Kid Told Me He Is Going To See His New Daycare...

[Crystal]

...ok. I sent both a message a little while ago. No response. Speaks volumes.

What kind of message? Perhaps they were taken a little off guard, hence the reason for no response. I am shocked that you chose to bring it up in a way that was NOT face to face......Speaks Volumes

[nannyde]

Nan....of course it would be utterly ridiculous and it is silly that you even bring that up. Of course we wouldn't inform the CHILD if we were going to term the family. You must be being facetious.

I would not interview new families if I did not have space available, unless they want to be placed on my waitlist, which I have done, but I would never be so unprofessional as to interview with the hopes of replacing someone. I don't need to do that though, because I love my families! As far as the parent interviewing and leaving the current provider, they don't have to give a reason....they are paying the provider, they can leave for whatever reason, whenever they want to.

I agree that the parent should be more forthcoming. BUT, if the policy is that they provide a two week notice, and they aren't prepared for that yet, as they are not leaving for more than a month, then they are well within their rights to wait. They interviewed a new provider, and OF COURSE they are going to take their child with them.....should they wait until they have given their two weeks notice to start looking for a new provider? NO! Because if they did, it is likely in that two weeks they would not find a new provider.

I really do not see the big deal....the provider CLEARLY wants the family gone anyway, so start interviewing now to fill in January or, talk to the parents or be unprofessional and term a family based on the word of a child.

I'm not being facetious. I'm asking you a pure question.

You are saying that you wouldn't interview if you didn't have an opening. I get that.

What I'm saying is if we go off of "what's the best fit" which you believe is the parents right... then can/should that be flipped around and providers should feel free to interview the better deal.... and if/when they do... that they let the child know... and tell the parents when it's best for THEM?

I guess I think if it's no big deal... then it has to be no big deal on both sides.

I think times are a changin and in many ways the value of child care has really really diminished. I think the notion of "helping raise" the kids is being challenged on every turn. I think "loyalty" has diminished greatly and possibly that has it's benefits.

Maybe there IS value in just doing what is best fit. We shouldn't consider the family or the child before we consider ourselves and our business. Maybe we should consider that it ISN'T that big of a deal to term families ... even to the point of being completely open with the child... because we ALL understand at the top of the relationship that we should do what is best for ourselves first and foremost.

Maybe it shouldn't come as a shock to a parent when a kid comes home and says that they will be getting a new day care because another child has come to take their place. The parent who does this to a provider should just understand that OF COURSE the provider should do best fit and finding out that they are not best fit is no big deal. Just be grateful for the time you HAD with the provider and move on so she can get her "best fit" on.

[Unregistered]

My perspective

It can't be both ways. I see it like this, if parents want their daycare providers to be professional and to be willing to communicate openly with them, then the provider has the right to hold the daycare parents to the same standard.

It can't be both ways.

[Crystal]

It can't be both ways. I see it like this, if parents want their daycare providers to be professional and to be willing to communicate openly with them, then the provider has the right to hold the daycare parents to the same standard.

It can't be both ways.

Actually, it CAN be both ways. The parent is PAYING you for a PROFESSIONAL service. The parent has to meet the terms of the contract, and if giving two weeks notice is what is required, then they have not failed to do that.

Certainly they are expected to pay on time, pick up and drop off on time, etc. but the provider has no right to say they can not interview other providers and take THEIR child along with them.

If I, as a parent, were looking for a new daycare, I WOULD NOT tell the current provider until I had secured quality care elsewhere, and this thread, with the attitude of some providers, should CLEARLY explain why.

[Just Saying]

Actually, it CAN be both ways. The parent is PAYING you for a PROFESSIONAL service. The parent has to meet the terms of the contract, and if giving two weeks notice is what is required, then they have not failed to do that.

Certainly they are expected to pay on time, pick up and drop off on time, etc. but the provider has no right to say they can not interview other providers and take THEIR child along with them.

If I, as a parent, were looking for a new daycare, I WOULD NOT tell the current provider until I had secured quality care elsewhere, and this thread, with the attitude of some providers, should CLEARLY explain why.

You say; I WOULD NOT tell the current provider until I had secured quality care elsewhere

Then why in the world would this DCP TELL the child they were going to look at another daycare? They put this child in the MIDDLE. Did they NOT think the little child would say something to a provider that he/she has loved for a few years?

The parent may have a right to search out other daycare, but putting a child in the MIDDLE is very wrong. That parent should of had enough RESPECT for the provider to discuss this.

But I guess the provider that has LOVED and CARED for this child for a few years is just another nobody to the DCP. This is what is SO sad!

I don't see any posters with an "attitude" on this thread. I see posters posting their opinions, as you have.

