Children Cleaning Up After A Toilet Accident

**Willow** · 10-26-2012, 10:18 AM

Originally posted by AnneCordelia

The one that shows having a healthy, developmentally normal child help clean up a pee accident is damaging.

I never made that claim though.

What I said is a child feeling shamed for accidents (via a furrowed brow, punishment, yelling or the like) has great potential to be damaging.

ECS - give me a minute to dig some of that information up

**EntropyControlSpecialist** · 10-26-2012, 10:21 AM

Originally posted by Willow

I never made that claim though.

What I said is a child feeling shamed for accidents (via a furrowed brow, punishment, yelling or the like) has great potential to be damaging.

ECS - give me a minute to dig some of that information up

Thanks girl! I would LOVE to send home some articles to my overeager parents. It stresses all of us out. happyface

**Willow** · 10-26-2012, 10:43 AM

Access Denied

http://www.babble.com/toddler/toddler-health-safety/dangers-potty-training-early/

Toilet Training

http://www.aafp.org/afp/2008/1101/p1059.html

Toilet training is a developmental task that impacts families with small children. All healthy children are eventually toilet trained, and most complete the task without medical intervention. Most research on toilet training is descriptive, although some is evidence based. In the United States, the average age at which training begins has increased over the past four decades from earlier than 18 months of age to between 21 and 36 months of age. Newer studies suggest no benefit of intensive training before 27 months of age. Mastery of the developmental skills required for toilet training occurs after 24 months of age. Girls usually complete training earlier than boys. Numerous toilet-training methods are available. The Brazelton child-oriented approach uses physiologic maturity, ability to understand and respond to external feedback, and internal motivation to assess readiness. Dr. Spock's toilet-training approach is another popular method used by parents. The American Academy of Pediatrics incorporates components of the child-oriented approach into its guidelines for toilet training. "Toilet training in a day," a method by Azrin and Foxx, emphasizes operant conditioning and teaches specific toileting components. Because each family and child are unique, recommendations about the ideal time or optimal method must be customized. Family physicians should provide guidance about toilet-training methods and identify children who have difficulty reaching developmental milestones.

There are study links and citations listed in the above links. Most of what I have on hand is written information from trainings I've taken and I can't locate it online!

Basically everything that's written in the above supports what I've been taught in recent years and the choices I've made for my own kids.

**EntropyControlSpecialist** · 10-26-2012, 10:49 AM

Originally posted by Willow

http://www.babble.com/toddler/toddle...raining-early/

Toilet Training

http://www.aafp.org/afp/2008/1101/p1059.html

Toilet training is a developmental task that impacts families with small children. All healthy children are eventually toilet trained, and most complete the task without medical intervention. Most research on toilet training is descriptive, although some is evidence based. In the United States, the average age at which training begins has increased over the past four decades from earlier than 18 months of age to between 21 and 36 months of age. Newer studies suggest no benefit of intensive training before 27 months of age. Mastery of the developmental skills required for toilet training occurs after 24 months of age. Girls usually complete training earlier than boys. Numerous toilet-training methods are available. The Brazelton child-oriented approach uses physiologic maturity, ability to understand and respond to external feedback, and internal motivation to assess readiness. Dr. Spock's toilet-training approach is another popular method used by parents. The American Academy of Pediatrics incorporates components of the child-oriented approach into its guidelines for toilet training. "Toilet training in a day," a method by Azrin and Foxx, emphasizes operant conditioning and teaches specific toileting components. Because each family and child are unique, recommendations about the ideal time or optimal method must be customized. Family physicians should provide guidance about toilet-training methods and identify children who have difficulty reaching developmental milestones.

There are study links and citations listed in the above links. Most of what I have on hand is written information from trainings I've taken and I can't locate it online!

Basically everything that's written in the above supports what I've been taught in recent years and the choices I've made for my own kids.

Thank you! I just posted the dangers one on my DC's facebook page. One Mom is having issues now with UTI's and bedwetting from her 3.5-year-old who was potty trained awhile back. This could be why!

