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Don't hold guilt- I honestly think its healthy for our children to have experiences with out us from time to time and vise versa. DH watching your child- win win situation. But.... if you chose to have a babysitter or other family care for your child......why not? Having children doesn't mean we have to stop living and be totally consumed by them. It means we want to share our life. Taking time for yourself is the best thing you can give your children and yourself. It rejuvenates us, makes us see other things in life, and prevents us from becoming dull and bored. It annoys me when people only talk about just the kids....its like what happened to you, and your life interest. Balance is the key!!! Now for me when I go and do something with out my kids, I do miss them like crazy, but then it opens up so much conversation when we are together again on both sides. I also think time apart prepares us for the day that they will be out on their own and it comes quick, but holding them in a bubble is not the answer. Go have fun, renew and do it guilt free please.
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Wow woman, you made me tired just reading that :Before my son was born, I worked VERY long hours. I decided when I was pregnant with him that I was going down to 8 hours a day after he was born, and that is what I did. After I pick my son up from daycare, we go to the library to bring back books and we have about 30-45 mins to find and check out new ones. Or, we might go to the park for that amount of time, and there is a great little kids gym that we often visit for an hour at the most. When we get home, we have dinner (I admit that most of the time our dinners are from the crockpot. If I started dinner right when we got home it would take way too long). After dinner, he helps me load the dishwasher, we put a movie in and we either watch it or we drag out toys to the living room to play while the movie is on, but don't really watch it.
About 7:30 or 7:45 I start his bath water and after bath he drinks a glass of milk and we pick up toys. Then it's bedtime by 8:30.
Now, sometimes we may skip the after-daycare/work activity because I've got to go to the bank or the post office, or the store. But usually that stuff can wait until the weekend.
I am up until at least 1:00am EVERY night. After he goes to sleep I take a shower, I find what clothes we will wear the next day and I pick up any remaining messes in the house. I do a couple loads of laundry and I may even scrub the bathtub and toilet or sweep and mop my floor. THEN I get to finish work from my job. Because even though I went down to only being AT work for 8 hours, my workload @ my job did not decrease, at all. It still requires that I dedicate 12+ hours per day to it.
Weekends I am in heaven. I make sure that I finish anything work-related during the week. If I have a huge thing going on at work, I may stay up EXTREMELY late during the week to get it done. I refuse to even touch that stuff on my weekends. On the weekends, we have a freaking blast!!! We will go eat pizza, play for awhile at the arcade there, we will go the science museum, we spent 4 HOURS at the lego store once. We both LOVE legos. We go play miniature golf, we go ride go-carts, we seriously party down on the weekends. We also do our grocery shopping and errands on the weekends. I don't have "me" time anymore, really. But my little boy is all I need. I KNOW he is going to want to hang out with just his friends when he gets older, so I am squeezing every drop of "mommy is my best friend" time I can get. I know there are so many moms out there like me. I don't see many parents that want to be without their kids.
I guess, really, I have a little bit of "me" time after he goes to bed on Fri & Sat night. I still have to clean and do laundry at that time, but I am so used to staying up so late, I will read a book or magazine or watch a grown up movie during that time. And I will just chill for a little bit.
I think parents really don't see the big picture. Their kids are going to get big, they don't wanna hang out with Mommy when they are teenagers. They need to have fun with their kids while they still can!!
We just got back from the pizza place for an early dinner/late lunch, we raced those big plastic motorcycles in a video game. It was so freaking fun. Here in about an hour or so we are going to the movies to see Puss in Boots.
Wish us luck with that, because last time I took him he whined the ENTIRE time and we had to leave before the movie was over. But I am trying it again, it's been about 8 mos since the last movie. I am not sure if he is really old enough to sit in a dark theater and watch a movie without interruption for 2 hours. He is 4. If it turns out like last time, we will just go home and watch a movie. But I REALLY want to see Puss in Boots so I hope he can make it thru the whole movie.
& see? I've scored about 15 mins or so of "me" time just now, & I used it to read this thread and type this up. He is playing with legos right beside me and talking about the arcade games, and it's all good & I absolutely love it
***NOTE: Living my kind of life requires several gallons of caffeine daily.***
:! Sounds like you've got it pretty well pulled together, though.
That ability to stay up late will serve you well in a few years when you've got a teenager on your hands. I found that to be one of the best times to talk to my kids during those years - they would come home from where ever they had been to find me reading a book or watching TV and we'd end up having a nice conversation about anything and everything. Now if only I could break that whole staying up late habit...Comment
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This this this!!!!!!!!Wow woman, you made me tired just reading that ::! Sounds like you've got it pretty well pulled together, though.
That ability to stay up late will serve you well in a few years when you've got a teenager on your hands. I found that to be one of the best times to talk to my kids during those years - they would come home from where ever they had been to find me reading a book or watching TV and we'd end up having a nice conversation about anything and everything. Now if only I could break that whole staying up late habit...Comment
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Everyone is different in how they handle things. What is right for one, is not right for another.
