Am I Mean Or Is This What You Guys Do Too?

[daycare]

At my daycare, we are run more like a preschool with extended daycare hours.

My main focus for all of the children is self help skills. I only take children 20 months to 5 years of age as long as they are not enrolled in school.

I start working with the kids the minute they enroll all about self help. Everything from putting on shoes, to self feeding using proper fork,spoon, etc.

ONce the kids show me that they can do something, I then expect them to do it themselves. For example if they show me they can put their own shoes on, then I will not do it for them when they are here.

This morning I had a child age 3.5 come in and refused to take off his own shoes, threw his legs out towards me and said, MIss _____ take my shoes off. I smiled and said, my big boys take their own shoes off, just like you do every single day and i walked away back to what I was doing.

Well dcm gets upset and wants to know why I won't help him. She says oh looks like __________ is in a bad mood today and is not being helpful, I will help you. DCM takes off shoes and leaves.

Am I the only one that has these expectations? BTW I was so mad at the DCM this morning, but I bit my tongue and did not mutter a word...

[Country Kids]

I don't get this at all with parents!

I'm doing a workshop on Kindergarten Readiness-guess what the second characteristic is:

Ability to dress independently (I'm sure this means putting on the shoes)


I'm letting the parents ALL know that I will be implementing this into my program. The children need to put their shoes and coats themselves when parents arrive and they need to be working on it at home also.

[Thetotspot]

Oh man...if a parent said that in front of me i would have lost it. I work with kids on self help skills as well. If they have mastered it i would expect them to do it unless say i was in a hurry and we were late to leave for school or whatnot. But if a kid demanded something like that...gosh i think i would have maybe played silly and tried to get kid to do it. But i have a problem with backbone and probably would have given in in front of parents if kid asked nicely...im still afraid of angering the parental units.

[cheerfuldom]

I would mention it. letting mom know that because you do group care, all the kids are required to learn self help skills. she is welcome to stay for a minute and take his shoes off if it is that big of a deal for her but it is not something you will be doing. He is required to handle all his own personal belongings (shoes, hat, jacket, etc) just like its required at other preschools and certainly in kindergarten. Further, you dont appreciate her voicing that because you require him to show that he is a big boy, that that means you are in a "bad mood". The comment was disrespectful. If she has a question about requirements at your preschool/daycare, she is welcome to discuss it by phone after hours (or whatever way you prefer) but issues are not to be addressed with passive aggressive comments to a child.

[daycare]

I don't get this at all with parents!

I'm doing a workshop on Kindergarten Readiness-guess what the second characteristic is:

Ability to dress independently (I'm sure this means putting on the shoes)


I'm letting the parents ALL know that I will be implementing this into my program. The children need to put their shoes and coats themselves when parents arrive and they need to be working on it at home also.

CK it is more than just shoes, its 100% self Independence in the bathroom. Meaning that they can fully take care of themselves without assistance of any kind in order to be successful in kinder.

Several years ago when I decided to do a kinder ready program here, I went and sat with some kinder teachers at a meeting. I asked them what I could do to better prepare the kids for their class.

they all agreed and said this:

SELF HELP SKILLS and Break them of their naps at least a month before they are to start school.

they said that so many kids struggle with shoe laces and snaps... I do teach the kids snaps and how to tie laces. But we don't start the laces until they are about 4.5.....

[Jewels]

No I would not take the shoes off, although I guess I have occasionaly when I have my 6:30 arrivals( I have 2) and they still seem half asleep, then I will help, but they don't ask, but for all arrivals after that or when they are good and awake, they can do it themselves, they need to be able to.

[kitykids3]

No, I am the exact same way. I think too many parents do too much for their kids. Once I've seen them do it once, then yes, I expect them to be able to do it again. On occassion they may be having a hard time with whatever it is they're doing (putting on jacket, etc.) because they're tired or what have you, so I'll help them, but rarely. and I mean help, not do it for them.

Either way, I always make them at least try, even if it is something they haven't accomplished yet.

Parents might think it's mean or just faster to do it themselves, but in the long run it will save them time later, plus it is good for the kid's self-esteem to learn to do things for themselves, provided it is not too much frustration for them.

As far as your parent this morning, I would have corrected her and told her I was not in a bad mood, that I know dcb can do it himself and I am teaching him to do things for him self.

