Parents Secretly Recording Daycare: Logged Out

[Blackcat31]

I would not send my child back to daycare, either. He had a WONDERFUL provider, and he and I both adored her. I wouldn't send him because of ME. I didn't want to miss these years with him. I couldn't live with someone else sharing all of this special time with him while I was at a job that didn't give me a fraction of the satisfaction that he did. I stay home because I think he DESERVES to have a parent home with him, and because I WANT to be home with him. We have some great daycares in my area. I would NEVER leave my kid with someone that I trusted so little that I had to secretly record them. If I felt that ALL providers needed to be spied on, I would think others correct in assuming that I needed psychiatric help.

Yes.... I didn't send my child to an in-home daycare because he was hard to manage.

I didn't want to inflict that on someone else.

I didn't use an in-home child care because I didn't trust them. It had nothing to do with that.

So yes, lots of us would not use child care but not because we don't like or trust them. I bet the majority of providers don't/didn't use one for reasons similar to mine and for the reasons you said (missing that time w/your kid etc...)

[NightOwl]

Maybe Dot could open her very own home daycare so she wouldn't need to record her child! Unless dd got more than 15 feet away. Then, of course, a recording device would be warranted. I'm sure the parents won't mind a bit, knowing that their provider is recording their children for her own personal reasons.... That doesn't sound creepy at all!

I'm sorry, my sarcasm button is pressed every time I open this thread.

[mountainside13]

I missed a lot while I was gone! It was a fun nap time read :-)

[nannyde]

Maybe Dot could open her very own home daycare so she wouldn't need to record her child! Unless dd got more than 15 feet away. Then, of course, a recording device would be warranted. I'm sure the parents won't mind a bit, knowing that their provider is recording their children for her own personal reasons.... That doesn't sound creepy at all!

I'm sorry, my sarcasm button is pressed every time I open this thread.

I think she needs to do the right thing and take her case to a judge. If she can convince a judge to grant her permission to bug her next child care then she is golden. It's easy to get a bunch of mommies on the internet to bless you but they don't have the wisdom and knowledge of the law a judge has. If she truly has a compelling reason she will get permission and won't have to break the law.

[Unregistered]

Where to begin?

Ok, as a mother I get wanting to protect your child at any cost. There is nothing that I would not do to keep my DD safe. That being said, if I had any doubts about the standard of care that my child was receiving at daycare, I promise you that instead of devising a way to secretly record my DD's class, I would pull her out of the setting.

However, as a daycare provider, I wouldn't tolerate Dot's actions if she chose to go through with her plan. Dot, you would immediately be searching for new child care. Providers are responsible for ALL of the children in their care and the other parents trust us to care for and protect their children. Recording other parent's children is a violation regardless of your intent. If you try to do it, Dot, be prepared to get caught. You might get away with it for a little while but you will get caught. Be prepared to defend your actions with the authorities because most likely they will be involved. Be prepared to explain yourself to all of the parents of the children that you secretly recorded. I have to imagine that there will be upset parents. I would be furious if I was a parent of a child that you recorded!

Dot, whether you see it or not, you are crippling your child with your fear. It may not be apparent to you right now but it'll become very clear to you as your child gets older. Fear is easier to instill but much harder to remove.

[NightOwl]

Ok, as a mother I get wanting to protect your child at any cost. There is nothing that I would not do to keep my DD safe. That being said, if I had any doubts about the standard of care that my child was receiving at daycare, I promise you that instead of devising a way to secretly record my DD's class, I would pull her out of the setting.

However, as a daycare provider, I wouldn't tolerate Dot's actions if she chose to go through with her plan. Dot, you would immediately be searching for new child care. Providers are responsible for ALL of the children in their care and the other parents trust us to care for and protect their children. Recording other parent's children is a violation regardless of your intent. If you try to do it, Dot, be prepared to get caught. You might get away with it for a little while but you will get caught. Be prepared to defend your actions with the authorities because most likely they will be involved. Be prepared to explain yourself to all of the parents of the children that you secretly recorded. I have to imagine that there will be upset parents. I would be furious if I was a parent of a child that you recorded!