When I worked, it never occurred to me to stop at the store or postoffice. The minute I got out of the carpool van I headed straight to my kids' daycare to pick them up, then we ran whatever errands I needed to. It just never crossed my mind to do otherwise. If I wasn't at work, my kids were with me.
I've never had a problem with my parents making a quick stop at the store, or wherever, because they usually were in a hurry to get to their kids.
One dd, never makes a stop without asking first. Rarely does she go out for alone time without her 4 yo. We do run errands together on the weekend and her dh watches the little one if he doesn't want to go.
My other dd, does stop for retail therapy a couple of times a month. She is in desperate need for alone time. Her dh has some issues and goes from being super helpful to sitting in front of the tv not seeing the world. IF she is lucky, 1 of her kids will sleep through the night, but that's rare. She's a very light sleeper and gets about 4 hrs sleep a night, but that's broken into 1 hr segments. She is perpetually worn out and exhausted. I keep the kids overnight about once a month, just so she can sleep.
I don't understand having kids, and then not wanting to be a parent.Comment
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Attorney and entrepreneur Eric Parrish is still a bit of a kid at heart.
“Kids are born naturally creative,” Parrish said, “and we educate them out of that.”
To make the point that he hasn’t lost his adventuresome spirit, Parrish folded his large frame into a make-believe multi-passenger golf cart. As it turned out, Parrish got a hands-on lesson in physics as the toy toppled when he attempted to sit in the back seat.
With safety precautions taken into consideration, that’s the type of learning-by-doing environment he hopes to foster at a new child-care and after-hours drop-off center he’s opening in West Des Moines’ bustling southwest corner.
The business, Jordan Creek Preparatory School and Private Membership Club, will be housed in the former Imagination and Education Station location at 720 S. 68th St. An open house for parents interested in enrolling their children will be held from 5 to 8 p.m. Thursday.
The center will provide full-time day-care service for children ages 6 weeks to 12 years, including before- and after-school care with transportation to and from school provided. The center is certified to provide day care for 303 children.
Parrish said that fills a void created earlier this fall when Imagination and Education Station’s closing left parents in West Des Moines, Waukee and Urbandale scrambling for child care options. But the second part of his business, the membership-based drop-in service for parents who need child care evenings and weekends, fills another: Busy parents’ need for alone time.
Busy parents need evening and weekend options
The business follows a growing trend for drop-in care, which takes into account the busy schedules of parents like the Parrishes and the difficulties they have in scheduling alone time.
“People work odd hours, and need after-work options,” Parrish said, “It’s one thing to have day care when you're at work, but what do you do when you need child care after the work day or on weekends?”
Parrish, the father of three, speaks from experience. He and his wife, Angie, an engineer, have struggled to maintain a "date night" tradition.
“Both of us work,” he said. “When you are dating and first married, it’s a whole different type of dynamic than when you introduce kids. Time becomes more limited, options become more limited on nights or weekends, and you end up dragging your kids to the grocery store or a movie because you can’t call your parents every time.”
Parrish said he and Angie were “brave enough” to try taking their children with them. But it wasn’t a pleasant experience for anyone, he said.
“It’s hard to drag young kids with you to the movies, and there are no real options for parents, so we stopped doing it,” he said. “We cut out the movies and dinners.”
That wasn’t a pleasant alternative, either.
The son of divorced parents and once divorced himself, Parrish said he recognizes the dangers when parents don’t take time to reconnect without their children.
Extra revenue stream to help business succeed
The drop-in center offers another revenue stream that Parrish said will help the day-care center remain profitable in the high-rent area of West Des Moines.
“It’s hard to survive at this location,” he said. “You need that extra revenue stream.”
The center is conveniently located near the city’s retail and entertainment districts, which Parrish thinks will make it an attractive option for parents.
“While parents are doing their thing, the kids are doing things with teachers who are trained to engage them,” Parrish said. “It’s not just warehousing kids, but providing an engaging environment.”
Parrish has hired Tammy McNeil, who owns a child-care center and preschool in Fort Dodge, as director of the center. The daycare there is staffed entirely by professionals who either have obtained or are ****pursuing**** (that word pursing is the MONEY shot) degrees in early childhood education, a model Parrish wants to replicate.
The center will initially employ 30 people, and could eventually have a full- and part-time staff of 60 people. Employee retention will be a strong focus, Parrish said.
“Typically, in child care, you have a high rate of turnover; you have high turnover because workers are not paid much; they’re not paid much because they’re not trained very well,” he said. “It’s cyclical, and in trying to attack the turnover problem, you have to pay your workers above market.”
When your inner child speaks, what does it say to you? ::::
My inner child says I need AWAKE time with my parents.Comment
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Aint gonna work. His customers are going to do their ME time on the same dime they do their WORK time. If he doesn't control the number of hours they use the core business he is going to find out real fast that they figure out real fast that they would rather have their "me" time while they have their kid in child care for twelve hours a day. It cost the same to do "work time" and "me time" in that twelve hours. Once you allow SO many hours at care they won't be willing to pay for extra hours during the special hours when they can get me time within the regular hours.
Re above article:
That "pursing" their "degree" in early childhood education turns into staff taking dhs sponsored free classes at best. When he realizes how EXPENSIVE the "ece degree" staff are they will turn to "pursuing" degree staff just like every other center.
