Really BAD Kid...

[Country Kids]

Daycarelady if he has bit another child about 100 times this is not ok and something should have been done the 2nd, 3rd, 4th bite and not after 100 bites. How is the parent of the child that has been biten over 100 times reacting to this? I would be livid if I was that parent. Honestly it sound like you need to term even if you can't financially afford to do so. You just can not provide the quality care this child needs and that is not your fault. It is also obvious that you feel very negative towards this child and he will pick up on that and that is not fair to him.

The child is her own that is being bit.

[My3cents]

That is what is confusing me as well. :confused:

Keeping the DCK's safe is their mother's responsibility. NOT yours.

I am just having a really hard time understanding how a mother could allow her own child to be the one who is getting the short end of the stick in this situation.

OP, are you at all concerned about how your own son is doing in this situation? He looks to YOU for protection, comfort and security and you are insteading making those things a priority for another child.

Several posters have brought this up and you have yet to address this line of thinking.

FWIW~ WORST mistake I ever made in child care was getting emotionally invested in saving a child. The intentions were good from the start but the ending was bad. VERY bad.

Please put YOUR child first.

Care to share BC? You can private me , just remind me to look at my messages. I forget about that section on the forums.

[Blackcat31]

I don't feel she is being dramatic at all. Reading some of these posts even made me go whoa-whats going on here.

Remember she was looking for a solution not being told what she is doing is wrong and messed up.

She IS being dramatic. She is mad because she feels everyone is all down on her and thinks she is a horrible person... NO ONE said that...she is being defensive to the advice and suggestions SHE asked for.

She asked for advice. She is getting it. It is just not the words she wanted to hear. I can't help that and I can't help how someone interprets the advice and suggestions she asked for.

OP said "If y'all want to think I'm an awful person for saying he is "bad"...go right ahead. At this point it doesn't bother me. He has bitten another child about 100 times since he started coming here. The biting, the running, the hitting, the standing on toys...it's becoming a safety issue & I'm just looking for some advice from fellow providers. If you don't have anything constructive to say, how 'bout you just skip this post?"

Obviously, some of the responses DO bother her, although no one said she was an awful person.

I also have to wonder why she feels it is ok to say the child in question is bad but then the OP gets all huffy when she thinks the forum members are calling or saying she is bad? That makes no sense to me.

She (OP) NEEDS to be told that it isn't ok to allow a child (her own or any other) to be bitten by another child over 100 times!

She NEEDS to be told that she is hurting her own child emotionally and physically by allowing another child's needs to be more impotant.

If she doesn't like the advice and suggestions given, then don't take it. Don't ask if you aren't willing to hear ALL sides, ALL opinions and ALL sorts of different responses. That is the beauty of an on-line PUBLIC forum.

[Blackcat31]

Oh its not a financial issue at all. I make almost no money off this family. The reason I haven't lost a family due to the biting is because he bites MY child. And the reason I won't term is because his 3 year old sister has been molested twice by other people in other scenarios, and I have made it my personal mission to keep this child safe. I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense to anyone else.

If this really truly has nothing to do with money, then the perfect solution for everyone is for you to give free child care to the sister and have the mother find other care for the boy.

That way with you providing free care to the child you are concerned about, the mother can financially afford to find alternate care for the daycare boy.

Works for you, for your child, the daycare girl and the daycare boy.

[My3cents]

She IS being dramatic. She is mad because she feels everyone is all down on her and thinks she is a horrible person... NO ONE said that...she is being defensive to the advice and suggestions SHE asked for.

She asked for advice. She is getting it. It is just not the words she wanted to hear. I can't help that and I can't help how someone interprets the advice and suggestions she asked for.

OP said "If y'all want to think I'm an awful person for saying he is "bad"...go right ahead. At this point it doesn't bother me. He has bitten another child about 100 times since he started coming here. The biting, the running, the hitting, the standing on toys...it's becoming a safety issue & I'm just looking for some advice from fellow providers. If you don't have anything constructive to say, how 'bout you just skip this post?"