Dot, whether you see it or not, you are crippling your child with your fear. It may not be apparent to you right now but it'll become very clear to you as your child gets older. Fear is easier to instill but much harder to remove.

^^^ What she said!!

[Unregistered]

Dot, I can't sugar coat this...

Have you sought help? Your fear is far too intense to be chalked up to normal parent concerns. I promise you that I'm not being a jerk right now. I just really feel that there is something going on beneath the surface with you and you either can't or won't acknowledge that you might need help. Please, do some research on Paranoid Personality Disorder. Dot, no disrespect intended. I would just like for you to be willing to acknowledge that you might need help and that getting help (if it's needed) can only make you a better mother.

[nannyde]

Have you sought help? Your fear is far too intense to be chalked up to normal parent concerns. I promise you that I'm not being a jerk right now. I just really feel that there is something going on beneath the surface with you and you either can't or won't acknowledge that you might need help. Please, do some research on Paranoid Personality Disorder. Dot, no disrespect intended. I would just like for you to be willing to acknowledge that you might need help and that getting help (if it's needed) can only make you a better mother.

I don't think Dot has a disorder. I think she wants to spy on her kids care providers without them knowing it. I think she wants that advantage. She's justifying it with her own.special "my child" sauce but really she's not any different than anyone else who wants an unfair advantage for a "good cause".

[Michelle]

Dot:
How would you feel if your provider thought that your daughter was surely being abused by you because of all her crying and they secretly stashed a recording device in her stuff to record your personal life in your home to "catch" you abusing her?

Everything you said or did is being heard
You paying bills over the phone with your credit card
You talking to you best friend about your period
You making very personal Dr appt. and when your little cupcake is sleeping, all the things you watch on TV or say to your husband/Boyfriend all recorded.

Oh, but it's for the better good because someone thinks that Sally might be getting hurt at home.

Is this legal or illegal to you?
right or wrong?
I agree with most, just homeschool

[SillyGrl]

As a parent, if I found out my child was being recorded without my permission by another parent, I'd immediately be retaining an attorney and going as far as I could legally, and then turn around in civil court and sue. Every daycare and school that my children have attended have had to ask permission to take pictures and film video. There is a reason for that. It's to protect children from predators, Dot.

[Unregistered]

This thread has convinced me...

... never to use an in-home provider. Seriously.

So Dot's paranoia justifies this kangaroo court of shame, but OP's paranoia illicit calls for destruction of property? "Dunk it in the toilet, tear it open, put it in the freezer!" Multiple people telling Dot her paranoia is hurting her child, but no thought to the multiple children affected by a providers completely baseless paranoia?

OMG, a child has a toy they like carrying around? They cry when it's taken away? That's really odd behavior! Must be a camera! One the parents have trained them to guard with their life like some child soldier.

The call to "record [her] resignation" into what was actually just a toy is hilarious. Imagine if she had, only for the parents to still bring their child the next day. But sure, it's the parents that are weird.

Also, no apology for assuming a child's disability must be due to "bad parenting." Seriously, no one felt even a little bad for that?

If this is the general quality of in-home providers it probably is best to just go the traditional daycare route.

[NightOwl]

If you're waiting for a response, this thread is super old. FYI.

[Concerned parent]

Quite concerned as a parent...

