Saga Continues- Late DCM, I Wasn't Home..... :) She Wants To End Care...

[Luna]

Now see, in your situation, the parents will be FULLY AWARE AHEAD OF TIME that you will not be there between those times. There would be no reason to let them know via phone or even a quick text that you won't be there.

In the case of the OP, it was an "unusual circumstance" that she would not be there, the parent had no idea that provider would not be there and the provider felt it was fine to leave without notifying the parent that she wouldn't be there. COMPLETELY different situation.

IDK....I guess I just don't see why it would be such an inconvenience to send a quick text saying "gotta leave for a bit, will be back around ________" It honestly would prevent alot of drama and hard feelings from a parent. And, if the parent being late is SUCH an issue that the provider resents it SO much, then perhaps the provider should no longer offer services to the famiy.

It all seems kind of childish and petty to me.

It wouldn't be a big inconvenience for the parent either to shoot a quick text "we're running late, will be there around _________".

If I'm the parent, and the provider had just told me, and not for the first time, that she needs to be notified if I'm going to be late...I slept in or wanted an extra few minutes with my child or whatever, I wouldn't be angry if I arrived to find no provider! I'd be irritated with myself for not letting her know. Especially since she just asked.

The parent also cannot expect to dictate the providers time...I'll just show up when I feel like it and she'll just be hanging around with her group waiting for me. No.

[LaLa1923]

It wouldn't be a big inconvenience for the parent either to shoot a quick text "we're running late, will be there around _________".

If I'm the parent, and the provider had just told me, and not for the first time, that she needs to be notified if I'm going to be late...I slept in or wanted an extra few minutes with my child or whatever, I wouldn't be angry if I arrived to find no provider! I'd be irritated with myself for not letting her know. Especially since she just asked.

The parent also cannot expect to dictate the providers time...I'll just show up when I feel like it and she'll just be hanging around with her group waiting for me. No.

[MyNana23]

00000

[countrymom]

some of you guys kill me, whats the difference between this parent not showing up to drop her child off and a parent who is schedualed for an interview and doesn't show up. I don't know how many times I have read how angry some of you get and how some of you leave the house when they don't show up. I have never read a person sending a text to the parent to see where they are at, so you can sit and wait. Whats the difference between the two. NOTHING. Schedual time means COME ON TIME.
Oh and who ever called the op unprofessional, your the one thats unprofessional for not supporting a fellow worker wether you agree with her disicion or not.

[countrymom]

So the dcm can be rude/ignorant and NEVER let the provider know ahead of time if she's going to be late or not come but just let the provider have an emergency ONE time, have to leave and SHE'S the bad guy???

The day I was called to the hospital because my father was dying, I quickly called my neighbor to see if she could keep the kids I had here...I dropped them with her, raced to the hospital to spend the last 5 minutes I'd ever have with my Dad, and didn't leave a note on the door or call any of the parents...it was an emergency...was I ignorant or thoughtless for not calling?? Apparently -- according to some of the posts on here I guess I was ...cell phones weren't around then so I couldn't text..

If parents don't show up more than an hour past when they're supposed to be here, I would assume that they aren't coming and if I had things going on for the kids or a field trip to do, I wouldn't be calling or waiting around..why should that be MY responsibility?? They know when I am expecting them and if they make a habit of never coming at the usual time, then it's on THEIR shoulders to contact ME!

I love it!! Gee we need a like button.

[Willow]

The parent also cannot expect to dictate the providers time...I'll just show up when I feel like it and she'll just be hanging around with her group waiting for me. No.

But Luna, if you were allowed to do that multiple times before with zero consequences discussed or enforced why would you just assume provider was going to change things up spontaneously?

I have a family right now that has trouble keeping their cubby stocked. I mentioned the inconvenience of the missing items multiple times but nothing changed until I established with them that if their children did not have those items they were not prepared for care and would not be allowed to attend. I clearly stated I would turn them away at the door. They've been fantastic since.

Had I told them I was having trouble with the cubby issue and left it there, I think it would have been incredibly unfair to just randomly turn them away without any warning I would ever do such a thing simply because I'd gotten so frustrated.

Communication is key, and it needs to go both ways for any relationship to function.

[LaLa1923]

So the dcm can be rude/ignorant and NEVER let the provider know ahead of time if she's going to be late or not come but just let the provider have an emergency ONE time, have to leave and SHE'S the bad guy???

The day I was called to the hospital because my father was dying, I quickly called my neighbor to see if she could keep the kids I had here...I dropped them with her, raced to the hospital to spend the last 5 minutes I'd ever have with my Dad, and didn't leave a note on the door or call any of the parents...it was an emergency...was I ignorant or thoughtless for not calling?? Apparently -- according to some of the posts on here I guess I was ...cell phones weren't around then so I couldn't text..

If parents don't show up more than an hour past when they're supposed to be here, I would assume that they aren't coming and if I had things going on for the kids or a field trip to do, I wouldn't be calling or waiting around..why should that be MY responsibility?? They know when I am expecting them and if they make a habit of never coming at the usual time, then it's on THEIR shoulders to contact ME!

thank you

[Willow]

some of you guys kill me, whats the difference between this parent not showing up to drop her child off and a parent who is schedualed for an interview and doesn't show up. I don't know how many times I have read how angry some of you get and how some of you leave the house when they don't show up. I have never read a person sending a text to the parent to see where they are at, so you can sit and wait. Whats the difference between the two. NOTHING. Schedual time means COME ON TIME.
Oh and who ever called the op unprofessional, your the one thats unprofessional for not supporting a fellow worker wether you agree with her disicion or not.

The difference is this moms behavior was allowed in the past, and the provider did not outline any new consequences for the inconvenience.

She expressed irritation.

There is a difference in most parents minds, which is evident all over this forum.

[LaLa1923]

some of you guys kill me, whats the difference between this parent not showing up to drop her child off and a parent who is schedualed for an interview and doesn't show up. I don't know how many times I have read how angry some of you get and how some of you leave the house when they don't show up. I have never read a person sending a text to the parent to see where they are at, so you can sit and wait. Whats the difference between the two. NOTHING. Schedual time means COME ON TIME.
Oh and who ever called the op unprofessional, your the one thats unprofessional for not supporting a fellow worker wether you agree with her disicion or not.

happyfacehappyface:hug::hug:

[LaLa1923]

But Luna, if you were allowed to do that multiple times before with zero consequences discussed or enforced why would you just assume provider was going to change things up spontaneously?

I have a family right now that has trouble keeping their cubby stocked. I mentioned the inconvenience of the missing items multiple times but nothing changed until I established with them that if their children did not have those items they were not prepared for care and would not be allowed to attend. I clearly stated I would turn them away at the door. They've been fantastic since.

Had I told them I was having trouble with the cubby issue and left it there, I think it would have been incredibly unfair to just randomly turn them away without any warning I would ever do such a thing simply because I'd gotten so frustrated.

Communication is key, and it needs to go both ways for any relationship to function.

Did you read EVERYTHING I wrote??? I have communicated! I have spoken to her about this specific thing!! I even talked to DCD about it as well!!! helloooooo how much more do I need to do???

[Luna]

But Luna, if you were allowed to do that multiple times before with zero consequences discussed or enforced why would you just assume provider was going to change things up spontaneously?

I have a family right now that has trouble keeping their cubby stocked. I mentioned the inconvenience of the missing items multiple times but nothing changed until I established with them that if their children did not have those items they were not prepared for care and would not be allowed to attend. I clearly stated I would turn them away at the door. They've been fantastic since.

Had I told them I was having trouble with the cubby issue and left it there, I think it would have been incredibly unfair to just randomly turn them away without any warning I would ever do such a thing simply because I'd gotten so frustrated.

Communication is key, and it needs to go both ways for any relationship to function.

I think I understand what you're saying. Provider could have said "if you're going to be late and I am not notified, I may not be here when you arrive". Am I understanding you correctly? If so, that just seems like an obvious consequence to me, and I think it might not occur to me to point it out.

[LaLa1923]

I think I understand what you're saying. Provider could have said "if you're going to be late and I am not notified, I may not be here when you arrive". Am I understanding you correctly? If so, that just seems like an obvious consequence to me, and I think it might not occur to me to point it out.

I have said this EXACT thing several times!! She HAS come unannounced when we were walking out the dooor!!

[MyNana23]

00000

[Play Care]

So the dcm can be rude/ignorant and NEVER let the provider know ahead of time if she's going to be late or not come but just let the provider have an emergency ONE time, have to leave and SHE'S the bad guy???

The day I was called to the hospital because my father was dying, I quickly called my neighbor to see if she could keep the kids I had here...I dropped them with her, raced to the hospital to spend the last 5 minutes I'd ever have with my Dad, and didn't leave a note on the door or call any of the parents...it was an emergency...was I ignorant or thoughtless for not calling?? Apparently -- according to some of the posts on here I guess I was ...cell phones weren't around then so I couldn't text..

If parents don't show up more than an hour past when they're supposed to be here, I would assume that they aren't coming and if I had things going on for the kids or a field trip to do, I wouldn't be calling or waiting around..why should that be MY responsibility?? They know when I am expecting them and if they make a habit of never coming at the usual time, then it's on THEIR shoulders to contact ME!

Your situation is nothing like the OP's. Nothing. This was not a life threatening/ending emergency. This was a provider who wanted to prove a point, so she did. And I say this as a provider who HAS left my house as a family was pulling in because they were over THREE hours late and didn't answer my call to see when/if they were coming. I rolled down my window and told them that because they didn't answer my call/call me, I was unable to provide care that day (and that's in my contract which they had signed)
I don't think the client was a good fit for the OP, and the relationship probably should have been terminated before it got to this point.

[daycarediva]

I think I understand what you're saying. Provider could have said "if you're going to be late and I am not notified, I may not be here when you arrive". Am I understanding you correctly? If so, that just seems like an obvious consequence to me, and I think it might not occur to me to point it out.

the OP HAS told the mother that, NUMEROUS times that she needs to be on time OR communicate! If I had verbally told a dcp that if they don't arrive on time or call to let me know when they were coming, I may not be here!

I HAVE left without notifying parents in the past. I have a dcb in my care who would arrive anytime between 7:30-11:30. I told dcm that she needed to text me that morning to give me a 30 minute window, nothing, ever. I finally warned her that I wasn't waiting around anymore and that if dcb wasn't here BY 9 (contracted time was for 7:30) we would be leaving on our walk. She showed up on time or texted me the time change from then on!

This dcm obviously doesn't have the brains and/or the consideration to do that, so OH WELL!