At a Loss

[Blackcat31]

I also would probably have a talk with them. I would explain that you received the text by mistake, you can see they don't trust you, and after 6 years of care you feel like you can't continue.

I have had a similar issue once where after 5-6 years a dcd came to pick up his child. I told him that the child was complaining of his head hurting (meaning a headache.) He looked at his child and said "Did someone hurt you?! It was the same thing! I thought to myself "Are you kidding me? If after 6 years of care you think someone here would hurt your child then I can't go on." I ended up having a "meeting" with dcd where he told me how much he loved and appreciated me. I did continue to watch for them but I felt better getting the trust thing out on the table.

Good luck!

Welcome to the forum!

Your status has been upgraded so you can post freely now

[Willow]

Hmmm, must be nice to be a perfect parent with perfect kids. Can I venture a guess? Your kids aren't anywhere near the teenage years with a drivers license, right? Kids do stupid things, make stupid choices. That doesn't make them bad kids.

The op never said anything about a 'drug arrest', she said her son had to go to court. Having a small amount of weed or a pack of papers during a traffic stop will land you in court in Minnesota.

Go back and reread, the very first post explains that the arrest was in regards to a drug offense.


My kids aren't perfect, nor would I ever expect them to be, but your implication that drug arrests are par for the course when it comes to raising children is incredibly disturbing.

I disagree that that should be a normal expectation for any child.

[JenNJ]

Hmmm, must be nice to be a perfect parent with perfect kids. Can I venture a guess? Your kids aren't anywhere near the teenage years with a drivers license, right? Kids do stupid things, make stupid choices. That doesn't make them bad kids.

The op never said anything about a 'drug arrest', she said her son had to go to court. Having a small amount of weed or a pack of papers during a traffic stop will land you in court in Minnesota.

I know, right? Must be nice to be a saint.

[Country Kids]

I'm going way out on a limb here but no where does the op say anything about her child being arrested! She says he got into some trouble and had to go to court! Doesn't mean he was arrested. He may have been but isn't it funny how many people here are arguing it and she hasn't said it. He wasn't even convicted of anything! Amazing how people don't really read the posts.

She doesn't even say anything about the drugs being his. For all we know he was in a car where someone was arrested for having drugs on them and maybe he had to go to court as a witness. He may have been got in the cross fires of just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The op sounds like she was looking at what others might do in the situation. Not how perfect anyones kids are, what they would do if it where their kids, what shows up in papers, if it was legal what the dad did, etc.

I'm urging everyone to please read the posts and maybe the entire thread before posting. You never ever know when something might happen in your childcare and your needing advice from others.

[Willow]

Just for the record, it was not dcd expressing concern I was upset with, it was that after I was completely honest and open with them he asked me a question which I truthfully answered and he responded that he thought I was lying.

No, he voiced doubt to his wife. That's a far cry from calling you a liar.

I'm not a all saying your son is a bad egg, but it does put your parents between a rock and a hard place. I personally think you are probably a bit sensitive because truth is this had to have hurt you what your boy did. I know I'd be crushed. And navigating other peoples responses I'd probably be inclined to be very defensive. The hurt combined with the instinct to always stand up for and protect our own? I get why your first inclination would be to terminate.

I'd only challenge you to think about it from their perspective first. He DOES trust your or he would NOT have left kiddo there today. What would be the harm in silt asking him "hey, you accidentally sent that text to me and it HURT...why???" before you make your final decision.

Consider how you'd feel if you were in their shoes, how you would respond, how the dcb will feel.....

Six years is a long time, terming them on a whim before getting an explanation would be just as offensive as if he really DIDN'T trust you after all this time.

[crazydaycarelady]

Welcome to the forum!

Thank you!

[Meeko]

I think the OP needs to sit down and hash it out with the parents.

I too would have read "she says he's at a friends house, but I have my doubts" as "she said he's at a friends house, but I think she's lying".

If he believed the provider, he wouldn't have texted his wife (or so he thought) with his concerns. He thought his provider was lying.....and after 6 years of care, that must be very upsetting.

Tell the parents that for care to continue, there must be trust and there must be honesty. She was as open as she could be about her son's situation.

