Venting Thread

[Leigh]

Throughout your posts you always stick up for the Dad's when statistically they get the short end of the stick when it comes to parental responsibility/court/custody/child support area. I admire that.

I have seen equally bad behaviors from both sexes. I have a dad who has been pushing for full custody because he wants to stop paying child support and because his kids get SSI checks. I have heard SO much from him about those checks! This dad doesn't even FEED his kids when he has them (tube fed-he doesn't feed them AT ALL-the older kids have told me this, and when I send him formula, it ALL comes back). He doesn't give necessary meds (VERY necessary). I would photograph the meters on their O2 tanks before pickup and at drop off, and they'd never been turned on. I would photograph meters on their meds, and they were never dispensed. These photos were used in court to minimize his visits (they would get dropped off with me on Monday morning, and by Wednesday, they would be in NICU again from his neglect.

I have another dad who drops off his kid and takes his shoes away at drop off (he's 3) on days that mom picks up because he doesn't want DCM to use shoes that HE bought.

I had a mom who refused to give her kids prescribed meds (they NEEDED them) and refused to let them wear their glasses (twins-they would literally run into furniture and walls without their glasses).

I have a mom right now who tries to drop off her kid with me so that she can RAKE HER YARD, because she CAN'T do that when her kid is present (she is only allowed to be here during work hours because of assistance). She would do ANYTHING not to take care of her own kid.

I've seen it go both ways. There are some wonderful parents out there, and there are some who truly DON'T deserve custody (and one that I know doesn't even deserve unsupervised visitation). And, I've seen it from males and females.

[midaycare]

My 3 kids that start Labor Day week are all state pay. Which means I work for "free" for about 6 weeks, until the state pays me. Sigh...

[Blackcat31]

My 3 kids that start Labor Day week are all state pay. Which means I work for "free" for about 6 weeks, until the state pays me. Sigh...

Are you guys paid monthly via the state system?

That ****s if you have to wait 6 weeks to get paid....
Do you have rules that would allow you to have the families pay first and then be reimbursed when the state pays you?

I have state pay families at the very least put down a two week deposit. I know most/many can't afford it (which is why they are on state assistance) but I still do it and if they want to use my services bad enough they figure out how to beg, borrow or steal it.

Does your state at least verify with you BEFORE services are provided that the family WILL be getting assistance?

[midaycare]

Are you guys paid monthly via the state system?

That ****s if you have to wait 6 weeks to get paid....
Do you have rules that would allow you to have the families pay first and then be reimbursed when the state pays you?

I have state pay families at the very least put down a two week deposit. I know most/many can't afford it (which is why they are on state assistance) but I still do it and if they want to use my services bad enough they figure out how to beg, borrow or steal it.

Does your state at least verify with you BEFORE services are provided that the family WILL be getting assistance?

I think - at least compared to the horror stories I've heard from other states - that MI is pretty good. They do verify before the parents start that they qualify. The kicker is it takes a good 4-6 weeks for everything to get up and running once they start

I take it on a case by case basis. I have one other state pay here right now and she had to pay until the state did. However, the 2 women who are starting here? Both of them have literally not a dime to their name. Both are living in a transitional home for women. I'm working with the home to give them daycare so they can start their jobs.

They both seem like really great parents, so I'm excited to have them here. But waiting for the state to pay suuuucks. Once they get up and running, I get paid every 2 weeks like clockwork. And they do send backpay with the first check.

I'm just thinking, "oh super, I now have 2 part time employees to pay, and with what money?" Sigh. Oh well. I'm going through a weird spot right now. I've always had a zillion calls for daycare. I have 2 open spots in 2 weeks and no one has called for the 18 month and up age group.

I've never had an empty spot. I'm even advertising. I hear people need daycare like crazy!

[Miss A]

Last week's newbie came down with a fever and spent half the week at home sick. So, we are basically on our second first week this week. Hopefully he figures out soon that screaming for hours straight is no way to make friends, because if he doesn't he will be on his way out the door.

[storybookending]

Any advice on an almost 22 month old that screams and cries every time she wakes up? This is only her second week back to daycare as mom is a teacher. She has been like this since she was little. Wakes up in the mornings happy but nap is a different story. I switched her to a toddler bed hoping she wouldn't feel caged and was free to come out on her own but she this is week two and she still screams and she wakes the child she shares a room with. I don't have the option of putting her in another room. I could potentially switch her to the big kid room but why run the risk of waking up 3 versus now just the one? She wakes up after almost an hour of sleep almost every time. Nap is at noon and she wakes up right around 1PM every single time. Before summer break she was only napping about 75 minutes total as well waking up at 1:15PM. Today she woke up at 1, woke up the 9motnh old in the process but I did get her to lay down again after telling her it wasn't wake up time yet.

[Blackcat31]

Any advice on an almost 22 month old that screams and cries every time she wakes up? This is only her second week back to daycare as mom is a teacher. She has been like this since she was little. Wakes up in the mornings happy but nap is a different story. I switched her to a toddler bed hoping she wouldn't feel caged and was free to come out on her own but she this is week two and she still screams and she wakes the child she shares a room with. I don't have the option of putting her in another room. I could potentially switch her to the big kid room but why run the risk of waking up 3 versus now just the one? She wakes up after almost an hour of sleep almost every time. Nap is at noon and she wakes up right around 1PM every single time. Before summer break she was only napping about 75 minutes total as well waking up at 1:15PM. Today she woke up at 1, woke up the 9motnh old in the process but I did get her to lay down again after telling her it wasn't wake up time yet.

