I Dont Like DCB VENT (Logged Out) Am I Alone?

[SunshineMama]

I agree with kids having a 6th sense about things. I try really hard at bonding with a child that I may not care for. Every time they do something that I don't care for I think of a positive about them. Lots of cuddling, hugs, one on one time for a few weeks. I won't talk bad about the child after DC to my husband and will only bringn up a few cute things the child did that day. I have only been in the situation twice. But I desided that if after the 2 weeks and I still felt the same way about the child I would term. I don't feel like it is fair for the child. Luckly I have never had to term. Best luck to you.

Thanks! I agree with everyone who said that I should term. I am looking for a replacement right now. Thinking about making some flierss and passing them out around the neighborhood.

[My3cents]

I think if you stick it out and look for the best in this little guy- you may find it. He is at that age where he can't talk and expresses himself the only way he knows how at this point. Teach him signs, words,and give him a chance to grow out of this annoying stage- He is tons of work right now. He demands it. I look at it as a challenge and that not all kids can be angels, cute etc...

You know what is in the best interest for your group, yourself and esp the little guy. If its not in you and you see no sight of it in the future- then do what you have to do. Keep in mind you could be a difference maker in his little life and as he blossoms you may grow to love him. Best- We have all been there before. I guess my best advice to you is hang or cut- and only you know the answer to that.

[cheerfuldom]

What's with the 1.5 year olds? I don't necessarily NOT LIKE my 1.5dcb... but he's most definitely my least favorite and most trouble in handling. I normally LOVE working with children this age... but this particular boy can be a nightmare. He is extremely whiney - cries every single time he is told NO, cries every single time he falls (even gently) on his bum, cries every single time he is served food he doesn't like (but ends up eating it anyways). Mom and dad spoil him absolutely rotten - which I am sure is more than half the battle. They also had him on baby food until way passed 12 months... and now almost every time mom talks about what he had for supper (which is often) it was pizza, ravioli, frozen baby dinners or some other garbage food. Mom thinks her little man is a genius, which I wish I could confirm... he's actually quite far behind developmentally.

oh yeah, that age is tough. about 10 months they start crying to be picked up and if they are spoiled at home, it can take a good 6 months to get over this phase. They have to have "no" and boundaries 5 times as much at daycare if the parents are not doing it at home. Its tough for sure.

[cheerfuldom]

in the spiritual thread it was mentioned how kids sense or see the world differently. They tend to have a 6th sense for things, and they know.

One of my dcg's that I had I really disliked for a long time. But she did grow on me. She is one of the bratty ones I have posted before, sneaky, and always bad, whining etc. She is not 1.75 yo and has improved greatly, and is one of my favorites by far now (not that I play favorites, I love all my dck's equally, but sometimes they just don't click right away and take time).





I wonder, maybe the dcb on the op's post is treated poorly at home, and is just crying out because of it. I'm not implyin that the parents are bad parents, but maybe they are busy and he is not really "seen" at home. Maybe it's just sort of a pick up, go home, eat, go to bed type deal?

I just wanted to say that my "unlovable" girl has been here for going on 3 years and she did grow on me. It just took longer to get there because of all the things she was struggling with. I didnt want anyone to think that my previous post meant that I still wasnt bonded to her. There is no way that I could term her now after all we've been through

[sharlan]

I understand how you feel. Truly do. Sounds like my own child!

I am going to say a few things, and I hope they don't come across the wrong way.

1. I can almost guarantee, even with your faking it, this child KNOWS or senses and the energy you give off is feeding it. I bet the parents of this child are dealing with the same issues too, and the child KNOWS that too. He feels like he doesn't belong and he is lashing out how he knows how to.

2. At 1.5 yo, i wouldn't expect him to have a large vocabulary, and in my experience, not many boys are talking more than mom and dad at that age. It will come with time. HOWEVER, children who don't have the words only know how to communicate through physical and what limited vocabulary or sounds that they do have. When my ds was 3yo he still wasn't talking, so he made noises, cried, whined and became physical all the time. The crying and whining was his frustration from not being able to communicate. It literally took a toll on all of us.

3. Flame suit on! If you are unhappy and your attempts to help this child isn't working out, you need to term RIGHT NOW, and not just keep him because you cannot afford to lose him. I don't think this is right at all. Things will work out financially for you. I know how hard it is to struggle and make ends meet, but it's not fair to you, that child, OR the other kids in care to suffer because of money.

I know this wasn't really ADVICE but it's something to think about. This child may be acting out this way because he cannot communicate, is frustrated and he feels like he doesn't belong.

I agree. Kids "feel" far more than we give them credit for. Can you imagine being stuck with somebody that doesn't care for you for 10 hrs a day, 5 days a week without being able to express how you feel? The only way this child can express himself is by whinning.

[Bookworm]

I just wanted to say that my "unlovable" girl has been here for going on 3 years and she did grow on me. It just took longer to get there because of all the things she was struggling with. I didnt want anyone to think that my previous post meant that I still wasnt bonded to her. There is no way that I could term her now after all we've been through

I work in a center and I have had one of my DCBs in my center since infancy. Once he reached the toddler room, everything changed as far as his behavior. Ever since then, not one teacher in any of the rooms he's been in (1's-4's) can deal with him or his mom. It's not like we didn't try, it just won't happen.