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Using 1-2-3 is really redirection. It says "I an giving you the opportunity to redirect YOURSELF before I have to help you find an alternate activity."
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Thank you, Sugar lovethis It is what they are teaching in Developmental Discipline classes, now. It is something I think most of us do naturally, but simply did not have the words to describe. I rarely have behavioral issues at all, now.
The trick is to understand the difference between the words discipline (to teach) and punishment (obvious?).
Daycare Providers are never to punish. Only Parents are allowed to decide what punishment technique works best for their family, I should have no opinion or say in it.
Once I got that fact, the light bulb went off and the rest fell in place.
OP, Are you required to attend mandatory training to operate in your state? Is it readily available? If not I am not sure how they can legally hold you responsible for that information. Is it in your guidlines, handbooks or regs anywhere???- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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There is also no such thing as "misbehavior" or "bad behavior"....only "mistaken" behavior.Thank you, Sugar lovethis It is what they are teaching in Developmental Discipline classes, now. It is something I think most of us do naturally, but simply did not have the words to describe. I rarely have behavioral issues at all, now.
The trick is to understand the difference between the words discipline (to teach) and punishment (obvious?).
Daycare Providers are never to punish. Only Parents are allowed to decide what punishment technique works best for their family, I should have no opinion or say in it.
Once I got that fact, the light bulb went off and the rest fell in place.
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Great discussion and I value everyone's opinion.
In response to Magnolia's curiosity about what my time out looked like in this case was that I sat this child next to me on the floor directly beside an upholstered green bench I have against the main wall in the center of my playroom (where all the other children were still playing) for about 2 minutes (I have an apple shaped timer I set and use for the older kids) and sat next to him while we (hopefully) short-circuited his behavior jags. When I let him up I gave simple commands like "play nice" or "no climbing" or "be gentle". During the last few days of his care, this was multiple times as he would RUN from one thing to the next that he KNEW he was NOT supposed to do and DO IT INTENTIONALLY to see if he could get a rise out of me. No one will EVER convince me he did not know exactly what he was doing!
Totally toddler? Yes! But when it became excessive and the behaviors were no longer knocking toys on the floor, spitting into the air or taking a toy from a friend but instead became shoving kids his own size and bigger face first into the carpet and pulling over my Little Tikes Kitchen, I knew that he was a danger to both himself and others, I made the decision to term.
My mistake? I let him stay until the end of the day, used the method above and tons of redirection multiple times, and told his Mom he was termed at pick up time rather than phoning her at work (which she probably would not have answered!) and making her leave her job and come get him mid-day.
What have I learned from this experience? You cannot afford to be too 'nice' to your daycare families and a business is a business. I have to take responsibility for not enforcing my own rules to the severe degree that I am being held accountable for my (innocently misgiven) actions. I totally thought I was being thoughtful to this entire family - so the appreciation I get is that she is suing me. Gee thanks so much.
Sorry to say, never again.
And if I were to be honest - of the current 6 children I have in my daycare, I probably should term 2 of them because they have had behavior problems that require consistent redirection and correction - but guess what? I can't do that because I won't be able to pay my rent if I do. ... Reality.
I try to embrace each child I watch as unique. I treat them all the same and I treat them all differently. I want them to leave better than when they came. I want them to learn. I want them to grow. The State wants me to supervise from the corner with a smile on my face no matter what and the parents want me to turn their children into scholars and citizens who can rise to the top of the heap when they start school but not to ever correct their behavior. I can't possibly meet everyone's agenda. I am frustrated. The end.Comment
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::: Here they termed it "unwanted". I guess we all get to choose what those things are... 
I stick with redirecting violent, gross aka "unhygienic" (diaper digging, etc.) or destructive behaviors. Everything else I choose to ignore.
I read this morning that I can ignore passively or actively... I shall investigate this technique further when I stop procrastinating here... muahaha
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.Comment
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holy cow!!! I think our great grandparents would be laughing their heads off at all of this!!! In the old days....kid bites other child= kids got a swat= end of story=kid didn't bite anymore or as much = kids learn to be respectful to others and grew up just fine undamaged
Kids are very smart!
I have seen 20 month old kids tell other 21 month old kids " no you get trouble! no hit me"
kids are very manipulative: I had a 3 year old foster child tell me "if I be a bad girl then I can go back to mommy" ( which explained a lot of her behavior)
I know sad situation, she thought that's why she was taken away.
Then I had a 4 year tell me that if I don't give her cookie she will tell her mom that I am mean and that I won't make any more money...
These were all years ago but kids are a lot smarter than "doctors" give them credit for.Comment
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I define "time out" in the exact way you described above. The only difference is that I don't expect to have any dialogue back and forth with a child this young. I use it only to give a child the chance to calm down if their emotions are out of control or if they have shown aggressive behavior towards another child. I use it as a teaching moment to help the child learn it's not okay to hurt others or be emotionally out of control. I separate them momentarily from playing with the other children and use simple phrases to emphasize that the behavior was not okay, just as the OP described.... "play nice" or "be gentle". It's actually just a time for them to "disengage" from the situation and I don't consider it punishment or use it as such.Comment
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What? We can't bite our day care kids?
Just kidding! Just kidding!!!
I CANNOT afford to lose my sense of humor at this point! LOL!
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I'm not my great grandparents, but I am shaking my head at the newer philosophies. I believed in a (one) quick swat on a bottom end, many consider it abuse and since licensing is of that belief, I don't do it. I really think we are raising a generation of self-centered, entitled brats
Discussion last week after 4 yo cut his shirt with the scissors.
Him - I cut my shirt.
Me - Why?
Him - It was an accident.
Me - Look at me. Why did you cut your shirt?
Him - It was an accident.
Me - No, it was not an accident. You intentionally cut your shirt. We will have to discuss this with Mommy.
Him - Well, if I tell Mommy it was an accident, she won't get mad at me.
Me - That would be lying and we don't tell lies. I want you to tell Mommy the truth.
That night:
Me - He cut his shirt during scissor time today.
Mom - Why did you cut your shirt?
Him - It was an accident.
Me - No, we tell the truth.
Him - Well, Mommy doesn't get mad when I say it was an accident.
End of discussion as he ran off to play. Mommy laughed and shook her head at her little angel. No repercussion, no discipline.Comment
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