The "Don't Use This Daycare" Thread Made Me Wonder

[Blackcat31]

Me and my husband quit smoking 6 months ago. happyface

Im still on the fence about leaving my own kids with someone who does, now that we have quit, but I have a hard time leaving them with anyone.

None of my daycare parents have ever mentioned that they could smell it or not, although im sure they could.

I can now tell which parent smokes and which doesn't.!!

It stinks, and we cant belive the money we NOW have because we quit.
Im still struggling with my emotions and Im hoping to feel a lot better mentally soon.

Good job for quitting! You will definitely "feel" it in more places than your pocket book.

My DH quit smoking 6 years ago. He was a 3 pack a day smoker and had been smoking since he was 12 years old.

He quit cold turkey.

Now that he no longer smokes, I am amazed at how badly people who do smoke smell....even the ones who don't think they do.

I guess I had just gotten so used to it, that I never noticed how bad it really was.

FWIW~ My DH never smoked near our own children, in a vehicle or on the daycare property.

[allsmiles]

congrats and good luck with the transition!

[NeedaVaca]

I don't smoke and wouldn't send my kids to a dc where they smoked. I won't stay anywhere there is a smoke filled room. I even have a hard time being around people with "third-hand" smoke clinging to their clothes.

My in-laws are no longer a part of their grandchildren's lives because dh and I refused to keep going over their house because of the smell. You could almost walk in a cut a block of smoke out of the air it was so thick.

I find this to be very sad. Couldn't you have come to an agreement and met them elsewhere or invited them to your house? To deprive children of their grandparents over this seems extreme and one day the grandchildren could be devastated not having a relationship with them.

[AfterSchoolMom]

I don't smoke, and I wouldn't send my kids to a provider who smoked, but it's because the smell of smoke gives me headaches. I can't even walk past someone who is smoking outside (and it's really annoying, btw, when people sit or stand RIGHT OUTSIDE a doorway and smoke so that you have to walk through their cloud to get in or out) without feeling it come on.

My Mom recently started smoking again after 15 years. She never smokes inside her house or car. However, now, every time the kids stay with her, they come back reeking of smoke. I had to air out my son's pack and play for a week after the last time. They probably won't be going back for awhile.

It's not meant to be a judgement on anyone's choices, health, etc....just the simple fact that it causes me pain.

[Kaddidle Care]

I don't smoke - I would and have left my child with a relative that smokes - not very often but she doesn't smoke in her house.

On a daily basis - like a child care provider - no way.

[youretooloud]

This thread has me had me thinking of what is a smoker and what does a person define that as.

When you hear of a smoker most people think of cigerettes but there are all types: cigerettes/cloves/cigars/pipes/those things that have all the pipes out of them/marijuanna


In Washington state you now can smoke recreational marijuanna legally just not in public (stores, restaurants).

So would you leave your child with someone (provider/babysitter/anyone watching your child out of your presence) that smoke marijuanna if it became legal in your state as recreational.

Someone that smoked any of the above besides cigerrettes?

A true smoker will take smoking breaks through the day. They rarely just "smoke occasionally", and if they do, they aren't really smokers. They just light up every now and then.

If they are smoking pot during the day, or drinking rum during the day, while they have kids in their care, they should not be responsible for children. Even if it's legal.

I have known smokers all my life. I've worked with them. Just walk past the break table outside of Walmart, or out in front of Walgreens, and the employees are outside smoking. So, if a real smoker could get through an enitre daycare day without going outside to smoke, then so could those employees at Walgreens. Their shift is probably shorter than a daycare provider...so, why does Walmart and Walgreens allow it? Because they NEED to go out and smoke. So, it stands to reason, that the providers do also.

It's not like providers have superhuman powers. So, a TRUE smoker who says they don't smoke during daycare hours is lying. Or they aren't really dedicated to smoking, and should probably quit.

[Blackcat31]

A true smoker will take smoking breaks through the day. They rarely just "smoke occasionally", and if they do, they aren't really smokers. They just light up every now and then.

