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Oh, and as I type this, my children are sitting next to me playing with the home made play dough we made this morning.
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What works for some doesnt for others and that is ok.
I have 3 kids and all of them are in at least 2 or more activities each week.
I never look at the cost as a burden. but that is just me.
Also, just so you k now, a lot of organizations have financial assistance for families that would not be able to afford the cost of playing sports. I should know, I currently sit on the board for the YMCA youth/senior campaign to raise funds for youth programs and senior programs.
It is ok that you don't like them, but if your children are wanting to do them will you allow them that opportunity?
When a child plays sports, it really is a family commitment and not all families want to make that kind of commitment and that's ok.
I think that this is a case of we can all agree to disagree and we still love ya no matter what.....Comment
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I personally would never have the patience for hockey. I do have a good friend who also does childcare in her home. Her son is almost 11 and has been in hockey since he was very young. She has out of town games (like in neighboring states, not just around here) and practices many evenings and weekends. It is very expensive. I would never be able to commit the time or money to it. But....it is very important to her that her son be able to play. He is big for his age and has ADHD (those letters do not look right to me....did I "spell" that wrong?). He has a terrible time in school academically and the other kids really pick on him alot. To be honest, he can be very annoying.I would have to disagree with this statement. My kids do exceptionally well in school. They have a tutor that comes twice a week to keep them all on task and make sure they are understanding material. (Sometimes it looks foreign to us! :
As for looking better on a college application...again...not true. In fact, only prestige colleges even have an application that asks about extra curricular activities. Most colleges don't care unless that is what you are going to school for.
And...to answer countrymom:
I'm not mad that kids take activities, I'm more tired of hearing people gripe on here about losing income yet never taking into consideration what sports are really costing you. People look at the per month price. They don't look at anything else.
This is something my husband and I disagree with all the time. I feel it is imperative for a child to have a loving mother and father in their household along with good food, meals together, time to focus on their homework and if time allows, time to play outside. (I guess we are fortunate enough to live in a cul de sac that is safe enough that we can send out kids out to play for an hour while dinner is cooking, while some are not.)
My husband was adopted at 3 years old and introduced to activities at that age. I find it completely obsurd to enroll a child in anything at that age. I even disagree with having the kids in anything beyond the norm. The kids can join scouts, band, orchestra, or chorus during elementary school. Scouts cost $20 a year, band is free, you just have to rent/purchase the instrument (they do have sliding fee scale for those unable to pay the full amount), same with orchestra and no fee for chorus. All of these activities are once a week or once every 2 weeks and are done during school hours with the exception of scouts and when there is a concert for the others.
Here's a prime example of what it is really costing. Keep in mind that I am in the midwest so prices may very from location to location. Hockey:
Equipment: $400 (this includes helmet, stick, knee pads, elbow pads, jersey, shorts, socks, skates, mouth guard, tape, bag for equipment, etc.
Annual cost: $360 (this includes 1 hour sessions usually twice per week)
Sharpening of skates: $90 ($10 each time, hockey is a 9 month committment)
Gas: $360 annually (I figured about $5 for a round trip.)
This comes to $1210!!!!!!!
And this doesn't include the wear and tear on your vehicle, tires, wiper blades, oil changes, etc!!!
Even when you take the total divided by 9 months it is in session, it's still equivalent to $135 a month or $32 a week or $15.70 per hour!!!!
To me, THAT is not going to scream anything OUTSTANDING when he is 10 years old!!!
What about those of you that have 3, 4, or 5 or more children? Are they all in activities?
Personally, I find living in a nice home, drive nice vehicles, eat good quality food, eating meals as a family, and being there to sit down with my kids at the kitchen table to play a game or do homework much more rewarding than toting them back and forth from activity to activity.
And...for my final 2 cents...perhaps childhood obesity is such a problem because kids are being run from school to home to get their things to McDonalds for a kiddy meal to gymnastics where they aren't burning off the full 600 calories they just ate. Just my opinion.