**JenNJ** · 10-26-2012, 11:33 AM

I have to wonder that if we do ask children to help with cleaning themselves/the area after an accident if it would take the stigma off. It makes no sense that the person responsible for the accident would hand off the clean up to another person. That isn't how it works in the adult world and I feel that my job as a parent and caregiver is to have them grow to be responsible, caring adults.

IMO, I think that by having the child clean it up WITH a parent/caregiver, it takes the stigma off and makes it a teachable moment that has nothing to do with the potty. By teaching a child how to gracefully handle an accidental situation, I feel that it makes it very valuable moment. You are teaching patience by your own reaction, personal responsibility by their cleaning up, and team work by working together. By having this sort of policy from day one, it would teach that accidents are normal, to be expected, and not a big deal.

On the other hand, I can see that a child who has never been asked to clean up an accident and then is at 4/5 years old would be shamed by this. But I have to wonder that if we just have an inclusive attitude about accidents from day one if these feelings would ever arise. After all, I don't find it shaming to clean up someone else's accidents, so why should they feel ashamed to clean up their own unless that is the stigma attached.

But, I personally think this age of avoidance and babying is a little extreme. Kids have less responsibility than ever and it isn't to their advantage. This generation of kids is going to have issues in the real world. I'm not a hard a$$, but I do feel that most kids will rise to the expectations set forth. Kids need responsibility to grow strong and I am just not sold on the idea that less responsibility grow people of character.

Sorry -- that was way longer than expected and a little off topic! :

:

**SilverSabre25** · 10-26-2012, 11:46 AM

Originally posted by JenNJ

I have to wonder that if we do ask children to help with cleaning themselves/the area after an accident if it would take the stigma off. It makes no sense that the person responsible for the accident would hand off the clean up to another person. That isn't how it works in the adult world and I feel that my job as a parent and caregiver is to have them grow to be responsible, caring adults.

IMO, I think that by having the child clean it up WITH a parent/caregiver, it takes the stigma off and makes it a teachable moment that has nothing to do with the potty. By teaching a child how to gracefully handle an accidental situation, I feel that it makes it very valuable moment. You are teaching patience by your own reaction, personal responsibility by their cleaning up, and team work by working together. By having this sort of policy from day one, it would teach that accidents are normal, to be expected, and not a big deal.

On the other hand, I can see that a child who has never been asked to clean up an accident and then is at 4/5 years old would be shamed by this. But I have to wonder that if we just have an inclusive attitude about accidents from day one if these feelings would ever arise. After all, I don't find it shaming to clean up someone else's accidents, so why should they feel ashamed to clean up their own unless that is the stigma attached.

But, I personally think this age of avoidance and babying is a little extreme. Kids have less responsibility than ever and it isn't to their advantage. This generation of kids is going to have issues in the real world. I'm not a hard a$$, but I do feel that most kids will rise to the expectations set forth. Kids need responsibility to grow strong and I am just not sold on the idea that less responsibility grow people of character.

Sorry -- that was way longer than expected and a little off topic! :

:

I don't think it's off topic at all! I think you have a very valid point and it's sort of what I've been thinking all day.

**youretooloud** · 10-26-2012, 11:57 AM

I don't get mad. I don't have them clean up the puddle. But, I do hand them an empty bag, clean clothes and send them into the bathroom to fix themselves. I don't help them dress or undress.....especially undress. If they are too young to undress themselves and put it in a bag, they are too young for undies.

I'll admit.. I do get a little mad when they pee right on my bathroom floor. I'm thinking "You came in here..and and then...what?"

**EntropyControlSpecialist** · 10-26-2012, 12:09 PM

Originally posted by youretooloud

I don't get mad. I don't have them clean up the puddle. But, I do hand them an empty bag, clean clothes and send them into the bathroom to fix themselves. I don't help them dress or undress.....especially undress. If they are too young to undress themselves and put it in a bag, they are too young for undies.

I'll admit.. I do get a little mad when they pee right on my bathroom floor. I'm thinking "You came in here..and and then...what?"

I keep a large beach towel in the bathroom for this very reason. The large puddles right in front of the toilet take a loooot of towel to soak up.