If they are smoking pot during the day, or drinking rum during the day, while they have kids in their care, they should not be responsible for children. Even if it's legal.

I have known smokers all my life. I've worked with them. Just walk past the break table outside of Walmart, or out in front of Walgreens, and the employees are outside smoking. So, if a real smoker could get through an enitre daycare day without going outside to smoke, then so could those employees at Walgreens. Their shift is probably shorter than a daycare provider...so, why does Walmart and Walgreens allow it? Because they NEED to go out and smoke. So, it stands to reason, that the providers do also.

It's not like providers have superhuman powers. So, a TRUE smoker who says they don't smoke during daycare hours is lying. Or they aren't really dedicated to smoking, and should probably quit.

I understand and agree with you except your definition of a real or true smoker.

My Dr says that anyone who smokes, whether it be 3-5 cigarettes per week or 3-5 packs per week IS a smoker.

Emphysema and other smoker-related illnesses and afflictions don't segregate or exclude based on the # of cigarettes a person smokes.

My mother was an evening smoker and NEVER ever smoked during the day. Yet somehow, she still managed to smoke several packs per week.

My DH smoked several packs over the course of a day...first one in his mouth before his feet hardly touched the ground in the morning.

I would consider BOTH of them smokers. (although DH has since quit.)

[mamac]

I find this to be very sad. Couldn't you have come to an agreement and met them elsewhere or invited them to your house? To deprive children of their grandparents over this seems extreme and one day the grandchildren could be devastated not having a relationship with them.

Believe me, we have TRIED. It wasn't our decision. It was theirs. They were invited over many times but were always "too busy" or "didn't feel like it" because they felt that if their house wasn't good enough for us to go to then they didn't want to come here. I truly wish that my kids could visit them because they really had a lot of fun and my in-laws would actually play with the boys.

My dh and I moved back home from FL in preparation of having kids because we wanted them to have an extended family, instead of knowing grandma and grandpa as a name on a birthday card that was mailed to them once a year. I never got the opportunity to know my grandparents so this was something I truly wanted for my boys. We obviously knew they were smokers and we told them before I got pregnant that this was a very serious issue for us and they promised to quit time and time again. We understood how hard it was so rather than fight it, we offered to go to dinner, the park, our house... where ever. They're just the type to hold a grudge.

The last straw came last month when my dh and I decided to have a small party for my ds's 3rd birthday. Just me, dh, and ods with a lot of balloons and a special trip to the movies. We had a BLAST. MIL called and accused us of treating ds like $hi+ because we weren't having a party for him and saying we weren't good parents. :confused: Mind you we hadn't heard from her since we decided to accept her invite for Christmas dinner. We actually had a good time and we also never once mentioned the smoking, which wasn't an easy thing to do. They both chain smoked with the windows closed. Everyone's eyes would start burning and you could actually taste the nicotine/smoke if you licked your lips.

So yeah- I agree with you. It is a very sad situation and I wish my boys didn't have to pay the price.

[Starburst]

Believe me, we have TRIED. It wasn't our decision. It was theirs. They were invited over many times but were always "too busy" or "didn't feel like it" because they felt that if their house wasn't good enough for us to go to then they didn't want to come here. I truly wish that my kids could visit them because they really had a lot of fun and my in-laws would actually play with the boys.

My dh and I moved back home from FL in preparation of having kids because we wanted them to have an extended family, instead of knowing grandma and grandpa as a name on a birthday card that was mailed to them once a year. I never got the opportunity to know my grandparents so this was something I truly wanted for my boys. We obviously knew they were smokers and we told them before I got pregnant that this was a very serious issue for us and they promised to quit time and time again. We understood how hard it was so rather than fight it, we offered to go to dinner, the park, our house... where ever. They're just the type to hold a grudge.

