At a Loss

[jojosmommy]

In what capacity does this DCF work for the county? I would have issue with the fact that by law, he really shouldn't be discussing someone's case with ANYONE (even mom) since there are confidentiality rules about that stuff.

The DCD shouldn't have even let on that he knows anything at all. Obviously HE isn't a very trustworthy person....kwim?

I would be upset too as I just can't work with someone who doesnt trust me. Also unless the family is absolutely perfect, it is kinda rude of them to be so judgemental about this. EVERYONE makes mistakes and unless you DS is in deep deep trouble, this whole situation is being blown out of proportion by the DCF impo.

This was my FIRST thought. Unless the info was public record (like printed in the paper) this family shouldn't be using their connections to gain access to your grown childs information. In fact your own child could be upset that his confidentiality was broken. Maybe he didnt even want you to know, and technically thats HIS right. Just because they are privy to special knowledge doesn't mean they get to use it how ever they see fit.

I would tell them that you went far and away above your requirements to keep your own child away during daycare even though you had already contacted licensing and that was not necessary. I would also remind them that there are laws protecting peoples personal information and they likely abused that by checking into the info themselves. Then I would make it very clear that you believe they no longer trust you despite the 6 years relationship you have.

Then I would remind them of the contract they signed and make every effort to get the $. They should have pulled day 1 if it was a safety issue. They looked for care all week and once they had a plan they pulled.

And BTW, I am as straight laced as they come however I know that no matter how wonderful your parenting your own grown kids make their own decisions and will somehow someway sometime mess something up. That has no bearing on how great/terrible you are as a parent. I think its ridiculous that some people would even bring that up in the previous posts. Keep your head up.

[AmyLeigh]

This was my FIRST thought. Unless the info was public record (like printed in the paper) this family shouldn't be using their connections to gain access to your grown childs information. In fact your own child could be upset that his confidentiality was broken. Maybe he didnt even want you to know, and technically thats HIS right. Just because they are privy to special knowledge doesn't mean they get to use it how ever they see fit.

In my county, bookings are posted on the county website within 24 hours. I know where it is because I used to work for the county. Howerever, it is not password protected, it is public information and any Joe Schmo could look it up. In addition, all bookings are printed in the newspaper within a week. When my neighbor's relative (who was living with them) got arrested, I knew exactly what for by the next morning. I'm glad for that fact, because he was picked up for breaking probation by carrying a firearm and a smoking device. My children used to play over there!!! Not anymore.
In anycase, I feel OP did what she needed to do and I hope she gets paid for the 2 weeks. With her son not in the home during business hours, she was putting the safety of the children paramount. However, as a parent, I would be concerned if the individual had drugs or drug paraphenalia in the home that my children could come in contact with. Not saying that would happen in this case, but you could see how the parents would be worried. It would have been preferable for them to come to OP and discuss their issues in order to come to an amicable agreement. No matter how long they have had a business relationship with OP, the parents have to do what they feel is in the best interests of their child. Aren't there a whole bunch of posts here complaining about parents who don't do this??

[Unregistered]

Um, yeah COMPLETELY unethical in my opinion! NOT cool that he knows and NOT cool that he is talking about it!

Totally agree.

In my area the presumption is "innocent until proven guilty". There is no lynch mob media publishing of names only general information on a few of the most interesting arrests. I live in a capital city too and am surprised at the publishing of peoples names.

Beyond that, I hope you get the 2 weeks pay OP. Additionally, to echo a few other posters, I'm not so naive to think *my* precious little pumpkins could never make a stupid choice and end up in trouble. Best of luck.

[Unregistered]

DHS plays by its own rules

If it was an issue of him not trusting you he never would have left his child there after seeing the car.

I too would take the high road and reassure them you're taking the situation seriously and he won't be around during daycare hours until further notice.


Giving them the boot may come across as overly defensive. If I were you I'd do my best to make the entire thing a non-issue.

As far as DCD knowing, I'd rather he knew and felt comfortable enough to discuss it rather than just turn tail and pull his kiddo. Obviously this family is giving you the benefit of the doubt that you're handling it to their satisfaction or he wouldnt still be in your care. Can't blame them for being suspicious about seeing the car, anyone would naturally assume the exact same thing.

