The "Don't Use This Daycare" Thread Made Me Wonder

[Willow]

My panties are firmly unwadded but I should clarify that to me there is a difference between a smoker and someone who very occasionally smokes just as there is a difference between a drinker and someone who drinks occasionally. I do not drink at all (tastes gross to me) but my husband has a hard cider once or twice a month. I don't care if my kids see people they know and love have a drink responsibly now and then. I don't want to be in a position in which I feel like I am endorsing a true drinker in their presence (such as paying them to watch my child). Now my brother-in-law smokes but when he does so at our home he goes out for a walk. He does not smoke so often that his clothes reek. He tells them it is unhealthy and not a good habit. I would not pay someone to care for my child who needed to smoke during the time my child was in their care or before they arrived and they smell was at all evident. I'm just not okay with it due to my own personal life experiences. I felt like I watched my grandmother slowly suffocate to death and I don't want that for my children. I DON'T want them to be smokers. I can't make them not be smokers, but I really hope they aren't. I would fear everyday that they would someday go through what I saw my Grandma go through.

I COMPLETELY agree with this.

And it's totally the gray area I was talking about

[Jewels]

I would never leave my kid at a daycare of someone who smokes, I just feel as I used to be a smoker before having children, that a Provider who can't smoke whenever she gets stressed would get to frustrated, and vice versa, when they did get frustrated would need to have a smoke.
Now all my and my DH family are smokers, so when they are at grandparents, they are around smoke at some point or another, but thats not often. And they are family.

[allsmiles]

i dont smoke, but would leave my child with a smoker.. i just feel its their choice and as long as they supervise my child adequately and my child doesnt reek of smoke when i pick them up..
i have an assistant who smokes..and i did have to ask her to cut down on her smoke breaks so i can see where u guys are coming from where supervision could be an issue if you really dont know how much the person smokes??

[Play Care]

Playcare -if the expectation/assumption would be that your drinking provider would not drink while in charge of other kids, why would it or should that opposite for those who smoke?

If you trust the provider wouldn't partake in either during care hours, nor is there any evidence of either, should it really matter what the provider does on their own time?

(Thank you for sharing about the provider you turned down. I've had a physical once at initial licensing and have never been asked about my health again. I wonder how often health status changes and providers just keep on trucking even though their abilities and clearly and seriously compromised...)

I guess I'm operating off the first thread which was that the provider was smoking during care which was how/when the child was injured. I also posted about my own personal experience with smoking during child care with my own child (in my case it was the providers friend). I honestly find that the majority of smokers can not help themselves from doing it multiple times per day (the nature of the beast). If someone truly only smoked after hours/weekends (or only when they drink:: ) then I completely agree that it would be none of my business.

[LoraJenkins]

I DO smoke....but NEVER inside my home...NEVER! And I would not want my children with some one who smokes in their home. I also drink wine and sometimes LITs or limocello after hours 3 or 4 night a week. I'm SOOOOO bad.....

[Lyss]

I DO smoke....but NEVER inside my home...NEVER! And I would not want my children with some one who smokes in their home. I also drink wine and sometimes LITs or limocello after hours 3 or 4 night a week. I'm SOOOOO bad.....

::::

This thread reminds me of another one from awhile back along the lines of what we do that the parents don't know about or expect from us. It tired to find it but couldn't seem to. If I remember right there were many things listed, maybe not all of the the DCPs would be ok with some of those things ("She drinks wine at night!? " : but then again it doesn't affect the kids or the care provided (hopefully ) right? If a provider and her house are clean and smell free and she steps away or does it after hours what does it matter?

[Country Kids]

::::

This thread reminds me of another one from awhile back along the lines of what we do that the parents don't know about or expect from us. It tired to find it but couldn't seem to. If I remember right there were many things listed, maybe not all of the the DCPs would be ok with some of those things ("She drinks wine at night!? " : but then again it doesn't affect the kids or the care provided (hopefully ) right? If a provider and her house are clean and smell free and she steps away or does it after hours what does it matter?

Lyss,

I don't even think we can smoke (I don't, never have) during childcare hours-can we?

I'm going to go look that up.

[Lyss]

Lyss,
I don't even think we can smoke (I don't, never have) during childcare hours-can we?
I'm going to go look that up.

I don't smoke either so I'm not sure, I'd guess no though. I was just meaning in situations where it is a possibility that it was allowed and it was kept separate, what would people's opinions on that be? or how would they feel if they found out that in fact the provider that they thought didn't smoke (or whatever other issues/behaviors they might have issue with for that matter) actually did after hours

[Country Kids]

This thread has me had me thinking of what is a smoker and what does a person define that as.