The last straw came last month when my dh and I decided to have a small party for my ds's 3rd birthday. Just me, dh, and ods with a lot of balloons and a special trip to the movies. We had a BLAST. MIL called and accused us of treating ds like $hi+ because we weren't having a party for him and saying we weren't good parents. :confused: Mind you we hadn't heard from her since we decided to accept her invite for Christmas dinner. We actually had a good time and we also never once mentioned the smoking, which wasn't an easy thing to do. They both chain smoked with the windows closed. Everyone's eyes would start burning and you could actually taste the nicotine/smoke if you licked your lips.

So yeah- I agree with you. It is a very sad situation and I wish my boys didn't have to pay the price.

I agree with you. It's a two way street. They are grown ups and they made their choice. They are your kids and you don't want them exposed to a toxic environment. If they really cared, they would at least try to make an effort to smoke out of the house (at least out the window) or try to avoid smoking in front of them.

[Play Care]

It's not only about second/third hand smoke but the risk of unintentional injury caused by cigarettes. Growing up I, and my siblings were all burned at least once by a cigarette butt.
For a provider who is in their doorway having a smoke break (or on their back deck while children are playing in the yard) the risk of a child running by unexpectedly and being burned is just too big a risk.
Anytime I've ever had coworkers who smoked, it seemed like they had breaks every hour or two to smoke while the rest of us were limited to our allowed two breaks plus lunch.
If a provider is a smoker I do think it should be after hours only, because even at say, quiet time, the risk of a child getting up unexpectedly is too great.

[AmyKidsCo]

I don't smoke, no one in my household smokes, my friends or family are not allowed to smoke in or around my home and I would not leave my child with someone who smokes.

Ditto. My father in law smokes, but only outside. Because of WI licensing rules he can't smoke on our property so he has to go for a walk or stand on the neighbor's sidewalk for his smokes.

[Childminder]

I used to smoke. Day care parents say they never knew. If I had a provider that was as respectful to others as I was I would leave my children with him or her.

[Meeko]

It's the smell more than anything for me. Most smokers THINK they don't smell because they shower, use cologne etc and feel clean. They are so used to it, they can't tell.

It breaks my heart when I have kids in care, who smell like smokers themselves because of their clothes. The clothes may LOOK clean, but the smell permeates the fibers. Their hair smells bad too.

And it's ALWAYS the smokers kids who have continuous nagging coughs.

I am so sensitive to it, that even having a smoker stand in my doorway (not even actually smoking....that is not allowed) for a few minutes picking up a child, makes my whole house stink simply from their clothing and hair.

They maybe the nicest people in the world, but I can't stomach the smell.

[clep]

I don't smoke & neither does my DH & I would never leave my kids with a smoker.

About the e-cigarettes, aren't you technically still taking toxic items into your body??? I don't know the details about them but is it not just as bad as smoking/snuff except for the no smell part???

No. My husband makes the liquid and it is pure food grade vegetable glycerin and food grade flavoring. Some people use propeylene glycol in theirs.....that's where the problem starts.

[Willow]

I understand and agree with you except your definition of a real or true smoker.

My Dr says that anyone who smokes, whether it be 3-5 cigarettes per week or 3-5 packs per week IS a smoker.

Emphysema and other smoker-related illnesses and afflictions don't segregate or exclude based on the # of cigarettes a person smokes.

My mother was an evening smoker and NEVER ever smoked during the day. Yet somehow, she still managed to smoke several packs per week.

My DH smoked several packs over the course of a day...first one in his mouth before his feet hardly touched the ground in the morning.

I would consider BOTH of them smokers. (although DH has since quit.)

