Should I Take a Whole Day Off for My Grandmother's Funeral?

[MizzCheryl]

Just heard from my Mum, she said the funeral home called my grandfather and said they won't discuss it now, but he is to go in tomorrow (Tuesday) morning at 11:30am and they will finalize everything then.

So not Tuesday and likely not Wednesday, either.

If it's Thursday that's DCG's last day with me. If I just said 'sorry, taking the day off, going to a funeral", I can see how that would go...

NO PAY! Since she pays me on the last day her daughter is here with me every week.

Really seriously, fingers crossed it's Friday. Mum is insistent that it will be this week.

She won't pay you?????
Oh my! You are being much too nice honey.
I used to be just like this!
Put your foot down,

[brookeroo]

HA! Yeah, there have been MANY things that has happened with this DCM that I have considered terming over but I always just brushed things that she did off as just being a complete airhead (confirmed by my husband and his parents since they knew her since she was a child). But since she told me she was moving away, she's been difficult and snarky and very short with me, trying to take advantage of me and completely losing her mind when I put my foot down when she tries to cross the line. Even sent me a very horrible email claiming I had no sympathy for her as a single mother who is going through a very trying time, both financially, mentally, and physically, and that because she had been with me "since the beginning" (meaning she was the first and only kid in my care between Sept. '11 and Jan. '12) that I should show her some preferential treatment. Uh, yeah. Right. Anyway, totally off the topic at hand but just to show you what sort of woman this is, she's only gotten worse and more hateful since she said she was moving. If DCG was here even 1 week more than she is now, I'd term right now.

As for the other mother, she's nicer about it anyway...passive aggressive is always nicer than straight-up aggression. ;-)

I would send her an email saying she has no sympathy for you as a person who is going through loss. This has been a very trying time financially, mentally and physically ect. and that she has been with you "since the beginning" so she should show you some preferential treatment. :: People are ridiculous. I would just say, "well I'll make this easy on you. I'll just take the week off and then we won't have to worry about which day it will be."

Seriously, what is wrong with people. This is why I stopped working for other people. I got sick of people trying to guilt you into working but it appears that contracts are null and void in this industry as well.... I can't stand how much gull people have. They lay it all on you despite they have their own obligations to uphold and can't fathom how to do that or how someone could expect them to do that day to day.

[jojosmommy]

So, when is the funeral going to be? What did this lady say? Hopefully she realized she was being rude.

[MaritimeMummy]

So, when is the funeral going to be? What did this lady say? Hopefully she realized she was being rude.

Just found out late yesterday that it will be on Friday at 1:30. That is the day I had slated to take off anyway. What does that one mom who is ending this week do? But emailed me quite literally 30 minutes after I found out it is on Friday. At that point I hadnt bothered to tell anyone that it was Friday because no one needed to make sudden alternate arrangments...I had this booked off since January. Anyway, DCM sent an email to me and CC'd her daughter's father, and said, "we require care on Friday, so Thursday will not be DD's last day after all. Please confirm, DD's dad will pick her up."

I'm like...O_O are you effing KIDDING me?! First you got a written notice back in JANUARY of ALL my days off for the entire year, then you get an email at the beginning of the month reminding you that said day is coming up, then you tell me DCG's last day will be Thursday, now you are telling me you are disregarding all of these things?

I was very quick to respond, "I apologize, her last day will remain Thursday as discussed. Friday, which was booked off since January of this year and you have received a written notice regarding it, plus an email this month, ended up being the day of my great-grandmother's funeral...the one you could unfortunately not see fit to find alternate care for. Please respect my need to grieve. Please do not forget that my final pay of ($XX) dollars will be due when you pick DCG up on Thursday at 5:30pm."

SO done with her.

[SilverSabre25]

Just found out late yesterday that it will be on Friday at 1:30. That is the day I had slated to take off anyway. What does that one mom who is ending this week do? But emailed me quite literally 30 minutes after I found out it is on Friday. At that point I hadnt bothered to tell anyone that it was Friday because no one needed to make sudden alternate arrangments...I had this booked off since January. Anyway, DCM sent an email to me and CC'd her daughter's father, and said, "we require care on Friday, so Thursday will not be DD's last day after all. Please confirm, DD's dad will pick her up."

I'm like...O_O are you effing KIDDING me?! First you got a written notice back in JANUARY of ALL my days off for the entire year, then you get an email at the beginning of the month reminding you that said day is coming up, then you tell me DCG's last day will be Thursday, now you are telling me you are disregarding all of these things?

