One Of The Joys Of Owning My Own Business

[mismatchedsocks]

I think that is great! I can only imagine the weight that you lifted off her shoulders. When I had my son, I was a single mom and paid out of pocket for daycare. I took him to a center and it was $175 a week THEN! I paid this for a while, and I know how I struggled, but made it! what a blessing it would have been to even get it cut in half for a month!
Doesnt anyone ever wish they could just skip one mortgage payment?! I know I have thought that in the past!

I really wish I would have known how many families I have cared for in the past..I may start a list to get to remembering.

[permanentvacation]

I don't know - the original poster was simply trying to feel good about helping someone and NannyD had to kick her in the teeth for it. Maybe if NannyD were called out on her negativity, maybe she'd re-evaluate her posts some before posting them and upsetting people so much.

[nannyde]

I don't know - the original poster was simply trying to feel good about helping someone and NannyD had to kick her in the teeth for it. Maybe if NannyD were called out on her negativity, maybe she'd re-evaluate her posts some before posting them and upsetting people so much.

Whoa

Did you see me tell her not to do it? I didn't comment on whether it was good or bad. I commented on how giving that steep of a discount can profoundly change your relationship with them.

It's not negative. I'm telling her that it's VERY risky. Giving free has unintended consequences... and some time they are as dramatic as the good feeling you have for doing it in the first place.

If you go into it knowing that it's purely given without any expectation of anything in return then you have a way higher liklihood of being able to sit well with it as you are giving it.

IIRC Silver can only have four day care kids. Giving away a half slot income is a huge hit. Giving away 12.5 percent of your earnings for charitable reasons is a BIG decision. Giving it away in a snap decision is super risky.

She knows her business best and she knows what's best for her business. If she can absorb this big of a hit and she wants to do it... then that's wonderful for her. I'm just saying that it can have unintended consequences and it can cause A LOT of problems in the business.

[Blackcat31]

I don't know - the original poster was simply trying to feel good about helping someone and NannyD had to kick her in the teeth for it. Maybe if NannyD were called out on her negativity, maybe she'd re-evaluate her posts some before posting them and upsetting people so much.

You are right, the OP was trying to feel good about something she did. She also defended herself quite competently by saying "Watch the way you say things...it comes off harsh, cynical, and entirely unfair sometimes." which seemed to relay her feelings to Nan's post really well without the name calling aspect.

The name calling aspect is what has me riled up because we spend so much time and effort teaching the children to be polite, respectful and tolerant of other people's viewpoints and opinions...yet here we are on a pubic forum doing exactly what we teach the little people not to do. :confused:

You are entitled to your opinion of every single member on this board, but I think our ideas, thoughts, opinions and posts can all be done in the absence of calling someone a "know it all twit." That is so not necessary.

There are thousand's of opinions and viewpoints on this forum. There is a wealth of knowledge and support as well as some really good debates too. But, all of it can be accomplished without calling someone a name is all I am saying.

[MommyMuffin]

That is so nice of you to help her out. I know your not asking for advice but when I read your post I was sad for dcp and scared for you.

Like another person said, I would reevaluate the situation at a later date. I know you want to think the best of people but...what if she does end up getting money from the dad in a few months and it would be much easier for her to spend it on other things than say..."hey silver ya know what, I have more money now..how much more can I pay you."

I guess I just wouldnt do it for too long...in the long run your family finances are what hurts. But on the other hand you are so sweet for helping them out!

[momofsix]

That's a huge cut in pay.

Just keep in mind that from this point on.. regardless of their circumstance... that this rate IS the rate.

To her it's not a discounted rate or a deal. It will be for a few weeks but a month or so down the line it will just be the cost of child care.

Don't expect ANYTHING for it. Don't expect gratitude or them keeping the child home when he is sick, they are on vacay, or when they have early outs.

If you expect NOTHING out of it and understand this is now the cost of child care for this kid at your house then it should go great.