In MN any person doesn't need to be convicted of a crime the Department of Human Services can shut you down/demand removal of a person who has a 51% chance of comitting the crime. Say he plea bargained guilty and was put on 6 month probation that if he keeps his nose clean they would wipe his record (they can still shut you down)! Say he isn't convicted at all and the charges are dissmissed because it was his first offense. if there is a preponderonse of the evidence (meaning 51% chance) that he might have committed the crime, regardless of any court outcome they can still require his removal or close you down. DHS plays by there own rules so I would be cautious. Also, if this is an officer parent who has a lot of government hook-ups I would do what I could to stay on his good side.

[GotKids]

In MN any person doesn't need to be convicted of a crime the Department of Human Services can shut you down/demand removal of a person who has a 51% chance of comitting the crime. Say he plea bargained guilty and was put on 6 month probation that if he keeps his nose clean they would wipe his record (they can still shut you down)! Say he isn't convicted at all and the charges are dissmissed because it was his first offense. if there is a preponderonse of the evidence (meaning 51% chance) that he might have committed the crime, regardless of any court outcome they can still require his removal or close you down. DHS plays by there own rules so I would be cautious. Also, if this is an officer parent who has a lot of government hook-ups I would do what I could to stay on his good side.

Here they are so strict about who is in your home (NE) that you have to fill out a new application anytime someone moves in or OUT of your home. The application is ridiculously long and must be completed perfectly to be accepted. You also have to report ALL law enforcement contact. Even if you were not the issue, even if there were no formal charges or arrests. For instance my 13 year old son was beat up last year on the way home from school. The local gas station where it occurred called the PD they came and made a report. I was required to let DHHS know about that even though my son did not do anything wrong. They still came out to talk to me and my son as well as required a copy of the police report.

[Meeko]

Yes! I sent a very polite message this morning asking if they would be stopping by with the written notice and payment and they sent me an email stating because they discontinued services for safety reasons they had talked to several people and upon their recommendation they didn't have to abide by the contract and would not be paying.

"Several people" need to mind their own business!

Send them a copy of their signed contract and demand payment in full.

My contract actually states that until I receive written notice, the contract is still in full effect and late fees will be added until paid.

Take them to collections or small claims if not paid. They are trying to intimidate you with the "safety concerns". Your licensing dept. has already said you are not in violation of anything.
Another poster already pointed out that they cannot use the "safety" thing against you as they continued to bring their child for the rest of the time.

What kind of parent would knowingly leave their child in a dangerous place??? They are full of it!

Don't give in!

[jen]

In MN any person doesn't need to be convicted of a crime the Department of Human Services can shut you down/demand removal of a person who has a 51% chance of comitting the crime. Say he plea bargained guilty and was put on 6 month probation that if he keeps his nose clean they would wipe his record (they can still shut you down)! Say he isn't convicted at all and the charges are dissmissed because it was his first offense. if there is a preponderonse of the evidence (meaning 51% chance) that he might have committed the crime, regardless of any court outcome they can still require his removal or close you down. DHS plays by there own rules so I would be cautious. Also, if this is an officer parent who has a lot of government hook-ups I would do what I could to stay on his good side.

I was a licensed provider in MN for ten years and I have NO idea what you are talking about. In MN you need to have anyone in the house, over the age of 13 get a background check....thats it.

Can you tell me where in the regs this 51% rule is found?

[jen]

"Several people" need to mind their own business!

Send them a copy of their signed contract and demand payment in full.

My contract actually states that until I receive written notice, the contract is still in full effect and late fees will be added until paid.

Take them to collections or small claims if not paid. They are trying to intimidate you with the "safety concerns". Your licensing dept. has already said you are not in violation of anything.
Another poster already pointed out that they cannot use the "safety" thing against you as they continued to bring their child for the rest of the time.

What kind of parent would knowingly leave their child in a dangerous place??? They are full of it!

Don't give in!

I agree...get your money. The "people" they are talking to are most likely friends or family that have no idea what is REALLY going on or how licensing works.