The other part that kills me is how are you able to sustain a business, afford activities for your children, still provide them with a wholesome meal, time to do schoolwork, time to do their chores, showers, and still give time for yourself?!
Hockey is the one of the few things right now that he is good at and his teammates are almost the only friends he has who are not unkind to him. It really helps his self esteem. So, I can understand why she feels the expense and time commitment is worth it for this child in particular.
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I didn't read all the replies as I'm a little short on time today, but I always limited my children to one thing, and as they got older it had to be one SHARED thing - like scouting or 4-H. They chose 4-H. We were all in it and that was our "thing". We were very active in it and it seemed to fulfill our need. We lived 15 mins from the closest town and only had one car. Driving in four or five times a week was just not an option for us.Comment
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I'm just trying to figure out where you find the time?
For example: My kids don't get off the bus until 430pm. (They go to school until 4pm)
My husband is usually home from work between 430pm and 5pm.
I don't get off work until 530pm. I usually plan meals ahead of time as well so they are usually done and ready to eat at 530 or 545pm right when I am off work.
Sometimes hockey is as early as 5pm (He has to be there at 5pm. Sometimes it's as late as 8pm.) The taekwondo that my son wants to get into is 445pm to 530pm Monday through Thursday! As long as I didn't have to be there, he could join and it's within walking distance. But then I would never be able to see him in action. I wouldn't know whether he is screwing off or if he actually enjoyed it. Would my money be going to a good cause or would it be wasted. And he is in a youth group activity every Wednesday from 4pm to 5pm so he would have to miss.
Right now my husband has the luxury of working for a family business so his hours aren't set in stone. However, he is starting school next month and who knows what that will leave in terms of a schedule to accommodate transportation.
My kids are also upstairs and in bed at 8pm.
To the poster who discussed tutoring, we pay $15 an hour for 3 hours of tuturing a week. She comes to our home and she works with the 3 middle children. It's not a large expense by any means.
I think the kids (some of them anyway) have reached the age where they should be allowed to participate in something if they want to. I just don't see it happening. With work schedules, school schedules, and the times some of these activities take place, and to try to keep some what of a routine we have going on, isn't going to leave a lot of free time.
Right now their schedule is this:
430pm - Get home from school
Work on school work or go outside for an hour
530pm - Dinnertime
630pm - 730pm Family time (We are either playing a boardgame, Kinnect, chores, family meetings, talking, watching a movie, etc.
730pm - Showers
8pm - Upstairs in their rooms. Picking out clothes for the next day, cleaning, reading, etc.
830pm - Lights out
As you can see...there really isn't much time to accommodate activities...especially when we are talking 5 kids!
And I don't know about you but after working 10.5 hours a day, I want to sit down, enjoy dinner, talk with my kids, clean up from dinner and RELAX!!!Comment
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I pick up my children from school at 2:40. Of the activities the four of them have most of them are done before 5:30. The exceptions are hockey which is over at 6:10 once per week and two dance classes and figure skating on the weekend. On hockey nights we eat early and have a large late snack. Dance and skating are over by noon on the weekends. I counted and combined they have 13 activities a week but we have so much down time it really doesn't feel like a lot.
Plus they are getting to an age where I can drop and leave (dance is a good example) and pick up 3 hours later when she's done a few classes.Comment
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have you looked into maybe an activity that is only one day a week or weekend? My 4 year old play sports and it's 1.5 hours every Saturday morning. No practices and no expensive equipment to buy. Most stuff through the YMCA does not require you to buy equipment.
Trust me, if it were not for relying on my kids friends parents to get them to their events, they would not be able to do most of them. I buy the parents gas cards each month as a thank you. $20.00 each. I also carpool for them whenever it is possible for me
As for the tae kwan do....trust me your son will not get a chance to goof off. My son did it for years and he was forced to respect his teacher and students. I think a lot of his behavior now is because of his martial arts.
Hear me out for one second.
What if your child was the next Barry Bonds? They would never know and you would never know if they did not get the chance to explore that.
My son is 16 and he is on the golf team through school. I hate golf and was not really excited about him playing at first.
