Should I Take a Whole Day Off for My Grandmother's Funeral?

[DCMom]

I am so sorry about your grandma

What is wrong with these people? For heaven's sake, your grandma died, of course you should take the whole day. Otherwise you will spend the whole time looking at the clock and being on edge instead of spending time with your family.

Daycare kids/parents come and go ~ family is forever.

[DCBlessings27]

I too think you should take the whole day off, regardless of what the daycare parents are asking. It's a family member, and you might be more emotional than you think. Also, I too think you'd be spending the whole time watching the time instead of concentrating on what you're there for.

When I was in college, my great-grandma died right before finals week. When I found out when the funeral was, I immediately emailed my professor. I got back a blank response. And I emailed the grad assistant and didn't receive a response. So, I had to leave the funeral to drive 2 hours back to my college town and go take my final. I should be over it, but it still upsets me that I had to watch the time and leave when I should have been able to be with my family.

[Truly Scrumptious]

Wow! Talk about rude and inconsiderate. If I were in your place, I would apologize for the inconvenience but plan to close the day of the funeral. I would let the day care parents know that I would update them on the day as soon as I had that information. (Even if I had planned to re-open after the funeral was over, I would change my mind after receiving a call like that!)

I agree...Wow! I mean it's your great-grandmother for pete's sake. Yes, you take the whole day....let them figure it out. Why should you have to do it?

[Springdaze]

yes (thats all that needed to be said, but it wouldnt let me post so few letters!)

[MaritimeMummy]

I appreciate everyone's feedback. I know a topic like this really ruffles provider's feathers. I have been venting to a friend of mine who lives about 20 minutes away from me (we're pretty rural) who also does in home care, and she said she'd take the second DCC if the funeral is this Wednesday or Thursday. I have Friday booked off completely as a personal day for doctor's appointments so if it's Friday it won't be an issue. At this point I doubt it will be tomorrow, there is no way a funeral home will throw together a funeral in 24 hours. So I totally appreciate that she offered that.

I just saw that the funeral home updated that they are taking over her funeral arrangements, so that must mean that she is in their care, but the only thing that is written in the write-up is her birth and death date, where she lived, and that "a private family graveside service will be held at a later date. So, do you think I can put all this stress out of my head and assume it won't be this week at all?

I really really appreciate all you guys' sympathies. They mean so much. lovethis

[kathiemarie]

Could you ask your mom or Grandfather to have the service on Friday or Saturday? Or how about asking your mother in law if she could watch the DCK (NOT the one moving) while she watches your kids? Even if they couldn't have the service on Friday or Sat. or your MIL couldn't watch the one DCK at least you can tell your DC parents you tried to make other arangements. I would take the whole day no matter when the service is.

[MaritimeMummy]

Could you ask your mom or Grandfather to have the service on Friday or Saturday?

I have mentioned this to my mother, she just got really agitated and said, "It will be when it will be". So, I don't know. Funerals are not held on Saturdays here...I think the funeral home is the one who dictates when it will be, based on the availability of the officiant and if burial arrangements are fully made. Of course, I have no real idea.

Or how about asking your mother in law if she could watch the DCK (NOT the one moving) while she watches your kids?.

I already mentioned my problem with my MIL. She will not look after any other children but my own, her grandchildren.

At this point everything is out of my hands. Which I hate. Not having control over something really blows.

[Country Kids]

I'm so sorry this has happened for you. Things must work very differently there then here in the U.S.. My mother passed on a Friday, we met the very next morning with the director and figured everything out. We picked the time/day for the sevices and went from there.

I do know that I did have an issue with the food lady on Monday as I was closed for the week (not to the delight of some parents but...). She came for an inspection and of course I had no children present. The big question was why hadn't I called to tell her? UUMMM it wasn't the first thing I thought about doing after losing my mother.

[MizzCheryl]

I have mentioned this to my mother, she just got really agitated and said, "It will be when it will be". So, I don't know. Funerals are not held on Saturdays here...I think the funeral home is the one who dictates when it will be, based on the availability of the officiant and if burial arrangements are fully made. Of course, I have no real idea.



I already mentioned my problem with my MIL. She will not look after any other children but my own, her grandchildren.

At this point everything is out of my hands. Which I hate. Not having control over something really blows.

WOW, this sounds stressful. I would post this for my DCPs.
"My Great Grandmother has passed and I will be closed the day of the funeral. As soon as I am aware of the date I will tell you. Thank you for your understanding!"

I would not discuss it any further.

Be selfish.
I was a people pleaser for way too many years and still slip up somethimes.
Please yourself this time. Your family may want to get togerther after the funeral and you may regret having to get back to work.
Just go with it and take care of yourself.

[itlw8]

most families get together afterwards and even the evening before.

I would flat out say to all. MY grandmother died. I WILL be closing for the day As soo as I know what day I will let everyone know.

I may be closing early the day before also.



The parents need to understand and have back up care.


She will say again you need to be open in the afternoon... so practice ....... I am sorry that won't work for me......

[youretooloud]

Since the service will be in the first part of the day, I would take the whole day off. There's no reason you can't spend time with your family for one parent who COULD make other arrangements.

Seriously... how dumb that she acts like there is NO OTHER WAY for her to deal with this problem. In less than 10 seconds I can think of several solutions for her.

Let her figure it out, she will come up with something. I have faith in her.

[kathiemarie]

I already mentioned my problem with my MIL. She will not look after any other children but my own, her grandchildren.

wow thats to bad. I would hope that she would do it just once so you can go and not worry. I'm sorry this is so stressful for you.

[JenNJ]

WOW, this sounds stressful. I would post this for my DCPs.
"My Great Grandmother has passed and I will be closed the day of the funeral. As soon as I am aware of the date I will tell you. Thank you for your understanding!"

I would not discuss it any further.

Be selfish.
I was a people pleaser for way too many years and still slip up somethimes.
Please yourself this time. Your family may want to get togerther after the funeral and you may regret having to get back to work.
Just go with it and take care of yourself.

This. I once arranged for my MIL to run the daycare while I was at the funeral and it stressed me out. I still had to leave early and I was just not present with the dc kids. It was awful.

Now, when someone dies, I take the whole day off. If they leave because of that, then oh well. The only thing that life promises is death. Anyone who doesn't understand a death is just an idiot or selfish. I don't work with either.

[MaritimeMummy]

Just heard from my Mum, she said the funeral home called my grandfather and said they won't discuss it now, but he is to go in tomorrow (Tuesday) morning at 11:30am and they will finalize everything then.

So not Tuesday and likely not Wednesday, either.

If it's Thursday that's DCG's last day with me. If I just said 'sorry, taking the day off, going to a funeral", I can see how that would go...

NO PAY! Since she pays me on the last day her daughter is here with me every week.

Really seriously, fingers crossed it's Friday. Mum is insistent that it will be this week.

[Live and Learn]

I am so sorry about your grandma

What is wrong with these people? For heaven's sake, your grandma died, of course you should take the whole day. Otherwise you will spend the whole time looking at the clock and being on edge instead of spending time with your family.

Daycare kids/parents come and go ~ family is forever.

Take the entire day off.