I was very quick to respond, "I apologize, her last day will remain Thursday as discussed. Friday, which was booked off since January of this year and you have received a written notice regarding it, plus an email this month, ended up being the day of my great-grandmother's funeral...the one you could unfortunately not see fit to find alternate care for. Please respect my need to grieve. Please do not forget that my final pay of ($XX) dollars will be due when you pick DCG up on Thursday at 5:30pm."

SO done with her.

Harsh reply but warranted I think, given the particular situation and her prior treatment of you.

I mean, the funeral aside...who does she think she is to just suddenly "require" care on Friday?! A day she SHOULD know you have off, and I bet she DOES know you have off? if you ask me. That's rude and presumptuous

[saved4always]

Just found out late yesterday that it will be on Friday at 1:30. That is the day I had slated to take off anyway. What does that one mom who is ending this week do? But emailed me quite literally 30 minutes after I found out it is on Friday. At that point I hadnt bothered to tell anyone that it was Friday because no one needed to make sudden alternate arrangments...I had this booked off since January. Anyway, DCM sent an email to me and CC'd her daughter's father, and said, "we require care on Friday, so Thursday will not be DD's last day after all. Please confirm, DD's dad will pick her up."

I'm like...O_O are you effing KIDDING me?! First you got a written notice back in JANUARY of ALL my days off for the entire year, then you get an email at the beginning of the month reminding you that said day is coming up, then you tell me DCG's last day will be Thursday, now you are telling me you are disregarding all of these things?

I was very quick to respond, "I apologize, her last day will remain Thursday as discussed. Friday, which was booked off since January of this year and you have received a written notice regarding it, plus an email this month, ended up being the day of my great-grandmother's funeral...the one you could unfortunately not see fit to find alternate care for. Please respect my need to grieve. Please do not forget that my final pay of ($XX) dollars will be due when you pick DCG up on Thursday at 5:30pm."

SO done with her.

Wow...after all that, she thinks she can "require care" on a day you said you were taking off since January!!???? I would have been severely irked, too. I think the harshness was actually warranted after all the grief she has given you this week. What a piece of work she is! Congratulations on being done with her tomorrow!

[SunshineMama]

Absolutely take the whole day off! You lost a member of your family and deerve an entire day to grieve, remember your great grandmother, and be with your family.

I think people forget that we are human and have needs too. Of course you deserve, and should definitely take the entire day.

I am sorry for your loss- what a blessing to have had her in your life for so long!

[MaritimeMummy]

Harsh reply but warranted I think, given the particular situation and her prior treatment of you.

I mean, the funeral aside...who does she think she is to just suddenly "require" care on Friday?! A day she SHOULD know you have off, and I bet she DOES know you have off? if you ask me. That's rude and presumptuous

Oh yes, she's pulled this before. Like I said, I give all my parents a list of the days I am taking off for whatever reason in January or with their paperwork when they start care. She got it in January. The first time she pulled it she said she never saw any paper with that information on it. I informed her I had given her a hard paper copy and also emailed it. She claimed she never got the email. So I said I'd give her another copy and email her again. The second time she pulled it she said she did get both of the second copies but lost them in a move.

Another time she pulled it, she tried switching a day that she normally comes for a day she never comes. She called at the time DCG should have been arriving. When I told her I couldn't, she got upset and asked me what she was supposed to do, she didn't need care today but she did on the day she wanted to swap for. She said, "I thought you said in your contract that you swap days if we're part-time!" To which I responded, "Yes, I DO swap days, with 48 hours' notice, unless it's a family emergency, and ONLY if I have availability. As part-time, I can't guarantee availability."

She tried to weasel out of paying me for the days she had booked. She comes 2 days a week. She thought that since i couldn't swap her day that she was no longer obligated to pay for the day she didn't need. NO. WAY. J

Another issue, i emailed her twice and told her in person once that her daughter needed clean underwear for her box because she has small accidents, just enough to wet the undies. Yep, no problem. I sort of forgot about it, her grandmother dropped her off yesterday with no spare underwear. Of course her GM couldn't do anything about it so if they didn't want to care, neither did I. DCG ended up having another accident yesterday about an hour after she got here, so she had to go without underwear in clean shorts. When her mom picked her up and she questioned why she was in different shorts than she was in in the morning. When I told her she had another accident and no spare panties, she actually ARGUED with me about whether she brought spares or not. After talking about it for 2 minutes I had to go over to her box and rummage through it in front of her to show her that I was not lying. "Oh, well then I must have left them in the car". Good lord...

[brookeroo]

:: When she picks her up on the last day make sure you let her know not to let the door hit her in the arse on the way out.