Advice On How To Deal With Situation

[daycare]

its one thing to miss your child but its a whole other thing to sabatoge the child and confuse them. I'm throwing you a back bone. This is what I would do, when they come in with a blanket, get the child situated and come back to see mom off, and hand her a bag to put the blanket in it and put it in her car.

I agree with what you are saying about confusing the child, but you CAN teach the child what to do at your house. I do it all the time...Its super simple.... I tell the kids you can have it at home, not here, go put it in your box or I will give it to mommy and she will take it home. If mommy has already left, I go get a grocery bag, put the blanket in it and hang it on the outside of my door...... I don't even bother with it for the rest of the day....They learn really fast this way.


YOu choose your battles...Argue with mom or train the child...up to you.. I would chose to train the child....A lot easier

[dEHmom]

I see both sides of this. Normally I have never had an issue, because I either just pack it away (and she manages to get it anyways), but then when mom comes at pickup there is a huge fuss over blanket. DCG ALWAYS looks at me and smiles, like "ha my mommy will give it to me" and so this ends up making pickups a lot longer than needed.

I have 1 kid with a soother, and it stays with the playpen.

I have 1 kid with a little teddy blanket (one of those itty bitty squares blankets with a head at the center?) and it stays in his playpen all week, goes home fridays for washing, but he doesn't care about it at all.

This one dcg has been tough to break of this, since november, because she knows it's in the playpen so she sits there and cries, or she knows its in the backpack so she either steals it out of there, or sits there and cries. It's very apparent, that whatever she wants she gets. And I hate the little act she puts on when mom is here, because I she will look at me and smile, and then ccry for mom, and then look at me again. i give her my look and she will sort of settle a bit, but then mom does the "aww, what's wrong" or whatever. And mom is always saying "i don't know why she cries for me all the time" and i just ignore it, because I'm not getting into that with her.

[daycare]

I see both sides of this. Normally I have never had an issue, because I either just pack it away (and she manages to get it anyways), but then when mom comes at pickup there is a huge fuss over blanket. DCG ALWAYS looks at me and smiles, like "ha my mommy will give it to me" and so this ends up making pickups a lot longer than needed.

I have 1 kid with a soother, and it stays with the playpen.

I have 1 kid with a little teddy blanket (one of those itty bitty squares blankets with a head at the center?) and it stays in his playpen all week, goes home fridays for washing, but he doesn't care about it at all.

This one dcg has been tough to break of this, since november, because she knows it's in the playpen so she sits there and cries, or she knows its in the backpack so she either steals it out of there, or sits there and cries. It's very apparent, that whatever she wants she gets. And I hate the little act she puts on when mom is here, because I she will look at me and smile, and then ccry for mom, and then look at me again. i give her my look and she will sort of settle a bit, but then mom does the "aww, what's wrong" or whatever. And mom is always saying "i don't know why she cries for me all the time" and i just ignore it, because I'm not getting into that with her.

Ugh what a nightmare....BUT I would still just have it put up where DCK cannot get to it util nap time. Then as mom arrives give it back and out the door they go.

I have parents that come in and undo in seconds that took me all week to teach their kids. They baby them, give them their ways, etc. I don't care, just please go so that I can go on my way. They know that I don't allow for it, butmommy and daddy does. Oh well, i can't tell mommy and daddy what to do. Just as long as you are doing what works for you, then don't worry about it if mommy give her everything she wants. You will never cure that and it will be an on going battle. If it's mom that has this issue, I am sure that she will find something else if you take the blanket away all together....

[wdmmom]

I had a DCK that was a blankie baby too.

I handled it like this:

I don't ship things back and forth at arrivals and departures. You hand off the kid and that's it. No carseats, no bags, no lovies, nothing.

You want a blanket to stay here, it stays here every, single day. I will wash every weekend and it will be kept in the napping area.

You don't want to keep a blanket here, I will supply.

If the child likes this particular blanket more, suggest that mom find another to keep at your house and quit the passing back and forth.

To me it's a health thing.

I don't know how clean their house is or if they are dragging it on the ground or if they have bed bugs, fleas, etc.

Keep it home and I'll keep one here.

[countrymom]

or you can put it in a plastic bag and tie it really really tight, so when mom tries to give it too her she can't undo it. And when she asks why its in a bag, tell her that dcg doesn't need it anymore and that you didn't want her to lose it in your closet.

[momof5]

I have a rule that NOTHING comes in from home. I provide EVERYTHING for the children I care for and I do not allow anything at all from from home. It is so much easier this way!

[dEHmom]

This morning, guess what!

DCG comes in, no blankie, but baby doll in hand. But not a biggie. i have lots of dolls, but i have taken them away for a while because of the other incidents with this dcg. at least hers doesn't have clothes that come off. I imagine i'll be taking it away in half an hour when the other little girl arrives.

