Do You Think I Did Something Wrong...My Husband Thinks So

[cheerfuldom]

Cheer, can I ask you what exactly is said to parents that are interviewing in regards to lunches and what types of foods are sent?

What is the wording you use? Are you actually giving a specific list of things they cannot send or are you simply saying "no junk food"?

I really think this may be where the confusion lies. If you want to set boundaries for what types of food is allowed and not allowed, I almost think it needs to literally be spelled out as I have several families who I know think Little Debbies are ok as a bread/grain component.....or that fruit snacks made from 100% juice concentrate is part of the fruit/veggie group....kwim?

I don't think providers are mis-understanding what the situation is but more that you parents might be mis-interpreting what is and isn't ok to send. I may be wrong but I was just curious as to what the wording is you use or have in print that outlines your lunch rules.

I have a short but specific list of foods that are not allowed. Sugary juices and candy are specified on the list and both of these items were brought! I also ask that snack items such as cupcakes, cookies, chips, etc. be limited to one item per lunch, if provided at all and these parents have sent two or three of these items per lunch. I get what you are saying.....but I am rounding the corner to 6 years of home daycare so my contract is very thorough. These are the same parents that complained that my contract was too strict and too explicit. They wanted the loophole and couldnt find it so I believe they sent the junk anyway just to see what I would do about it....if I would allow it or not.

[cheerfuldom]

OP I am confussed so you do not even supply watter?

Of course I supply water! Water and milk at snack times if the kids need it. I said in a previous post that I did not give this kid her sugary juice one day, just substituted with water (because of the high sugar content in the rest of her lunch). They did not send her any water or milk in her cup. I either just give her water or milk or I water down the juice that is sent.

[cheerfuldom]

BC this is a very good point....
I have families that think that if you just get the apples instead of the fries in a happy meal that it is ok to eat at MC Donalds every day.

OP- Maybe you can create a list of items they can or CAN NOT send their child. Years ago when I did not have the food program, I used to have a list of items that they could bring. Most of the parents did follow it, some did not.

NOt that you want to do it, but I think that unless you provide your own food, you are always going to get someone NOT following the food request. Which could be for many reasons. Money being one of them.

When I was coaching sports, I made a list of items that I wanted families to take turns bringing for snack at the games. Often I family would bring these fruit drink boxes that contained 42 grams of sugar. WOW!! So I asked the family why would you buy those? They said, well we always buy whatever is cheapest. I just grinned and realized that maybe they could not afford the healthier options........

Again, I have a SPECIFIC list outlined in my contract. It is short but specific. How much more specific can I be besides saying "Do not send candy in your child's lunch or with your child to daycare". I know what these parents do for a living. One is a nurse, one works for a university, both well paying jobs. They have their older kids in a lot of extra activities....trust me, they can pay for a bit healthier options. Besides, I dont put much stock in the "healthy food is too expensive". Bananas were $.37 a lb at the grocery store last night. Apples not much more expensive. A heck of lot cheaper than Little Debbies, large boxes of candy, name brand kid juices.

[cheerfuldom]

To cut down on at least part of the problem, how about you have the parents send just the food and you supply the drinks--cups of water, all around! That eliminates the drink problem.

Could you give a sample formula for the lunches, such as, "Your child's packed lunch should contain healthful options such as fresh fruit, fresh veggies, a sandwich on whole grain bread, a meat/cheese/yogurt/other protein. Any high-sugar items/treats are highly discouraged and will only be given after all other components are finished." You could add that, "This recommendation is based on the federal food program guidelines for children's meals." If you don't want to offer water with the meal, then include a line about them needing to include a bottle/thermos of water or milk."

You could also say, "Children's lunches should be healthy and well-rounded, including at minimum, two servings of fruit/veggies, one of a grain product (such as whole grain bread, crackers, pretzels, etc) , and one of a protein product (such as meat, cheese, yogurt, nuts, beans, etc)."

You could always have the ingredients for a healthy lunch on hand (peanut butter, jelly, whole grain bread, string cheese, apples, carrots) and if the lunch they send is not acceptable then you provide the lunch for $5 a pop and send the uneaten lunch home.

thank you for your ideas. I do provider drinks....water, milk, occasionally no suger juices if I find it on sale. I do like the idea of substituting healthy items and charging for it if necessary. That will be something to keep in mind for the future.....

[My3cents]

Again, I CANNOT join a food program because I am unlicensed. That is not an option for me.

Again answering before reading replies-

Is getting your license an option for you? Check into it, you might be legal as unlicensed and able to join. I don't think so but check further into it.

I feel it is your home your rules, your policy, your business. I would continue to send home food that is not allowed but make it clear by giving them a list of foods that are acceptable, and foods that are not- or charge more and just serve your own meals. Parents are going to figure it out when they are buying food that the child is not allowed to eat go to waste. I would offer healthy replacement so that they can't say your not allowing the child to eat-

best-

[My3cents]

I agree with what you are doing....I don't allow junk food...This is my business and my rules. I don't contribute to UNHEALTHY choices....if you want to give your kid crap, YOU give it to them on your time. I don't care who is providing the food. If you set guidelines, then they should be honored.

I am on the food program, but even if I were not, I would not allow parents to send junk food. I am the one who has to deal with the children and I am NOT going to give them junky food that will cause them to have sugar or carb crashes and then have to deal with the behavior. AND YES food does effect a persons mood and behavior. Look at all of the kids out there with ADD/ADHD.