I really don't see anything horrible in this post.
She's right-this is dcm's new rate. It's up to Silver and dcm how long this new rate lasts.
I don't think when we do something "nice" for someone we should expect extra gratitude. We do kind things out of kindness, not "looking" for a pat on the shoulder. It is always nice to be appreciated, but we should not expect it as "payment" for our niceness.
Of course, anyone that's been raised correctly will show their appreciation, but that is not what we look for when we do something for someone.
Silver helped b/c she saw a need and was able to help fulfill it. She was happy because she was able to help dcm and keep the dck. Win win. No other expectations on either party!

[daycare]

I have not read all of the post, but when i read NannyD's post, she reminds me of my father.

My father taught me to always plan for the worst and expect the best. I know that I am very much like my father and have often been told, Gosh you **** the fun out of everything or you think too much. Now I am not saying Nan you **** the life out of anything....LOL I just think that you are a realist like much like my dad. AND there's nothing wrong with that at all.

Silver, my hat goes off to you and your ability to help someone in need. I have done it too and nothing makes you feel better.

Perhaps a word of advice to you is that you might need to put a cap on how long you will honor this help you are offering this mother. This way no one feels taken advantage of. Again kudos to you!

I was a single parent once and I know how it feels to struggle. No one ever offered to help me, except one lady. She allowed me to clean my child preschool at night to compensate for the fees that I could not pay her. 12 years later, I will never forget her and I have recommend tons of families to her. I hope that you will have greatness to come from this....

Big hugs and Great Job

[JenNJ]

That's great!

I recently discounted care for a family when mom suddenly lost her job durinng maternity leave. When she brought both kids back after finding work, she handed me a gift to say thanks. She said things were hard at home and it kept her older child happy being able to see her friends as usual. I've had hard times and will never forget the generosity of some when times were hard. It is great to be in a place to pass on those gifts.

[PitterPatter]

A DCM called me just now. She told me that her son's father backed out on them and is no longer helping them out. As such, she said that she was really sad but she just couldn't afford daycare anymore. She told me that she'd be trying to find a different (higher paying) job, and trying legal means to get child support, and she would try to bring him back when she could.

I made a snap decision--I asked if there was anything I could do to help, maybe give her a break on the rate until she gets back on her feet. She said that she and the dad had each been paying half and that was really all she could afford. So, I offered to charge her only half for awhile until she gets back on her feet.

She was so grateful, I think she was almost in tears. I feel so good, being able to help a single mom out when she really needs it. It will be tough for us, as we are barely squeaking by as it is, but we do what we gotta do. Clients are hard to come by around here these days, and GOOD clients like this family are even harder to come by. I love the boy and he's been here for a year now.

If I worked for someone else, I wouldn't have been able to make that decision to help someone out who needs it, to do a kindness to someone in trouble. I have done my time working for a heartless large corporation...and I hated it. I like being a small business, I like helping out when it's warranted. I like being able to make decisions for myself.

(Besides, half the fee is way better than no fee.)

God bless you for having a kind heart! Also wanted to mention maybe the Mother can now get child care assistance. Subsidized if you accept those payments.

[Christian Mother]

I think your heart is in the right place. Your like me...when you see a need your there to help. It's kindness which people lack now in days bc we've learned to be so hard. It's times that have changed us. I see many blessings coming your way bc even if this mother takes advantage and there might be that possibility... you took that chance any way and decided it doesn't really matter. You see the greater need then your self. It's called selflessness. Did I spell that or get that right. You've done something that was so wonderful and it will either be remembered or forgotten but..it will be passed on...it's just the way the universe works. Your going to be blessed for this single selfless act of kindness to another person. And I don't see it as bragging at all but as something that was beyond wonderful and you just wanted to share. I don't for one moment think you came into making that decision as expecting anything from it. You made a snappy decision like you said in your post and it was from the kindness of your heart. Good for you!!

[Lucy]

That's a huge cut in pay.

Just keep in mind that from this point on.. regardless of their circumstance... that this rate IS the rate.

To her it's not a discounted rate or a deal. It will be for a few weeks but a month or so down the line it will just be the cost of child care.

Don't expect ANYTHING for it. Don't expect gratitude or them keeping the child home when he is sick, they are on vacay, or when they have early outs.

If you expect NOTHING out of it and understand this is now the cost of child care for this kid at your house then it should go great.

