Is it Common For Parents to Vacation Without Children?

[skittles]

It seems all my dcf are taking a week (or two) off without kids. They will still bring their kids to daycare (same time) and go out on daytrips ect for a week or two. Is this pretty much the same for everyone? Does anyone ever take "family vacations anymore?" Times have changed I guess.

[jen]

Hmmm...I've had parents go on vacation and not take the kids, but not stay in town. Usually they are headed to Mexico or on a cruise or something.

[boysx5]

yes it does seem to be the norm nowadays. I have one family who takes one week a year with the kids but they take their days when they want them without kids but never seem to have time to take a day off to take their kids to the dr. like today when they are sick dont' get some parents

[MN Mom]

My husband and I do 1 week vacation without the kids, and 1 week vacation with the kids. We don't go out often as a couple, so we use the week without to "re-kindle". We do the mommy and daddy vacation before the kids vacation, so when we do the vacay with the kids we are rejuvinated and enjoy our time with them more.

Though with husband working on our farm, and me being a SAHM we get a lot of time with our children as it is. (Alot of times it's doing chores as a family, yard work, garden time etc...but it's still bonding!)

[My Daycare]

I would love to go on vacation without the kids, but when I had days off of work I did not take the kids to daycare.

[tenderhearts]

Whether is common or not I'm not sure, but I would never go on vacation without my kids, ever, they always went with us every where. Now that they are older and can stay home if they choose not to go it is nice that we have that time alone together.

[QualiTcare]

in six years - my husband and i have spent 4 nights away from the kids - it was on a vacation to the beach. it was great and i didn't feel bad about it one bit.

they normally come with us, but i do think it's something we SHOULD do every year - a vacation with them/one without them.

[judytrickett]

Sadly, yes, it is becoming the norm.

Should it be the "norm"? NO!

Is the "norm" always the "right"? NO!

Do their kids pick up on this? YES!

Will their kids grow up to understand that their parents really didn't want to spend time with them? YES!

Is this selfish parenting? ABSOLUTELY!

Am I judgemental? YOU BETCHA! ((but someone needs to speak up for those little people who can't while mommy and daddy ligag off to Lord knows what after dumping them in daycare all day))

[booroo]

I don't get a week away... Maybe a weekend get away ( which I have done) but my parents took care of my kids.... When I go on vacation I want my kids to enjoy it too...

[professionalmom]

Sadly, yes, it is becoming the norm.

Should it be the "norm"? NO!

Is the "norm" always the "right"? NO!

Do their kids pick up on this? YES!

Will their kids grow up to understand that their parents really didn't want to spend time with them? YES!

Is this selfish parenting? ABSOLUTELY!

Am I judgemental? YOU BETCHA! ((but someone needs to speak up for those little people who can't while mommy and daddy ligag off to Lord knows what after dumping them in daycare all day))

Tell it like it is SISTER!! I agree!! I have seen single moms, where dad is NOT is the picture at all, have their kids in daycare for 50-70 hours a week, every week. Then the mom thinks she "deserves" a week off to fly off to God knows where while leaving the kid(s) with grandma.

Now, I am going to brag! My DD will be 2 on Friday. She has spent no more than a grand total of 180 hours away from me in her entire LIFE! 40 of those hours were with grandma A while I took care of grandma B following major surgery. 8 of those hours were when I recertified for CPR and First Aid (grandma A babysat again). All the rest were for periods of less than 4 hours (usually 1 hour) while I made quick runs to the store, bank, or doctor (daddy stayed with her). Only about 3-4 of those times were for "date nights" with DH. Oh, and most of these short separations occurred when she was asleep. But once the twins are born and around 4 or 5 years old, we might let my in-laws (grandma & step-grandpa) take the kids to their lakehouse for a week or so in the summer - MAYBE. But DH & I intend that vacations will almost always be family vacations. Especially since we may homeschool and use vacations as learning trips - like to the Grand Canyon, Niagra Falls, Washington DC, etc.

[QualiTcare]

Sadly, yes, it is becoming the norm.

Should it be the "norm"? NO!

Is the "norm" always the "right"? NO!

Do their kids pick up on this? YES!

Will their kids grow up to understand that their parents really didn't want to spend time with them? YES!

