Parents Secretly Recording Daycare: Logged Out

[countrymom]

easy fix, don't allow toys in your house.

[DaisyMamma]

easy fix, don't allow toys in your house.

I don't. It causes too many fights and problems.

[daycaremom76]

I agree throw it in the washing machine! I throw laundry in all day just tell them she spilled some juice on it and wash it!

[MarinaVanessa]

My kids have a bear and a monkey both from build a bear that you record a message on it and then put inside the toy. You do this when you want to gift it to someone special. My mom gave one to each of my kids with a recording of her voice telling them how special they are to her. The little box gets sewn inside the toy and to activate it (get it to talk) you have to squeeze the box.

There isn't a switch or a button per say, just a large panel on the entire side of the box that when pushed in activates the message. Even hugging the toy would get it to talk. Eventually the batteries have worn out and now theres no way of replacing the batteries (short of surgery) or taking the darn toys back to the store and having them serviced ... if they even do that at all. Anyway, the batteries lasted about 3 months before going out and frankly I simply don't have the desire of hearing my mothers voice at all hours of the day so I never had the desire to investigate how to replace the batteries. We also have a small Doug doll (the dog from the movie Up) that used to bark and a small hamster from the movie Bolt that used to say stuff and the batteries have also worn out.

That being said, we now have a few stuffed toys with strange little boxes inside that now do absolutely nothing. The kids have kept the toys of course because theyre special to them but I could see how someone else might think that the boxes are strange. Hallmark also sells items like stuffed toys and books that you can hide a recorded message in for a loved one ... I think you order them. Costco also sells some, or at least did, in a kit where you record your message into the box, send it in and they stuff a doll in the likeness of someone. These are all the same, no way to replace batteries unless you pull the toy apart.

So maybe it is a little odd that there is a strange box inside a toy but think about it this way ... if it's a recording device of some sort there must be a way for someone to upload the info from the box. Without an opening how do they do that? Spy gear is now typically digital and paired with computers so there should be a place for a cable to plug into so that the recordings can be uploaded to some sort of program. I just don't see how having a recording device sewn into a toy would be smart in my opinion if I were trying to record someone because I would have to unsew the toy each time I wanted to get the box out to be able to upload the recordings. Just my two cents.

PS: If it turns out that this is a recording device of some sort for audio you should know that according to federal law, only law enforcement may record audio in a covert manner.

[sharlan]

Have you considered just asking the parents? I would ask before I would destroy someone else's property.

[Michelle]

this whole thing about recording devices creeps me out, I wouldn't be worried about our daycare activities because I know we are awesome but sometimes at nap time, I make phone calls and order stuff using my credit card number or bank info and call Dr. offices regarding private medical matters with my dd.
Sometimes I call my friend and sort of vent about my day.
Recording private phone calls is illegal and definitely an invasion of privacy.

I don't think she is recording you but you don't need this stress being 8 months pregnant. It is not good for you or the babylovethis

[cheerfuldom]

I could never understand why providers feel this way. To me, if I felt that uncomfortable about a family, I would term, whether I needed the money or not.

No matter how much I needed the money, imo, if I am made uncomfortable by a parent/family, it causes stress, tension and all sorts of uneasy feelings. That makes for a very long and stressful day, and possibly even impact how I care for the children throughout the day. I don't want to be made to feel that way in the privacy of my own home. I would much rather term, have less money, but feel comfortable and less stressed while looking for another family to enroll.

while I agree with you, its not always that cut or dry. we have been at points in our life where it is literally pay check to pay check. losing one child would mean either our house foreclosed on or our car repossesed. i hate for anyone to be that close with finances because I know how that feels....to keep kids that arent meshing well because you cannot find a replacement and literally, will be homeless if you cannot bring in income. please dont be too hard on the OP or others that have a hard time with these decisions. Maybe you have never been in that unfortunate scenario but other people are/have.

[Willow]

I'm not sure why everyone assumes recording someone else is illegal?



Laws vary from state to state but in many (most?) it's completely legal. As long as one party is aware of what's going on (in this case that being the parent) then they're definitely within their rights to record and use whatever information they collect.

The only time it's NOT legal is when at least one party isn't aware of what's going on.

So I couldn't send a recording bear deal into the OP's daycare to record what's going on between the provider and the child's family. Nor could the government, or anyone else. There has to be some vested interest in one of the parties themselves for it to be legal.

And you don't have to be law enforcement to have a vested interest. I learned all this when my lawyer advised me to record what was said in the phone calls between my ex and I. Everything he said was admissible in court despite him not having a clue I did it.

[daycare]

while I agree with you, its not always that cut or dry. we have been at points in our life where it is literally pay check to pay check. losing one child would mean either our house foreclosed on or our car repossesed. i hate for anyone to be that close with finances because I know how that feels....to keep kids that arent meshing well because you cannot find a replacement and literally, will be homeless if you cannot bring in income. please dont be too hard on the OP or others that have a hard time with these decisions. Maybe you have never been in that unfortunate scenario but other people are/have.