Obviously, some of the responses DO bother her, although no one said she was an awful person.

I also have to wonder why she feels it is ok to say the child in question is bad but then the OP gets all huffy when she thinks the forum members are calling or saying she is bad? That makes no sense to me.

She (OP) NEEDS to be told that it isn't ok to allow a child (her own or any other) to be bitten by another child over 100 times!

She NEEDS to be told that she is hurting her own child emotionally and physically by allowing another child's needs to be more impotant.

If she doesn't like the advice and suggestions given, then don't take it. Don't ask if you aren't willing to hear ALL sides, ALL opinions and ALL sorts of different responses. That is the beauty of an on-line PUBLIC forum.

Aaaaaaaaaaaayeap!!!! All the Above-


It feels like trolls lately- maybe, maybe not. Just saying-

[Country Kids]

Aaaaaaaaaaaayeap!!!! All the Above-


It feels like trolls lately- maybe, maybe not. Just saying-

No she has been a member since last summer-no trolling from her.

[makap]

You commented about this child on another members thread.

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?p=310223#post310223

"
I had a little boy here tonight from 2:30-10:15 pm that fell asleep 3 times!! He took a nap right after his mom left, he fell asleep after being placed in a time out for running in circles inside my house over & over, and then he fell asleep again around 9:30 when I put him down for bed. Personally I think that's crazy, but his mom is a single mom going to nursing school full time & working part time...who knows what this kid's weekend was like?! I don't really question it. If they're tired, let 'em sleep. The only time I ever do it differently is if the parent says, "Little Johnny isn't sleeping well for me at night...could you please not let him sleep past 3:00 today?"


Wow! It seems to me maybe it is because this little boy is not treated well (spanking, locked in room), has no routine, no schedule which would greatly contribute to all of these problems.

[Country Kids]

Also, did anyone remember she is still pretty newly pregnant and I'm sure she is pretty emotional with that right now. She shared the awesome news I believe yesterday that the ultrasound/heart beat came out great.

I'm pretty sure she is just having some high emotions right now, probably a little overwhelmed and just looking for support, not wanting to second guess herself.

[Crystal]

My Professional advice to the OP is this:

You state the mother has told you that she spanks her child multiple times and locks him in his room. That, my friend, is child abuse. As a mandated reporter it is your responsibility to report this to children's protective services. This mother is not meeting the needs of her child, she is SPANKING A 16 MONTH OLD and LOCKING HIM IN HIS ROOM his aggression IS a direct result of how she is treating him and he NEEDS intervention immediatley. I am completely floored by this information and would have contacted CPS the very second she told me that. I would have told her as much as well.

I implore you to contact CPS TODAY. Your concern, you say, is about this child's safety. If it is, you MUST make that call. Even if it isn't, you MUST make that call.

I wish you the best.

[crazydaycarelady]

I have not had time to read all of the responses but I do know that between the age of 1yo and 2yo is the hardest age for me to deal with. In this situation I wonder if you could use a play yard (like a gate type enclosure) to put him at times so that YOU can get a break. I have one and I put the 1yos in it at times - like when the older kids are dong a project. I have also had 1yos that ignore every toy I have but go from one "bad" thing to another - try and pull the outlet covers off, then head to the toilet to play around, try and go up the stairs, take a toy from someone, hit the dog........ I want to scream "just sit down and play with some toys!!!"



I think this forum could be better used if we offerred support instead of make people feel bad. I know it is possible to have the kind of forum that is loving and supportive because I go to another dcboard and the atmosphere there is very supportive and non-judgemental. People come here for help not to be ridiculed.

[Crystal]

Also, did anyone remember she is still pretty newly pregnant and I'm sure she is pretty emotional with that right now. She shared the awesome news I believe yesterday that the ultrasound/heart beat came out great.

I'm pretty sure she is just having some high emotions right now, probably a little overwhelmed and just looking for support, not wanting to second guess herself.

CK, I appreciate you standing up for a member when you feel they are being attacked, but honestly, allowing your own child to be "abused" by another for the sake of keeping/protecting another child is a concern.