I personally think the parents are acting as if the son has just gotten out of prison on a child molestation conviction or something.

A good, honest talk with it all laid out may help. If not...term.

[lucky]

So update, they sent the child All week then Friday called to say they were giving notice, which at this point I'm totally fine with. I did let them know I needed it in writing and 2 weeks pay as per contract. Neither of which I have received.

I called my licensor this morning to make sure I was following all licensing guidelines and she assured me I was fine.

So now I'm wondering about getting payment . Would you pursue it or just let it go?

[Blackcat31]

So update, they sent the child All week then Friday called to say they were giving notice, which at this point I'm totally fine with. I did let them know I needed it in writing and 2 weeks pay as per contract. Neither of which I have received.

I called my licensor this morning to make sure I was following all licensing guidelines and she assured me I was fine.

So now I'm wondering about getting payment . Would you pursue it or just let it go?

You have every right to expect payment IN FULL!

They have already ruined their chances of using the safety of their child as a concern for pulling out since they continued to bring him so if it was a true concern for safety, they would never have left him in the first place.

I would absolutely try every method possible to collect what is owed to you!

Have they responded at all or said anything to lead you to believe they aren't going to pay you?

[lucky]

Yes! I sent a very polite message this morning asking if they would be stopping by with the written notice and payment and they sent me an email stating because they discontinued services for safety reasons they had talked to several people and upon their recommendation they didn't have to abide by the contract and would not be paying.

[Heidi]

Yes! I sent a very polite message this morning asking if they would be stopping by with the written notice and payment and they sent me an email stating because they discontinued services for safety reasons they had talked to several people and upon their recommendation they didn't have to abide by the contract and would not be paying.

Yeah, well, I think they're wrong! If I were you, I'd still insist on collecting! If there were a 'safety issue", they would have pulled him immediately, not 4 or 5 days later.

I know you had this family for 6 years, but I hope as you are enrolling new families, you get a deposit and payment in advance so that your 2 weeks is always covered...

Sorry they ended up being jerks about it. It happens! I wish your family the best, and hope your son is on the right road now that he's had this experience...

[JenNJ]

I am so glad you covered your bases with your licensor. My advice:

1. Email your licensor just confirming that you followed all state guidelines with the situation. Have her email back a positive response. Print these out and file them away.

2. Copy the signed contract and place with the emails I mentioned before.

3. Now, go file with the court. AND get YOUR money!!

[Former Teacher]

Yeah, well, I think they're wrong! If I were you, I'd still insist on collecting! If there were a 'safety issue", they would have pulled him immediately, not 4 or 5 days later.

I totally agree.

At my former center years ago we had a little girl who broke her leg going down a slide (I know different situation). The insurance people told us that the parents had up to 2 YEARS to sue us.

We talked to an attorney and even that attorney said even if the parents decided to sue, they wouldn't win. Once released from the doctor's care this child was at the center from 6:45-6:30 each day while the parents were basking in the sun

[MyAngels]

I am so glad you covered your bases with your licensor. My advice:

1. Email your licensor just confirming that you followed all state guidelines with the situation. Have her email back a positive response. Print these out and file them away.

2. Copy the signed contract and place with the emails I mentioned before.

3. Now, go file with the court. AND get YOUR money!!

I would write them a certified letter outlining what they owe, and the last date they have to pay it. I'd let them know you have full intentions of pursuing all avenues of collection. If they don't pay I'd file a small claims suit the next day, and go after them hard. There are a lot of ways to enforce a judgment and make their lives difficult.

Have I mentioned that I don't take it lightly when someone questions my integrity?

Good luck!

[nanglgrl]

a way out

When I read this earlier (before the family left daycare) I was going to mention that it seemed to me that the family was trying to find a way out of the daycare so they were making a fuss about a minor thing. Who knows why after you have had their children for 6 years but oh well! I was wondering, did they only have 1 child and if you have had the family for 6 years was the child 6 years old? It seems to me Dad and Mom could have easily asked the 6 year old if he was there. Did you ever confront the parents about the text? If I were you I would definitely go after what they owe. Make sure you don't delete the text Dad sent you either, it could be helpful in court.