Does she nap twice or just once at your house?
Do you have the possibility of putting the other child she shares a room with in a different room so that DCG doesn't disturb others if she wakes screaming?

Most the time IME anyways, kids that wake crying aren't done with their nap yet and for whatever reason woke crying so if I try to soothe them or for one of mine just leave them alone they usually go back to sleep.

[Love]

DCG 4yrs still poops in her pants...and it smells horrible! Idk how to describe it its the worst ever in this world...i almost throw up every time. Even after i bring the garbage out to the garage my house still smells like her poop and it lingers for hours! Its annoying that shes no where near potty training because of her lazy parents, im tired of changing a 4 year old diaper!. So glad shes leaving soon!

[storybookending]

Does she nap twice or just once at your house?
Do you have the possibility of putting the other child she shares a room with in a different room so that DCG doesn't disturb others if she wakes screaming?

Most the time IME anyways, kids that wake crying aren't done with their nap yet and for whatever reason woke crying so if I try to soothe them or for one of mine just leave them alone they usually go back to sleep.

She naps once and has since before she was a year. As an infant she was a serial cat napper. I keep waiting for her to grow out of this waking up after an hour crying business. I know she needs more rest than what she is getting. I don't really have a practical place to move the 9 month old unfourtunatly. I think I am just going to have to move her into the big kid room. I am waiting until DCB5 to start K. School starts here on Friday.

[Blackcat31]

She naps once and has since before she was a year. As an infant she was a serial cat napper. I keep waiting for her to grow out of this waking up after an hour crying business. I know she needs more rest than what she is getting. I don't really have a practical place to move the 9 month old unfourtunatly. I think I am just going to have to move her into the big kid room. I am waiting until DCB5 to start K. School starts here on Friday.

Its so hard when you have that one "hard" napper.

I have one right now that makes "Mmmmm, MMMMmmm, Mmmm " sounds the ENTIRE nap time. It is so annoying that I am annoying myself just talking about it.

I had hoped he would outgrow it as I thought it was rooted in his thumb ****ing but it's been almost 3 full years and he is still doing it.

Even worse, his baby brother (age 1) does it too!
Sometimes I swear they do it back and forth as if answering each other (they sleep in different rooms here) and then it's in stereo! Yay! NOT!

Sorry I don't have better advice.
I think there just always has to be "one" that does things their own way.

[storybookending]

My sister does that when she's falling asleep too! We only had to share a room for a few months as a kid and my parents had me convinced it was all in my head. 20 years later we can joke about it. I've noticed I do it too but only once or twice as I'm falling asleep and only if I'm super tired!!

I guess I'm just going to have to **** it up with my crier. She marches to the beat of her own drum in every other area of her life so why would nap be any different?

[Lil_Diddle]

I've had a sub that's been with me for two years now, is a parent to one of my DCK's and is a regular coming on Tuesdays so I can use that day as my errand day. She has become a huge blessing to me and really to all my daycare families in that if I am unavailable she is here to keep the daycare open.

Another DCM that has been with me over a year sent me a text today that her boy had come home and had poop in his pants. Checked with sub, she changed him after nap so he must have done it while kids were outside or in DCD's car. I'm not sure why DCM was so frustrated as I've had her boy over a year and he's never been sent home with dirty pants before or had a rash due to negligence.

Anyways what I'm venting about is not her frustration, but that in her text she referred to my sub as "that girl" as in "will you please let that girl know that she should have checked his pull-up" grrr....for one "that girl" has a name and she should know it after a year of her caring for your child one day a week every week. Secondly, I did check in with "that girl" and she did check everyone after nap as always and boy was clean. I almost feel disrespected in that she disrespected my trusted friend/sub like that. Idk, maybe I'm just being too sensitive, but shouldn't you at least know the name of the person caring for your child

[Leigh]

DCG 4yrs still poops in her pants...and it smells horrible! Idk how to describe it its the worst ever in this world...i almost throw up every time. Even after i bring the garbage out to the garage my house still smells like her poop and it lingers for hours! Its annoying that shes no where near potty training because of her lazy parents, im tired of changing a 4 year old diaper!. So glad shes leaving soon!

I had one of those. It took FOREVER to get parents to insist on an abdominal x-ray. The child had a giant ball of poop stuck in him. He still struggles with incontinence and constipation after dealing with at least 3 years of being constipated and having a partial blockage. I suppose the God-awful smell was from whatever was rotting inside him? I'd tell the parents to get that kid into a gastroenterologist and get her an xray.

[midaycare]

All my dcks are rotten today. I lovethis them, but today I don't like them very much.

[Rockgirl]

I've had a sub that's been with me for two years now, is a parent to one of my DCK's and is a regular coming on Tuesdays so I can use that day as my errand day. She has become a huge blessing to me and really to all my daycare families in that if I am unavailable she is here to keep the daycare open.

Another DCM that has been with me over a year sent me a text today that her boy had come home and had poop in his pants. Checked with sub, she changed him after nap so he must have done it while kids were outside or in DCD's car. I'm not sure why DCM was so frustrated as I've had her boy over a year and he's never been sent home with dirty pants before or had a rash due to negligence.

Anyways what I'm venting about is not her frustration, but that in her text she referred to my sub as "that girl" as in "will you please let that girl know that she should have checked his pull-up" grrr....for one "that girl" has a name and she should know it after a year of her caring for your child one day a week every week. Secondly, I did check in with "that girl" and she did check everyone after nap as always and boy was clean. I almost feel disrespected in that she disrespected my trusted friend/sub like that. Idk, maybe I'm just being too sensitive, but shouldn't you at least know the name of the person caring for your child

He could have pooped on the car ride home!