Am I Mean Or Is This What You Guys Do Too?

[My3cents]

At my daycare, we are run more like a preschool with extended daycare hours.

My main focus for all of the children is self help skills. I only take children 20 months to 5 years of age as long as they are not enrolled in school.

I start working with the kids the minute they enroll all about self help. Everything from putting on shoes, to self feeding using proper fork,spoon, etc.

ONce the kids show me that they can do something, I then expect them to do it themselves. For example if they show me they can put their own shoes on, then I will not do it for them when they are here.

This morning I had a child age 3.5 come in and refused to take off his own shoes, threw his legs out towards me and said, MIss _____ take my shoes off. I smiled and said, my big boys take their own shoes off, just like you do every single day and i walked away back to what I was doing.

Well dcm gets upset and wants to know why I won't help him. She says oh looks like __________ is in a bad mood today and is not being helpful, I will help you. DCM takes off shoes and leaves.

Am I the only one that has these expectations? BTW I was so mad at the DCM this morning, but I bit my tongue and did not mutter a word...

I would have called the Mom out on that. I would have said to her, no I am not in a bad mood. I know that Little Johnny can take off his own shoes and I am trying to reinforce self help skills. If I knew he was not able to do this himself then I would have stepped in and showed him how to do this so that he would be able to do it himself- Then I would have walked away or listened to what she had to say.

Sometimes we are just awe struck with what comes out of parents mouths, because we have about fifty million other things going through our heads- Then it hits us, did she really just say that-

I would address it at pick up or maybe a phone call. It is not cool to belittle you in front of a child or the children.

[Mom&Provider]

You said and did nothing wrong at all! It's not as though you degraded the child or were rude in any way!

Right now I'm trying to get my own 3 yo to do some different things on her own too. Shoes to me seems like the first fair step, along with a coat, mitts and hats etc. Going to the potty takes more time, but helping them with easier things will help along the process since once they start to do their own things, they gain confidence in other things and then want to do more for themselves!

I would be having a chat with this DCM and letting her no that showing you disrespect in front of a child in your care is not acceptable. I'd also confirm with her that you had no intensions of coming across as rude or unhelpful, and you do what you do to encourage children to grow and develop - not that you were in a "bad mood".

[bunnyslippers]

As a previous preschool/kindergarten teacher, I can tell you that you are right on in your methods! Those little ones who came to me ready to go, with all those self-help skills learned, were always the ones who were able to jump right in and learn the school skills they needed.

I stress self-help skills in this program. I also make a very big deal out of manners and respect. I take it farther than just please and thankyous, too. We work on holding doors, getting up out of your chair when an adult doesn't have a seat, asking to be excused, saying "bless you" when people sneeze, and greeting people with a smile.

I feel that parents often skip over these self-help skills, not because they are lazy or don't think they are important, but because our world is so hectic and hurried. In our over-scheduled culture, there isn't time to let your child put on his own shoes, because you have to get to your next appointment/activity/job/school, etc. I often stress to parents that if they are feeling rushed, it is better to wake up a few minutes earlier and give everyone in the family a chance to start the day correctly, calmly and peacefully.

As for the rude comment from that mother...well, ignorance is bliss! I would have had a very hard time letting that one slide.

[cheerfuldom]

I think its especially annoying when a big kid is babied.....yet parents complain to the provider about academics. They do want them to be advanced on one hand but stay a baby on the other. You cant have it all folks!!

[cheerfuldom]

and my in laws recently babysat and i found them spoon feeding my 20 month old. she was eating it but kept looking confused.....I dont think she has been spoon fed for a year! poor thing was very confused.

[Candy]

I agree that parents do to much for their kids. I use to watch a little boy who mom dressed him in the morning while he was still sleep up until 3rd grade. He is in middle school now she still cuts his nails and toe nails for him

[frugalmama4]

Some parents just don't get it...

I don't allow parents to pass my threshold, I open the door, say good morning and good bye. All my little people take off shoes, jackets themselves...for my babies same thang parents don't pass my threshold...just pass me the baby and relay any important information.