Children Cleaning Up After A Toilet Accident

[SilverSabre25]

This is a spin off from this thread in the Parents and Guardians forum. I decided to start a different thread so as to not derail the other one.

I guess I'm about to get flamed here but...

I *do* have kids clean up their messes, and that includes accidents. It's part of potty learning. They don't spray cleaner or anything, but I'll have them changes clothes and bag the wet ones, give them a big wad of paper towels and show them how to wipe up the liquid, put the wad in a plastic bag, then wash their hands really well. I'm super calm and nonchalant about it all. "Oops, you had an accident! You must have forgotten to listen to your body; that's okay, it happens. Let's change clothes...okay, now we need to clean this up..." After they go back to what they were doing, I give the floor a spritz with cleaner and wipe it up again.

I have them wipe up their spilled milk/water, too, and if they drop their lunch on the floor they pick that up too.

It's not punishment...it's responsible. I see it as part of learning to be a good "citizen" and responsible for their own actions. Even when it's an accident.

Am I really that unusual?

[Cat Herder]

IMHO, It simply depends on the childs age and maturity level.

Technically, urine is sterile so the milk presents more of a health danger to them

I feel the stigma attached to it is more about the fact that the majority of child abuse in daycare centers around potty training (then nap) issues.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have the children change their own clothing and put it into a bag, but I clean up any puddles.

Spilled drink puddles, though, they help clean up. I have a bunch of little washcloths on a shelf for them to use during mealtimes and they will go grab one. happyface Responsible preschoolers!

[Unregistered]

Silver...I do exactly the same as you. To me, it is just teaching the child responsibility. I don't have them clean up BM though, except when my DS was PT and refused to poop in the toilet. I finally had him clean himself up once...and I've never had him poop his pants again....but that's my own kid.

[JenNJ]

I do the same as you. It's not a big deal. My dcps actually appreciate it because when an accident happens at home, the kids get out of the wet clothes and begin cleaning up after themselves. No meltdowns, no freak outs -- just calm kids cleaning up after an accident.

The way I see it is that spilled juice and a pee accident are no different. In both cases the child wasn't aware of their body. Whether it is a wild hand motion that spills the drink or waiting a little too long to get to the bathroom, an accident is an accident. It happens. The important thing is that the child has the confidence AFTER the accident to know that accidents happen, it isn't a big deal, but we are responsible for ourselves even if the result was unintentional.

It isn't shaming or humiliating, it is part of being a human. Humans make mistakes. What is important is that we learn from them and try not to make the same ones over and over. I feel that taking part in the clean up instills responsibility in the child and makes them a better person.

[bunnyslippers]

I always have them clean up to their ability level. I agree - it is a responsibility issue!

[Heidi]

me too...that is what I was trying to say yesterday on that thread. That under some circumstances, they help clean up.

No, I don't yell at them and say "now look what you did...you clean this up" and then walk away. But, they are involved in the process depending on their ability level.

[countrymom]

I agree with you all too.

[Michelle]

I do the same as Silver

[Willow]

It's not punishment...it's responsible. I see it as part of learning to be a good "citizen" and responsible for their own actions. Even when it's an accident.

There are much better more age appropriate ways to promote responsibility though imho. A child cleaning up a urine or poop accident isn't the only, or anywhere near the best, way to go about instilling that value.

With my foster care license it was literally against regs to ask a child of ANY age to do it because of the issues it has the potential to cause or how often adults would abuse it. I had a 6 and 8 year old sibling set once, both had issues with having "accidents." Although they would obviously clean themselves up anything else fell to me, and I was not allowed to even furrow my brow about it.

Studies have shown it's THAT big of a detriment. Although it was very often challenging to deal with it went along with the job. Same goes for childcare, again imho.

I don't see how encouraging a child to help clean up their own urine or feces accidents is going to assist them in learning anything really. In fact, I'd be inclined to believe frequent contact with the pee and poo could very well desensitize a child to the ick factor of it all, and actually encourage them to feel comfortable with it touching them. What's the difference between cleaning up urine with your hands and having it down your pants and on your legs? For some toddlers I can't imagine it would be that big of a stretch.


That said I don't believe in potty "training" at all. If kids are actually ready there should be no accidents, so my perspective is a little different .

[SilverSabre25]

Phew! I feel better now I'm glad I'm not the only one!

