Am I Mean Or Is This What You Guys Do Too?

[itlw8]

You were right not correcting dcm in front of dcb this morning and I agree you need to say something to her about being disrespectful and not letting dcb grow up.

[countrymom]

acually I don't mind doing some stuff for the kids every once in a while. I've taken shoes off for kids who are capable or helped them with a zipper, but I do expect the kids to do most of it themselves.

I had a mom who did everything for her son. So when he was in grade 1, the teacher was constantly complaining how he can't dress themselves, so mom was getting mad. Now mom knows that this was an issue with me too he just didn't know how to do anything himself. And mom excuse was that it was faster and easier if she just did it.

in kindy, on their report card it acually discusses basic things like handwashing and dressing themselves and they are marked on it. Its amazing how many can't even wash their hands properly.

[Starburst]

I would do a reminder letter home to all parents saying something like....

"Dear DCFs,

This is a friendly reminder to all my families that my daycare is a preschool school emphized program. My goal is to teach children to become more self-relient and self-regulated to prepare them for kindergarten. As a general rule around age 3 (unless your child is diagnosed by a doctor with special needs*), I try to focus on teaching them self-help skills such as but not limited to:
* Putting on or taking off own shoes and coats when arriving or departing
* Washing own hands
* Asking to be excused from the table
* Able to work or play independently
* Pick up after themselves
* Help put toys away
* Participate regularly in both group and solo activites, projects, and assignments
* Follow simple directions.

While this is all a learning process, once I have seen children do these tasks multiple times I will enforce these rules and expect them to do these independently on a regular bases. I also expect that you respect the rules and expectations of my daycare when you and your children are in my home. Though you are not required to follow these rules at home, I encourage you to try to work on these at home as it does help the child learn these skills faster helping them become more prepared for school.

Thank you for your cooperation!
Sincerly, DC Provider."

* If you use the special needs part: The "doctor diagnosis" part is important become some parts think that "Oh, my child is special to me. Therefore, they have special requirements, so they are special needs!" or they will come up with a lame excuse why their child is not able to (or should not) do these tasks.

[daycare]

"Dear DCFs,

This is a friendly reminder to all my families that my daycare is a preschool school emphized program. My goal is to teach children to become more self-relient and self-regulated to prepare them for kindergarten. As a general rule around age 3 (unless your child is diagnosed by a doctor with special needs*), I try to focus on teaching them self-help skills such as but not limited to:
* Putting on or taking off own shoes and coats when arriving or departing
* Washing own hands
* Asking to be excused from the table
* Able to work or play independently
* Pick up after themselves
* Help put toys away
* Participate regularly in both group and solo activites, projects, and assignments
* Follow simple directions.

While this is all a learning process, once I have seen children do these tasks multiple times I will enforce these rules and expect them to do these independently on a regular bases. I also expect that you respect the rules and expectations of my daycare when you and your children are in my home. Though you are not required to follow these rules at home, I encourage you to try to work on these at home as it does help the child learn these skills faster helping them become more prepared for school.

Thank you for your cooperation!
Sincerly, DC Provider."

* If you use the special needs part: The "doctor diagnosis" part is important become some parts think that "Oh, my child is special to me. Therefore, they have special requirements, so they are special needs!" or they will come up with a lame excuse why their child is not able to (or should not) do these tasks.

I do all of this, but I start at 20months, not age 3. At 20 month, I start teaching them how to do everything. ALL of my DCKs at 20 months learn to put shoes on without assistance, of course depending on the shoes the parents send in and jackets. I would say that around age 2, they will then start to master pants, shirts and etc. Every day we play games during circle time to see who can put their shoes on the fastest, jacket with snaps, or buttons of some kind. Winner gets a sticker everyone else gets a stamp. The kids love doing this.

I tell parents that I do understand that sometimes they have to do it for them, because they may be running late or for whatever reason, but that when they are here, it's time to let them shine!!!!

BTW I have no clue why this came out red on your post>???

[Starburst]

I do all of this, but I start at 20months, not age 3. At 20 month, I start teaching them how to do everything. ALL of my DCKs at 20 months learn to put shoes on without assistance, of course depending on the shoes the parents send in and jackets. I would say that around age 2, they will then start to master pants, shirts and etc. Every day we play games during circle time to see who can put their shoes on the fastest, jacket with snaps, or buttons of some kind. Winner gets a sticker everyone else gets a stamp. The kids love doing this.

I tell parents that I do understand that sometimes they have to do it for them, because they may be running late or for whatever reason, but that when they are here, it's time to let them shine!!!!

BTW I have no clue why this came out red on your post>???

The red part is a side note to the astrisk. It was just an example since 3 is normally when they start preschool (but some do start at 2 or 2 1/2); You can have different things that you have for every age group. It was just focusing on these and by the time they are 3 years old you expect them to have mastered most (if not all) of these skills. The note is just ment as a reminder (or a subtle hint) of what you expect from their children and them. Sometimes parents forget rules or lession plans and don't remember. Also sometimes they don't understand that there is a reason for these rules and lessions- as one of my teachers would say: "There is a method to my madness!" (meaing "theres a reason for my rules/lession plan that may not make sense to you now").

[daycare]

The red part is a side note to the astrisk. It was just an example since 3 is normally when they start preschool (but some do start at 2 or 2 1/2); You can have different things that you have for every age group. It was just focusing on these and by the time they are 3 years old you expect them to have mastered most (if not all) of these skills. The note is just ment as a reminder (or a subtle hint) of what you expect from their children and them. Sometimes parents forget rules or lession plans and don't remember. Also sometimes they don't understand that there is a reason for these rules and lessions- as one of my teachers would say: "There is a method to my madness!" (meaing "theres a reason for my rules/lession plan that may not make sense to you now").

got it... sorry I thought that I did something to make your post turn red.....hahah Im out there today....