Is this selfish parenting? ABSOLUTELY!

Am I judgemental? YOU BETCHA! ((but someone needs to speak up for those little people who can't while mommy and daddy ligag off to Lord knows what after dumping them in daycare all day))

so, are you a selfish parent that doesn't want to spend time with your kid(s) if you take 2,3, or even 4 trips without your kid(s) in eighteen years?

what if you take a vacation (3-5 days) every 5,6, or 7 years without the kids, but you NEVER have date nights or use babysitters?

are people who get a babysitter once a week or even once a month but don't go on a vacation better than someone that has never had a sitter but then goes on a vacation?

just wondering - cus i went on a 4 day trip and it was the first time my husband and i had been alone in six years. we don't use babysitters or have "date nights." we had our kids EVERY NIGHT (like we should) so i didn't see anything selfish about taking a short vacation alone. i personally think anyone that goes YEARS without babysitters deserves a break, but i'm also selfish so i could be wrong.

[tmcp2001]

I don't think it's (always) selfish when parents vacation without their children - whether their children are in full time care or not. Just because people have children doesn't mean that they cease to exist as independent beings - ones who need time to rest and rejuvenate - and sometimes time to reconnect with a spouse or SO. Life with young children is HARD. It's demanding, never-ending and exhausting. Give people a break!

Another thing - since when is it a bad thing for children to have other adults love and care for them occasionally? I'm so incredibly thankful to have my parents, sisters, in-laws and sisters-in-law and yes, when I was working our DCP, around to help us with our four children! I think my kids are incredibly lucky to be growing up so close to their extended family!

We have taken 3 vacations sans children in 9 years. Two weekends away and one four day trip to Las Vegas. They were WONDERFUL and a much needed break from our "real" lives. Our kids spent special time at their grandparents and we came back refreshed and ready to jump in again. This is a GOOD thing people! Plus, we routinely vacation WITH our children AND our extended family. (And, I'm home with my kids 24/7 the rest of the time - sheesh!)

*Oh, and to clarify - I know there are people who simply don't want to deal with their children but I sincerely believe that most people who vacation without their children do not fall into this category.*

[judytrickett]

so, are you a selfish parent that doesn't want to spend time with your kid(s) if you take 2,3, or even 4 trips without your kid(s) in eighteen years?

what if you take a vacation (3-5 days) every 5,6, or 7 years without the kids, but you NEVER have date nights or use babysitters?

are people who get a babysitter once a week or even once a month but don't go on a vacation better than someone that has never had a sitter but then goes on a vacation?

just wondering - cus i went on a 4 day trip and it was the first time my husband and i had been alone in six years. we don't use babysitters or have "date nights." we had our kids EVERY NIGHT (like we should) so i didn't see anything selfish about taking a short vacation alone. i personally think anyone that goes YEARS without babysitters deserves a break, but i'm also selfish so i could be wrong.

Let's face it. What we ALL know we are talking about here are parents who have 4,6,8 or even more PAID vacation weeks a year and never, ever spend a single one of those days with their kids but dump them in daycare instead. We all see it all the time these days.

I DO think there CAN be a balance but I'm personally not seeing that balance. Here's what I see happening.....

Parents are on paid vacation and decide to stay home but bring their kids to daycare every...single...day of that time off from the minute the provider opens to the minute they close.

Parents on paid vacation who chose to go away. They leave the kids with grandma for the week and grandma brings the kids to daycare all week long.

Hell, now I even see parents with two weeks off over CHRISTMAS who bring their kids every freaking day the provider is open. I mean, seriously, if you can't even spend time with your kids on what, for them, is one of the most magical times of childhood then yes, I WILL deem them selfish.

As with anything in life no one falls into the 100% category of anything. But there are PLENTY of parents out there who fall into the 99% category.

I have had kids in care whose parents pay on time, are never late, follow the policies, would NEVER think to send their kid sick to care. But those SAME parents (whom any provider would thank their lucky stars to have) never, in the 3 or 4 years their kids were in care spent a SINGLE vacation day with them.

Now, how is THAT not selfish?

I think that what people HERE on this forum need to remember is that for the most part, because we stay at home with our kids WE see the importance of our PRESENCE in their daily lives. We do NOT fall into the 99% club.