Well, His coach invited him to play at a $450.00 round of golf on Tuesday on a team of grown men. Guess what my son beat everyone on the team. I never knew he was so great at it. I never get to go to see him play or cheer him on, but I get to see the look on his face and see how proud he is of himself. That for me is worth it.
Also, his coach picked him up at our house and dropped him off. When I talked to the coach, he told me that my son was up for a scholarship for college...I am super excited about that... I am so proud of him...Comment
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I have 6 children
I have 6 children ranging from 13 down to 22 months. I'm due again in April.
We live small. We don't have a huge house. Our vehicles are paid off. I do before and after school care only, plus I own my own successful retail/wholesale business.
Why do I have my kids enrolled in extras? Several reasons.
First off, my children are VERY smart and do very well in school. They are also mannerly and helpful at home. There is no reason NOT to let them participate in things they enjoy. Cost isn't something my kids should be worried about. I'm the parent here. That's MY department.
That said, my kids aren't enrolled in anything particularly expensive. My two older kids, 12 and 13 year old boys, play paintball, which can add up to be costly when they play in tournaments,etc. Well, those two boys have taken over responsibility for part of our family's hobby farm, and they make their own money. They also babysit and do lawn chores and odd jobs all summer. They mostly pay their own way when it comes to paintball. I'm tickled that they are active and busy, because it gives them less time to sit in their rooms thinking about dying their hair purple and getting some little twit pregnant.
My 9 year old daughter is in drama. Very little cost, and it's done wonders for her self esteem.
My 8 year old and 22 month old are crazy about swimming. The 8 year old is taking diving lessons and getting competitive. She was overweight before she started, despite the fact that I can count on one hand the number of times we have eaten out in the last year, and it was NEVER fast food. She eats mostly organic. She's just a chub.
My 5 year old is in gymnastics. She's my stepdaughter. Her mom was in gymnastics, and it's something that they do together and have in common. It's not expensive, and her mom pays half, so what do I care?
Not one of my kids is in trouble, a "bad seed", emotional problems, etc. They don't have time. That in itself is priceless.
Whatever the expense...mine are worth it.Comment
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I'm usually done by 4:10. Sometimes I have a child that doesn't get picked up until 5. Mostly I just drop the kids off at their activity and take the daycare kids to the closest park.Comment
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I just finished college aps for my son and they did in fact ask for extra-curriculars...not a prestige schools, all State Universities.
Also, STATISTICALLY kids who participate have higher GPA's and higher graduation rates. I'm working on my Master's in Education and this topic has been covered a few times.
Not that it's a ton, but kids who participate in sports, at least here, automatically get a small scholarship for college...it's only $500 or so, but still, it makes the kids feel a sense of accomplishment.Comment
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A lot of the activities offer scholarships and with four kids we need to look for these things. Also all 4 of my kids are on honor roll you can't beat that. I also find that they learn to juggle what comes their way. I have to agree that it's so nice to develops other friendship outside of school. I also look for activitys that start later.
My schedule so far goes like this,now wwhen gymnastics is done they do swimming and when dance is done its soccer time
Mon. Girl guides
Tues. scouts
Wed. Zumba for my oldest and badminton for mdd (these activities are voluntary)
Thurs. aikido for mdd and gymnastics for ydd and ds
Sat. Dance for all
Most activities are an hour so not to bad except for dance and thurs. but when I go into town I get everything done so I save gas because I don't have to make extra tripsComment
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My girls' school offers afterschool programs right at the school which I find is ideal. They offer arts, gym, cooking, theatre and organized sports such as handball and indoor soccer twice a week. The cost is 5$ per day and the program runs twice a week. The kids get a snack as well as homework help too. It is perfect because it saves us from running all over in the evenings. They also have a program during school hours where once a week the kids get to participate in activities which are taught by parent and student volunteers. They can change acitivity every 6 weeks so it gives them a chance to experiment with all types of things....dance, scrapbooking, gymnastics, music etc.