I'm totally going to elaborate what you said here just for slow morning and boredom's sake

In November 2011 I contracted what I thought was the worst cold I'd ever had in my life. I had been bow hunting since September and by the time gun season rolled around I went and sat in stand for the day and nearly tipped over on the way out. I went in and initially they told me I had some sort of a viral infection that would pass. A couple of weeks later I was much worse (on the verge of being hospitalized) so they did a lung x-ray. On it were 4 "shadows" that warranted a same day trip down to St. Cloud for a CT scan and meeting with a top notch pulmonologist (lung doctor). After the CT scan more shadows and nodules were easily detected. He said I had two options, do a pretty invasive wash of my lungs to test the fluid and if it showed anything then he'd knock out a biopsy that night yet, or wait. I asked him to explain the pros and cons of both and he immediately whipped out a computer program developed for use in weighing odds in a situation like this. When he asked if I was a smoker I asked him to define the term. He told me if I had to ask I probably was. In the spirit of full disclosure I shared that my very most I smoked a cigarette a night, so maybe 7 a week? He asked what I smoke right now, I told him maybe 3 a week, if that, near hysterics at that point because I was just terrified.... To my shock(and semi-horror) he laughed to lighten the mood and then asked if I drove there. I told him yes, and he shared with me the emissions from my vehicle and all the vehicles around me on my journey I was exposed to for that length of time well outweighed anything I put into my body with those three cigarettes a week. He confirmed cigarettes are horrible and do horrific things to our bodies, but so are many MANY of the other things we inhale every single day that do the exact same thing......vehicle emissions, air pollution, fumes from cleaning supplies, even the non-stick coating on pots and pans release toxins into the air and explained they alone can kill household birds.

He told me while I should quit because it would be easy enough to knock out anyway, the tiny bit of smoking I do no more makes me a smoker than having a beer once or twice a week makes one an alcoholic -NOR- would it make me as prone to lung diseases as someone that smoked a pack a day or more.

We put aaaaaaaaall my numbers into the program, age, weight, where I was raised and with whom, genetic predispositions, medical history, occupation, who I associate with, and risk factors etc. The difference between me smoking those three cigarettes a week and not changed my risk by less than a half of a percent (I'm sorry but if those were the odds of me getting diabetes or not I wouldn't swear off chocolate cake for the rest of my life over that and that alone). The chance of it being cancer, much less cancer that was due to my menial smoking was so slim it wasn't even quantifiable. He said that while he usually was incredibly harsh with legitimate smokers there was no sense in worrying as much as I was. I opted to wait it out after he discussed other possibilities for the shadows and illness. He sent me on my way with a couple of prescriptions to clear up what he thought it was and while I was still concerned it definitely put my mind at ease. I went in to my primary doctor about a month later for another xray that was to be sent down to him. There were many more shadows and nodules but I was feeling much better and after receiving the report my pulmonologist told me to come down for a repeat CT the following month to confirm his initial suspicions. I did and he confirmed - histoplasmosis.


It wasn't my smoking that had made me ill or my lungs spiderweb with now calcified nodules that I was terrified was a self inflicted cancer - it was BIRD CRAP. While bow, upland and waterfowl hunting that season I no doubt inhaled the spores that grew on BIRD CRAP.

BIRD CRAP gave me a lung disease. Not smoking. Spores on ***POOP***

I can't tell you how hard I laughed out of relief and sheer disbelief. He told me a LOT of people are quick to point the finger at smokers. Smokers are the "only ones" who ever get lung cancer, they're the "only ones" who end up with pneumonias that kill and emphysema. Nah-ah. And the assumptions drive him NUTS. He told me many of his clients he diagnosis with lung cancers have never smoked in their lives and just can't believe it's happening to them for that reason and that reason alone. Most people don't have a clue that MOST of what they breathe in now days is just as toxic as the fumes from a cigarette. There is a huge push to ban cigarettes and I understand that push. My own father lost his mother (before I came into the picture) from suspected lung cancer due to her smoking (several packs a day). I see the pain it still causes him when she is mentioned. That said, you HAVE to keep it all in perspective. Yes as entropycs pointed out everyone has a right to make the choices they feel are best for their kids, but don't think you (general you) are any safer than me and mine are just because you choose to cut that one pollutant out of your world. There are loads more, many completely out of our control, and short of living in a bubble there is not much you can do to prevent many of those exposures.