I agree that it depends a LOT on the maturity level; but that being said I generally feel like if they're not quite ready to help clean...maybe they're not quite mature enough to be potty training, KWIM?

[MyAngels]

This is a spin off from this thread in the Parents and Guardians forum. I decided to start a different thread so as to not derail the other one.

I guess I'm about to get flamed here but...

I *do* have kids clean up their messes, and that includes accidents. It's part of potty learning. They don't spray cleaner or anything, but I'll have them changes clothes and bag the wet ones, give them a big wad of paper towels and show them how to wipe up the liquid, put the wad in a plastic bag, then wash their hands really well. I'm super calm and nonchalant about it all. "Oops, you had an accident! You must have forgotten to listen to your body; that's okay, it happens. Let's change clothes...okay, now we need to clean this up..." After they go back to what they were doing, I give the floor a spritz with cleaner and wipe it up again.

I have them wipe up their spilled milk/water, too, and if they drop their lunch on the floor they pick that up too.

It's not punishment...it's responsible. I see it as part of learning to be a good "citizen" and responsible for their own actions. Even when it's an accident.

Am I really that unusual?

I did all of this with my own children, and with my daycare kids, too, but I don't have my daycare kids clean up any urine puddles (or feces, obviously). As we saw in the other thread, there is a stigma attached to it and in our complaint and sue happy society it just isn't something I'm going to do.

[SilverSabre25]

There are much better more age appropriate ways to promote responsibility though imho. A child cleaning up a urine or poop accident isn't the only, or anywhere near the best, way to go about instilling that value.

With my foster care license it was literally against regs to ask a child of ANY age to do it because of the issues it has the potential to cause or how often adults would abuse it. I had a 6 and 8 year old sibling set once, both had issues with having "accidents." Although they would obviously clean themselves up anything else fell to me, and I was not allowed to even furrow my brow about it.

Studies have shown it's THAT big of a detriment. Although it was very often challenging to deal with it went along with the job. Same goes for childcare, again imho.

I don't see how encouraging a child to help clean up their own urine or feces accidents is going to assist them in learning anything really. In fact, I'd be inclined to believe frequent contact with the pee and poo could very well desensitize a child to the ick factor of it all, and actually encourage them to feel comfortable with it touching them. What's the difference between cleaning up urine with your hands and having it down your pants and on your legs? For some toddlers I can't imagine it would be that big of a stretch.


That said I don't believe in potty "training" at all. If kids are actually ready there should be no accidents, so my perspective is a little different .

That's okay. Our views can be different on this. You do it differently; doesn't make me wrong. It's just different approaches.

Foster care is totally different from child care...I could never do foster care because it's not in my personality to feel comfortable caring for kids coming from traumatic situations to be in foster care in the first place. Does that make me a bad person? NO. I know my limits. I am not terribly interested in ever doing geriatric care either, like at a nursing home or something. And I couldn't ever handle being a nurse either.

[AnneCordelia]

Studies have shown it's THAT big of a detriment. Although it was very often challenging to deal with it went along with the job. Same goes for childcare, again imho.

I don't see how encouraging a child to help clean up their own urine or feces accidents is going to assist them in learning anything really. In fact, I'd be inclined to believe frequent contact with the pee and poo could very well desensitize a child to the ick factor of it all, and actually encourage them to feel comfortable with it touching them. What's the difference between cleaning up urine with your hands and having it down your pants and on your legs? For some toddlers I can't imagine it would be that big of a stretch.

I would be interested to read these studies.

I agree with the other ladies and ask children to help clean to their abilities. If they dribble pee on the toilet seat I also ask them to wipe that up. I ask my 2+yo children to also wipe their own noses before I do a final wipe. My own kids are expected to rinse the sink after they brush their teeth. My 2+yos still in diapers get a clean diaper out of their cubby at change time. These are all the same to me and are learning to have responsibility for your body and the messes it can make. If you are gentle, kind, and have age appropriate expectations then I also believe it makes for a healthy psyche. But I am open minded and would like to read why it could be damaging to clean up after yourself.

[spud912]

I am so glad someone fessed up to it because I do the same thing. It's not a punishment thing and I don't make a big deal about it. I just have them help wipe with a paper towel and then wash their hands really good. Then I go over it again with disinfectant and wash my hands. I don't have them clean up feces though.

I am actually proud of my bunch because now my kids automatically wipe any urine drips off the toilet seat when they're done. Is that so wrong ?