Good grief. Debbie Downer.



OP: Congratulations on your good deed. I know it made your heart feel good. Kindnesses will come back to you two-fold. Pay it forward, as they say!! Good job!

[Lucy]

i understand that you've been doing this for a long time, nanny, but i really think that along with experience this has given you a heaping helping of cynicism. You rarely (if ever) seem to think that our clients are anything but out to get us, to screw us over, and to get more than their money's worth. Maybe many are, maybe most are, but that does not mean all are. Many daycare parents do keep their kids home when sick, pay on time, pay extra when needed, and take a leg up when it's offered.

Watch the way you say things...it comes off harsh, cynical, and entirely unfair sometimes.

^^^this ^^^

[Gigi]

A DCM called me just now. She told me that her son's father backed out on them and is no longer helping them out. As such, she said that she was really sad but she just couldn't afford daycare anymore. She told me that she'd be trying to find a different (higher paying) job, and trying legal means to get child support, and she would try to bring him back when she could.

I made a snap decision--I asked if there was anything I could do to help, maybe give her a break on the rate until she gets back on her feet. She said that she and the dad had each been paying half and that was really all she could afford. So, I offered to charge her only half for awhile until she gets back on her feet.

She was so grateful, I think she was almost in tears. I feel so good, being able to help a single mom out when she really needs it. It will be tough for us, as we are barely squeaking by as it is, but we do what we gotta do. Clients are hard to come by around here these days, and GOOD clients like this family are even harder to come by. I love the boy and he's been here for a year now.

If I worked for someone else, I wouldn't have been able to make that decision to help someone out who needs it, to do a kindness to someone in trouble. I have done my time working for a heartless large corporation...and I hated it. I like being a small business, I like helping out when it's warranted. I like being able to make decisions for myself.

(Besides, half the fee is way better than no fee.)

That's true, and believe me - this generosity will come back to you in another form.... It always does, and it happens unexpectedly too

[NiNi.R.]

Wow! I thought I was the only one who thought NannyD was a snippy know-it-all twit!

Whoa! That seems a little unnecessary! I believe that some of Nan's views would work well in my business...others do not. It's that simple. You take everyone's opinion into consideration and you do what works well for your business.

To the OP. Good for you! I helped a family out once and don't regret it. I had a DCM that went down to PT because she could no longer afford FT. Long story short the place she worked for switched hands and they no longer offered her the pay she was originally getting. Her husband was a farmer and the amount of care she needed fluctuated by season. This was an excellent family of mine. We went into a special agreement and I had a temporary contract for her that was good for 2 months. Every 2 months we would reevaluate. In the contract she only paid by the hour and it also stated that If someone came along that was willing to pay a full time spot she would need to meet a full time payment standard or I would no longer be able to provide care. This went on for almost a year until another great family came along. When she was forced to make the decision she chose to no longer bring her children here.

Anyways the point in this story was just to give you some policies to maybe keep in mind if you decide to write her up a special contract. I know how some pay is better than no pay!

[Country Kids]

This is an absolutely wonderful thing you did for this mom!!!! Remember that you are helping someone who seems to really need it at this time in her life. She was probably so worried to tell you and you lifted a huge weight off of her shoulders.

If everyone treated everyone in the world this way what a better place this would be. I think about all the times we get sick to our stomachs when we have to talk to a parent or term them. Some parents take it absolutely fine and go on with no regrets of being with us. This is probably how this mom felt. Sick to her stomach, losing sleep, headaches, and then you made it all better by being very understanding.

That is what is wonderful about owning our own businesses. We control what we can do!!!! When reading your post, I saw nothing about bragging but someone who felt good and wanted to share about one of the perks of having an in home business.

Sure, you did it on a whim, looking back possibly you should have done a "special contract", but you know what, it's not to late. If you feel a contract just for this mom needs to be drawn up I'm very sure she will understand.

There were some pretty harsh posts on this subject and that isn't what you wanted I'm sure. I think sometimes advice comes across the wrong way and we need to brush those off and keep going. Words don't come out right on the computer and this has been adressed many, many times before.

Just keep up the good work and remember all it takes is one kind act to help someone who really needs it!