One Of The Joys Of Owning My Own Business

[SilverSabre25]

A DCM called me just now. She told me that her son's father backed out on them and is no longer helping them out. As such, she said that she was really sad but she just couldn't afford daycare anymore. She told me that she'd be trying to find a different (higher paying) job, and trying legal means to get child support, and she would try to bring him back when she could.

I made a snap decision--I asked if there was anything I could do to help, maybe give her a break on the rate until she gets back on her feet. She said that she and the dad had each been paying half and that was really all she could afford. So, I offered to charge her only half for awhile until she gets back on her feet.

She was so grateful, I think she was almost in tears. I feel so good, being able to help a single mom out when she really needs it. It will be tough for us, as we are barely squeaking by as it is, but we do what we gotta do. Clients are hard to come by around here these days, and GOOD clients like this family are even harder to come by. I love the boy and he's been here for a year now.

If I worked for someone else, I wouldn't have been able to make that decision to help someone out who needs it, to do a kindness to someone in trouble. I have done my time working for a heartless large corporation...and I hated it. I like being a small business, I like helping out when it's warranted. I like being able to make decisions for myself.

(Besides, half the fee is way better than no fee.)

[Zoe]

I was just gonna say that half fee is better than no fee! Especially for a good client. Good for you! I bet that mom will stay with you for as long as the child needs care because of your generosity and understanding.

[godiva83]

That is awesome it is nice knowing you can help out when wanted/needed.
Good for you

[LittleD]

Maybe to take some of the burden offf you, you could ask her to provide lunch/ snacks for him.

[nannyde]

That's a huge cut in pay.

Just keep in mind that from this point on.. regardless of their circumstance... that this rate IS the rate.

To her it's not a discounted rate or a deal. It will be for a few weeks but a month or so down the line it will just be the cost of child care.

Don't expect ANYTHING for it. Don't expect gratitude or them keeping the child home when he is sick, they are on vacay, or when they have early outs.

If you expect NOTHING out of it and understand this is now the cost of child care for this kid at your house then it should go great.

[SilverSabre25]

That's a huge cut in pay.

Just keep in mind that from this point on.. regardless of their circumstance... that this rate IS the rate.

To her it's not a discounted rate or a deal. It will be for a few weeks but a month or so down the line it will just be the cost of child care.

Don't expect ANYTHING for it. Don't expect gratitude or them keeping the child home when he is sick, they are on vacay, or when they have early outs.

If you expect NOTHING out of it and understand this is now the cost of child care for this kid at your house then it should go great.

Now I know that I do not have to defend myself or my choices to you but...this is one of the places that you are very cynical I think, and have a hard time ever giving ANYONE the benefit of the doubt. This is NOT a flaky client; I had my doubts when she started (young and single) but she is a fantastic daycare parent. I would NOT have done this for anyone I didn't trust.

I understand that you've been doing this for a long time, nanny, but I really think that along with experience this has given you a heaping helping of cynicism. You rarely (if ever) seem to think that our clients are anything but out to get us, to screw us over, and to get more than their money's worth. Maybe many are, maybe MOST are, but that does not mean all are. Many daycare parents do keep their kids home when sick, pay on time, pay extra when needed, and take a leg up when it's offered.

She did not call me up asking for a concession. She apologized for short notice and offered me money for this week and next if it would help. She is NOT one of the parents you seem most familiar with. I read people well, and I trust my gut. When she finds a better job with more hours and better pay, she'll start paying me more again--I KNOW this. I TRUST this. I TRUST her, and I TRUST my impression of her and my feelings about her.

I've never been a single mom, but I sure have been in positions where I desperately wished there was someone to cut me a break, give me a hand, and help me out of a ****y situation. I'm in one of those situations right now...and I chose to pay it forward by helping someone else out.

Watch the way you say things...it comes off harsh, cynical, and entirely unfair sometimes.

[laundrymom]

Wow, first. Let me say. You absolutely rock. Period. Kindness such as this is rare. And I'm sure mom treasures it. Also. Three years from now when her neighbor needs someone, she will remember you, your compassion. And pass along your name. You are sowing seeds of ' faith, hope, and love. '. Those seeds sprout in surprising places. It could be a new client, your car not having a flat on the next trip, or anything. You never know. You did what your heart felt was right. That feeling alone is worth more than the lost money to most people. It will come back to you. :-).

Personally I would give it some time and if it looked like she was doing better reevaluate the discount. If your feeling is right, and she knows you are struggling too I'm sure she will try real hard to get things back on track.

I've done things like this before and other than one family, it turned out great in a few months.

Good luck and THANK YOU. For using your heart to guide you.

[littlemissmuffet]

Good job, Silver!
I hope your mom finds a new job and that dad smartens up and starts paying child support! In the meantime, know you've done a good deed for the sake of that child, and his momma!

I agree with the PP about snacks/lunch - would help in the way of cutting costs with this particular child!

[nannyde]

Now I know that I do not have to defend myself or my choices to you but...this is one of the places that you are very cynical I think, and have a hard time ever giving ANYONE the benefit of the doubt. This is NOT a flaky client; I had my doubts when she started (young and single) but she is a fantastic daycare parent. I would NOT have done this for anyone I didn't trust.

I understand that you've been doing this for a long time, nanny, but I really think that along with experience this has given you a heaping helping of cynicism. You rarely (if ever) seem to think that our clients are anything but out to get us, to screw us over, and to get more than their money's worth. Maybe many are, maybe MOST are, but that does not mean all are. Many daycare parents do keep their kids home when sick, pay on time, pay extra when needed, and take a leg up when it's offered.

