Do You Think I Did Something Wrong...My Husband Thinks So

[countrymom]

well, I have to agree with your dh.

Unless your going to buy their food for their child to put in a lunch then you shouldn't complain. What you consider junk, they may not consider junk. If you don't like what they have in a lunch bag then you need to start to serve your own lunch.

our school tried to dictate what we can and cannot bring to school (the kids in their lunch bags) well it didn't go far. I pack 4 lunches every day. Do you know how hard its to pack healthy nutritious lunches that will with stand sitting there all day. And our school allows the children to eat for only 15min and then they are pushed outside. also, if this child is eating it in moderation, well then its fine.

[cheerfuldom]

Please do those children a favor and serve your own lunch! Parent's will never get it.

It's just so disgusting the crap people feed their children.I for one,can't stand to watch it so I just have my rates high enough to be able to provide lunch.

Plus you could maybe join a food program. That way no one's feelings get hurt,kids get the proper nutrition and you don't have to worry another minute about it.
They can do whatever they want in their house,in mine I don't serve children junk.Period!

I am not licensed so I am not eligible for the food program. Right now it is VERY hard to find kids and if I raise rates in order to provide food, I would surely lose families. My compromise was to provide healthy snacks and parents provide a reasonable lunch.

[cheerfuldom]

I think what you're doing is fine, but I would tell the parents you need to talk about what junk food is. HONESTLY, I'm a fast food junkie and some things I eat I don't consider junk food because I know their is more junkier junk food out there, LOL. I needed to be taught what is junk food and what isn't. I would approach this with a letter posted for all parents just a reminder about food from home and this doesn't target any one parent.

You can include other things besides supplying healthy food, not junk food, like wash and dry lunch boxes at least weekly. Have all lunches labeled. Make sure you use spill-proof containers. Then maybe you can include a food pyramid or something educational about foods like healthy-easy-meals or snacks to make.

If that doesn't help, I would be talking to the parent after a week. Sometimes it takes a week before they get a chance to grocery shop. You could also send home a sample of two weeks worth of menu's that ARE healthy to give ideas. What would you serve? Type it up and send it home and maybe you'll start seeing some of the menu options appear in the lunch boxes! I would make sure the parent understands that it's not okay to continue sending junk food.

Thank you for your ideas. I know these parents know better....like I said, we talked at length. They have two teenage boys so its not like they are first time parents. They just say that they are "on the go" all the time and this is what is easiest. The mom is a nurse, trust me, they know nutrition basics. They just chose to do otherwise because it seems easier than slicing fruit.

[cheerfuldom]

I'm in a Center and we pull the sweet treats from lunches and serve them after naptime as a snack. Then they go outside to burn it off. They are allowed 1 sweet treat. If they have multiples they get a choice and the rest goes home. We've never had a parent complain that their child didn't get to eat their sweets.

Does your hubby work with you? If he does then schedule an errand after lunch for yourself and let him feed them the sweets and deal with the chaos that ensues when it's time to get them down for nap.

If it is totally your business then that's what it is. I don't tell my husband how to do his work and he doesn't tell me how to do mine. It's worked out pretty well for 27 years now so this isn't a trial thing for me.

Best wishes getting him to butt out and let you do what you need to do.

No, my hubby does not work with me

[Breezy]

I dont think youre in the wrong at all. At least youre sending it home and not pitching it! I have encountered the issue in the past and served the snack after nap time. But only if the child is rhe only one of their age group here as it wouldnt be fair if Little Johnny had a cupcake and noone else got one.

[Unregistered]

Either you serve all meals and snacks and claim the deduction on your taxes or check the lunchboxes when they arrive.

[cheerfuldom]

First off, I want to say that I applaud your efforts in trying to make sure the kids in your care have a healthy diet and nutritious lunches.

However, I agree with the others that you don't provide lunches so it is the parents choice to send whatever they want...even a bag of candybars. I think that the arguement that you don't want to deal with the fights of one kid getting a cupcake and another not getting one shouldnt even play into the equation as that is just par for the course if parents HAVE to supply their own lunches.

As far as the thought of sugar making the kid all crazy before lunch, I would address that issue IF it was a problem, which for some kids it isn't a problem...kwim? If this particular little girl gets wound up and won't sleep, then I would approach the parents and talk with them from that angle but I do agree that you shouldn't dictate what a family chooses to feed their child (even if it is absolute crap!).

I also see your point about the approved list of foods and the family reading the contract and agreeing to it. I think if you want to address things from that stand point it would be well within your rights, but I kind of think it is a bit controlling to even have a list of approved foods at all. (But they did agree.)

The fact they agreed to your contract in the first place is what I have trouble getting over. The fact that they agreed kind of negates the other things I said. So I guess I am going to stay on the fence with this as I dont know what I would do since I have never been in this kind of situation. I am on the food program so...

Maybe it is time to simply have a sit down conference with these parents and go over your contract and discuss with them whether or not your program is the right fit for them or not as I am thinking it is not the right place for them.

It would be different if they were totally willing to learn and grow while taking your advice and attempts at improving their child's diet but if they are not open to that, then maybe you should let them go so they can find another provider...kwim?

Oh and as far as your DH goes, mine sometimes does the same thing. I just smile and say "thanks hun, but I got this." and do what I have always done.

I dont have a list of approved foods....I have a very small list of "no no" foods so its not like I am controlling every single thing that goes into their mouth. I have asked parents to refrain from sending candy, gum, sugary drinks (like soda or high sugar juices), and from sending more than one small treat per lunch. The lunch section is a very small section....I promise I am not a food Nazi about this. The kids get treats but they finish their lunch first and all the parents know this.

