Can't Bring Ourselves To Do Mothers Day Crafts....Will Parents Understand?

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  • Sugar Magnolia
    Blossoms Blooming
    • Apr 2011
    • 2647

    Can't Bring Ourselves To Do Mothers Day Crafts....Will Parents Understand?

    My husband (who is my partner at our daycare center) lost his mom this week. She had been quite ill for months, but did not survive her trip to the hospital. This week in May we usually do at least one craft project, make cards and do mom-themed coloring pages. My poor husband just can't bring himself to do it, too much, too soon, too emotional for him. I was going to quietly let it go, but now feel like I will disappoint all my moms. They know his mom died, but should I explain myself? Yes, I know it's not the kids fault my husband lost his mom, but I just can't put him through it. Selfish? Maybe, but he's my husband and he is grieving. He just doesn't want to. Will the parents understand?
  • Zoe
    Advanced Daycare.com Member
    • Dec 2010
    • 1445

    #2
    Hubby trumps daycare kids. The parents should understand. Otherwise, could you perhaps do the craft with the kids while DH sits that one out? If not, then I say put your husband first. Really, it isn't solely up to you to provide mother's day presents/crafts to all the moms. The families should all have something in place as well, so I wouldn't sweat it too much. I'm very sorry for your loss.

    Comment

    • cheerfuldom
      Advanced Daycare.com Member
      • Dec 2010
      • 7413

      #3
      oh wow, this is hard. Is he there all the time? Can you do something when he is not there?

      Otherwise, I think I might just do something super easy to send home that the kids dont have to do anything to make.....so its not an activity in front of your hubby. Nice framed pictures of the kids? One year I do those side-by-side plastic frames (very cheap) and you can do a picture on one side and a poem about mom on the other. Just put together when your husband is busy in the evening or something and discretely tuck in bags on the way out that Friday.

      Comment

      • temom
        Daycare.com Member
        • May 2012
        • 111

        #4
        Originally posted by Zoe
        Hubby trumps daycare kids. The parents should understand. Otherwise, could you perhaps do the craft with the kids while DH sits that one out? If not, then I say put your husband first. Really, it isn't solely up to you to provide mother's day presents/crafts to all the moms. The families should all have something in place as well, so I wouldn't sweat it too much. I'm very sorry for your loss.
        i agree with zoe.
        And i am sorry for your loss, May God grant you and your family strenght in this time of need. Nothing is more important then your husband and kids.

        Comment

        • Sugar Magnolia
          Blossoms Blooming
          • Apr 2011
          • 2647

          #5
          Thanks Zoe. I just feel bad for the kiddos. Maybe we can just paint pictures and lay off the mothers day theme.

          Comment

          • Sugar Magnolia
            Blossoms Blooming
            • Apr 2011
            • 2647

            #6
            Originally posted by cheerfuldom
            oh wow, this is hard. Is he there all the time? Can you do something when he is not there?

            Otherwise, I think I might just do something super easy to send home that the kids dont have to do anything to make.....so its not an activity in front of your hubby. Nice framed pictures of the kids? One year I do those side-by-side plastic frames (very cheap) and you can do a picture on one side and a poem about mom on the other. Just put together when your husband is busy in the evening or something and discretely tuck in bags on the way out that Friday.
            Yeah he us here all 50 hours with me, impossible to work around him, too small of a center, just us and pt staffer. Nice ideas, thanks, but I am pretty set on skipping it. Just trying not to disappoint my moms.

            Comment

            • Sugar Magnolia
              Blossoms Blooming
              • Apr 2011
              • 2647

              #7
              Originally posted by temom
              i agree with zoe.
              And i am sorry for your loss, May God grant you and your family strenght in this time of need. Nothing is more important then your husband and kids.
              Thank you for your condolences.