When you hear of a smoker most people think of cigerettes but there are all types: cigerettes/cloves/cigars/pipes/those things that have all the pipes out of them/marijuanna


In Washington state you now can smoke recreational marijuanna legally just not in public (stores, restaurants).

So would you leave your child with someone (provider/babysitter/anyone watching your child out of your presence) that smoke marijuanna if it became legal in your state as recreational.

Someone that smoked any of the above besides cigerrettes?

[allsmiles]

I guess I'm operating off the first thread which was that the provider was smoking during care which was how/when the child was injured. I also posted about my own personal experience with smoking during child care with my own child (in my case it was the providers friend). I honestly find that the majority of smokers can not help themselves from doing it multiple times per day (the nature of the beast). If someone truly only smoked after hours/weekends (or only when they drink:: ) then I completely agree that it would be none of my business.

exactly this..

i took on my assistant KNOWING they smoked.. BUT i had no idea how often. Who is gonna tell you at an interview for you to keep their children that they smoke every 2 hours LOL.. so i guess i can see why some ppl might not want to consider a smoker as a provider because they dont want to risk it..but some ppl are not gonna mind so i guess it all balances out..LOL

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Curious for those who say they would never let someone who ever smoked watch their child....do you also travel by cart and buggy, grow all your own food and live out in the county?

Because vehicle emissions, pesticides, food processing and air pollution is just as bad for you child if not more so than them encountering someone who had a cigarette last Saturday and has showered three times since......kwim?

I get we all have to pick our battles but common sense should rule right?

This isn't an all or nothing thing. I DO feed MY children organic food. I DO live in a community that's outside of "the big city." I DO use and only let my children use products that are natural/organic.
Even if I did participate in/use all of the things you described, why should I subject my child to toxic substances that they would not have encountered had I chosen not to expose them???? Your logic isn't making any sense to me.

:confused:

[LoraJenkins]

Lyss,

I don't even think we can smoke (I don't, never have) during childcare hours-can we?

I'm going to go look that up.

I do not have a cigarette during the day unless my daughter (who is 19) or husband are home to watch the children. Then I quickly go outside ( watching through the front window) and have one. All of my DCPs are smokers so it isn't an issue. And since the children are always supervised by an adult I have had no issues with inspections over it.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I'm curious how many of you would not leave your child in the care of an overweight/obese provider for the same reasons listed....provider health concerns, compromised ability to provide proper care and even outright danger to the child directly etc?

Do you all think because someone has a glass of wine once in awhile that too is doomed to affect the children in ones care?

I've never understood the "grab your pitchforks" mentality when it comes to smokers when there are plenty of other just as dangerous and deadly vices people practive literally multiple times a day.


Prospective patents are always shocked at interview time to learn that I have pets (loads) and that I smoke on rare occasion because there is no evidence of either. And every interview I've ever done regardless of those admissions still has resulted in a request for admittance.
Why? Probably because it would be silly to make a decision on that one factor alone.

I get that we've all known people who reek to high heaven for whatever reason and yes, that's incredibly unpleasant. But to paint everyone with the same brush? Frankly, I think some of you need to unwad your panties and relax, especially if you're exposing your child to toxins just as bad and regularly.


(Threads like this just drive me nuts because they always come off as soo judgy mcjudgerson.....)

I'd be less likely to chose an overweight provider, yes.

A glass of wine once in awhile? That wouldn't bother me. You having one glass of wine at night while my child is not present wouldn't have any impact on my child's health whatsoever. There aren't any "lingering fumes" from a glass of wine that are poisonous.

You get to have your opinions on how to raise your children to the best of your ability, as do I.

[mamac]

I don't smoke and wouldn't send my kids to a dc where they smoked. I won't stay anywhere there is a smoke filled room. I even have a hard time being around people with "third-hand" smoke clinging to their clothes.

My in-laws are no longer a part of their grandchildren's lives because dh and I refused to keep going over their house because of the smell. You could almost walk in a cut a block of smoke out of the air it was so thick.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

Me and my husband quit smoking 6 months ago. happyface

Im still on the fence about leaving my own kids with someone who does, now that we have quit, but I have a hard time leaving them with anyone.

None of my daycare parents have ever mentioned that they could smell it or not, although im sure they could.

I can now tell which parent smokes and which doesn't.!!

It stinks, and we cant belive the money we NOW have because we quit.
Im still struggling with my emotions and Im hoping to feel a lot better mentally soon.