This particular girl was sent with a sugary juice drink (no milk, no water for the whole day!) and TWO treats that were adult sized portions in my perspective. She didnt have any of the treats because she didnt eat her lunch first.

The parents have said that the previous provider had an issue with naps for this girl and I believe the unhealthy food was a part of the problem which is why I mentioned the nap improvement.

I am not willing to have another conversation about lunches (there already have been three) because it is obvious to me that the parents are going to do their thing no matter what. I dont want to lose this family over being super super strict about lunches so my compromise is to send home the junk (or limit what she does have here).

Again, I cannot provide lunches for all the kids at this time. I cannot get licensed until I can pay for a few home improvements and with a baby on the way, I cannot afford these right now. Hopefully the lunch program will be an option in the future!

[cheerfuldom]

Just curious - do you say anything to the parent that sends their child in with those mini Chef Boyardee things EVERY DAY?

We had one child like that - I swear his Mom must have bought a case of them or something because that's all the child came with day after day. We would mention it to DCD at pick up that the child would whine and fuss because he was sick of it and the parent would just shrug and walk away or say "well he eats them at home".

I have had some parents that provide Lunchables, UnCrustables, little microwavable meals and such....and I serve them. Like I said, I am not a crazy over the top healthy person with the kids. I do have a few "no" items and I really dont think its unreasonable to live within the like five rules that I have. I microwave if needed, put lunches in the fridge (it doesnt have to sit out all day) and do other small things like slicing items so I do try to help out as much as possible. Is it really so hard to put in a banana (that I will peel and slice for the kid)? Thats actually easier than filling a sandwich bag with chips I would think.

[cheerfuldom]

well she just showed up and lunch included the sugary juice but only one snack (instead of two or three). I will make sure she gets water and milk during snack time and then water down the juice for lunch. Hold off on the treat till she eats everything else. That follows my policies while still being a compromise for the parents I think.

[Blackcat31]

well she just showed up and lunch included the sugary juice but only one snack (instead of two or three). I will make sure she gets water and milk during snack time and then water down the juice for lunch. Hold off on the treat till she eats everything else. That follows my policies while still being a compromise for the parents I think.

Ya know after all this, I think you are more and more in the right and although the parent has every right to feed their child whatever crap they wish, I can totally see how it is YOUR problem when they do.

Maybe you could tell them water/milk is the ONLY acceptable drink they can send and just keep returning the "junk food" they do send.
I would maybe even go so far as to make a comment or two to them about how their DD is not always full after lunch and when they ask why, you can say that it is because they aren't sending enough healthy foods for her to eat....ya know, kinda just passing the issue back to them.

I am sure they would compensate by adding twice the junk food than they already send but I would just keep sending it home and at pick up each day say "Her 'junk food' is in her bag" and then smile sweetly.

Maybe, just maybe, they might "see the light". If not, then just keep doing what your doing.

[MizzCheryl]

You could send them a little list of ideas of healthy things the other kids bring. They may just not know any good ideas of things their daughter could bring that would be easy. Especially if they are new to packing healthy lunches.
I mean it could be worth a shot.

[My3cents]

read about half the replies and then decided to post myself......

my 3cents is.........

join a food program. You will be reimbursed and its easy and then you have someone else to blame for making good choices when it comes to nutrition.

I have done it both ways, had the kids bring lunch from home, and served.

It is hard when our husbands don't support us the way that we need.

If the parents are providing. It is very hard to tell them what to bring.

Occasionally junk foods are ok, in moderation. Sugar will set them up for a high and bring them down fast- all depends on the kid, person.

I do feel it is your business and you should run it the way that you want. Maybe print off a list of what foods you find acceptable, and ones that you don't want to see at care. This makes it clear to your parents and also gives you something to fall back on.

Best-

[cheerfuldom]

read about half the replies and then decided to post myself......

my 3cents is.........

join a food program. You will be reimbursed and its easy and then you have someone else to blame for making good choices when it comes to nutrition.

I have done it both ways, had the kids bring lunch from home, and served.

It is hard when our husbands don't support us the way that we need.

If the parents are providing. It is very hard to tell them what to bring.

Occasionally junk foods are ok, in moderation. Sugar will set them up for a high and bring them down fast- all depends on the kid, person.

I do feel it is your business and you should run it the way that you want. Maybe print off a list of what foods you find acceptable, and ones that you don't want to see at care. This makes it clear to your parents and also gives you something to fall back on.

Best-

Again, I CANNOT join a food program because I am unlicensed. That is not an option for me.

[daycare]

Again, I CANNOT join a food program because I am unlicensed. That is not an option for me.

I agree with what you are doing....I don't allow junk food...This is my business and my rules. I don't contribute to UNHEALTHY choices....if you want to give your kid crap, YOU give it to them on your time. I don't care who is providing the food. If you set guidelines, then they should be honored.

I am on the food program, but even if I were not, I would not allow parents to send junk food. I am the one who has to deal with the children and I am NOT going to give them junky food that will cause them to have sugar or carb crashes and then have to deal with the behavior. AND YES food does effect a persons mood and behavior. Look at all of the kids out there with ADD/ADHD.

I say you keep on doing what you are doing...... I think it is a GREAT thing to teach these kids at an early age what is healthy and what is not......

[cheerfuldom]

okay I said that today they only sent one treat.....

but then at the end of the day I saw a giant box of candy in her diaper bag. The kind you get at the movie theater. They know that candy will NOT be given here. Maybe they just use it to bribe her during the car ride to and from but still, that was a huge box of candy!