So What Do You Do With A Misbehaving Toddler Under 2 In California?

[thatdivalady]

I'll be honest. I think that sometimes we do not give kids enough credit. My example is a personal one used with my daughter from the time she was 18 months old. When she did something she was not supposed to (and KNEW she wasn't) she would run from whatever it was. She knew good and well that she was wrong. So I would redirect her. If she continued, then I would tell her to have a seat wherever she was without toys. I would simply say "you did X so you have to sit." She sat for maybe a minute and she was very quiet the whole time. Even the times she was not quiet it never lasted longer than 10-15 seconds. Then I would thank her for being quiet and invite her back to toys reminding her not to do X. She got it. She is now 2 so this wasn't that long ago!

I think that people sometimes abuse "time outs" and time outs can be very different for different people. If a child is being destructive, "time away" by theirselves is great and safe.

[kimsdaycare]

Has society lost their minds?

This was a time-out (ok - several), not a beating or duct-taping or any type of cruel or horrific act.

I feel sorry for the educators that will have these families in their day-to-day life later. The only lesson learned from this by anyone is to use sneakier verbage to cover your butt. Providers will avoid the "Time-Out" term in order to protect themselves from the "Violated a Child's Rights" term. The situation won't be any different, just cloaked in creative ways to make it sound different than the reality.

Licensing is very good at this. What looks on paper like a dirty and unsafe home when you read a providers write-ups is often a kleenex that missed the garbage or a bottle of sunscreen sitting next to the provider on the deck table. Nevermind that these two things mean the provider is actively cleaning noses or teaching littles to do for themselves and that sunblock is reapplied often.

Nope this provider now looks like they dont take care of the children or environment properly.

Violating A Child's Rights....you've gotta be kidding me.

Just tell me no more time-outs under two and let me move on. But they couldn't do that could they? Why? Because they aren't sure if that IS actually what the guidelines mean themselves.

Geesh. I am so sorry you are going through this.

[mom2many]

Has society lost their minds?

This was a time-out (ok - several), not a beating or duct-taping or any type of cruel or horrific act.

I feel sorry for the educators that will have these families in their day-to-day life later. The only lesson learned from this by anyone is to use sneakier verbage to cover your butt. Providers will avoid the "Time-Out" term in order to protect themselves from the "Violated a Child's Rights" term. The situation won't be any different, just cloaked in creative ways to make it sound different than the reality.

Licensing is very good at this. What looks on paper like a dirty and unsafe home when you read a providers write-ups is often a kleenex that missed the garbage or a bottle of sunscreen sitting next to the provider on the deck table. Nevermind that these two things mean the provider is actively cleaning noses or teaching littles to do for themselves and that sunblock is reapplied often.

Nope this provider now looks like they dont take care of the children or environment properly.

Violating A Child's Rights....you've gotta be kidding me.

Just tell me no more time-outs under two and let me move on. But they couldn't do that could they? Why? Because they aren't sure if that IS actually what the guidelines mean themselves.

Geesh. I am so sorry you are going through this.

I could not have said it better myself!

[rhymia1]

Has society lost their minds?

This was a time-out (ok - several), not a beating or duct-taping or any type of cruel or horrific act.

I feel sorry for the educators that will have these families in their day-to-day life later. The only lesson learned from this by anyone is to use sneakier verbage to cover your butt. Providers will avoid the "Time-Out" term in order to protect themselves from the "Violated a Child's Rights" term. The situation won't be any different, just cloaked in creative ways to make it sound different than the reality.

Licensing is very good at this. What looks on paper like a dirty and unsafe home when you read a providers write-ups is often a kleenex that missed the garbage or a bottle of sunscreen sitting next to the provider on the deck table. Nevermind that these two things mean the provider is actively cleaning noses or teaching littles to do for themselves and that sunblock is reapplied often.

Nope this provider now looks like they dont take care of the children or environment properly.

Violating A Child's Rights....you've gotta be kidding me.

Just tell me no more time-outs under two and let me move on. But they couldn't do that could they? Why? Because they aren't sure if that IS actually what the guidelines mean themselves.

Geesh. I am so sorry you are going through this.

I agree, but especially with the bolded part. Essentially this is what *is* happening. Having a separate place for a child away from others where he can calm down IS what a time out used to be...
A rose by any other name...