It saves the parents from paying huge amounts of money to find out that their little one doesn't really like ballet or soccer!
I agree with the parents who said that kids don't really know what they want to get into until about the age of 10 or 12. I think prior to that it is more about making ourselves feel like better parents than it is about the kids. I believe that a child should have to ask if they can pursue an activity several times before making it worthwhile to dish out the cash.
Kids need time to be kids. I don't agree with overstructuring kids lives just for the sake of saying your child is in this or doing that....I think that unless the child has a real passion for something or is in need of exercise for health reasons then it is better to just let kids be kids.
What is the point of paying for guitar lessons or dance lessons if you end up having to hound your kids to practice everyday. A child with a real passion for something needs to be told to stop playing or dancing in order to get some homework done.
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Going to try to answer some of the questions here, as it pertains to me and my family....
I do not in any way feel the extras take over our lives - and I have 3 kids in a few different activities each. I don't feel I am a better parent for allowing my child to be in activities - but I don't for a second doubt they benefit from them. But what works for my family is not necessarily what works for everyone and for those who choose NOT to allow their kids to do them it is their personal choice.
One of the best things about running a home daycare is I can cook a nice healthy dinner at any time of the day.... so even if my son has a 5:30 practice there is no crazy rushing. It doesn't always mean sitting to eat together, but we do more nights than we don't and it doesn't mean a trip to McDonalds. I don't rush looking for tights and cleats - I am home ALL DAY - plenty of time to prepare for our evening activities. I do end my work day at 5pm to help accommodate their activities. I worked till 5:30 when they were younger and I didn't change my hours on my dc families. I've always run on contracted hours so when my 2 5:30 clients outgrew me and left for school I decided it would be easier to not take any more on that late. Sure, I turn some clients away who need a later pick up time but many are fine with a 5pm closing and those are the ones I will interview and take.
As for why my kids do them, its simple - they love it. My boys are energetic and love all types of sports. They are given the opportunity to try anything and then can choose to stick with the things the love most. My 2 older ones are straight A, honor roll students, I think they try harder knowing that their beloved activities would come to an end if they weren't getting their school work done. Do I feel they are benefiting from them? ABSOLUTELY. I believe their activities help them become well-rounded, more social individuals. I have seen a transformation in my son's self esteem when he became "good" at something. My daughter has received scholastic acheivement awards thru one of our sports organizations the last 2 years - you bet that goes on college applications - and I have a friend who's HS daughter just got offered a VERY lucrative sports scholorship for a state university.
We are fortunate that money is not a problem for us. We are thrifty, I live the Dave Ramsey way and budget for their activities but the cost of gas is not going to make or break me and losing a daycare kid or two is not going to affect us too badly either (although I do try to stay full). It is not a matter of a $200 sports registration or food on the table - not ever. If it was we'd give up the sports without question.
Again, people need to do what is right for their family, not worry about what the Joneses are doing.Comment
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I do not live by a time schedule after hours. I can run my daycare that way but not my family and I do not want to. Do your 12 & 15 year olds really need to be in bed/lights out by 8:30??? Do you really need to play games every single night. Would it be so horrible if Tuesday nights from 6-7:30 your child had a practice of some sort??
For us, middle/hs gets out early - DD is home by 2:30, elementary school is home by 3:30. Homework is done by 4:30ish most nights. I can have dinner on the table for all of us by 5:15 if need be. But if by some chance someone has an early practice (most start 5:30-6pm) I can have them to eat at 4:30 while I am still watching kids. I sometimes rely on a teammates SAHM to drive to practice if its before 5pm (and then I will reciprocate by picking up). Again, most practices are till 7:30ish, older kids until 8pm but that usually just means DH runs out to pick up while the youngers are getting ready for bed. My 12 year old is still in bed by 9pm most nights.
If you are trying to talk yourself out of it, that is ok. It sounds like money is tight for you and that in itself is enough of a reason to say no. But if its only a matter of time it really can be worked out without disrupting your life. Some people can just go with the flow, while others need complete structure and routine. Neither is wrong.Comment
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