**Meeko** · 10-26-2012, 12:42 PM

Originally posted by JenNJ

I have to wonder that if we do ask children to help with cleaning themselves/the area after an accident if it would take the stigma off. It makes no sense that the person responsible for the accident would hand off the clean up to another person. That isn't how it works in the adult world and I feel that my job as a parent and caregiver is to have them grow to be responsible, caring adults.

IMO, I think that by having the child clean it up WITH a parent/caregiver, it takes the stigma off and makes it a teachable moment that has nothing to do with the potty. By teaching a child how to gracefully handle an accidental situation, I feel that it makes it very valuable moment. You are teaching patience by your own reaction, personal responsibility by their cleaning up, and team work by working together. By having this sort of policy from day one, it would teach that accidents are normal, to be expected, and not a big deal.

On the other hand, I can see that a child who has never been asked to clean up an accident and then is at 4/5 years old would be shamed by this. But I have to wonder that if we just have an inclusive attitude about accidents from day one if these feelings would ever arise. After all, I don't find it shaming to clean up someone else's accidents, so why should they feel ashamed to clean up their own unless that is the stigma attached.

But, I personally think this age of avoidance and babying is a little extreme. Kids have less responsibility than ever and it isn't to their advantage. This generation of kids is going to have issues in the real world. I'm not a hard a$$, but I do feel that most kids will rise to the expectations set forth. Kids need responsibility to grow strong and I am just not sold on the idea that less responsibility grow people of character.

Sorry -- that was way longer than expected and a little off topic! :

:

Very well put!! I completely agree.

**Country Kids** · 10-26-2012, 02:17 PM

I have two year olds that can completely dress themselves and do a pretty good job of it. I think gets are getting less and less responsiblities handed to them. I actually had a 10 year old that still wore velcro because they couldn't tie their shoes!

**AnythingsPossible** · 10-26-2012, 02:29 PM

Originally posted by SilverSabre25

This is a spin off from this thread in the Parents and Guardians forum. I decided to start a different thread so as to not derail the other one.

I guess I'm about to get flamed here but...

I *do* have kids clean up their messes, and that includes accidents. It's part of potty learning. They don't spray cleaner or anything, but I'll have them changes clothes and bag the wet ones, give them a big wad of paper towels and show them how to wipe up the liquid, put the wad in a plastic bag, then wash their hands really well. I'm super calm and nonchalant about it all. "Oops, you had an accident! You must have forgotten to listen to your body; that's okay, it happens. Let's change clothes...okay, now we need to clean this up..." After they go back to what they were doing, I give the floor a spritz with cleaner and wipe it up again.

I have them wipe up their spilled milk/water, too, and if they drop their lunch on the floor they pick that up too.

It's not punishment...it's responsible. I see it as part of learning to be a good "citizen" and responsible for their own actions. Even when it's an accident.

Am I really that unusual?

I do this with potty issues over the age of 3, and anytime they spill beverage at the table they help clean it up. It's natural consequences and teaches them responsibility.

**Country Kids** · 10-26-2012, 03:35 PM

Is it to late to turn this into a poll? I would like to see it on that perspective.

It seems that people are saying they would have the child clean it up but not sure. Thats why a poll might be nice.

**SunshineMama** · 10-29-2012, 01:12 PM

Originally posted by Country Kids

I have two year olds that can completely dress themselves and do a pretty good job of it. I think gets are getting less and less responsiblities handed to them. I actually had a 10 year old that still wore velcro because they couldn't tie their shoes!

You've got to be joking about the 10 year old!!!

**Country Kids** · 10-29-2012, 01:21 PM

Originally posted by SunshineMama

You've got to be joking about the 10 year old!!!

Sadly I'm not-

**Willow** · 10-29-2012, 01:53 PM

OT but most dyslexic children struggle greatly with tying their shoes.

Many are never able to learn how to. Not due to lack of initiative, but because mentally they cannot process the sequence when combined with the manual dexterity needed to complete the task.

Literally like the adage it's impossible for some to chew gum and walk at the same time.

I have a child who is moderately to severely affected by dyslexia (depending on...) and some people judge her as an idiot and peg me as lazy or neglectful due to some of her more prominent deficits.

Some people think they have a right to scoff and snub because they have a very small piece of the picture.

They don't.

Children Cleaning Up After A Toilet Accident

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment