from there.

Sorry for not making my previous post clearer and I hope my point is clearer.
On to have a great and wonderful sunny day!

[daycaremum]

This is an annoying thread. It's annoying because the question of how to leave a group is just, well, unnecessary. Just don't come back. Go to your member info and delete it. Delete all your previous posts.
Secondly, if you feel the need to announce to the entire forum that you are leaving, why wouldn't you log in as yourself. What difference does it make to everyone that "unregistered" is leaving. No one knows who you are so no one can be prepared for not hearing from you anymore. A simpler thing would have been to privately message a moderator and tell them and ask them any questions you had.
Thirdly, as far as people knowing your personal information, that's all on each individual. This is the internet, everything you ever type, picture you post, anywhere is out there and accessible by anyone who may want to see it or have the knowledge on how to access it. I'm pretty sure the Moderators are trying to say that they just know who is posting as unregistered. As in that if I posted as unregistered they would know it was Daycaremum, that's it, not that they knew every little personal detail about me!!
People have to know that even in closed sites, people can copy and paste anything you've typed, take a screen shot, even take a photo of their computer screen!! What you type and post is out there, don't kid yourself that there are any truly "private" sites.
This whole thread is strange.

[Blackcat31]

I have changed the wording from "High Alert" to "concerned" in my post. Sorry for the wrong wording.

My point: The posts saying mods know unregistered posters is where the concern came from for members to be concerned. In My3cents posts she started with addressing to the mods that she would be done if anything was given out-sounds like a concern. She then went on to say not hard to figure her out but to me the first part sound like a concern.

Bc and Silver had posted earlier in that particular thread that mods could tell who unregistered posters were and then the longer thread on it. Once again that probably caused some concern.

Concern from who? You are the only one who has mentioned concern or being on high alert.

Again, My3cents was NOT concerned, worried or on high alert. She said so herself.

Several posters on this thread have put they didn't like how mods let unregisters know who they are-sounds like a concern. It must have been something they have seen possibly more then once to have that feeling but maybe it just took the one time.

I already explained that several times. Please read my response to Lucy.

I can't PM someone who is unregistered so it had to be posted in the thread. You also cannot take that thread as one example of how unregistered posters are dealt with or managed because as I ALREADY said, the unregistered was a registered member trolling or looking for drama!

Would you have been happier had the member just been able to make a dramatic post and have everyone take the time to read, ask, answer and make a big deal out of a post that was just unnecessary drama??
I think most of us have better things to do than to spend our time discussing made up scenarios about doing drugs and being a sister wife.

There is a reason why those kinds of posts are dramatic and why the poster's of those threads are called trolls.

Yes, we are on a public forum and nothing is a secret but if someone is posting unregistered why even say mods know who people are. Just let them post anon and go from there. .

Not every thread posted by unregistered posters has a moderator in it telling everyone "we know who you are!!" Just that one thread you keep bringing up.

Which was ONE thread! One that was also NOT your typical unregistered poster.

Also, AGAIN....I mentioned it within the thread that I knew how to tell who people are because the poster was unregistered and I cannot PM an unregistered poster!

....and just because I suspect someone is some one else I don't KNOW it for sure.....I DON'T have that kind of knowledge or "special powers" like Silver said.

Sorry for not making my previous post clearer and I hope my point is clearer.
On to have a great and wonderful sunny day!

Also for someone who seems to hate drama, you keep bringing it up over and over again, even posting links in threads.....even though a majority, if not all of these issues were already addressed, discussed and answered if you would just read the previous posts.

I'd be happy to answer any questions YOU have but you keep rehashing what you think other people think.

If YOU have a question about something YOU feel or think, by all means ask and I will be happy to address your concerns, "high alerts" or simple curiosities.