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Sigh......
Crystal. When you make statements like......
......it implies that you DO, in fact, have some secret, savvy system of detecting what a parent will do for the BETTERMENT of their child down the road. You imply that you are better than other providers. You imply to new providers that they are doing it wrong.
There are providers who come here for advice and counsel. It does no one any good to tell only half the facts. To claim that you only have perfect, golden families is not truthful. Sure, you might have some perfect, golden families - we all do. But there are always those that fall short of the mark. New providers need to know that they are not alone in their struggles and conflicts within daycare. They need to feel supported and have their situation recognized - not told they are doing something wrong - that they are missing out on the secret detection system. Good Lord. If every parent a provider had EVER had is Golden then that provider is either lacking in realism or has very low standards.
When parents come to interview they are always on their very best behaviour. If you, like I, claim to be interviewing THEM for acceptance into care then YOU know that the parents come in and say all the right things. Not once, in all the years of providing care have I had a parent sit in an interview and claim that yes, in a year's time they will be glad to dump off their child on non work days. Never happened. In fact, I would prefer that they DID say that - at least they would be honest and have a shred of realism.
When parents interview I honestly think that they DO believe what they say; that they can't stand the thought of not being able to stay home with their child. That they want to spend every second they can with their child. They are genuine in these statements. But, experience has told me, and many, many, other providers that the longer a child is in care the more comfortable parents become with leaving their child in daycare on non work days. I can not tell you how often a parent has dropped off on a "work" day in yoga pants and a pony tail with not a word as to the fact they are having a "ME" day.
Daycare evolves. Parents start out on the first day in tears as they leave their child. Two weeks later they are saying quick good-byes. Two months later they are going to the gym between work and pick up. Six months later they are bringing the child to care and taking a "Me" day. A year later they are taking entire weeks off and still bringing their child.
I love my job. There are some really, really great aspects to being a daycare provider. Really great. That's the truth. But it's not the whole truth. The other side of the truth is that sometimes there are really, really ****ty parents out there. And the other half of that truth is that sometimes you get down right angry and sad FOR a child who has just spent day 5 of his parents' vacation time in daycare. THAT'S the truth.
Let's start telling the WHOLE truth. Not just the warm fuzzy truth. Let's start allowing other providers who are having a bad day or pissed off because a child's parent is having their 24th "Me" day the benefit of not feeling alone. Not feeling like "the only one". Let's embrace them and let them know that yep, sometimes daycare ****s and we understand.
Let's NOT make them feel "less than". Let's not make them feel like they are missing something (an interview technique) that does not exist. That does not foster support for other providers. The world has enough negative provider sterotypes.
How about we start talking the WHOLE truth?
There are plenty of women on here who are not afraid to admit that they love their jobs but that they also really dislike certain aspects. I think Nannyde does a good job at balancing that. I give her kudos for having the gonads to at least say what she thinks.
If you think it acceptable for a parent to take 24 "ME" days a year while their child is in your care then fine. That's your take on it. If it doesn't bother YOU then it doesn't bother YOU. Whatever. You are entitled to that belief. But please, do NOT imply that you have the ability to weed out those people in an interview; because that IS what you said whether it be those exact words or not.
Crystal. When you make statements like......
I simply refuse to enroll a family when it is clearly obvious that a parent is so self-involved that they will "neglect" their children so that can have or do whatever they want.
There are providers who come here for advice and counsel. It does no one any good to tell only half the facts. To claim that you only have perfect, golden families is not truthful. Sure, you might have some perfect, golden families - we all do. But there are always those that fall short of the mark. New providers need to know that they are not alone in their struggles and conflicts within daycare. They need to feel supported and have their situation recognized - not told they are doing something wrong - that they are missing out on the secret detection system. Good Lord. If every parent a provider had EVER had is Golden then that provider is either lacking in realism or has very low standards.
When parents come to interview they are always on their very best behaviour. If you, like I, claim to be interviewing THEM for acceptance into care then YOU know that the parents come in and say all the right things. Not once, in all the years of providing care have I had a parent sit in an interview and claim that yes, in a year's time they will be glad to dump off their child on non work days. Never happened. In fact, I would prefer that they DID say that - at least they would be honest and have a shred of realism.
When parents interview I honestly think that they DO believe what they say; that they can't stand the thought of not being able to stay home with their child. That they want to spend every second they can with their child. They are genuine in these statements. But, experience has told me, and many, many, other providers that the longer a child is in care the more comfortable parents become with leaving their child in daycare on non work days. I can not tell you how often a parent has dropped off on a "work" day in yoga pants and a pony tail with not a word as to the fact they are having a "ME" day.
Daycare evolves. Parents start out on the first day in tears as they leave their child. Two weeks later they are saying quick good-byes. Two months later they are going to the gym between work and pick up. Six months later they are bringing the child to care and taking a "Me" day. A year later they are taking entire weeks off and still bringing their child.
I love my job. There are some really, really great aspects to being a daycare provider. Really great. That's the truth. But it's not the whole truth. The other side of the truth is that sometimes there are really, really ****ty parents out there. And the other half of that truth is that sometimes you get down right angry and sad FOR a child who has just spent day 5 of his parents' vacation time in daycare. THAT'S the truth.
Let's start telling the WHOLE truth. Not just the warm fuzzy truth. Let's start allowing other providers who are having a bad day or pissed off because a child's parent is having their 24th "Me" day the benefit of not feeling alone. Not feeling like "the only one". Let's embrace them and let them know that yep, sometimes daycare ****s and we understand.
Let's NOT make them feel "less than". Let's not make them feel like they are missing something (an interview technique) that does not exist. That does not foster support for other providers. The world has enough negative provider sterotypes.
How about we start talking the WHOLE truth?
There are plenty of women on here who are not afraid to admit that they love their jobs but that they also really dislike certain aspects. I think Nannyde does a good job at balancing that. I give her kudos for having the gonads to at least say what she thinks.
If you think it acceptable for a parent to take 24 "ME" days a year while their child is in your care then fine. That's your take on it. If it doesn't bother YOU then it doesn't bother YOU. Whatever. You are entitled to that belief. But please, do NOT imply that you have the ability to weed out those people in an interview; because that IS what you said whether it be those exact words or not.
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