She did not call me up asking for a concession. She apologized for short notice and offered me money for this week and next if it would help. She is NOT one of the parents you seem most familiar with. I read people well, and I trust my gut. When she finds a better job with more hours and better pay, she'll start paying me more again--I KNOW this. I TRUST this. I TRUST her, and I TRUST my impression of her and my feelings about her.

I've never been a single mom, but I sure have been in positions where I desperately wished there was someone to cut me a break, give me a hand, and help me out of a ****y situation. I'm in one of those situations right now...and I chose to pay it forward by helping someone else out.

Watch the way you say things...it comes off harsh, cynical, and entirely unfair sometimes.

Nah

I've been advising providers for many years and I've seen your exact scenario played out over and over again. A pretty new client (one year is a very new client) who has something.. in this case "single mother" that defends the free.

The discourse begins with simple: The mom gets a new phone... a nicer phone than you have... then they come in with a fresh manicure when you thought they were at work. Then it's a weekend away and you realize that had to be some serious gas money... Then it's the promotion they are SO excited about with narry a word about putting your salary back up to as it was before. Next thing you know you start looking at what they have... what they spend their money on... and before you know it you realize the discount you just gave up is being spent on special.

Happnes over and over. It's not cynicism. It's experience.

You "could" be the one. You "could" be the one to spot the one who can manage the free and do everything they can to protect it and cherish it. You could have the one that will do everything in their power to get you back to square whether you ask for it or not. You "could" have the one who will forego all things special and make sure that any extra goes to you. You "could" have the one who keeps their kid out of child care every possible minute so that you can make as much profit as possible with the new deal.

That "one" would be pretty hard to spot with only a year of experience with them.

The other concern to me is that she is even considering taking your offer. When she gave you notice she had to have had a plan of what to do. Her choice to take your offer instead of doing what she intended to do before she gave you notice is a red flag to me.

I hope I'm wrong. I really do.

[Crazy8]

Now I know that I do not have to defend myself or my choices to you but...this is one of the places that you are very cynical I think, and have a hard time ever giving ANYONE the benefit of the doubt. This is NOT a flaky client; I had my doubts when she started (young and single) but she is a fantastic daycare parent. I would NOT have done this for anyone I didn't trust.

I understand that you've been doing this for a long time, nanny, but I really think that along with experience this has given you a heaping helping of cynicism. You rarely (if ever) seem to think that our clients are anything but out to get us, to screw us over, and to get more than their money's worth. Maybe many are, maybe MOST are, but that does not mean all are. Many daycare parents do keep their kids home when sick, pay on time, pay extra when needed, and take a leg up when it's offered.

She did not call me up asking for a concession. She apologized for short notice and offered me money for this week and next if it would help. She is NOT one of the parents you seem most familiar with. I read people well, and I trust my gut. When she finds a better job with more hours and better pay, she'll start paying me more again--I KNOW this. I TRUST this. I TRUST her, and I TRUST my impression of her and my feelings about her.

I've never been a single mom, but I sure have been in positions where I desperately wished there was someone to cut me a break, give me a hand, and help me out of a ****y situation. I'm in one of those situations right now...and I chose to pay it forward by helping someone else out.

Watch the way you say things...it comes off harsh, cynical, and entirely unfair sometimes.

You are awesome Silver!!! I think you are doing a wonderful thing and I believe in karma.

[Unregistered]

I will weigh in here and say "awesome"! I was a single parent and now what that's like, i never got[or expected]a cut in daycare rate as i was with an agency. I now have a DCM in almost the exact situation as yours, and she was unemployed for two months. I gave her a small fee for her daughter to come two days after school, just to keep her in the loop. she started a new job today and will be paying a little more to me as she now needs before school. i felt like you, why lose a good family if you can make it work! I am glad i did, so you should too! It does feel good to be able to make those decisions!

[laundrymom]

I'm on year 24, and have had only one mom of about 347 families who took the kind of advantage of me that you describe Nanny. Maybe I'm lucky? How many have taken advantage of you to make you feel so strongly about this? I'm sure people here aren't that different than there.

Nah

I've been advising providers for many years and I've seen your exact scenario played out over and over again. A pretty new client (one year is a very new client) who has something.. in this case "single mother" that defends the free.

The discourse begins with simple: The mom gets a new phone... a nicer phone than you have... then they come in with a fresh manicure when you thought they were at work. Then it's a weekend away and you realize that had to be some serious gas money... Then it's the promotion they are SO excited about with narry a word about putting your salary back up to as it was before. Next thing you know you start looking at what they have... what they spend their money on... and before you know it you realize the discount you just gave up is being spent on special.

Happnes over and over. It's not cynicism. It's experience.

You "could" be the one. You "could" be the one to spot the one who can manage the free and do everything they can to protect it and cherish it. You could have the one that will do everything in their power to get you back to square whether you ask for it or not. You "could" have the one who will forego all things special and make sure that any extra goes to you. You "could" have the one who keeps their kid out of child care every possible minute so that you can make as much profit as possible with the new deal.

That "one" would be pretty hard to spot with only a year of experience with them.

I hope I'm wrong. I really do.

[Unregistered]

You know what's sad? When I read the original post I thought it was such a great thing to do - and I was also pretty sure Nannyde would say just about the exact same sort of thing she did, to put a damper on a good deed. OP you will be blessed as well, I'm sure!

[morgan24]

I think that is a very kind thing to do. I have done the same thing for a family who fell on hard times. As soon as they got back on their feet they paid the full rate.

[godiva83]

Good for you- remain positive, and really in the end if it does turn out to be a more negative scenario, just remember that you did something good for someone who really did need it and that good Karma will find you one day!