I agree she is emotional partially due to her pregnancy, however no one here actually bashed her, called her horrible or did anything to warrant her overreaction.

I sympathize with her struggle, however she could easily resolve it AND protect her own child by terminating care. AFTER she calls CPS.

[Crystal]

OP....

I do not want to berate you. I want to give you some advice as a friend, and I hope you take it as such.

Your child is young now, and you may not feel that he will ever resent you for protecting this other child while allowing him to be the victim of this child, however, I assure you, in time it will come back to haunt you.

Our children already sacrifice enough every day by having to share thier Mommy, their home and their belongings with other people's children. That alone is enough for them to resent us as parents as they get older. I would hate for, in 5-10-15 years for you to realize how much your child actually resents what you are allowing.

I believe that your cause, protecting this other child, is noble. However, I do believe and KNOW that you will come to regret it one day.

Please do not sacrifice the relationship you could have with your child in the future. Please.

[Meeko]

The point of this board is support. Support doesn't always mean only saying nice things. Sometimes it means saying /hearing a few home truths.

I understand the OP is very stressed. I admire her wanting to care for children who have been abused in the past.

But the hard cold fact is the children are STILL being abused. Locking a baby in a room and spanking him is child abuse. The mother needs to be reported.

Letting a child get bitten over and over again is child abuse and needs to be stopped.

The OP cannot continue to OK/excuse her own child being hurt. HE should be more important to her than any daycare child ever should be.

OP...you are NOT failing if you tell the mom that you cannot meet the needs of her son. Tell her you cannot allow your son to be abused any longer.

If you REALLY CARE for this child, call CPS. They will assess the situation and help the mother if they can. She cannot continue to lock him up or hit him. You are allowing it to happen if you don't speak up.

[Heidi]

My Professional advice to the OP is this:

You state the mother has told you that she spanks her child multiple times and locks him in his room. That, my friend, is child abuse. As a mandated reporter it is your responsibility to report this to children's protective services. This mother is not meeting the needs of her child, she is SPANKING A 16 MONTH OLD and LOCKING HIM IN HIS ROOM his aggression IS a direct result of how she is treating him and he NEEDS intervention immediatley. I am completely floored by this information and would have contacted CPS the very second she told me that. I would have told her as much as well.

I implore you to contact CPS TODAY. Your concern, you say, is about this child's safety. If it is, you MUST make that call. Even if it isn't, you MUST make that call.

I wish you the best.

absolutely!

[Country Kids]

The point of this board is support. Support doesn't always mean only saying nice things. Sometimes it means saying /hearing a few home truths.

I understand the OP is very stressed. I admire her wanting to care for children who have been abused in the past.

But the hard cold fact is the children are STILL being abused. Locking a baby in a room and spanking him is child abuse. The mother needs to be reported.

Letting a child get bitten over and over again is child abuse and needs to be stopped.

The OP cannot continue to OK/excuse her own child being hurt. HE should be more important to her than any daycare child ever should be.

OP...you are NOT failing if you tell the mom that you cannot meet the needs of her son. Tell her you cannot allow your son to be abused any longer.

If you REALLY CARE for this child, call CPS. They will assess the situation and help the mother if they can. She cannot continue to lock him up or hit him. You are allowing it to happen if you don't speak up.

I have to say spanking a child isn't abuse. Here is something from my state website:

Physical abuse includes:

•Bruises or cuts
•Head injuries
•Poisoning
•Fractures, sprains
•Burns or scalds
•Internal injuries
•Electrical shocks
•Death

Although not recommended, spanking is not abuse. However, a spanking which leaves marks or bruises on a child might be abuse. Bruises anywhere on a baby are serious.

I find it interesting they even say it MIGHT be but not a for sure thing.


When I felt overwhelmed when my kids were little, you know what the professionals would say-put you child into their room and take a break. Why, because it gave you some time to calm down and collect your thoughts.

If CPS was called for everyone that spanked their child, I don't think there would be enough tax dollars to run the agency anymore.