[youretooloud]

Then why in the world would this DCP TELL the child they were going to look at another daycare? They put this child in the MIDDLE. Did they NOT think the little child would say something to a provider that he/she has loved for a few years?

The parent may have a right to search out other daycare, but putting a child in the MIDDLE is very wrong. That parent should of had enough RESPECT for the provider to discuss this.

Actually, this is true... I have several families, and I'm am pretty positive they would tell ME before telling the child. Even if they were just considering it, they would talk to me first.

These parents even told the child WHEN he was starting at the new daycare.

[sharlan]

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Leave the child out of it. Talk to the parent.

[Country Kids]

When my child was in daycare we did look for another provider, we also did not take our child with us. We looked everywhere from centers to in home and chose a center that was absolutely fabulous. I wanted to see what they had to offer without the distraction of my child. It worked out great and she loved going there when we made the switch.

[Christian Mother]

It can't be both ways. I see it like this, if parents want their daycare providers to be professional and to be willing to communicate openly with them, then the provider has the right to hold the daycare parents to the same standard.

It can't be both ways.

I TOTALLY agree with this. Communication is key and I would be ticked if one of my daycare children came to me and told me they where moving to a new daycare and give me specific details of when and who and how. It's stunning. :confused: I would NEVER do that to the parents..every. I would never ever tell a child "make way honey bun bc so and so is taking your place in daycare"...that child wouldn't understand nor know what hit them. All they'd do is stare at us blankly...and when they get in the car that would be there very first thing that came out of there mouths. And that parent would be calling so fast. Rightful so. Do they not take what I do seriously...We as providers put so much in what we do...where practically a parent to these kids. A teacher...mentor...

That is why as soon as I would of heard that child mention a new daycare I would of been on the phone or at pick up..that would be there first thing out of my mouth. No text at all bc I want NO MISCOMMUNICATIONS! I would of told that parent that they should of come to me first and for most before hearing it from their child. Once I can assess what their plans are then i can make plans of my own. And pretty much take it from there.

[Christian Mother]

Actually, it CAN be both ways. The parent is PAYING you for a PROFESSIONAL service. The parent has to meet the terms of the contract, and if giving two weeks notice is what is required, then they have not failed to do that.

Certainly they are expected to pay on time, pick up and drop off on time, etc. but the provider has no right to say they can not interview other providers and take THEIR child along with them.

If I, as a parent, were looking for a new daycare, I WOULD NOT tell the current provider until I had secured quality care elsewhere, and this thread, with the attitude of some providers, should CLEARLY explain why.

Crystal seriously, if this happened to you...it wouldn't at all bother you? It sure would bother me that I wouldn't have any no how on when they plan to pull their child. The child says end of Christmas. I wouldn't believe that til the parent ashually said so. Regardless as to them giving notice. It's a respect issue. And in my contract it specially states that I will not tolerate disrespectful parents I will term right away for any disrespect and that right there would fall under those lines. There has to be some kind of code thing here that that is a no no between parents and providers. or visa versa. I am not trying to start something but this parent should of known that by telling her child and interviewing so soon that that parent might face consequences for her actions. Now that provider can turn around look for a new fit for daycare and start them after 2 wks. And that parent would need to go and see if that daycare could take them that soon or find new care earlier then what she planned. Its a no no win situation for all involved. My parents are always up front with me. If they told me what was going on I wouldn't question it bc I trust that this is what they want and I want them to be happy. We can only do so much but in return I am always upfront with mine in return.

[Crystal]

You say; I WOULD NOT tell the current provider until I had secured quality care elsewhere

Then why in the world would this DCP TELL the child they were going to look at another daycare? They put this child in the MIDDLE. Did they NOT think the little child would say something to a provider that he/she has loved for a few years?

The parent may have a right to search out other daycare, but putting a child in the MIDDLE is very wrong. That parent should of had enough RESPECT for the provider to discuss this.

But I guess the provider that has LOVED and CARED for this child for a few years is just another nobody to the DCP. This is what is SO sad!

I don't see any posters with an "attitude" on this thread. I see posters posting their opinions, as you have.

The parent is naturally going to want their child to meet any potential new provider. That is why they "put the child in the middle of it" I would do the same thing.

I understand the provider cares deeply about the child, I REALLY get that. But she also has made it clear that she just really isn't fond of the family anyway....soooo, that point is moot.

When I refer to "attitude" I do not mean towards each other on this thread, I mean the general "attitude" about the families' rights and how the individual provider would respond, or treat, this family.

[Crystal]

Actually, this is true... I have several families, and I'm am pretty positive they would tell ME before telling the child. Even if they were just considering it, they would talk to me first.

These parents even told the child WHEN he was starting at the new daycare.

