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I have a situation I need some advice on. My 20 year old son, who works away in another state but stays with us every few months for 1-3 days on his break, got in trouble about 2 months ago and has to go to court Thursday so he's home this week. However, one of my dcp works for the county and knew what happened and came to me. My son was back in the other state working at the time. So, knowing this family who I have cared for 6years I made arrangements for him to stay with a family friend during daycare hours. I did make a point to let them know that he was home for a period but wouldn't be involved with daycare at all. This morning the dcd dropped off the child and I got a text 30 minutes later. My son's car was here as he went to work a job with a friend of ours who does odd jobs and I explained this. 5 minutes later I get another text dcd obviously meant for dcm that said "she texted me and said he's working with a friend but I have my doubts." My first reaction is to give them their notice because if they don't trust me to keep there child safe and to do what's right after 6 years maybe this isn't working. I should explain that it was a drug charge and nothing violent. He also hasn't been convicted of any crime.
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in my state you have to report ANY law enforcement contact for any household members to the state right away. Depending on the type of contact the state my require that person not be in the home during business hours or in some cases give me the option of having the person relocate or handing over license. If haven't already check with your state and find out what your requirements are. As well as the possible outcomes should he be charged.
I see the biggest issue with your situation is the broken trust with your client. I would confront the situation calmly and if it were me, probably give notice. That is just me though trust is such an important part of Family childcare in my opinion. I would have the conversation in person and not over text. I think I would have a hard time continuing care with someone who didn't trust my word after all I am in charge in keeping her child safe for the majority the day, she should be able to trust me. However, talk to her, explain your responsibilities and let her know what your plan is. If she is still not comfortable or you can't come to a good feeling then I would let her go. -
I should have mentioned I did contact my licensor after the incident and unless he has a conviction there isn't anything else I need to do. He already has a clear background check on file from earlier this year.
It's the trust issue I am having an issue with. I went out of my way to be open and honest with them and for them to insinuate I am lying to them is hurtful.Comment
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You are being as straightforward as possible with licensing AND your client. If they choose not to trust your judgement (which it seems like they have) than you have make a choice of your own. We all make mistakes, especially when young and stupid. It would be different if he lived with you on a regular basis, but he visits. Personally, I would be handing them a two week notice tonight and siting the 'mistaken' text message as the reason.
I won't have someone who disrespects me or my family in my house. JMHO.Comment
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From the parents point of view, seeing the car there and knowing he is in and out of your house and that he is your son, I can see how they might be concerned at the conflict of interest. I dont see this at all being a term worthy offense. He said he has his doubts....why is that weird?
I would let him know that you did get that text and wanted to assure them, once again, that all was being handled professionally and within state regulations. If they have any doubts, they are welcome to discuss and you will do what you can to assure them that your daycare will be run in a first class manner, as it has been run for many years. Sometimes people do need a little extra reassurance, that seems normal.Comment
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If your son hasn't been convicted of anything that would pose a threat to the daycare children and he has a clear background check then I don't see why he needs to stay away from the home while children are present?
I think maybe having him stay away for whatever reason has given this family reason to believe that he isn't safe to have around the children.
I agree. If they do not trust you then you are no longer a good fit for each other.Comment
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I would term because of that text. It speaks volumes about their trust in you and I couldn't work with someone knowing that after 6 years they don't believe my word. Especially since you went out of your way to have him stay somewhere else and kept everyone informed.Comment
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well I did want to add that I understand how the text would be offensive to you. I just personally did not feel that one text was term worthy. I know that everyone thinks the parents should feel differently because they have been with the provider for 6 years but also, from the OP's end, shouldnt a little extra discussion be totally within reason in order to salvage such a long standing relationship? This provider has cared for their child(ren) for YEARS.....isnt that worth a few moments of extra attention to this family as that might be all it takes to get things on track?Comment
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In what capacity does this DCF work for the county? I would have issue with the fact that by law, he really shouldn't be discussing someone's case with ANYONE (even mom) since there are confidentiality rules about that stuff.
The DCD shouldn't have even let on that he knows anything at all. Obviously HE isn't a very trustworthy person....kwim?
I would be upset too as I just can't work with someone who doesnt trust me. Also unless the family is absolutely perfect, it is kinda rude of them to be so judgemental about this. EVERYONE makes mistakes and unless you DS is in deep deep trouble, this whole situation is being blown out of proportion by the DCF impo.Comment
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thats a really good point! was the dad checking up on the family every now and then? (which I guess isnt a bad thing......) did he know the son and notice his name on something? was he within privacy rules to even be talking about it? Some places have arrests and the like as public record so really anyone can find it if they are looking. But if his job demands strict privacy then it wasnt appropriate for him to bring up the topic to the OP. unless she brought it up first?Comment
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The Dad is a 911 dispatcher with lots of officer friends. I guess I figured that's where he heard it from. Probably not legal now that you mention it.Comment
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