As a parent of a child under 1 year of age, whom I just pulled from daycare, I am quite concerned to see the kind of discussions on this forum. In fact, in re-affirms that I made the right decision about pulling out my child out of daycare.
Regarding this comment: "whether you see it or not, you are crippling your child with your fear." Infants and toddlers are prime targets for abuse. They are small, vulnerable, they cannot talk, and they are often abused or at least neglected for months before parents realize what is happening. The "fear" as you say, is VERY justified because abuse and neglect happens every day to tens of thousands of children. Most importantly, there is a serious lack of transparency from daycare providers. Children can get injured, babies can get roughed up by older kids, and parents won't be told unless there is bruising. But this is traumatic for young children. Many adult and teen mental issues stem from trauma in infancy. IT IS PARENTS' RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT THEIR CHILDREN. IS THAT CLEAR????
Daycare providers do not have any long-term vested interest in the children. If they act in a way that is traumatizing for a young child, or just don't bother to intervene when a baby or toddler is being roughed up by an older child, or just decide on their own that the baby should be left to cry to sleep, they will not be the ones who will see the child evolve into a teenager who will have tons of issues because they were not treated with love and were not nurtured 5 days per week 8 hours per day at the stupid daycare. Daycare providers only care about what's convenient for THEM, and it is quite clear in this thread. There is no concern at all about the children's well being and long-term impact of the caregivers' actions. NOBODY has the level of vested interest as the parents.
If we are serious about protecting our children, then everything a child can hear should also be heard by parents if they choose to. There should not be any confidential discussion by other parents about divorce, illness or anything like that in front of other children. Those discussions should take place in a private room, and every daycare as a private room. Those conversations are not appropriate for young children and daycare providers should refrain from having them in front of children. And if they - and other parents - are immature enough to have them in front of children anyway, then they deserve to be heard by other parents. And besides, children 2 to 5 can repeat what adults say and they have no concept of confidentiality. So whoever put that confidential discussion excuse on here, you are not very mature nor very smart.
Parents have a right already to be at the daycare while their child is there, so they can already see other children get disciplined, parents can walk in when their child is being disciplined. It should not be kept a secret from parents.
Caregivers who have a problem being recorded when they are caring for children are the ones who are incompetent and have something to hide. They should not be allowed to care for children if they don't want to be recorded when they are in the presence of children.

[Thriftylady]

As a parent of a child under 1 year of age, whom I just pulled from daycare, I am quite concerned to see the kind of discussions on this forum. In fact, in re-affirms that I made the right decision about pulling out my child out of daycare.
Regarding this comment: "whether you see it or not, you are crippling your child with your fear." Infants and toddlers are prime targets for abuse. They are small, vulnerable, they cannot talk, and they are often abused or at least neglected for months before parents realize what is happening. The "fear" as you say, is VERY justified because abuse and neglect happens every day to tens of thousands of children. Most importantly, there is a serious lack of transparency from daycare providers. Children can get injured, babies can get roughed up by older kids, and parents won't be told unless there is bruising. But this is traumatic for young children. Many adult and teen mental issues stem from trauma in infancy. IT IS PARENTS' RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT THEIR CHILDREN. IS THAT CLEAR????
Daycare providers do not have any long-term vested interest in the children. If they act in a way that is traumatizing for a young child, or just don't bother to intervene when a baby or toddler is being roughed up by an older child, or just decide on their own that the baby should be left to cry to sleep, they will not be the ones who will see the child evolve into a teenager who will have tons of issues because they were not treated with love and were not nurtured 5 days per week 8 hours per day at the stupid daycare. Daycare providers only care about what's convenient for THEM, and it is quite clear in this thread. There is no concern at all about the children's well being and long-term impact of the caregivers' actions. NOBODY has the level of vested interest as the parents.
If we are serious about protecting our children, then everything a child can hear should also be heard by parents if they choose to. There should not be any confidential discussion by other parents about divorce, illness or anything like that in front of other children. Those discussions should take place in a private room, and every daycare as a private room. Those conversations are not appropriate for young children and daycare providers should refrain from having them in front of children. And if they - and other parents - are immature enough to have them in front of children anyway, then they deserve to be heard by other parents. And besides, children 2 to 5 can repeat what adults say and they have no concept of confidentiality. So whoever put that confidential discussion excuse on here, you are not very mature nor very smart.
Parents have a right already to be at the daycare while their child is there, so they can already see other children get disciplined, parents can walk in when their child is being disciplined. It should not be kept a secret from parents.
Caregivers who have a problem being recorded when they are caring for children are the ones who are incompetent and have something to hide. They should not be allowed to care for children if they don't want to be recorded when they are in the presence of children.