[jokalima]

Oh wow! Can't believe what I read, DCM said what?

I have a 2.5 yr old that I have him put his own shoes one, I let them do as much as they can by themselves, if I see they really need my help then I will help, but I don't feed them since a little after they were able to grab the spoon, this has helped my own child so much, he feeds himself so good and other kids don't so I ask parents and they say "We feed him because of the mess" I don't think teaching them to be independent is being mean.

[daycare]

Oh wow! Can't believe what I read, DCM said what?

I have a 2.5 yr old that I have him put his own shoes one, I let them do as much as they can by themselves, if I see they really need my help then I will help, but I don't feed them since a little after they were able to grab the spoon, this has helped my own child so much, he feeds himself so good and other kids don't so I ask parents and they say "We feed him because of the mess" I don't think teaching them to be independent is being mean.

I have a 3 year old that his parents feed him at home. The parents just told me this the other day. DCM said btw can I ask you a question and I say sure. She said our son told us that you feed him every day at meals times, is that true? I laughed and said sorry that is not true. I said could you imagine if I had to feed 12 kids everyday?

She laughed and said oh that little boogar told us you feed him everyday during meals so we were doing it too. They said he won't eat if they don't.

I said well I don't mean to sound rude, but I think your wrong about that. If you stop he will have no choice but to do it himself. She did agree...

[snbauser]

If you are mean, then I am too. I make them try. When they can do it, I don't do it. I have had children not be allowed to play outside with us becaue they refuse to put their shoes on. There are always parents who just automatically put their kids shoes on or take them off. I will usually start with "you know little timmy can put his own shoes on by himself?" Most of the time I get the "really? He has been pulling my leg then." But if I see them continuously do it I will actually have the child put their shoes on before the parent arrives. At drop off I usually don't give them a chance to take them off. I will tell the child to say goodbye and give a kiss and a hug. Then when parents leave I tell them to take their shoes off. Saves time and tantrums.

[snbauser]

I have a 3 year old that his parents feed him at home. The parents just told me this the other day. DCM said btw can I ask you a question and I say sure. She said our son told us that you feed him every day at meals times, is that true? I laughed and said sorry that is not true. I said could you imagine if I had to feed 12 kids everyday?

She laughed and said oh that little boogar told us you feed him everyday during meals so we were doing it too. They said he won't eat if they don't.

I said well I don't mean to sound rude, but I think your wrong about that. If you stop he will have no choice but to do it himself. She did agree...

LOL!! I had a 3 year old who used to eat sooooo slow and look almost painful when they were chewing. Came to find out that mom was still pureeing his food and feeding him because it was faster and less of a mess. Needless to say we had to have a long talk about age and developmental appropriateness.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

The two year olds in my program can take off and put on their shoes by themselves but some parents take off their FOUR YEAR OLDS shoes every single day. I now ignore it. I got tired of saying something. If they ever directed it at me I would say, "You are such a big boy/girl, you can do it yourself!"

I had a child throw a tantrum because they wanted ME to put their backpack in their cubby. Their parent put them in time out. LOL!

[LaLa1923]

This is what we are learning they need to know/be able to do to enter kindergarten:

Ability to follow structured daily routines.
• Ability to dress independently.
• Ability to work independently with supervision.
• Ability to listen and pay attention to what someone
else is saying.
• Ability to get along with and cooperate with other
children.
• Ability to play with other children.
• Ability to follow simple rules.
• Ability to work with puzzles, scissors, coloring, paints,
etc.
• Ability to write their own name or to acquire the skill
with instruction.
• Ability to count or acquire the skill with instruction.
• Ability to recite the alphabet (or quickly learn with
instruction).
• Ability to identify both shapes and colors.
• Ability to identify sound units in words and to
recognize rhyme.

Its been a very interesting series!

Do you use a curriculum?

[LaLa1923]

glad that I am not the only one here who feels this way.

I will be addressing this with mom at pick up today. hopefully she will be open to listen and understand that unless there is some physical reason why DCK can't do it himself, then I expect him to do it while he is here and she needs to respect our rules.

The parents all have a full list of everything we do here, along with what they can expect their child to learn from my program....self help skills is #1

Would you mind sharing this?

[MNMum]

I'm even meaner...once they have mastered their skills I expect them to "teach" the littles and help out getting boots/mittens/hats on the toddlers. It actually gives my preschoolers more confidence and they love sharing their skills.

[daycarediva]

The two year olds in my program can take off and put on their shoes by themselves but some parents take off their FOUR YEAR OLDS shoes every single day. I now ignore it. I got tired of saying something. If they ever directed it at me I would say, "You are such a big boy/girl, you can do it yourself!"

I have a 4 year old who has his parents TRAINED. They do shoes, hat, coat, gloves as well. They also CARRY HIM (or put him in the stroller). The child RARELY WALKS. It's ridiculous. He also starts whining/baby talking the second his parent(s) walk in. I tried ONCE to get him to show them how big he is here, it was disastrous and dcm kept trying to assist him/take and dcb kept looking between me & Mom & started throwing a fit. Here he is potty trained, can wipe himself, can completely dress himself including getting shirts untangled/inside out, put shoes on, zipper when started (and tries to zipper by himself) snaps, and can button. I want to start teaching him to tie shoes for goodness sake!