Children Cleaning Up After A Toilet Accident

[SunshineMama]

OT but most dyslexic children struggle greatly with tying their shoes.


Many are never able to learn how to. Not due to lack of initiative, but because mentally they cannot process the sequence when combined with the manual dexterity needed to complete the task.

Literally like the adage it's impossible for some to chew gum and walk at the same time.



I have a child who is moderately to severely affected by dyslexia (depending on...) and some people judge her as an idiot and peg me as lazy or neglectful due to some of her more prominent deficits.

Some people think they have a right to scoff and snub because they have a very small piece of the picture.


They don't.

Well noted...

I believe Country and I were speaking in the context of a perfectly normal child who does not know how to tie their shoes due to lazy parenting, not a child with a medical condition (neither of which are the child's fault).

I'm not scoffing or snubbing the child- but the laziness of the parent who never bothered to teach a fully capable child.

[countrymom]

Well noted...

I believe Country and I were speaking in the context of a perfectly normal child who does not know how to tie their shoes due to lazy parenting, not a child with a medical condition (neither of which are the child's fault).

I'm not scoffing or snubbing the child- but the laziness of the parent who never bothered to teach a fully capable child.

I agree, I have a boy who is 11 and delayed and he is learning to tie his shoes, which is great for him because he really wants to learn. But In my ds's class many kids don't know how to tie their shoes because it takes time to learn. Its like riding a bike too, I'm finding kids are older before their training wheels are taken off, oh wait, I don't see to many kids riding a bike. My ydd was 4 when she learned to ride a 2 wheeler, at the age of 5 she learned to tie her shoes and my son was 7 at the time (shamelessly I forgot to teach my ds thats why he was 7)

[daycare]

ok you guys can all cyber smack me....

My son who is now 17 could not get himself ready to go, fully dressed when he was 7 years old. WHY? Because at the time, I was a single mother with two kids working multiple jobs. Often flying out the front door every morning trying to get the kids to daycare so that I could get to work on time. I was not one for the battles, so when my kids would refuse to get dressed in the morning, I just did it for them so that we could be on time..... I know horrible, but it was that or be late every day. Trust me when I tell you that I did try everything under the son to help it.

It was not until I started doing daycare that I realized OMG my kids are helpless. I then didn't need to be anywhere on time, except the kids making it on the school bus in the am. I did not have to spend time getting myslef ready, so they were my entire focus. When I came to this realization, I was sooooooo embarrassed.

I think that a lot of it depends on what the parents are or are not doing for their kids at home...... So many parents don't want to battle the kids, so they just do it for them....

[Willow]

Well noted...

I believe Country and I were speaking in the context of a perfectly normal child who does not know how to tie their shoes due to lazy parenting, not a child with a medical condition (neither of which are the child's fault).

I'm not scoffing or snubbing the child- but the laziness of the parent who never bothered to teach a fully capable child.

My daughter is perfectly normal though.

And how could anyone determine that by just looking at a given child anyway?

Anyone that looked at her would not be able to accurately assume she learns differently than other kids. Most of her teachers don't know right off the bat because of everything we've done at home to get her to the fourth grade without so much as a 504 plan.

It's not a medical condition she suffers from (at least according to our insurance company who refused to pay for the bills wracked up get her officially tested and diagnosed as disabled($850 - it's no wonder there are so many children that are dyslexic who never receive the proper diagnosis) or the subsequent tutoring that followed ($45/hour/twice a week) ).


My point is, it's easy to peg a child this, that or the other. But unless you're the parent (and sometimes not even then) there is no way to know for sure whether a delay is due to "laziness" or something else. People wouldn't respond with shock, horror or saddness if they looked at a boy in a wheelchair and discovered he couldn't walk, as if he should be able to naturally. But two year old who otherwise looks healthy and can't walk? He and his parents may face quite a bit of judgment based on outward perceptions of what the mind just jumps to.

I'll admit I am overly sensitive to it because my daughter and our family have been mislabeled in such hurtful ways...just trying to open minds that we may not always know even when we believe the issue and cause is obvious....

[Country Kids]

This child is fine developmentally believe me! It was just because the parents kept buying velcro and would tie the shoes when needed. The parents knew it was helping the child and finally taught them how to do it. I think the child got to big for velcro shoes!

I know Willow in your case you know the reasoning but I felt very judged by posting something that I personally knew the reasoning 100% was the not teaching the child self help skills.

Just because a child can't do something doesn't mean they have a disiability!