Saga Continues- Late DCM, I Wasn't Home..... :) She Wants To End Care...

[countrymom]

don't do weekends. I have a rule in my book that you can only pay during daycare hours, no weekends (I have to draw the line somewhere) and I have a feeling that she can't find daycare to accomadate her dd so she wants to be nice with you. Be prepared for her to promise you all sorts of things, don't give in.

[daycarediva]

I don't think she expected me to be nice and ok with her wanting to terminate care. I think now she just wants everything to be ok and DCG to come back....

I agree with how you handled things, this dcm obviously thought you were just going to continue to be available whenever she felt like dropping off. I wouldn't have called or texted either. She missed her contracted time, was a no call/no show.

It sounds like she thought you would be upset about her threat to leave, backtrack and apologize. Now that it didn't go her way she is trying to salvage the relationship. I think it would be best at this point to part ways, as long as you could fill her slot and/or it wouldn't cause you financial hardship. It isn't like dcg is a dream child, she is a high needs baby with a high needs Mom, and that's a high stress situation. I would replace them. Just tell dcm that you have decided to accept her termination notice as of XX date although you still require it in writing. If she won't supply you with it, *I* would give her a term notice. If she owes you money for the 4 week termination period, I would absolutely collect it as well. Then I would tell her that it is non negotiable because the spot is already filled and be done with it.

[TheGoodLife]

It was a scare tactic, I'm sure. She probably expected you to fall over backwards apologizing and kissing up to try to keep them :: Now she realized that you were OK with it, she's gonna try to get her "control" back with scheduling a meeting to discuss what she needs changed so that you can keep DCG!

[clep]

Every provider is different. I wouldn't care what time they came. We would always be here because I don't have even a single carseat. So, they get here when they get here.

That doesn't mean I will wait to start preschool or cirlce time. If they miss it, they miss it. I won't make another meal, or get a project out again if they miss it. But, I don't need anybody here by a certain time.

This is exactly how I work it. If I am going somewhere other than my back yard the parents are alerted before hand.

I personally would be upset if I was the parent in your case. I would find it very inflexible that if I don't make it by a certain time I may not have care that day. I don't think that as providers we should think we can dictate anyone's time. If we are paid to provide care between certain hours, we should be available to do so, and if we can't I think it is up to us to communicate that, not the other way around.

[Crystal]

This is exactly how I work it. If I am going somewhere other than my back yard the parents are alerted before hand.

I personally would be upset if I was the parent in your case. I would find it very inflexible that if I don't make it by a certain time I may not have care that day. I don't think that as providers we should think we can dictate anyone's time. If we are paid to provide care between certain hours, we should be available to do so, and if we can't I think it is up to us to communicate that, not the other way around.

[daycaremum]

your absolutely right. The parent was taking advantage of the provider. And why is it our responsibility to call and see where parents are when parents can't do it themselves. Seriously, since when did I become the provider for the parents too, do I have to ask if you pooped today too.

I have to agree with this. The parent was repeatedly told to arrive at the scheduled time and if that wasn't going to happen that she needed to text her arrival time. She did none of this, the provider had an emergency and waited as long as she could, I don't know if I would have called this parent or not, but OP did not. I don't think it makes her unprofessional. She assumed that since the parent did not call, she wasn't coming, as they had discussed together previously. The end.
Who ever is calling this provider unprofessional is on quite a high horse.

[MyAngels]

I solved this problem by implementing a policy that if you don't call or show up by 9 a.m. you are considered out for the day. Any drop off after 9 a.m. must be arranged in advance.

All of my families now give me the courtesy of a call if they will be late, which was the goal of this policy in the first place.

I don't think that asking for the courtesy of a simple phone call is asking too much at all.

[mom2many]

I have had many parents drop off at various times. I recently had one dcb arrive sometimes as early as 7:30 am and other times as late as noon depending on mom's appts.

I don't do many outings now, but if I was planning to go to the park or take a walk, I would send her a text to check in to find out what time she was dropping off.

I love being able to send a quick text to communicate with parents. They are supposed to notify me by 9 am if they are not coming that day, but as a courtesy to them, I have always let them know if I was leaving to ensure there was no miss communication.

[itlw8]

a school will leave on the field trip but the parents know there is a field trip.

She does this because you allow it. I do think she needed to know you would be leaving the house. a text to her that morning if you did not know ahead ( or to all the parents..... We will be leaving at 8:45 for... please make sure you are here before that or I will text you when we get back.

[JenNJ]

I can see both sides here.

Right now, I don't care when clients show up. I'm here all day, everyday.

This fall, I will be walking the older kids to pre-k down the road. I will leave at 8:40 each day and not be back until 9:15. I will leave again at 11:10 and not return until 11:45. So starting the in fall, clients will need to drop off before 9am each day or wait for me to return. I won't be calling or teting since this will be a regular occurance.

In the OP's case, it sound slike she warned the mom of this before. But I can see why the mom is upset. I would be also. It just sound slike it isn't a good fit. And that is ok!

[Crystal]

I can see both sides here.

Right now, I don't care when clients show up. I'm here all day, everyday.

This fall, I will be walking the older kids to pre-k down the road. I will leave at 8:40 each day and not be back until 9:15. I will leave again at 11:10 and not return until 11:45. So starting the in fall, clients will need to drop off before 9am each day or wait for me to return. I won't be calling or teting since this will be a regular occurance.

In the OP's case, it sound slike she warned the mom of this before. But I can see why the mom is upset. I would be also. It just sound slike it isn't a good fit. And that is ok!

Now see, in your situation, the parents will be FULLY AWARE AHEAD OF TIME that you will not be there between those times. There would be no reason to let them know via phone or even a quick text that you won't be there.

In the case of the OP, it was an "unusual circumstance" that she would not be there, the parent had no idea that provider would not be there and the provider felt it was fine to leave without notifying the parent that she wouldn't be there. COMPLETELY different situation.

IDK....I guess I just don't see why it would be such an inconvenience to send a quick text saying "gotta leave for a bit, will be back around ________" It honestly would prevent alot of drama and hard feelings from a parent. And, if the parent being late is SUCH an issue that the provider resents it SO much, then perhaps the provider should no longer offer services to the famiy.

It all seems kind of childish and petty to me.

[JenNJ]

I agree Crystal. Even sending a text saying "Emergency -- I will not be home until ___ o'click. Sorry!" would be better IMO than leaving and having clients wonder where I am or what happened. Even if you can't wait, I think it is responsible to send a notification.

[AmyLeigh]

I agree Crystal. Even sending a text saying "Emergency -- I will not be home until ___ o'click. Sorry!" would be better IMO than leaving and having clients wonder where I am or what happened. Even if you can't wait, I think it is responsible to send a notification.

While I understand your point, what if the emergency occurred later? Would she still have to send a notification at 10:00? Or 2:00? At what point does someone go from running really late and being a no call/no show?

[Play Care]

Now see, in your situation, the parents will be FULLY AWARE AHEAD OF TIME that you will not be there between those times. There would be no reason to let them know via phone or even a quick text that you won't be there.

In the case of the OP, it was an "unusual circumstance" that she would not be there, the parent had no idea that provider would not be there and the provider felt it was fine to leave without notifying the parent that she wouldn't be there. COMPLETELY different situation.

IDK....I guess I just don't see why it would be such an inconvenience to send a quick text saying "gotta leave for a bit, will be back around ________" It honestly would prevent alot of drama and hard feelings from a parent. And, if the parent being late is SUCH an issue that the provider resents it SO much, then perhaps the provider should no longer offer services to the famiy.

It all seems kind of childish and petty to me.

[Willow]

Whule I understand your point, what if the emergency occurred later? Would she still have to send a notification at 10:00? Or 2:00? At what point does someone go from running really late and being a no call/no show?

The amount of time should have been established when they've discussed the issue before.

Saying you're irritated and explaining why really isn't clarification enough. Speaking is gray area, action is what draws the concrete boundaries. There was no clarification on either of their parts, that's where all this confusion has come from.

Unless it was said -if you're not here by x, y can be the result, here is an acknowledgement form please sign it. Here is a copy you can reference in the future if you need to- then there was no way mom could have ever guessed her provider wasn't going to be there and no way the provider could know how long she should expect to wait on this particular family.


Simply telling a family you're irritated is not enough to draw those clear lines and this is often the end result.