I agree with you about the need of money...I myself have had to take jobs that I hated so that I could put food on the table for my kids. When I was a single mom, I was the janitor of my kids preschool, so that I could get a discount. Do you really think that I enjoyed cleaning up after 150 preschool kids 5 days a week???? Horrific.

there are times we all need to do things to make ends meet. When I was in college, I had to bartend to pay for my schooling, a very demeaning job where I was sexually harassed each day by fellow employees or customers. But If I didn't have the job, then I would have been living on the streets..... All that I am saying, is that there are times that we need to stick things out. My dad had a saying to me as a child "When things are difficult, strong people take action and do not despair".......

For those that can say term, obviously are not thinking about the providers financial situation here. I am sure that if the provider could afford to term she would.

Just wondering OP have you talked to the family about any of this? Perhaps having a nice talk with them will put an end to all of these uncomfortable feelings you have.

[Country Kids]

I'm not sure why everyone assumes recording someone else is illegal?



Laws vary from state to state but in many (most?) it's completely legal. As long as one party is aware of what's going on (in this case that being the parent) then they're definitely within their rights to record and use whatever information they collect.

The only time it's NOT legal is when at least one party isn't aware of what's going on.

So I couldn't send a recording bear deal into the OP's daycare to record what's going on between the provider and the child's family. Nor could the government, or anyone else. There has to be some vested interest in one of the parties themselves for it to be legal.

And you don't have to be law enforcement to have a vested interest. I learned all this when my lawyer advised me to record what was said in the phone calls between my ex and I. Everything he said was admissible in court despite him not having a clue I did it.

OK Willow, I'm totally confused by part of your post but not sure how to quote it.

You say "The only time its NOT legal is when at least one party is not aware of what's going on"

I totally do not understand that. How would one party not know as one of the parties would be doing the recording? Someone has to be doing the recording so at least one part would be aware.

Also, I have parents that absolutely do not want their childs pictures taken so I can imagine I would somehow be in hot water if another whole parent was recording my childcare.

[Soccermom]

Someone mentionned putting cameras in their own homes in all daycare areas to protect themselves. That is really a good idea. That way if ever a child falsely accuses you of doing something, you have the video to prove otherwise.
Would also be helpful in a situation where DCK sceams his or her head off when they are dropped off and rushes to the door when DCP arrives. You could show some of the video from the week to DCM so she could see that he is really happy and plays well when he is in care....


Something to think about anyway.

[Willow]

OK Willow, I'm totally confused by part of your post but not sure how to quote it.

You say "The only time its NOT legal is when at least one party is not aware of what's going on"

I totally do not understand that. How would one party not know as one of the parties would be doing the recording? Someone has to be doing the recording so at least one part would be aware.

Also, I have parents that absolutely do not want their childs pictures taken so I can imagine I would somehow be in hot water if another whole parent was recording my childcare.

It all boils down to vested interest. A person wanting to capture something that happens between them and another party.

I can record a conversation between you and I.....but not between you and daycare. If Blackcat chimes in in the background it wouldn't somehow all of a sudden make what I was doing illegal. If my intent was purely to spy on conversations between you and daycare, or you and Blackcat....that would be different.


I am not sure how things would play out with the information gathered between the provider and other children.....perhaps information like that wouldn't be admissible? All I know is if that's what these parents are doing it is likely completely legal (again depending on individual state laws, on a federal level there's nothing wrong with it).

I don't see how you would be in any hot water if someone else was recording you, you didn't know about it, and a third party wasn't happy about it once you found out. There's nothing you or they could do about it.

[Willow]

Someone mentionned putting cameras in their own homes in all daycare areas to protect themselves. That is really a good idea. That way if ever a child falsely accuses you of doing something, you have the video to prove otherwise.

This is really no different than what the parents here are being accused of doing.

Unless you (general you) are going to notify all daycare parents, daycare licensors, inspectors, food program reps, family and friends, appliance repair people, your kids friends, their parents, etc. etc. etc. about the cameras and what you're doing with them.


Just like you'd be well within your rights so would these parents, if indeed that's even what they're doing.

Could very well just be that they're overly invested with poor boundaries, I've had looooads of parents like that. I actually prefer those to ones who are grossly under invested.

Although you wouldn't ever catch me singing in front of either party

[Country Kids]

It all boils down to vested interest. A person wanting to capture something that happens between them and another party.

I can record a conversation between you and I.....but not between you and daycare. If Blackcat chimes in in the background it wouldn't somehow all of a sudden make what I was doing illegal. If my intent was purely to spy on conversations between you and daycare, or you and Blackcat....that would be different.


I am not sure how things would play out with the information gathered between the provider and other children.....perhaps information like that wouldn't be admissible? All I know is if that's what these parents are doing it is likely completely legal (again depending on individual state laws, on a federal level there's nothing wrong with it).

I don't see how you would be in any hot water if someone else was recording you and a third party wasn't happy about it. There's nothing you or they could do about it.

They wouldn't be recording just me, they would be recording the childcare.

I guess it would be like a child that has a cell phone that takes pictures. I have parents that absolutely don't want their child photographed. If a child is taking pictures with their cell phone and I don't know it (they can be sneaky) and then somehow those pictures get in a facebook or whatever and the parents find out that it was taken at childcare-that could cost me a client.

Same with a parent recording the childcare without permission (we have to have permission forms for photo/videos). There is no agreement for that so I could again lose a client because of something that was done with out their permission.

[Willow]

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/recording-phone-calls-and-conversations