My parents are told from the interview that self-help skills are a BIG part of my program, so they know that. Sometimes I'll even make occasional comments if a parent is doing something for a dck that they can easily do themselves. Something like "___dck___, how come you're having mommy put on your shoes, you're a big kid and know how to do that." but in a nice voice.

I also tell parents when their child has mastered a new skill, so then the dck can't pull the wool over their eyes saying they can't. It frustrates me to see the parents doing things like that for the kids when I know they can do it themselves. It feels like the progress I make and work I do gets tossed out the window. That's why a lot of the times I have the kiddos get ready before parents come if I can.

[Country Kids]

CK it is more than just shoes, its 100% self Independence in the bathroom. Meaning that they can fully take care of themselves without assistance of any kind in order to be successful in kinder.

Several years ago when I decided to do a kinder ready program here, I went and sat with some kinder teachers at a meeting. I asked them what I could do to better prepare the kids for their class.

they all agreed and said this:

SELF HELP SKILLS and Break them of their naps at least a month before they are to start school.

they said that so many kids struggle with shoe laces and snaps... I do teach the kids snaps and how to tie laces. But we don't start the laces until they are about 4.5.....

Totally agree with everything you are saying sister! Now to get the parents on board!

[daycare]

I would mention it. letting mom know that because you do group care, all the kids are required to learn self help skills. she is welcome to stay for a minute and take his shoes off if it is that big of a deal for her but it is not something you will be doing. He is required to handle all his own personal belongings (shoes, hat, jacket, etc) just like its required at other preschools and certainly in kindergarten. Further, you dont appreciate her voicing that because you require him to show that he is a big boy, that that means you are in a "bad mood". The comment was disrespectful. If she has a question about requirements at your preschool/daycare, she is welcome to discuss it by phone after hours (or whatever way you prefer) but issues are not to be addressed with passive aggressive comments to a child.

first off I was super shocked this dcm said this, but then again, not really.

I just bit my tongue, because I know my brain was not working too well at that time in the morning and I more than likely would have said the wrong thing.

[Heidi]

nope..I'm mean too!

I have a dear daycare parent that takes almost 3 yo' stuff off every morning. I never help him, except to get the zipper on his big coat or one pair of his shoes.

When we come in from outside, he is usually the FIRST one done, and then helps one of his younger friends with his stuff. It's sooo cute!

Yet, the next morning, there's mom, helping him... Oh well, he is her baby. He's not potty trained for the same reason.

[thatdivalady]

I'm still working on toning my attitude down when parents get passive aggressive like that! My reply would have been a light chuckle and then a polite, "I'm actually in a fantastic mood, but little _________ has shown me how much of a big boy he is everyday by _________________!"

[grandmom]

An email or conversation with this mom is essential.

My bigger concern is how she disrespected you in front of her son. She needs to be confronted.

And she needs to be told that she is not to take off the kid's shoes if that is your expectation.

Ohmygosh.

[Country Kids]

This is what we are learning they need to know/be able to do to enter kindergarten:

Ability to follow structured daily routines.
• Ability to dress independently.
• Ability to work independently with supervision.
• Ability to listen and pay attention to what someone
else is saying.
• Ability to get along with and cooperate with other
children.
• Ability to play with other children.
• Ability to follow simple rules.
• Ability to work with puzzles, scissors, coloring, paints,
etc.
• Ability to write their own name or to acquire the skill
with instruction.
• Ability to count or acquire the skill with instruction.
• Ability to recite the alphabet (or quickly learn with
instruction).
• Ability to identify both shapes and colors.
• Ability to identify sound units in words and to
recognize rhyme.

Its been a very interesting series!

[CedarCreek]

I'm still working on toning my attitude down when parents get passive aggressive like that! My reply would have been a light chuckle and then a polite, "I'm actually in a fantastic mood, but little _________ has shown me how much of a big boy he is everyday by _________________!"

I would have said this. I can't believe how rude she was! That was really uncalled for. I guess i'm mean too,I make them start doing things for themselves at about 18 months! Just small things like putting toys away or starting to feed themselves with utensils and then work their way up.

[daycare]

glad that I am not the only one here who feels this way.

I will be addressing this with mom at pick up today. hopefully she will be open to listen and understand that unless there is some physical reason why DCK can't do it himself, then I expect him to do it while he is here and she needs to respect our rules.

The parents all have a full list of everything we do here, along with what they can expect their child to learn from my program....self help skills is #1