I say you keep on doing what you are doing...... I think it is a GREAT thing to teach these kids at an early age what is healthy and what is not......

lovethishappyface I agree with this too. I also feel your educating the parents not just the kids. Some parents just do not know for whatever reason. They grew up on junk food, they are lazy, they don't cook etc....

[cheerfuldom]

Again answering before reading replies-

Is getting your license an option for you? Check into it, you might be legal as unlicensed and able to join. I don't think so but check further into it.

I feel it is your home your rules, your policy, your business. I would continue to send home food that is not allowed but make it clear by giving them a list of foods that are acceptable, and foods that are not- or charge more and just serve your own meals. Parents are going to figure it out when they are buying food that the child is not allowed to eat go to waste. I would offer healthy replacement so that they can't say your not allowing the child to eat-

best-

No licensing is not an option right now. I did put in another post that I cannot get licensed until I do some home improvements. Cant do those till I have more money...aka more kids here. Plus I have a baby due in Nov and do not want to pursue home improvements, inspections, etc. when I am already almost half way thru this pregnancy.

[My3cents]

Thank you!

I was surprised at some of the responses too but its okay if we disagree. This post has not changed my mind or made me feel that I was in the wrong, even if other providers thought I was.

I am NOT dictating what the parents should feed their child. I AM setting boundaries for what I will and will not serve when the child is in my care. I think that is the big difference that a lot of posters are missing.

I am with you on this.......your doing a good thing. I too feel you need to verbally address it again until it sinks in.

I feel the parents are looking at it as that they feel they are buying the food they will buy what they want, what they can afford, and what they know. That does not make it right, but you need to teach them what is acceptable to your program. Print out a list of what is acceptable and what is not in your program. If anyone had an issue with it, I would serve them lunch and charge them a weekly fee that will cover the expense of the food. Then you know what they are eating because it is what you are eating.

For me I am allowed two sweet treats a week on my food program. I never do this. I only do cupcakes or something for when a child has a birthday. Parents are amazed because the kids eat a wide variety of fruits and vegetables. Why? Because I serve them- they are exposed to them. They see me eat them.

[My3cents]

I cant afford to provide lunch. I have open spots right now and it is very hard to find replacements. Down the road, I will be able to provide lunch with the help of the food program!

up your prices enough to cover it. The sooner you can get on the food program the better you will be. Its a little work but it well worth it.

Your not stuck, you have choices. I wish you the best.

[cheerfuldom]

up your prices enough to cover it. The sooner you can get on the food program the better you will be. Its a little work but it well worth it.

Your not stuck, you have choices. I wish you the best.

I upped my price about 18 months ago to start offering snacks because of similar issues. Parents providing absolute junk for kids as young as 9 months. Worse than what I have already described. Anyway, I posted another thread about actually having to reduce my current full time rate just this week in order to compete with the local daycare chaos here. Feel free to read and contribute ideas!

All that to say that upping my current rate will result in losing families. I know this 100% for sure. I am already at the high end (I just lowered to $130 a week, but many many new daycares are charging $90 to $125 a week). This is the best I can do for now.

[familyschoolcare]

Of course I supply water! Water and milk at snack times if the kids need it. I said in a previous post that I did not give this kid her sugary juice one day, just substituted with water (because of the high sugar content in the rest of her lunch). They did not send her any water or milk in her cup. I either just give her water or milk or I water down the juice that is sent.

Thank you for clearing that up I was confussed by what you meant by parents did not send water.

[cheerfuldom]

Thank you for clearing that up I was confussed by what you meant by parents did not send water.

Oh! I was confused too....I meant that the parents send an empty cup. No water, no milk for the whole day unless I provide it, which I will. I'm not so strict and mean hearted to a let a kid go without the essentials. They do send her one of those squeeze juices for lunch but even that is not enough liquids for her. She's only 2 and the weather is pushing over 90 degress in the afternoon.

[daycare]

Again, I have a SPECIFIC list outlined in my contract. It is short but specific. How much more specific can I be besides saying "Do not send candy in your child's lunch or with your child to daycare". I know what these parents do for a living. One is a nurse, one works for a university, both well paying jobs. They have their older kids in a lot of extra activities....trust me, they can pay for a bit healthier options. Besides, I dont put much stock in the "healthy food is too expensive". Bananas were $.37 a lb at the grocery store last night. Apples not much more expensive. A heck of lot cheaper than Little Debbies, large boxes of candy, name brand kid juices.

just because the parents have good jobs does not mean that they spend their money right. I have friends that are doctors that cant afford to even go to the movies or simple things because they are so in over their heads in debt. In fact they happen to be one of the families that was buying the junk juice at the soccer games.

They just don't always have their priorities straight....

[familyschoolcare]

Op --

How is no surgary drinks listed on the do not send foods list.

If it is listed as no surgary drinks then it might help to spell out what you mean. Many people think that juice that says made with real juice is good for you with out reading the label to learn that it only has 10% juice and some flavorings and some sugar added. NOt sure if that will help.

FYI- I have a similair policy. However, I supply food and children can bring a sanck or eat what ever is left in thier lunch. I only allow the children to eat one treat food (non-growing food) a day regaurdless to how long they are in my care that day the rest just goes home. Another thinkg to point out to parents that might not understand why you are enforcing these guidlines is that as a child care provider or a "teacher" you need to set a good example, and deminstrate good eating habits.

[Unregistered]

Raise your rates by 5 or 10 bucks a week to compensate for meals. At tax time you can claim the breakfasts, lunches and snacks youve served....regardless of licensing.