I also know that a lot of people think I am judgemental, a bitch and off-base. But really, I'm just speaking and writing the truth that so many people are either not willing to consciously acknowledge or too afraid to say themselves. I honestly don't feel that I am alone in my sentiments and views toward the manner in which most children are simply taken for granted by their parents in this world we have created.

[professionalmom]

I also know that a lot of people think I am judgemental, a bitch and off-base. But really, I'm just speaking and writing the truth that so many people are either not willing to consciously acknowledge or too afraid to say themselves. I honestly don't feel that I am alone in my sentiments and views toward the manner in which most children are simply taken for granted by their parents in this world we have created.

Exactly. No one here was talking about the occasional vacation. I understood it to mean the parents that use every possible moment they can to be AWAY from their kids and not have to actually PARENT them. Everyone needs a break. And when my children are older and can handle it, we plan to get away a little bit. But when they are 12 months old and already spend 50+ hours in daycare away from mom and never see dad? Come on people. No one ever said that parents are selfish if they take the occasional vacation without their children. It's amazing how some people will overexaggerate a comment someone else makes and take it so personally, even when it was is no way directly at them personally. Sheesh!

Judy, how do we get misinterrupted so easily? Wow!

[nannyde]

It's been MANY years since I have had a parent tell me they were taking the kids out for a week to go on a family vacation.

I've seen some three day and a few four day weekends to go to weddings or family vacations. I've seen some kids going to stay with grandparents or relatives while the parents take vacation and the parents spending a day or two on the front end of the vacation or back end of the vacation WITH their kids.

I've had a number of deals where the grandparents have come to town to care for the kid/s in their homes while the parents go on vacation but still bring the kid to day care every day.

Even with my two weeks off a year I'm not seeing parents use that time to actually go on vacation with thier kids. Most... not all... of my kids are being cared for by someone else while I'm on vacation. Some parents do a few of the days and then then the kid goes to a relative or another day care while I'm on vacation.

It would be interesting to hear from the travel industry to see the trends of tickets bought for under five year olds and "family" vacation packages that include under five year olds. I'll betcha a cyber buck that that has decreased DRAMATICALLY in the last five years.

I think the idea of a family vacation that is about doing stuff with your kids for your kids is becoming less and less a part of the cultural norm. Maybe not so much with school agers and up but for the under five crowd... I think that's really really declined.

I have a large provider network of friends here who have done day care for many years. We talk about this alot because it's very different than it used to be. When I did care in the 90's it was almost understood that each kid would be gone at least two weeks of the year. We sort of figured that into the deal. When looking at this current generation of parents none of us are seeing families actually go on vacation WITH their kids.. meaning for a week they have their kids with them doing stuff as a family every day. A few days here and there maybe but not a dedicated family vacation where all the family is together the whole time.

My friends and I am seeing a huge increase of parents taking actual VACATIONS without their kids. I'm not talking about a long weekend at for holidays but actual week long trips to far away .. have to fly there... destinations. Other than teachers kids, none of us can even tell you the last time we had a family take a full week of vacation together where they did something that was for the whole family and the whole family stayed together with the parents caring for the kids the whole time doing full family activities for a full week.....either in town or out of town for so long none of us even remember when it happened last.

I'm sure some of it is the economy. Some of my families don't have the funds to take a week off and some of them save their vacation paid days for sick days... which I do appreciate.

I don't give free weeks off for vacation but some of my friends do. What they are seeing is that when parents are using the free week off it is when they have free child care NOT when they are going on vacations. None of my friends are seeing parents take the for a full week to take vacations with their kids. Many of my friends who offer this don't even have the parents using it. The ones that require a full week at a time ... not you can have ten days here and there... but a scheduled full week where you don't have to pay... are having kids go years without the parents even using it. The ones that allow it to be done one day at a time are seeing kids gone for the ten days but it's not for vacation but rather days when the parent has someone else to care for the kid or long weekends when the family is going out of town.

So question to you ladies: Do you have parents who take their kids out of day care for one full week and go somewhere or do something as a family WITH their kids where the parents are caring for the kids wall to wall for a week straight?