I'm sorry for your loss, that is so hard. 
I would skip it for this year ~ if your heart isn't in it, your heart isn't in it. We are human beings for heavens sake and if your dcparents can't understand your dh's grief then it is their problem, not yours.
I do them because I like to do them, I don't feel 'obligated'. KWIM?

I would skip it for this year ~ if your heart isn't in it, your heart isn't in it. We are human beings for heavens sake and if your dcparents can't understand your dh's grief then it is their problem, not yours.
I do them because I like to do them, I don't feel 'obligated'. KWIM?
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