[frugalmama4]

I guess maybe I don't mind being that bad guy. If this were me, I would let mom do as she is, but as soon as mom leaves, tell DCG the lovie has to stay in your box until nap time. We only get to use it for naps.

Mom does not need to know what you do there to make it through your day. MOM is not there. If DCM needs for her to have it, then mom needs to keep her home so she can give it to here there....

Yep I agree with this a 100% parents just don't care about us and how we make it throughout the day with 5 plus kids. So I have decided for my own sanity to lay the law on the table "so to speak" at let the parents know how I roll.

And as for the kiddos...I'm at the point I do what I need to in order to make it through my day stress free!!! No different form a two parent home Dad discipline one way and mom another. So be it...BTW this is only my third month in-doing child care on this level and I have learn some much from this forum. LOVE YOU ALL...BIG HUGS

[daycare]

Yep I agree with this a 100% parents just don't care about us and how we make it throughout the day with 5 plus kids. So I have decided for my own sanity to lay the law on the table "so to speak" at let the parents know how I roll.

And as for the kiddos...I'm at the point I do what I need to in order to make it through my day stress free!!! No different form a two parent home Dad discipline one way and mom another. So be it...BTW this is only my third month in-doing child care on this level and I have learn some much from this forum. LOVE YOU ALL...BIG HUGS

heheh Can you feel the love tonight?

WOW wish I had your backbone. I am reaching my 9th year and I think you hav a better one than me....

[dEHmom]

within 30 seconds of my other dcg arriving, there was a fight, and almost a biting incident over the doll. so in her bag it went, and will stay.

[Crystal]

within 30 seconds of my other dcg arriving, there was a fight, and almost a biting incident over the doll. so in her bag it went, and will stay.

Precisely the reason for not allowing toys to brought from home. Children are not natural at sharing and are possissive of their belongings. I don't make children share, for a variety of reasons, so for them to bring their own belongings just won't work.

I would tell Mom excatly what happened. I would inform her that she is NOT to disrepect policies regarding outside toys/blankies/etc. being brought IN THE DOOR.....you should not be the one who has to take the child's belongings and be the "bad guy" because Mom cannot deal with it.

Next time she comes to the door with something, I'd direct her to take the child back to the car, leave it there and THEN come in.

[Jewels]

I personally don't mind blankets, their have never been any fights over them here, every kid brings one, and likes to have them at story and nap time, and they are always somewhere on the floor, and no kid ever touches anothers blanket unless to give it to them..I guess I am slightly different at this, I prefer the children to all bring a lovey here(no toys) that is theirs, I like for them to have something special here that is theirs, as my own kids have this, and since every kid has something, there are never any fights over taking someones blanket...........I see no reason to make the mom upset over this, if she likes her kid to have her blanket, why upset her about it? I would do what someone else suggested and after and only after mom leaves put it in her cubby, the girl will be fine with it, and mom will continue on with her day, I see no reason to make the mom upset over this issue.

[dEHmom]

its not so much the blanket itself that upsets me. it's more the games the mom plays with the blankets. ie: dcg is fine, mom calls her and hands her blanket. THATS what ticks me off. Especially cause mom knows we are working on keeping blanket out of daycare area.

Mom is also completely aware of the rules regarding outside toys etc. I will let her know today at pickup that from now on, it will be going back to car with her. If we don't get this resolved, then I will start keeping any toys and consider them donations.

[Jewels]

Yep I agree with this a 100% parents just don't care about us and how we make it throughout the day with 5 plus kids. So I have decided for my own sanity to lay the law on the table "so to speak" at let the parents know how I roll.

And as for the kiddos...I'm at the point I do what I need to in order to make it through my day stress free!!! No different form a two parent home Dad discipline one way and mom another. So be it...BTW this is only my third month in-doing child care on this level and I have learn some much from this forum. LOVE YOU ALL...BIG HUGS

I think its a very unfair statement to say parents do not care at all about us, I have said this before, it is unfair to ask for a parent to put themselves in our shoes, they have no idea what our day is like, and you can not fault them for that, all they see is their own child, they only picture us really with their child during the day, because thats what they know. Just as we in no way can put ourselves in their shoes, I have no idea how stressful and crazy my parents days and morning are.....They don't do our job, they CANT know what its like, This does not make them bad.

[daycare]

I think its a very unfair statement to say parents do not care at all about us, I have said this before, it is unfair to ask for a parent to put themselves in our shoes, they have no idea what our day is like, and you can not fault them for that, all they see is their own child, they only picture us really with their child during the day, because thats what they know. Just as we in no way can put ourselves in their shoes, I have no idea how stressful and crazy my parents days and morning are.....They don't do our job, they CANT know what its like, This does not make them bad.

She didn;t say that it made them bad parents.

I am the one who said that parents really don't care about HOW we do our job. I am not mad at them for that. I don't expect them to do things the way that I do them and vice verse.

I would never ask them to either. In the end, parents are going to do what works for them, just as we are going to do what works for us.