That's the biggest center scam EVER. Telling parents the eight dollar an hour employees are PURSUING their DEGREE and calling them teachers. Parent eat it up but rarely ASK to SEE the actual degrees AND the current COLLEGE classes they are doing to pursue.
The state needs to STOP allowing them to use the word teachers with these staff. They need to REQUIRE centers in their enrollment packet to sign an understanding that the staff that care for their children are NOT certified teachers and that "pursing" your ECE degree isn't any different than having nothing at all when it comes to being a teacher or a staff assistant. You either have a degree in ECE or you don't.Comment
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Nan,
Do you realize in many states (not sure about yours) but you can work in "Private Schools" grades k-12 as a teacher and not have a degree in teaching. I was approached to do this for a private school one time and had a sister in law that did teach for many years in a private school and never went to school to be a teacher.
I have a friend who's dad was a retired electrician or something and was able to substitute teacher in a public school in one of the states. So really its not the "daycare centers" that do this, it in all "School" systems.Each day is a fresh start
Never look back on regrets
Live life to the fullest
We only get one shot at this!!
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Degreed make more?
"they’re not paid much because they’re not trained very well,” he said. “It’s cyclical, and in trying to attack the turnover problem, you have to pay your workers above market.”
This is not true. You can be trained very well and still make a crappy wage. ECE teachers WITH degrees aren't paid much either. "Above market" means about $12 - $14.00/hour and that is the very HIGH end with a BA. We still only make an average of $23 - $25K per year with a four year degree. It is still not a living wage. That is why turnover is high. The people with BAs are moving on to other fields, to the school system, or moving up in rank to directors positions (if they decide to stick with ECE). What is the point of earning a BA when the return on investment is so low or even in the negative? We have to make a living wage to survive as well. So again, "not trained very well" is NOT the issue here.Comment
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I think you might not realize that the perspective of daycare providers comes from one that often sees excessive avoidance of parenting responsibilites. Most parents don't want to take their kids to do shopping. I don't. What I see is CONSTANT avoidance of parenting, for long hours on many days off. Parents that want to see their children for MAYBE two hours in the evening then put them to bed. "Good lord, don't let Johnny nap today or he'll be up till 9 and I'll actually have to parent for a few hours. Just let him stay awake all day and be cranky because I want to put him in bed at 7 without a backwards glance." The same parents are desperate to drop their kids off first thing every morning and leave them in daycare for as long as they can muster. Parenting is hard when you forget how to do it, and don't learn appropriate guidance techniques.
I work outside the home... in daycare. My kids go to daycare with me, come home with me. We have a long day. I agree with the ridiculousness of parents needing "time away".
For example... on Friday one DCP came in at 10 with her son who'd been coughing and feeling sick all week. She said "I'm only so late because I was going to keep him home to rest since I have the day off, but he kept asking to come to daycare." So she let her 3 year old decided that he wanted to be at daycare... thats 1. Here's 2. After pointing out that he hadn't been feeling well all week she left him there until 5:45. 15 minutes before all the staff goes home, he was one of the last 5 children there.. not feeling well, on a friday. WTF.
Several of our parents work a 7 on 7 off schedule and their kids don't miss a day. EVER. All the parents take their days off because they "need a break" but they don't realize that daycare is hard work for young kids. It's their job and it's NOT a desk job staring at excel sheets. It's fun but EXHAUSTING for children.
Here's how I feel. My children are CHILDREN and daycare is their employment. They will never have to work harder or longer hours than I do. I'm the adult. My job is to **** it up and make their lives easy, not have someone else make my life easy for me.
There's one infant dad at our centre who last week complained that we don't offer dinner in our group child care facility because his child is hungry at 5. Mom gets off work at 4. Dad is on disability right now. WTF is wrong with parents that they can't cope with raising their children?
DAYCARE IS HARD WORK for young children. Why don't many parents realize that?ECE and Mother to a 4 year old girl and 21 month old boyComment
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I agree with you.
I think the problem is that centers are allowed to misrepresent their staff as teachers and say "pursuing" an education and get customers based on their words instead of the actual degrees. Why pay for the real thing when you can convince your customers they are getting it and pay someone a little above minimum wage?Comment
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Wish i could in OK be a teacher in private school! That wuld be awesome"God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.'"
Acts 13:22Comment
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another parent
I just wanted to chime in as another parent who somtimes needs some "time away" from her kids! I think a majority of the time (not always, please don't yell at me) kids are much better behaved at daycare/school and save the **** for home! LOL
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you are dead on with this!! kids are always better behaved else where than they are for mommy and daddy.
My husband and I left my son with the in-laws a few months back for the weekend and the entire time we were gone they said he was super! The second I walked in the door and he could smell me, he threw a massive tantrum.
I am a DCP and I too need to take a break from my own children. Otherwise I would have kids on me non stop 24/7.
Like I said, parents like you are hard to come by, and we all would love parents who only take a break when needed, not every day.Comment
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Many times this is because the parents are too guilt-ridden or tired to deal with the behavior.Comment
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