[Kimberli]

Today's update:

Just to add insult to injury, the Licensing Supervisor told someone in R&R to contact the County Office of Education and have them mail me a huge manilla envelope stuffed full of information xeroxed off of eHow.com explaining discipline techniques that are appropriate with preschool aged children, and a handful of glossy brochures explaining how to create a "Caring Place for your Infant and Toddler" so that I could be enlightened. (rolls eyes) And do you think that Resource and Referral will ever suggest MY daycare to anyone again? Uhhhhh ...

The real clincher though was that she had someone go through and hand highlight certain phrases for me (since I am apparently so uneducated as not to be able to gather the main points from this material) such as "Connect through Conversation" and "Discipline in a form of good teaching based not on punishment, but on guidance." ... Wait, I thought that the Supervisor was just the one who berated me in her response letter stating that she was concerned that I don't realize that children of this age aren't teachable because they aren't able to comprehend their own behavior and can't understand me expressing verbal expectations for their actions? WHAT????

And the frosting on the cake for me was that they made sure to include an additional brochure on Stress in Adult Caregivers and how it affects their children ... I guess this was in response to her suggestion that I need to learn how to 'remain calm and professional when dealing with infants' - but of course, it makes absolutely NO difference that NO ONE involved in this case has ever observed me act otherwise and quite frankly, most have never seen me interact with an infant AT ALL. You wanna see stress in an Adult Caregiver ... keep this up.

Just shoot me now.

In closing, I will share with you that one of the discipline techniques included in their bag of tricks? Yep ... you guessed it ... TIME OUT. (Although it did state that it was most effective with 24 mos - 12 year olds).

I'm walking numb today. I feel judged by people who don't even know me. Don't know my daycare kids. Don't know this set of parents.

I'm just sick to my stomach. I wonder if they are done insulting me yet?

[mom2many]

Today's update:

Just to add insult to injury, the Licensing Supervisor told someone in R&R to contact the County Office of Education and have them mail me a huge manilla envelope stuffed full of information xeroxed off of eHow.com explaining discipline techniques that are appropriate with preschool aged children, and a handful of glossy brochures explaining how to create a "Caring Place for your Infant and Toddler" so that I could be enlightened. (rolls eyes) And do you think that Resource and Referral will ever suggest MY daycare to anyone again? Uhhhhh ...

The real clincher though was that she had someone go through and hand highlight certain phrases for me (since I am apparently so uneducated as not to be able to gather the main points from this material) such as "Connect through Conversation" and "Discipline in a form of good teaching based not on punishment, but on guidance." ... Wait, I thought that the Supervisor was just the one who berated me in her response letter stating that she was concerned that I don't realize that children of this age aren't teachable because they aren't able to comprehend their own behavior and can't understand me expressing verbal expectations for their actions? WHAT????

And the frosting on the cake for me was that they made sure to include an additional brochure on Stress in Adult Caregivers and how it affects their children ... I guess this was in response to her suggestion that I need to learn how to 'remain calm and professional when dealing with infants' - but of course, it makes absolutely NO difference that NO ONE involved in this case has ever observed me act otherwise and quite frankly, most have never seen me interact with an infant AT ALL. You wanna see stress in an Adult Caregiver ... keep this up.

Just shoot me now.

In closing, I will share with you that one of the discipline techniques included in their bag of tricks? Yep ... you guessed it ... TIME OUT. (Although it did state that it was most effective with 24 mos - 12 year olds).

I'm walking numb today. I feel judged by people who don't even know me. Don't know my daycare kids. Don't know this set of parents.

I'm just sick to my stomach. I wonder if they are done insulting me yet?

This is beyond horrible...actually words cannot even express what I'm feeling...SOOOO I cannot even imagine what you are feeling!

Don't let this misguided and ignorant individual get you down! You know who you are and the parents with children in your care do too! Like you stated, "NO ONE involved in this case has ever observed me act otherwise and quite frankly, most have never seen me interact with an infant AT ALL. She is basing her opinion on nothing but a disgruntled parent who appears to be a bit out of touch with reality and not the real facts.

Did she even interview any of your other parents?????? Speaking from my own previous experience, I seriously doubt it! There are individuals on serious power trips that aren't interested in truly finding out what the truth is and you need to take a deep breath and let it go. I know it's frustrating, but think about ludicrous it all is! She is even contradicting her own words and has no clue what she is even saying.

Hugs to you!!!!lovethis

[sharlan]

All I can say is WOW. This lady has really gone over the top.

D O C U M E N T, D O C U M E N T, AND D O C U M E N T every single thing that comes from these people.

[Michelle]

I use "redirecting" for severe misbehavior...

I redirect their fannies to the time out spot to think about what they did and then they apologize and get on with their day::