Wow. All I can say is that if a parent doesn't trust me, their child shouldn't be in my home. All of my parents understand I would never allow a recording device. Those same parents don't want me to allow their children to be recorded by others. I don't hide anything from my parents, it would be impossible to all my kiddos can speak clearly and tell parents exactly what is going on at daycare. I cater to nurses, and they are mandated reporters also, meaning if one child came home and told them I was mistreating another child, they would be required to report what their child said. When you work with children, it isn't easy to "hide" anything. Kids have no filters and will tell all!

I do have a long term interest in my kiddos. For more reason than one. Happy families even when they age out send me more families. Above and beyond that my daycare kiddos are part of my family. I tell them I love them daily! I give hugs and affection when they seek it.

Your broad generalizations are an insult to all of us providers who truly love and care for the children in our care. Parents do not have a right to sit in my daycare and watch other children! They have a right to come in, drop off or pick up their child, quickly discuss any issues and be on their way. They also have no right to take pictures of children and do who knows what with them. For all I know they are posting them in dirty websites! I have to protect the children from that. Farther more, many devices parents would try to send in to record also record voices which is ILLEGAL in many states. I cannot allow illegal activity to happen in my home. To much liability and yes, I worry about liability. This is my life and livelihood and I won't let anyone wreck it.

[MunchkinWrangler]

As a parent of a child under 1 year of age, whom I just pulled from daycare, I am quite concerned to see the kind of discussions on this forum. In fact, in re-affirms that I made the right decision about pulling out my child out of daycare.
Regarding this comment: "whether you see it or not, you are crippling your child with your fear." Infants and toddlers are prime targets for abuse. They are small, vulnerable, they cannot talk, and they are often abused or at least neglected for months before parents realize what is happening. The "fear" as you say, is VERY justified because abuse and neglect happens every day to tens of thousands of children. Most importantly, there is a serious lack of transparency from daycare providers. Children can get injured, babies can get roughed up by older kids, and parents won't be told unless there is bruising. But this is traumatic for young children. Many adult and teen mental issues stem from trauma in infancy. IT IS PARENTS' RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT THEIR CHILDREN. IS THAT CLEAR????
Daycare providers do not have any long-term vested interest in the children. If they act in a way that is traumatizing for a young child, or just don't bother to intervene when a baby or toddler is being roughed up by an older child, or just decide on their own that the baby should be left to cry to sleep, they will not be the ones who will see the child evolve into a teenager who will have tons of issues because they were not treated with love and were not nurtured 5 days per week 8 hours per day at the stupid daycare. Daycare providers only care about what's convenient for THEM, and it is quite clear in this thread. There is no concern at all about the children's well being and long-term impact of the caregivers' actions. NOBODY has the level of vested interest as the parents.
If we are serious about protecting our children, then everything a child can hear should also be heard by parents if they choose to. There should not be any confidential discussion by other parents about divorce, illness or anything like that in front of other children. Those discussions should take place in a private room, and every daycare as a private room. Those conversations are not appropriate for young children and daycare providers should refrain from having them in front of children. And if they - and other parents - are immature enough to have them in front of children anyway, then they deserve to be heard by other parents. And besides, children 2 to 5 can repeat what adults say and they have no concept of confidentiality. So whoever put that confidential discussion excuse on here, you are not very mature nor very smart.
Parents have a right already to be at the daycare while their child is there, so they can already see other children get disciplined, parents can walk in when their child is being disciplined. It should not be kept a secret from parents.
Caregivers who have a problem being recorded when they are caring for children are the ones who are incompetent and have something to hide. They should not be allowed to care for children if they don't want to be recorded when they are in the presence of children.

If you look at statistics, abuse mostly happens at home by the child's OWN parents, not by daycare providers. Get your facts straight. There is a reason daycare providers are mandated reporters, like doctors, teachers, and other professionals that work with children. Yes, it is true that some unfortunate things have happened and there are bad providers out there, but to make a general statement like that is irresponsible and accusatory to a profession that a lot of people have worked and do work so hard at everyday single day with the MAIN GOAL being to provide a safe, fun, clean, and happy place to spend the day away from their parents.

I'm insulted by your statement to say the very least. That is all.