              Comment

              • cheerfuldom
                Advanced Daycare.com Member
                • Dec 2010
                • 7413

                #8
                Originally posted by Sugar Magnolia
                Yeah he us here all 50 hours with me, impossible to work around him, too small of a center, just us and pt staffer. Nice ideas, thanks, but I am pretty set on skipping it. Just trying not to disappoint my moms.
                You have to do what is right for you and your husband, first and foremost. If any moms are disappointed, that doesnt mean you did something wrong. Its a shame if they dont understand but either way, you have to worry about your hubby first and they will get over it. Its just one craft....if anyone says something rude, let me know and I'll come over and get some sense into them, k?

                Comment

                • Sugar Magnolia
                  Blossoms Blooming
                  • Apr 2011
                  • 2647

                  #9
                  It was an unexpected death, but we are open and working through it. He is ok when he is here, keeping busy and surrounded by our wonderful students. (it is much worse when we get home at night). You would think the parents would be grateful for being open, so the lack of craft should be ok. No one will be rude cheerful, I am sure of that.

                  Comment

                  • momofsix
                    Advanced Daycare.com Member
                    • Oct 2009
                    • 1846

                    #10
                    I'm so sorry for your families loss. Your husband needs your support and understanding much more than the mom's need another mother's day gift. You've already got your priorities straight-your moms will be just fine.

                    Comment

                    • Blackcat31
                      • Oct 2010
                      • 36124

                      #11
                      (((((hugs))))) to you and your husband for your loss.

                      I honestly refrain from making any craft or special items for Mother's or Father's Day(s) as many children do not have a mother or father figure in their lives.

                      My role here is to care for these children while facilitating good social skills and independence.

                      IMPO, I see no reason for arts/crafts to "celebrate" holidays or special days that FAMILY should be incorporating into the children's lives.

                      Your DCK's are going to notice tha tyou are your husband are grieving so I think it would better and somewhat theraputic for you and your husband to continue on with your daily acitivites as you normally do.

                      Again, hugs and good thoughts sent your way. I can't imagine losing my mother and especially so close to Mother's Day. I will keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

                      Comment

                      • Sugar Magnolia
                        Blossoms Blooming
                        • Apr 2011
                        • 2647

                        #12
                        Thanks for those kind words Blackcat. Hugs accepted.

                        Comment

                        • sharlan
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • May 2011
                          • 6067

                          #13
                          Thoughts and prayers for your dh and your family.

                          It's really a tough situation. Ask your dh how he feels, would he rather not do a MD craft this year......... Follow his lead.

                          Comment

                          • Sugar Magnolia
                            Blossoms Blooming
                            • Apr 2011
                            • 2647

                            #14
                            Originally posted by sharlan
                            Thoughts and prayers for your dh and your family.

                            It's really a tough situation. Ask your dh how he feels, would he rather not do a MD craft this year......... Follow his lead.
                            Thanks sharlan. He never likes doing mothers day crafts, because ironically, his father died on Mothers Day eighteen years ago.

                            Comment

                            • cheerfuldom
                              Advanced Daycare.com Member
                              • Dec 2010
                              • 7413

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Blackcat31
                              (((((hugs))))) to you and your husband for your loss.

                              I honestly refrain from making any craft or special items for Mother's or Father's Day(s) as many children do not have a mother or father figure in their lives.

                              My role here is to care for these children while facilitating good social skills and independence.

                              IMPO, I see no reason for arts/crafts to "celebrate" holidays or special days that FAMILY should be incorporating into the children's lives.

                              Your DCK's are going to notice tha tyou are your husband are grieving so I think it would better and somewhat theraputic for you and your husband to continue on with your daily acitivites as you normally do.

                              Again, hugs and good thoughts sent your way. I can't imagine losing my mother and especially so close to Mother's Day. I will keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.
                              this is a really good point, thanks. I guess I hadnt thought of that because all of my kids come from two parent homes but it is important to keep in mind for future kids. you are right, the idea of family is way more important than the particulars. I was thinking about this and was going to offer my kids if they want to make a mothers day craft for someone in addition to mom....grandma, aunt, sunday school teacher or any loved one really. I like that idea, thanks.

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