Yes, ideally the parents come to talk to the provider beforehand. I see this with families who are moving, have had prolonged illness, maternity leave, etc. But if there is any animosity, or differences, between the parent and provider, I imagine most parents would NOT tell the provider beforehand.

In this situation, the provider has previoulsy expressed having issues with this family. I imagine that there is a certain level of "tension in the air" at drop off and pick up. So, as a parent, I would NOT tell the provider beforehand. And my child, and I would expect anyone's child, will meet the potential provider, interact with other children in care, etc. PRIOR to the parent deciding to sign with the new provider. THEN, I would give notice.

Four year old children talk. He met his new provider and he doesn't know he shouldn't be excited about it or talk about it. He also does not realize how much he will MISS his current provider, who loves him and has devoted alot of time to......I feel badly for provider AND child here....BUT, I also see the parent's side of it.

[Crystal]

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Leave the child out of it. Talk to the parent.

Agreed. At this point, you can only talk to the parent. But apparently a message was sent to both parents today and they did not respond. OP....any update on how that went?

[Crystal]

Crystal seriously, if this happened to you...it wouldn't at all bother you? It sure would bother me that I wouldn't have any no how on when they plan to pull their child. The child says end of Christmas. I wouldn't believe that til the parent ashually said so. Regardless as to them giving notice. It's a respect issue. And in my contract it specially states that I will not tolerate disrespectful parents I will term right away for any disrespect and that right there would fall under those lines. There has to be some kind of code thing here that that is a no no between parents and providers. or visa versa. I am not trying to start something but this parent should of known that by telling her child and interviewing so soon that that parent might face consequences for her actions. Now that provider can turn around look for a new fit for daycare and start them after 2 wks. And that parent would need to go and see if that daycare could take them that soon or find new care earlier then what she planned. Its a no no win situation for all involved. My parents are always up front with me. If they told me what was going on I wouldn't question it bc I trust that this is what they want and I want them to be happy. We can only do so much but in return I am always upfront with mine in return.

Okay, I am going to answer this the best I can.

Yes, it would bother me.

I can say, in almost 15 years of working with children and families though, that this has never happened to me. The few times I have had issues with parents, I have discussed it openly with them. If ever there is any tension in the air, it gets cleared right away. I don't allow things to fester to the point that a parent is being sneaky, but not quite sneaky enough, to find another provider. I have never had a parent leave me for another provider like that. As has been stated by PP, it GOES BOTH WAYS, and communication goes both ways....if the provider is feeling that tension in the air, she needs to clear it, or risk losing clients.

Again, I can say yes that it would sting. And I get that for this provider....I know it hurts....

BUT....the parent is NOT being disrepectful. They simply explored their options, found someone that better meets their families' needs, introduced their child to them to see if there is a connection there, and then, the child spilled the beans. They have not bailed on this provider....they have not (unless the child's date is innacurate and they are bailing next week )failed to give the required 2 week notice....

And then....the provider wants to turn the tables on them and change the contract because she has "inside information" from a four year old......please, where is the disrespect here?

[wdmmom]

I'm not being facetious. I'm asking you a pure question.

You are saying that you wouldn't interview if you didn't have an opening. I get that.

What I'm saying is if we go off of "what's the best fit" which you believe is the parents right... then can/should that be flipped around and providers should feel free to interview the better deal.... and if/when they do... that they let the child know... and tell the parents when it's best for THEM?

I guess I think if it's no big deal... then it has to be no big deal on both sides.

I think times are a changin and in many ways the value of child care has really really diminished. I think the notion of "helping raise" the kids is being challenged on every turn. I think "loyalty" has diminished greatly and possibly that has it's benefits.

Maybe there IS value in just doing what is best fit. We shouldn't consider the family or the child before we consider ourselves and our business. Maybe we should consider that it ISN'T that big of a deal to term families ... even to the point of being completely open with the child... because we ALL understand at the top of the relationship that we should do what is best for ourselves first and foremost.

Maybe it shouldn't come as a shock to a parent when a kid comes home and says that they will be getting a new day care because another child has come to take their place. The parent who does this to a provider should just understand that OF COURSE the provider should do best fit and finding out that they are not best fit is no big deal. Just be grateful for the time you HAD with the provider and move on so she can get her "best fit" on.

Even providers are guilty of "best fit" and if they aren't, they're lying. What happens when you interview 3 families all vying for one spot in the daycare?! You pick the BEST FIT!!!!

And you can bet your paycheck that if there's a waiting list and something like this arose, you'd be calling the first person on the waiting list to offer them a spot!

Some providers are so full of themselves and how they would handle the situation. To most, it's the only income they have. They lose it, they lose their livelihood. No one is going to let that happen if they have the control to prevent it.